Chapter 1

"Mr. Ralph Burnam, my name is Ruthie Richards. Your wife and I share an apartment here in the city. The police were just here and they informed me that your wife has been in an auto accident. I'm sorry to say, she has not survived. It saddens me to be the bearer of this news. I'm sure the police will contact you shortly. I did give them your name as her husband."

I could hear the woman sobbing. "Thank you. You of course are aware that Nan and I were estranged, so I really appreciate you calling me. I suppose it is up to me to make arrangements. May I have your address? It has been a year or more since I knew exactly where she has been living. You must have had feelings for her, because I can hear you weeping."

"Yes, I cared for her greatly. She was just about everything to me. I will look forward to having you visit me here at my apartment. Nan has told me so much about you that I feel I know you already. She still loved you and spoke of you almost every day, you know. She just couldn't face coming home to you. I think her death is the saddest thing of all and I feel that someday she would have come back to you. Too bad now isn't it? I'm really truly sorry."

Nan Burnam, originally Nan Bridges, had been once full of fun and life. Now I suppose her body was cold, broken, and headed for a hole in the ground. I would bring her home to rest with my ancestors--and me when it came my time.

I thought back over our life together. I met Nan at the university at during a frat party. At that time, I was quite the party animal myself. I saw her come in with one of the seniors and she looked scared to pieces. Her date went off, I went up to her and asked her name, and could I get her a drink. I looked across the room and could see her date had corralled one of his old girlfriends. "You know, you are on your own here now. Jim just brought you here for meat so-to-speak. When someone like you comes in, someone like me will get next to you, get you drunk and that's all she wrote."

"Is that what you are going to do? If you are, why did you tell me that's what was going to happen?"

"Well, I thought I would warn you and if you didn't run then I'd have you for myself. Right at the present I don't have a date, and you are kind of cute in a pixie sort of way."

"You're kind of a funny guy. Why don't you get me a drink and I will be your date for the evening. I see Jim just went upstairs so it looks as if I'm free."

For some reason I felt protective of her and I made sure that she did not go upstairs alone. It paid off, for I took her back to the apartment she was sharing and ended up spending the night with her in her own bed. We dated off and on the rest of the year. She questioned about what really went on in the upper story of the frat house. I said that she did not want to know, for it got pretty rough on the girls.

I graduated and went back to my hometown where I had a job waiting for me. I had hooked up with an accounting firm and was working my ass off. Being a newbie definitely had its drawbacks. College was only a couple hours away and I occasionally made the trip to see Nan. I guess it was the middle of her last semester when I made the trip that was the most upsetting. I didn't get to Nan's apartment until eight on a Sunday morning.

I knocked on her door and one of her roommates said she hadn't got in from a party last night. I just said I would wait. I sat looking out the upstairs window where I could see her arrive. I recognized what everyone called a "frat car" pull up and Nan was more or less dumped on the sidewalk. She was upright but had to lean on the side of the building. The two boys that hauled her out of the car did a "high five" and took off leaving Nan trying to collect herself.

I went down to her. God what a mess she was. She only had a dress on and that was on backwards. You could tell her underwear was also missing. She acted more worn out, I think, than drunk. If she had been drunk, she couldn't have been in any worse shape. I helped her up the stairs and into the shower. I did not try to wash her. I just turned the shower on and sat her under it to rinse off. Up until now, she had not said a word.

She explained where she had been. "Ralph, I know what they do upstairs at a frat party now. It wasn't too bad at first, but it went on for hours." I started soaping her and then I washed her. I made one of her roomies help get her a douche. I put her to bed and went along north towards home. What bothered me the most was that she never said she had any regrets about what she went through. To most women that had experienced this, it would be an intolerable ordeal. I wondered if Nan had found it so.

Nan graduated that spring and I had a note that said she was returning to her home out in Kansas somewhere. I put her out of my mind. I was beginning to enjoy my job. The firm I was employed with hired a new crop of newbies. I took up golf and went out on the occasional date. Dad passed away and Mom wanted me to move back into the home place. Mom was a relatively young woman at fifty-nine. A year later, she was attracted to a man somewhat older than she was. He had just retired from his own business. He and Mom thought they would try Colorado, so they took off right after they were married.

I was into my job about five years and living alone. Mom had given me a deed to the home place when she left. The only stipulation was that she could have a room rent-free if she ever needed it. A quiet and unassuming widower she had married was well to do, and said he would buy Mom any place anywhere she wanted.

I came out of the office one day in the middle of August. I was just about to get into my car when, "Ralph, buy a girl a beer?" Nan stood there smiling at me.

"Sure, hop in." That started our courtship. Nan got a job in the same firm I worked at, doing secretarial work. She moved in with me and we proceeded trying to wear out my bed. We made a good couple and Nan even took up golf. One day after she had been with me six months, we decided that we should be married.

Married life was great for me and it seemed like it was for Nan. We slowly made friends with other couples our age. One couple was a little more liberal in their actions than I was wont to be. They flirted and were always making off-color jokes and even sometimes playing grab-ass with each other. When they became more familiar, they treated us in the same way.

Bob was a big person standing five inches over my five-foot eleven. Peggy was big and buxom, always rubbing her breasts up against me. It affected me some--I couldn't help it. The girls were always talking about us guys and the size of our equipment. Peggy kept telling my wife how well endowed Bob was.

Nan started in wanting to role-play about me screwing Peggy and her taking on Bob. I listened and kept looking at those massive boobs, finally deciding that maybe they would be fun to play with. Nan was small, only five foot-two and with a size thirty-two bust. This was just right for her frame and with her pixie face and cute little butt; she was the center of attention when we went out. Not only that, she had a little, lilting laugh that just got to anyone that heard it.

One Friday night, Peggy came over to my house and Nan went over to stay with Bob. I had the worst attack of jealousy when Nan went out the door, but Peggy was already here and her hands were all over me. It didn't go well with me after the first session. Peggy kept a running commentary on how much Nan was going to enjoy Bob's massive cock. I finally told her to shut up. I did not want to hear anymore about it.

Maybe it was the difference between my wife's little petite body and Peggy's massive tits and big butt. I was just turned off, for there was not a firm place on her body anywhere. I couldn't wait for Peggy to leave at daylight, but Nan did not come home until nearly noon. I took it that Bob was capable of taking care of both his wife and mine.

I didn't have much to say for several days, but one day Nan said she was sorry I didn't enjoy our swapping experience. She had a good time, but if I did not, then she would not think about doing it anymore. We then dropped Peggy and Bob from our circle of friends. I brought up the subject of having children. We had never talked about it before this and I just assumed that someday we would have at least one, maybe even two kids. No way and Nan was so emphatic I never brought up the subject again.

Things went along pretty well after that for us. We never had many disagreements or if we did, we worked them out. One day in October, Nan said that some of her friends wanted to go shopping in Boston right after Thanksgiving. She wanted to know if it was all right for her to go with them. I said sure go ahead.

We had a nice Thanksgiving. Mom came out for the holiday and wanted us to fly out for Christmas. This was a surprise because Mom and Nan had never really hit it off. Of course, they rarely saw each other so it did not matter much. Nan and her friends were headed to Boston for a three-day weekend, and the excitement in her was building. All Nan could talk about were the shows they were planning to see. I came to almost wish, I were going with them.

I gave it no more thought, glad for her to see the city lights again. It was black powder hunting season and I shot my deer on the Saturday morning opening day. Sunday afternoon a car pulled up and Nan got out. I looked to see who was driving. It was Bob. He didn't look at me when he opened the trunk and handed me Nan's bag. He acted pissed. Nan just said, 'hi' to me and went in the house.

I waited until she took her coat off before I said, "Okay, tell me about it."

"Ralph, don't be mad. Honest, I didn't know Peggy and Bob were going. I thought it was just Mary, Kim, Joan and me. I didn't even know Kim knew Peggy and Bob."

"Did Bob get to fuck you again?"

"No."

"Come on Nan, do you expect me to believe you?"

"Ralph, he didn't honest. I went to a club, that's all."

"What sort of a club?" Nan would not look at me while debating in her mind how much to tell me.

Then her head came up and she looked defiantly at me. "It was a sort of swing club, if you must know, and I got fucked by about ten men. Bob wasn't one of them, so I didn't lie."

"Did you use protection?"

Nan's face got red. "I think so. I don't know for sure. You don't think about things like that when you are on a sexual high like I was."

"I guess you know that I want you checked out for any STDs before we have sex again. You can kill yourself if you want to, but I'll be damned if you are going to kill me." I turned and walked into the other room. Nan followed me.

"We might as well get this settled once and for all. Ralph, I love you with everything in my being. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Saying that, I have to tell you that sometimes you aren't enough. I may be a nympho, I don't know. Do you remember that time you came down to school and found me coming home from the frat party? I loved that and I still dream about what happened to me that night. The only thing bad about it was that they were boys and used me way too rough. They pulled on my breasts and forced me to do other things that I do not like and never will.

"This weekend I was with men. I was still an object, but they were very careful not to hurt or injure me. That is a big difference. Where I was, the men are a closed group. Bob couldn't even get in. Peggy was invited, but she could not prove she was clean so she couldn't either. You probably don't want to hear this, but one of my old college friends was waiting for me. She called me a month ago so that is why I was prepared. I have anticipated this so much that when I walked in, I was already hot and I did not even need any foreplay.

"I was one of three women there. Friday night there were seven men. Saturday night there were five more, but two that were there Friday were not present. Being new, I was the one that got the most attention. Unbelievably, I started out with a three-hour orgasm and then rested and watched for a while, which was a major high for me in itself.

"I went back for more after two hours and that was every bit as good as the first time. I slept most of Saturday and last night I did not last as long for I am terribly sore. I couldn't take a man into me right now if my life depended on it. So now you know all about your sluttish wife."

"Are you going back again?"

"No I don't think so. I have had what I wanted and I'm really sorry I had to sneak around to get it. I love you. I'm hoping you will forgive me and not leave me or send me away."

"I suppose there are regular meetings held quite often by these men?"

"Yes, there is one planned for New Years and at various times throughout the year. I told them I wouldn't be able to attend again."

"Nan, how could you hurt me like this? I love you and what you are doing breaks my heart. I may be a fool, but I'll say you can stay this time, but only if you don't do it again."

"I love you so much and the way you understand and forgive me. I'll try to be good and I promise I won't do this again." I wondered. At least Nan did have good intentions, anyway. Whether she could keep her promise, remained to be seen.

We settled in to wait for the holidays. I was concerned that Nan might leave for Boston and the New Year's bash she had been invited to. I put it aside, we did have a wonderful Christmas, and I breathed a sigh of relief when the New Year came in and Nan was still with me. We were back to bed after she showed me the lab results that I had made a condition of us resuming as man and wife.

"Ralph, can I talk to you?" This was the first of February. "I had a call from Boston today. The group wants me to come down for Valentine's Day." This statement sent a chill through me.

"Sure, go ahead but you know what will happen and what my answer to your question is going to be."

"Ralph, listen to me. One of the other women in the group is actually escorted to the parties by her husband. Couldn't you do something like that for me? You and I swapped with Bob and Peggy that time. You were okay with that. I am sure they would let you into the group. If you didn't want to, you could stay in a hotel or something."

"Look Nan, you are going to have to pick either me or your compulsive lifestyle. I just can't accept having you go off every few weeks or months and do what you do. You have to decide. Personally, I think you are sick to even think about it. I will get you some help if you want. In fact I insist on it."

"Okay I'll forget it and I'll think about the help. I'm sorry I brought it up. I think I can handle it all right. It would be just so nice though, if you could see how I feel."

"I think I know already."

The thirteenth of February there was a note propped on the kitchen table when I got home from work. I'm sorry Ralph, I didn't have enough will power to resist. Don't worry about me. I love you. You did your best so don't beat yourself up over this. If I ever decide to return, it will be permanent. Until then, love and kisses, Nan.

Saddened I went on with my life and tried to put things back together. I had three good years with her anyway, discounting the few times she was a disappointment.

In June, I received an anonymous letter: Dear Mr. Burnam. I am sure you have been concerned about your wife who has left you because you could not or would not condone her addiction. At present, she is staying with two of the members of our group. I say staying--she has her own quarters and sleeping with neither one. She is currently employed and earns her own living. She lives just as many a single person in our city is doing. The difference of course, is she has an addiction that she has to address at times and needs to fill periodically. We do watch out for the health and welfare of those who are with us and those we have been interested in joining us. None has ever come to harm at our hands. You may feel we are using your wife for our own ends and I suppose we are. You must remember though, that she is using us as well to fulfill her own needs. These, the needs she is not able to escape from. Rest assured if she decides to return to you and she does, we would welcome it without reservation. In no way have we ever coerced Nan to stay against her will. I hope this will put your mind at ease, until such time as she makes up her mind regarding her association with you, her husband. Many times we have heard her express her great love for you.