Chapter 15

"We could name her 'Fluffy, '" Pardin said. He was lying naked on a troll's rug while his newly washed clothes dried in the sun and the morning breeze. "A nice, friendly name softens the image."

"Bloodmoor," Adray said. "A dragon needs a name the peasants will dread."

"They are already going to dread when they see a towering dragon complete with fangs," Pardin said. "We need a name that will soften her image so that the people of this land don't run away screaming in terror, something like Sunshine or Cupcake."

"I fear that you are brain dead. She needs a name that demands that the subjects bow their knees to her like Blackdread. My favorite is Gorefest but I could live with Skydevil," Adray said. She was enjoying the warmth of the sun on her bare skin. Pardin couldn't help himself and ran his hand across her belly and breasts. She purred in response.

A moment later Adray had crawled on top of her husband was trying to vacuum out his lungs. Pardin was beginning to feel a mighty stir below when the sound of a troll clearing his throat killed the mood. Adray rolled off his chest with a whiff of annoyance, while Pardin did his best to wipe the spit off of his lips.

"Yes, Shmor and Skor, something on your mind?" Pardin said as he sat up.

"Husband," Skor said, "Their continuing lust in light of the momentus events surrounding us this day only confirms the adage that 'the angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant.' Blessed be the power of those who can still add to the magic though the needs of the moment are pressing."

Adray rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Have you taken a close look at the markings on your dragon," Shmor said. "This is no ordinary dragon that you have summoned. She is a princess just as Princess Adray is one. The permutations of this discovery will resound throughout the magical world. Dragons are rare enough, but to have one from the line of royalty emerge is beyond compare in our day, blessed be the power."

"Great. Just what I need in my life," Pardin said. "Another prima donna, uh, blessed be the power." He did not duck fast enough to dodge the hand slap across the top of his head.

"I couldn't help overhearing your conversation and I am sorry to interrupt," Shmor said. "The names you have suggested so far are highly inappropriate for a high born dragon. May I suggest you find a name that connotes history, power and majesty?"

Pardin was struggling with the "connote" word but he was not going to admit his ignorance out loud. He took a stab at the meaning. "We've got to have an old name," he guessed.

Adray stretched her arms and arched her back with a yawn, catching Pardin's attention. Pardin found her posture seductive and could not stop staring. Shmor's finger on his head broke his concentration and he turned back to the conversation.

"The only ancient name I know who was a king is 'Elvis' but he spent his days eating bacon and died young according to the nursery rhyme," Pardin said. "I don't think that one will do."

"The Elvis name hallows the halls of musical legend but it cannot pass for royalty," Shmor said. "Names of great strength and endurance like Fairborn or Acme, Ikea or Walmart."

"Both of you are dolts," Adray said. "If you want a princess name, you ask a princess. Now, there is an ancient name that begins with Anna and the rest of it has king in it but it isn't king in the common tongue. The name isn't Annaking, Annakin or anything like that. The name is one of those old, stupid languages that teachers always babble about."

"Hari?" Shmor said. "Wang?"

"Hairy wang?" Pardin said, scratching his head with confusion.

"Close," Adray said with a finger tapping her temple. "It starts with an 'r'; of that I'm certain. Ah, Rex, which means "queen" must be Rexia"

Shmor nodded his head. "Rex is an ancient of ancient name of a king. I suppose that ee-ah at the end could be the female form."

"Of course it is," Adray said. "Her name shall be Anarexia, Queen Anna for those peasants who don't know ancient history."

"No, no," Shmor said. "Anna is elfish in format. Dragon forms are different and the 'ah' sound at the end of the name usually signifies a curse. Does not the orcan sword originally belong to one Ranga Tanga, a doubly cursed, dead orc. The 'oh' sound means blessing. Her name should be Ano instead of Ana."

Pardin scratched his head as he tried to follow the conversation. "We are going to call her Anorexia, right? Doesn't that name mean something else?"

"Pssh," Adray said. "If Anorexia means something in human slang, then it's inconsequential. It's a pity we can't name her Princess Gorefest but royal obligations must be fulfilled."