Chapter 1: Please, I Need To Cum

(I have been forced to write this account by my boyfriend. Over the past few months I have been a bitch to him, caused him grief and embarrassed him in front of his friends. I love him and do not want to lose him and he has agreed to help me control my bad habits. This task of writing about us is part of my promise to him to be a better woman for him. If he and you are satisfied that I have been truthful he will let me cum. I haven't been alone or permitted to cum for weeks now, I really do want to cum for him and please him. This account is the truth and I hope and pray he and you will agree and I can cum for him – Marie)

I met Kevin in October of 2010 and we seemed to hit if off, although no one who knew of us then or now can understand why. Kevin is 30 years my senior, has thinning hair with a fair bit of gray mixed in. He stands six foot four and remains in fit condition, slim without that middle age gut that a lot of men his age and younger have. He's from the States and met me while touring the UK. He is healthy and vibrant but most of all he can make me laugh in addition to making me wet, even when I haven't been in that mood. He is a nice honest and loving man.

I am twenty-seven years of age. I stand five foot seven in bare feet and sport a thirty-eight inch bust, a slim twenty-four inch waist and very attractive (just ask Kevin) thirty-four inch hips. My hair is long enough to cover my shoulders and I am attractive enough to model part time. Yes, I have posed in various states of undress and bared my body in my work too. I am now self-employed running a clothing shop and perhaps my need to manage that shop is the root of the bitch in me.

As I said, I met Kevin as he was touring the UK he'd been browsing the shops and had come into mine. It was a bit slow at the time and he and I struck up a conversation. There was never one word or phrase that I can point to but when he shook my hand I felt a pulse or a surge of energy pass through us. We were both startled by it and as it seemed Kevin was ready to resume his wandering I blurted out.

"I close soon, would you mind joining me for a drink?"

Something inside me wanted to know this man and he agreed saying.

"I would love to join you Marie, I'm afraid I do not drink, but I am always happy to be with such an attractive woman and most places serve water too."

I smiled at his honesty and I love being complimented and decided that another hour wasn't going to bring me any business so I shut the shop and went and had a drink. We found conversation so easy that the drink became dinner, then desert and by the time we both knew it was late I again blurted out.

"If you're still in town tomorrow, I'd really enjoy being a tour guide for you."

"What about the shop?"

"That's what employees are for Kevin, please? I've enjoyed our conversation and something about you is so irrestable I want to see a bit more of you."

"Ah missing your grandfather a bit?"

Kevin laughed at his line and I did to then said.

"It's not that and its nothing I can explain but I do like being with you, you make everything so easy. I feel so relaxed and I want to show you my town."

He said ok and we agreed I'd meet him in his hotel lobby in the morning. Every time our hands touched that same spark or surge startled us and we soon came to expect and enjoy it. That next day over lunch we talked about it but just assumed it was some strange static electricity and nothing more. Yet it persisted and even occurred if our shoulders touched in the car, or his leg brushed against mine as we walked. At the end of that day we dined again and I was looking for a reason to see him the next day too. Kevin said.

"Marie this has been wonderful and I appreciate that a young beautiful woman would take time out of her life to make my time here so enjoyable. I must imagine your boyfriend is waiting, I know your shop is."

"I've no boyfriend right now Kevin. In some ways I think I scare them off. In other ways they are jealous of some of my modeling jobs, don't see that showing my naked tits to a camera is anything more then cheating them. Ops sorry about the language."

I turned red but Kevin didn't seem at all upset he said.

"I recall a few very attractive women in my youth who often complained that the men they felt would approach them never did and felt that their looks were a disadvantage that a lot of men considered them unapproachable. As for the modeling bit, at your age I might have also been a bit jealous but at my age I see the distinction and realize what dolts those men are."

I smiled again and thought about how even tempered and considerate this man was and knew I wanted to see more of him.

"So I can find some time if you're willing to hang out here. I've got some work to do but I will have some time too, if you'd consider spending it with your granddaughter?"

I saw Kevin start to laugh as I chuckled. I had hoped throwing his age comment back at him would find his humor and I was right.

"I've got to make a short trip that I can't avoid, but I can be back in a day or so, and yes, I would love it if my granddaughter would find time to be with an old man."

Well Kevin, I can't bring your granddaughter here but I would love it if you'd come back and spend some time with me."

And so that's how it began. When Kevin came back two days later and entered the shop I ran to him and hugged him hard, receiving the same hug back from him. That charge was still there perhaps even more noticeable from his absence. I held on to his hand and said over my shoulder.

"Karen, I'm off. I'd be so happy if you'd look after the place for a few days, I've a gentleman here I want to spend some time with."

"Off with you then Marie, you know I'll watch this shop and keep things in order."

That night I seduced Kevin after cooking him dinner. I say I seduced him, but it may have been the other way around. It happened so naturally, no hesitation on either of our parts and it started with a simple kiss as Kevin helped me clean the kitchen. It ended with his cock shrinking in my pussy and his lips softly kissing my nipples and I held him tight and enjoyed the feel of his cum oozing from my slit.

That electricity or surge between us was ever present and earlier as we explored each other's bodies I felt it and could feel Kevin react to it as well. If made me feel as if this man was meant for me, it never slowed me but instead if fired my desire and judging by Kevin's actions it fired him up too. When he entered me it felt like his cock was a lightning rod piercing my pussy. Even after laying in the aftermath of my orgasm I could feel that power radiating out of him, and I assume that Kevin felt it too.

We stayed in bed for three days before Kevin finally said.

"You'll kill me for sure Marie if we don't take a bit of a break here. Don't get me wrong, I want you again, but perhaps a bit of a walk, some lunch?"

I laughed and nodded my tits bouncing as I did. We took a shower together then dressed and went out for the day. By the time we'd eaten and did a little shopping for dinner, we were in a hurry to return to my home. We made dinner at 3 in the morning as we immediately stripped one another and found all sorts of places in my house to fuck. The kitchen counter was first, but the couch in the living room was more comfortable and the backyard so exciting. As the days passed and we grew closer we started a spending more time out and that's when the bitch began to appear.

It was small things at first, seemingly just jokes about Kevin's age. But it soon took on its own life and after a few months it became routine for me to laugh at him, embarrass him in public and often just ignore him when with a group of friends at the pub. I complained that he didn't drink, I complained that he was going bald, intimated he was just OK in bed. Even the concerned looks on my friend's faces didn't stop me. Looking back on it I thought at first it was my own fear of loving a man who might leave me too soon. Then I was sure if it was a defense mechanism letting my friends know it wasn't serious, that I was mercy fucking him. Over the past two weeks I've come to learn that I was in truth asking Kevin for something I was never sure I really wanted.

On that night two weeks ago, the night when it all began to change, Kevin and I had been at the local pub. Although he didn't drink he enjoyed the atmosphere and my friends at least until that bitch I became started her act. That night I was enjoying perhaps too much drink, but it wasn't the drink, I think I know that now. I laid into Kevin in front of the whole pub, insulting him pretending to be funny, but everyone knew I was being an ass. I never gave Kevin's feelings a second thought and as I look back on it now I know I crossed some very big lines. Surprisingly Kevin took it all in, he smiled pretending, I'm sure, that his Marie was just being funny. At closing time Kevin and I walked back to my place and once inside I reached for him, wanting to hug him as was our routine, then to bed for some sex or just close body contact.

I was a bit surprised, though I shouldn't have been when Kevin pushed me away and asked.

"What is it you're doing Marie? Is this how you get rid of the lovers in your life? Are you afraid of anyone staying close to you?

"What? What's the problem Kevin?"

"The problem my dear is that for sometime now you've become what can only best be called a bitch. You insult me, make jokes about me and treat me like shit whenever we go out. Tonight, I've had it, you were as bad as you could be. as mean and hateful as you could and then we step through the door and the bitch seems to be gone. So tell me do you want me out of here? Should I pack up and go?

"Kevin, I love you. I want you with me. I didn't realize..."

"Bullshit Marie. Be honest with yourself and with me, I'm a grown up I can handle it. If your tired of me just say so and I will go, no scenes no problems."

"No Kevin please no!"

Kevin just stared at me and after too long an interval of complete quiet between us I started to say.

"Kevin I..."

He just turned from me and went to the dining room. He returned with a chair from the table and sat it in the middle of the living room. Then he sat down and waved me to him. I moved to his side and stood waiting, somehow knowing that the mouth that had gotten me here would be of no help. Then in a flash I found my body being pulled and I ended up across Kevin's lap and before I could move or say anything his hand held me down firmly and his other had flipped my skirt up over my hips, exposing my panty covered ass. Then his hand came down with sufficient force to sound like a thunderclap as it met my panty covered ass. The sting of his slap made me cry out.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Repeating the movement his hand spanked me over and over as I wriggled to free myself. He must have hit me a with at least a dozen or more strokes to each ass cheek, and the area not covered by the thin lacey panties was throbbing and I was sure deeply imprinted with his hand. Just as I began to feel the need to stop this he stood and I fell to the floor. I sat on my ass and the rub of the carpet made me wince and I tried to stand. I looked up at Kevin ready to scream at him and tell him to get out when he said, very calmly.

"I'll be at the hotel I stayed in when we met. If you want me, truly want me then you will come to me and beg me to take you back, beg me to control your attitude, beg me to do what ever I need to stop you from being the bitch you've adopted."

Then he simply left. I was stunned and sore, mad and indignant that any one would do to me what Kevin had just done and I would be damned if I would ever move even an inch to see him, let alone talk to him. Beg him? No fucking way.

I made sure the locks were set not wanting him back then took a shower. The shower and the spanking had sobered me up and I turned to look at my ass when I left the shower. Except for where the panties had been my ass was beet red, showing the partial imprint of Kevin's big hands. I went to bed, naked but could not sleep. As I thought about what had transpired that night I began to forgive Kevin. The longer I thought about it and realized how serious he must have been to do this to me I started to worry that he would really leave me. All of my life I'd been the one to leave, I was the pretty one, no one would leave me. They all wanted me so much that they would never ever leave of their own accord.

Still feeling the places that Kevin's hand had spanked my ass I was uncomfortable in my own bed and assumed it was the heat of my ass, but I soon realized it was the fear that I might lose this wonderful man. I don't know how long it took me to get to that point but when I got there I got up and dressed. I put on the clothes I'd worn that night but that panties were soaked and when I pulled them to my face all I could smell was the aroma of my own sex. Had I been this wet from the spanking? I tossed them in the laundry pile and elected to not wear panties. I looked at my bra, a nice lacey one with a half-cup that pushed my tits up and out and elected to abandon that too. Just the skirt and blouse and a pair of flat shoes, I would be the simple woman, not the pretty one.

The walk to Kevin's hotel seemed to take forever, mainly because I started and stopped so often. I wanted to say the right things, to recall what Kevin had demanded of me, I did not want to make another mess. I finally reached the hotel and was handed a note when I'd asked for Kevin's room number. Opening it I saw just the room number and the instructions to knock only once and to wait. In the elevator I wanted to turn around and go home, I was so afraid of Kevin rejecting me. I pondered the words I would use, changed them for the hundredth time since leaving my house and changed them again as the elevator stopped and I stepped out. I walked slowly down the dimly lit hall towards his room and found myself praying that I had not lost my chance. I stopped at his door and stared for a long while before I rapped just the once. The wait seemed like an eternity but I am sure it was only a minute or two. When the door opened I started to cry, I had not planned on it, but it just happened and I tried to stop, tried to say how sorry I was but nothing came but tears. Kevin stood mute and let me drain my tears and waited for me to speak.

Finally, I found my voice and said slowly and clearly.

"Kevin, I do love you and I apologize for the bitch I have become. I do beg you to give me one more opportunity. I beg you to punish me if that is what it will take, to humiliate me, to use me and make me understand how selfish and stupid I am."

Then I shut up and stared down at the carpeting, recalling how my ass reacted just a few hours ago after my spanking. I felt the shame of it all again as I waited for Kevin to say something, anything.

"Leave your clothes in the hall. Knock when you're naked."

Then the door closed and I stood there, my fingers already touching the buttons of my blouse but not yet ready to perform the task they needed to do. To strip naked in this hallway, exposed to anyone who might step from their room to go for ice, or for the elevator to drop off another guest. I was frozen in fear, caught between the man I loved and needed and my own discomfort. I know I've posed in the nude, professionally, walked naked on beaches designed for people who wanted to do that, but I'd never been naked someplace public.

My desire for Kevin overruled my fear and my fingers made short work of the blouse and then my skirt. I kicked off my shoes and left the clothes and shoes in a messy pile near the door then rapped once more on Kevin's door. I felt my pussy dampen as the realization of my nudity in this public place took root in my mind. By the time Kevin had opened the door those juices my pussy produced had oozed down my thighs and I could smell my sex.

"Fold the clothes Marie then you may come in."

He turned from me, leaving me in the hall with the door opened. I folded the clothes neatly and then I stepped inside his room, holding the pile against my chest waiting for instructions. I did not want to lose this man.

"If you are so intrigued, you may leave that door open Marie, but I think that some privacy would be good about now. Put your clothes in the drawer and close the door."

I did as he instructed and turned to see him sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"Have you decided why you've been acting this way Marie?"

"No! All I've decided is that I do not want to lose you, that I know I've been a bitch but never have I wanted to chase you away."

"So, do you believe that in being that way I would want to stay with you?"

"No! After tonight, after you spanked me. After you left, I felt a hole in my life an empty place in my heart that has never been there before. You may be right about my fear, and my practice of chasing men away from me. I am not willing to let you go and I am ready to do what you ask of me. I know that if you leave I will never see you again. I cannot accept that. Please Kevin, help me."

"Marie, I have seen many things in my life and can see truth when it appears. I see that for you you're words are the truth, but I think if you dig a bit deeper you may see more truth."

"You confuse me Kevin."

"I think Marie that all you've done over the past few months, the bitch you've been have all been your way of asking something of me. Tell me how you felt about the spanking?"

I took a moment to collect my thoughts and then said

"I was pissed at you, shocked that anyone would have the balls to attack me that way. I was pleased when you left and locked the doors to keep you away. I was mad and angry as I showered and unable to sleep. I hated you for what you did and believed it was the soreness in my ass that kept me awake. Eventually I knew it was the thought that you might truly leave me that kept me awake and I had to come to you. I wore no panties because they were soaked with my sex. I wore no bra because I had no desire to hide my tits from you. As I see it all now, I think that spanking made me cum, and the order to come and beg for you here, made me think of sex and of pleasing you. Does that make sense to you?"

"More then you will believe Marie. Tell me truly now, what do you expect of me now?"

I had to think about that too. I had not expected anything but to maybe get Kevin back in my life but now, now I knew just having him back would not get rid of the bitch. She'll always be there making trouble.

"Kevin, I need you to make sure that the bitch leaves me. I need you to control me so that I never accept her in my head again."

Kevin nodded and stood up. He came to me and hugged me. Then he led me to the bed and we both got on and stayed close to one another. He was dressed and I was naked but I was so happy to be in his arms again. After some time Kevin said.

"If this is what you want Marie, then I can remove that bitch from you. It will be hard for you. You will beg me often to stop, to let her back. Are you sure of what you are asking me. You want me to make you a submissive to me. You are asking me to control you, to use you as my personal servant or slave. Is this what you really want?"

I'd not used those terms with myself, not thought about the Dom/Sub relationship but as Kevin spoke the words they seemed to also come from deep in my mind. There was no surprise in some ways, though never voiced, never really considered, they'd been in my head.

"If you think I am worthy to be that Kevin. I will do what I can to be that woman you met. I want you to be pleased with me, to enjoy me. I want you in my life."

"Ok Marie, tomorrow we begin. Now sleep."

I had hoped that Kevin would want to have sex with me but understood and did my best to sleep. It wasn't easy being naked and next to this man who had been giving me orgasms and fucking me for the past few months. I don't really think I slept all that much and when there was a knock on the door Kevin told me to open it. I looked for a robe or something but Kevin said