Chapter 8: The Nature of the Beast

The School – Philippines

I am well into the fifth month of my pregnancy. Clearly there will be no abortion. I am really beginning to show big time now and my sexual passion is lessening a bit. I am told that soon I will lose all passion until after the baby is born.

I was escorted here by one of the families who then pretty much dumped me at the school and on Jake. I have met Jun, Rose, Joy, Abbey, Mitch, Anabel, Rosemarie, Cherise, Jana and so many others. Before I was allowed to meet the students and their mothers, I had to agree not to mention I have met with the graduates. I gather that such information is too distracting for them. I have initially sat in on the classes for the daughters and the mothers. I have been staying in the dormitory and observing the mothers. They are indeed a mixed group. Some can cook, others are learning. Cleaning everything everyday is a mantra. I gather that some of these women did not come from homes where that was done and it is inculcated into them now. I arrived here toward the beginning of the school year and it was clear that some of the women know just about nothing when it comes to sex and none had any girl-girl contact in their lives. There appears to be a general Filipino cultural bias against girl-girl sex and bisexuality is unheard of. I find this fascinating as such issues never surfaced with the graduates and it is not the case with Jake's women in the big house across the way from the dorm.

The women know the rudiments about female hygiene, but the church discourages additional information. The government has health programs to provide information, but the church officials discourage the women from going. While the Catholic Church is very strong here, there is a national Catholic (Episcopal associated church) and other protestant denominations such as Baptist and Seventh Day Adventists as well as a strong LDS (Morman) presence. I gather the Jun's school is secular and that Sunday is given off to attend church (which makes it hard for the Seventh Day Adventists, but Jun says that is just tough). They need six days a week to teach and that is that.

I am seeing the women and the daughters much as they must be at the beginning of every school year. They are what you would expect from a poor Catholic country. It's a place where divorce is not permitted and annulments are hard to get and just about impossible for the very poor. It's a place where sexual identity is forced through very narrow channels and the results are gays who look and act as "girly-boys" and sublimated lesbians. Mistresses are legion, both respected and reviled in a bizarre dance of denial. Official corruption is rampant, education is not free, unemployment is the norm and twenty-five percent of all Filipinos work abroad.

These mothers have some English, but it is limited and not very good. The daughters have far better English and are actually now part of the teaching cadre for the mothers as they are forced by the rules to speak only English. (I learn this is not a rule in Jake's home. It is only a rule in the dormitory because these women need to assimilate to life in the USA.)

These women also do not dress or care for themselves as do the women I met in the USA. They do OK, but it is just not the same. There are far more flip-flops here. In the US, the women took pains to wear elevated heels of some type. Here the bras are just bras for most of the women. A few wear push-ups, but in the USA, all Jake's women use the push-ups. Many of these women are leaving the grounds on Sunday for church. The women in the USA claimed religious affiliation, but none attend services.

Use of make-up is different here. All use nail polish, but the choices and colors are different. The daughters here are not sexualized at this time. They are all remarkably pretty as are the mothers – especially so when compared to the general population.

I begin teaching advanced English to the daughters. Jun's English is fine. She tells me that Jake advises her of any, and every mistake, she might make. I ask her if she finds that infuriating. She looks at me in wonder ... she tells me she demanded it from Jake. He didn't want to do it. She tells me they had a fight about that. How could she teach these girls if she was not getting corrected when she made a mistake? Jake agreed, finally, and her English is, possibly as a result of that, quite good. My presence here simply relieves her of a few classes so that she can attend to other pressing matters. Because I am also staying in the dorms, the mothers are coming to me to explain issues with English.

I am concerned with the issue of coercion that I think is bubbling under the surface. With Jake and Jun's permission, I am conducting interviews and asking about the issue without 'naming' it coercion as far as the mothers and daughters are concerned. When it comes to Jake and his 'family', I am far less cautious in my technique. To my great surprise, Jake tells me that he welcomes the discussion and urges me to pursue it within his household quite freely.

Jake agrees to sit down for an interview which turns into two interviews. He is seventy-one at present. I was expecting a decrepit old man. While he is clearly not young, he weighs a trim 145, is attractive and has a sweet smile. I was expecting a 'salesman', a con artist. He is not that at all. He is thoughtful, reasonably well read, articulate, conflicted and seemingly a decent guy, who is completely aware of the paradox of what he is doing to these women to give them a future.

Jake

You ask about coercion. It is an important question. But it cannot be answered without context. And the context is the Philippines. It is not this school. You are wrinkling your brow. I want to resolve that before we go further. I had Abbey compile a list of all the dating/marriage/hookup sites that exist today, and are used by Filipina women to find a foreign spouse. Here it is. [*attachment A] As you will see when you check these sites there are thousands of Filipinas seeking men. While all claim to be good simple girls, some are surely con artists, and so I accept that the real number is a bit lower than the number listed and some are duplicative between lists. [Never the less there are many tens of thousands of women I found on the lists.] Those women are in great number just what they say, but it's a buyer's market and these women are desperate. That's where the coercion comes from, not me and not here. If we weren't competing in such an imbalanced market I would be one very happy guy. I would also not have the household of women I have now. And if you think I asked for all these women, you would be wrong.