Chapter 1

John loved 'Championship Manager.', the soccer management computer game that seeming consumed his life. After ten virtual years he'd finally landed the England job and was now just forty-five virtual minutes away from lifting the World Cup. When phone rang his little sister answered it.

"John," she shouted up the stairs a few seconds later. "It's for you."

John wheeled his chair over to the phone and picked up the receiver just as Brazil netted an equalising goal.

"Damn!"

"Well that's a nice greeting," said a familiar voice, although not the one he was expecting. This was a voice from his past.

"Huh ... Hi," he stammered. "I didn't expect to ever hear from you again."

"I know. I've been meaning to phone you for a couple of months, but just didn't have the guts. Then I figured, 'what the hell.' I picked up and dialled."

"How are you?" John asked.

"I'm fine. I've got a job, at last. At the hospital."

"Great. Doing what?"

"Haematology. I'm analysing blood samples, stuff like that."

"Oh, that's want you wanted to do wasn't it?"

"Nearly. In a few years, I might have the chance to move into genetic analysis. But for now, this is fine."

"I'm pleased for you." Despite how unceremonious the break up had been, John still cared for Rachel. He was happy that she was doing something she enjoyed.

"What about you?" Rachel asked.

"I lost my job a couple of months ago. Down-sizing. Last in, first out."

"I'm so sorry. Having any luck finding another?"

"Not yet. I've applied all over the place, but it seems that there's always someone more experienced, or cheaper."

"My god. What are you gonna do?"

"Keep applying. That's all I can do. There's a course at the drop in centre on starting your own business. I thought I might take that."

"What sort of business?"

"Not sure yet. I've got a couple of ideas, nothing concrete, you know. I figure taking the course might help me decide which one of my ideas is most likely to work."

"I wish you luck. I really do."

"Thanks." John sighed. "It's great to hear from you. I can't tell you how much."

"I know. I've been meaning to call ever since I got your last letter. It's just really hard after so long."

"I know. I'm nervous now. My heart is pumping so hard it feels like it's going to break out of my chest. Shit! No! Ref, you fuck-wit!"

Brazil had been awarded a penalty in the last virtual minute. Ronaldo stepped up to score and clinch the title.

They had been getting at each other for a while. One night they had a blazing row over something John couldn't remember. Rachel moved back in with her parents and he was left on his own in an expensive flat. They saw each other off and on, but after a while John went out more with his new friends from work.

One night he went to one of the nightclubs along the sea front with his mates. He drank a staggering amount of lager, and ended up in the arms of a girl from the office. They kissed and caressed, nothing more, but John still felt guilty.

Unable to concentrate at work the next day, he arranged to meet Rachel for a drink and confessed everything. She was upset, forgave him, and then she confessed a secret of her own.

"I've been seeing someone else. It's nothing serious but you're not going to like who it is."

"Who?" A mix of curiosity, anger, hurt and apprehension swam around inside him.

"Robbie."

"What!" People at nearby tables turned to stare when John raised his voice.

"I swear it's only since I moved out. Never at University. Never."

John was devastated and the couple ended up having another row.

He called Rachel the next night, feeling guilty about the fight, only to find out that Robbie was there. In a fit of jealously, John called the girl from the office. John and Rachel saw very little of each other after that. About a year after the break up, John found a job in his hometown, and moved back in with his parents.

There was an awkward silence, broken only by a giggle from Rachel. "It's silly really isn't? Why should we be nervous?"

"I know. We knew each other better than anyone else. We got on so well together, we shouldn't be nervous. I guess it's because it's been so long."

"And when we do talk, it's just small talk. We'll be talking about the weather next."

"So is it sunny by you, or is it raining?"

"It's pissing down actually."

John knew that they were avoiding the one topic that they needed to discuss. Robbie.

"Are you still with that girl?"

"Susan? Yeah. It's been nine months now."

"Is it serious?"

"It could be. For now, we're both just glad of the company. And the sex."

"She's lucky. You were always good at sex."

"Thanks." He swallowed hard, amazed that she remembered. He thought about how she felt, and about her touch. "You weren't so bad yourself you know."

"I miss you." It came out of nowhere. John thought he heard her choke back a sob. He wasn't sure how to respond.

"You mean that?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking about you a lot recently. I miss you."

"I've missed you since we split. I hoped you felt the same, but didn't think you did. I figured that since you were with, you know, that you were happy."

"Not really. I was happiest with you. It's so good to hear your voice, that's one of the things I've missed. And your touch. Your face. Your body next to me. Nobody has ever touched me like you did."

"What about him? He must have been pretty good if you picked him over me."

"I didn't pick him over you. He was there when you weren't, that's all. Not that it matters anymore."

"Why not? You two spilt up?"

"He got a placement in London. We haven't seen each other for about three months."

"I'm sorry to hear that," John lied.

"No, you're not. I know the idea of Robbie and me freaked you out."

"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. No matter what it took."

"You always knew the right things to say. But I still don't believe you."

With the subject of Robbie out of the way John relaxed. They talked about mutual friends, and about politics, a subject on which Rachel shared his views. They discussed family, and Rachel's new niece. Rachel even brought up their once active sex life.

They had had a very healthy sex life. Both had an enormous appetite for it, and enjoyed each other almost every night. John had worried that the whole relationship was based on sex, but then something would happen, or Rachel would say something, and it reminded him that they were also best friends. They talked for nearly three-quarters of an hour.

"Will you phone me soon?" Rachel asked.

"If I can pluck up the courage, then yes."

"You can write to me as well. You always wrote such lovely letters."

"And you were always awful at replies."

"I know. I'm better on the phone."

"I miss you. I don't think I realised how much until now," said John.

"I always knew how much I missed you. I just couldn't do anything about it."

"I wish I could see you again."

"Me too. But it's not very practical is it."

"No, not really. We're too far apart. It would be nice though."

"I really should go. My mom wants the phone."

"Ok. I'll phone soon," he said. "I promise."

He hung up, but spent the rest of the night thinking about her. He wished they hadn't split up. He'd thought of Rachel as his soul mate. Until everything changed.

They had been good friends since starting university, but it wasn't until well into the third term that they became a couple. The night of the year's big event, the May Ball, Rachel and another girl were slow getting ready. John and Robbie decided to wait for them, and they ended up spending most of the evening together.

Halfway into the night, John tried his luck at the roulette table, with Rachel on his arm. He had little success, and eventually asked Rachel to choose a number. When it proved a winning selection, John turned to Rachel and kissed her in celebration. It was brief, but full of passion. When it ended, they stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, before embracing again.

From then on they were inseparable. They danced close, they sat and talked, but most of all they kissed. When the second of the evening's bands finished playing, the DJ played slow songs to wind things down. John and Rachel sat at a table on the edge of the dance floor, their lips locked together. Their tongues explored each other's mouths. John rested his hands on Rachel's slender thighs, feeling her legs through the soft material of her dress. Rachel opened up two buttons on his shirt, and slipped her hand inside to play with the thin covering of hair on his chest.

John pulled away from the kiss, "Shall we go?"

"Why?" she asked.

"If we wait 'til the end of the night there'll be a massive crush. It'll take ages just to out outside, let alone get home."

"I suppose you're right, we could beat the rush."

"We could take a long walk around campus on the way back. It looks like a nice night."

"When I went out to loo earlier, it was raining."

"Yeah, but it's stopped now. It's warm. The moon's out. It'll be really nice."

John buttoned up his shirt and retrieved his coat. They left the ball half an hour before the end.

Outside, Rachel started shivering.

"I thought you said it was warm."

"I've been known to be wrong. Here." He offered her his overcoat. "Take this, it will warm you up."

"What about you?" she asked. "Won't you be cold?"

"Rachel, I'm wearing a tux, all you've got on is a thin gown. If you take this we'll be about equal."

She smiled at him as he draped the coat over her shoulders.

They walked arm in arm, talking about nothing, and enjoying the quiet after the party. They took a longer route around the campus, looking at buildings that bustled with people during the day, now silently bathed in the moonlight. They stopped to admire the fish in the pond by the biology building, and climbed the geography tower balcony to look out over the sea. It took them nearly an hour to get home. Once there, John offered Rachel a late night drink.

He led her to his room and put on some soft music while he waited for the kettle to boil.

"Tea or Coffee?" he asked.

"Tea please. I can't stand coffee."

"That's good, 'cause I don't like coffee either, so I don't actually have any."

"Then why ask," she said, giggling.

"Just being polite."

Rachel stood in the middle of the room, with John's overcoat still draped over her shoulders. He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.