Chapter 18

Pardin's band of adventurers had expanded and now he traveled with humans as well. Magic appeared to have few boundaries and the rebirth of Magic Keep had been felt many leagues away. Those who were sensitive to the magic had been immediately drawn to the keep.

He had a few men who could bear arms but there were many more women, of all different ages, and they joined his march. Few of the women seemed put off by the trolls and some were actually drawn to them. Shmor and Skor were in their glory as they made conversation on the road and beside the cook pot; they loved the attention.

Whatever had happened at Magic Keep, Anorexia was no longer an infant. She had grown in size and gained many characteristics of a grown dragon. Just as the magic had affected the humans and other magic folk, the magic had made a mark on the dragon. She looked more dangerous and she had developed a rebelliousness about her. She still listened to her ma and da even though there was a reluctance to obey. She still liked having the scales behind her ears scratched and her ears rubbed though.

They were behind schedule by at least two weeks. While Pardin hoped that a quicker advance would be some sort of advantage, a bunch of horny creatures slowed down all of his plans. He had expected some of the inhabitants of Magic Keep to be embarrassed or even mortified by the events of its re-founding. He had heard a scrap or two of spouses arguing but nothing like humiliation or regret. His mother snuck off that night to an unknown location for some loving. He knew what she had been doing because she couldn't walk straight the next day.

"It's been too long," is all she would say and Pardin was not going to press the subject. Besides, he had his own bedroom issues. Adray wanted to know what human pussy tasted like. She was intrigued by the smell and was intensely curious. He could claim to be proficient at the comparison of pussies of the two races but he held his tongue.

Was it true that a hard cock had no conscience? Or a wet pussy for that matter?

Pardin remembered all the banter from Bernie and his two sidekicks, especially the part about Adray keeping the ladies happy. Fuster had not lied to him either. He was bonded to his wife but he had no problem shoving his cock in a human pussy. He replayed that event over in his head many times, shocked by his behavior and surprised at how that fuck was interesting but not so consequential. He wanted Adray; he felt whole with her and the strength of his conviction surprised him. Then he swallowed the entire revelation and did his best to ignore it.

Fairies were flying furiously. There was danger ahead.

Lord Hinderblast had sent forth a company to defeat them before they reached the capitol. They had set up an ambush on the road just outside of Riverton, where the great bridge across the river stood. From high in the sky looking down on the scene, Pardin could see the company digging their fortifications and practicing their drills, both on foot and with horses.

He considered several strategies including dive bombing with a live dragon, waiting for the damnably late dwarves, or simply retreating. Two magic swords, one badass axe, and two troll weapons were not going to compensate for a hundred men with swords, bows, axes, maces, and other nasty, sharp weapons.

As he headed back to their makeshift camp, Pardin knew that he was missing a crucial turn in his thinking. He was not a military man and had no experience at warfare. If he fought them using their rules and according to their expectations, he was going to get himself and everyone else killed.

"Think!" he shouted into the wind. Anorexia rumbled beneath them as she let fly a huge dragon turd. A couple of heartbeats later he heard tree limbs crack under the impact of flying dragon shit. He considered dragon shit for a moment and dismissed it as simply not powerful enough to take out an entire company. At least dragon shit was different idea and different rules.

Anorexia landed and Pardin jumped down without considering the strangeness of his dismount. Taking his baby for a flight to feed three or four times a day had made dragon flying routine. The thought struck him as he walked away. Turning back, he watched her attack a blossoming apple tree with glee. He loved her free spirit.

Fuster found him and landed on his right shoulder. "Congratulate me!" she said.

"Congratulations," Pardin said. "What are we celebrating?"

"My bitch house is now the biggest in the land," Fuster said. "I'm really am the boss Madam now."

"You have over a hundred fairies?" Pardin asked.

She snorted. "Well over a mere hundred, Master of the House. Even Adray's da can't claim a flock with as many as I have."

The number gave Pardin pause. "If you have so many subjects, Fuster, then perhaps it is time to earn your keep. There are one hundred human soldiers waiting for us just over the horizon."

"Fairies against humans - I don't think so," Fuster said. "We're fuckers, not fighters."

"You're business managers," Pardin said. "We won't defeat these soldiers by fighting them with weapons. How about dosing their food with fresh fettock?"

"Fettock would give them severe cramping and the shits," Fuster said. "Unless you are going to give them a huge dose, they will recover and then you will have to kill them anyway. No offense, Master of the House, I don't see you stepping through a writhing mass of humans and slitting their throats. It's not your style."

"No offense taken," Pardin said. "Do you have another suggestion?"