Chapter 17

At first Pardin was a bit embarrassed by his wife's antics after they had trooped inside for a night's rest. After all, the house was small but neither the house nor his mother's presence in the next room deterred Adray. She was as playful and demanding as usual. Pardin was reluctant until he heard his mother snort in amusement at one of Adray's insistent commands. He changed his mind. Putting aside his initial hesitancy, he gave her a determined screwing that left her cuddled next to him with sleepy delight.

In the morning Pardin disentangled himself from his wife's sleeping form and made his way to the privy. The baby was stirring outside but was not calling for attention yet. When he returned, Pardin's mother already had water on to boil. She didn't say anything, simply patting him on the back. After sharing a cup of klava, Pardin took his mother out to meet the dragon.

Anorexia was taking her time waking up. She opened one eye as they approached and dropped it closed. When Pardin started scratching her, she decided to pop open both eyes. Her irises were an intense violet.

"Oh, look who is finally awake," his mother said. She began by patting the dragon on her muzzle. After a brief inspection, his mother peeled back the upper lip to inspect the teeth. Anorexia tolerated the inspection as if it was normal.

"Her gums are nice and pink," she said. "I don't see any mucus at the corners of her eyes, which is good. Yes, you're a good girl."

"Son," she continued, "dragons are prone to inflammation of their renal glands, much like sheepdogs are. The glands need to be kept free of shit, and while she is probably going to keep the area clean, you need to check it yourself."

"I've got to stick my hand up a dragon's ass?" Pardin said with incredulity. "How do you know this?"

"Orcs and dragons are of the same creation, son," she said. "My mother passed down to me the history that was passed down to her by her mother. The chain goes all the way to our ancestor who bent over to pick something off of the ground with a cock swinging orc behind her. He knocked her up good and she made him stick around for the birthing. Then she threw him and his stinking glands out."

"A hand up her ass?" Pardin said still disbelieving.

"Your father could get his entire fist up my ass," she said with a smirk on her face. "Wussy."

"No wonder you and Adray get along," Pardin said, trying not to look at his mother. "That is way more information than I ever wanted to know about you and da."

Looking for a distraction to change the direction of the conversation, Pardin offered his mother a ride. He climbed up first and reached down to pull her up. His mother did not need much help. Regardless of what life had thrown her, she was not a broken woman in any common way.

With his mother holding on tight to his waist, Pardin took hold of the spikes. When Anorexia leapt into the sky, his mother howled with delight. He felt her twisting every which way to look out upon the world after the dragon evened out her flight. In the early light, Anoxrexia was flying closer to the treetops, following the edge of the forest. Pardin felt her head jerk back slightly and he warned his mother.

Anorexia struck. She had honed her skills quickly and her prey was fast caught in talons on both of her front feet. Her assent was not hurried and she kept plenty of room between her and tall obstacles. A few minutes later she plopped down in the family field with a dead doe for breakfast.

"She prefers venison of late," Pardin said, helping his mother to dismount.

"It's better than my gooseberry bushes, damnit it all," she said. "We need to talk in private while my grandragon eats, son. Are any of those fairies about?"

"We are in the clear for the moment," Pardin said, looking around. "They can't keep up with a dragon. What is on your mind?"

"There is more to the story of our orc forefather and human mother," she said, "and it has nothing to do with elves. When the magic began to retreat from the human lands, the elves departed lickity-split and the humans were left to fend for themselves."

"How do you know this?" Pardin asked.

His mother rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "Where do you live?"

"Maggie's Key," Pardin said.

"You slur it like all the other stupid peasants, son. The village name is Magic Keep and we were the last keep of magic on this side of the mountains before it seeped back through the tunnel. Magic Keep. Why else do you think there were orcs here? They're nasty, ugly buggers who smell like shit. They fight like berserkers and carry more knowledge in their twisted brains than the whole of humankind. Their secret is that they live for magic and lust only for magic.

"Yoko Bono impregnated our ancestor for magic. His seed isn't the only thing he left behind though and this is what has got me worried."

"What did he leave?" Pardin asked, intrigued by the mystery but still trying to figure out how to shove an entire fist up a woman's butt.

"Dragon balls," she said. "He cut 'em off and left them right in the middle of the keep. The walls are long gone but the balls are still there."

"Ew, you mean the two big boulders in the middle of the village weren't left by the emperor's siege engines? I've been climbing and playing on dragon balls since I was a little kid?" Pardin was crushed. "Those are huge balls."

"You brought an elf, trolls and fairies back with you, Pardin," his mother said. "Those dragon balls are for humans."

"We've got 300 dwarves somewhere behind us," Pardin said. "They're coming too."

His mother leaned against the back leg of the dragon. "Three hundred dwarves should have Hinderblast shitting in his pants but our problem is dragon balls. We need to secure their power today while we have only a few magic folk around. The orc sword could be the key."

"Ma," Pardin said, "the only consistent key to the magic is Adray and I having sex. When we, uh..."

"Stuff the turkey?" his mother suggested. "Plug the pig?"

"When we fuck, magic happens," Pardin said. "Even with the sword in my hand, we awakened Anorexia only when we fucked. Are you proposing that we fuck in front of the entire village this morning?"

"I've seen worse and that wife of yours can really go the distance," his mother said with a yawn. "We need to grab the dragon by the balls – today."

"No, we need to grab the balls by the dragon," Pardin said, wondering when his mother became so dramatic. "Let's get some real breakfast and afterward we'll go check out the boulders."