Chapter 4

I hadn't seen Andrea much for several weeks. Really, we hadn't spent much time together since the summer. I wanted to lock down my date with her at her autumn dance. So, I called her one day right after school and asked her, formally, to the dance. She told me to come over so we could discuss it.

I felt as if I could have floated over the hill to her house. Gravity disagreed, so I cut through between the Johnson's properties as always. Andrea met me outside and we sat down. I then received the dreaded 'friends' speech. There is no gentle way to break a kid's heart, but Andrea tried to be as kind as possible. I don't know what I said, but I stumbled home. I didn't visit the 'As' again for a few weeks.

That afternoon Julia immediately noticed my mood. For all of our talking, we had never been personal. I never told her I liked Andrea, nor had we talked about girls like that at all. I never knew if she had a boyfriend, I never saw any evidence of it.

It didn't take her long to sort out that I had my heart crushed. Julia said, "I can't believe that Shannon would turn you down! She's told all of her friends that she really likes you."

"Shannon?"

"You know, Shannon. Shannon Blake, she sits next to you in class."

I was perplexed. "Shannon didn't do anything to me. We only say hi to each other, outside that project last year for Mrs. Lamar."

"Oh, well she asked Ricky to tell you to invite her to the homecoming game. I guess he hasn't told you yet. Was it Caroline? No, she is always making moon eyes at you. She would have said yes."

I was in way over my head. "What? No. How do you know all this?

"Girls like to talk. You'd be surprised. Besides, I'm watching all of you from the front. If I disciplined each time I saw something, nothing would ever get done. So, who was it?"

"It was Andrea, next door."

"What happened?"

"I've liked her forever. This summer she taught me how to dance. She told me how much fun we'd have at her school's big autumn dance. Well, I asked her today. She told me she liked me as a friend but didn't want to go to the dance with me."

Now, work did not stop while we talked. I was on the clock. She shared a couple of funny high school dating experiences that helped ease the sadness a little. I started thinking about her, as a person. Why didn't she date?

I blurted out, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, none on the horizon either."

"You used to date. Why not now?"

"Well I did have a sort of boy friend through college. Our schedules were so different that we rarely had time together. Our plan was to graduate then find if we were the soul mates we thought ourselves to be. It didn't work out."

"What's a 'sort of boyfriend'?"

"Well, we met during orientation for new students. We never got any time alone, but we basically spent those days doing everything together. Later, we found that both of us were overloaded in classes. We had different majors and were on opposite ends of the campus. We had so little time free and our schedules rarely matched. Besides, my parents wanted me home every weekend. I was pretty young."

She paused for a moment then continued. "Darren was an incurable romantic. He wanted our first kiss to be right after we both said 'I do'. He decided that we should focus on our studies and see each other when we could during breaks and such. Then, when we graduated, we could focus on confirming that we were meant for each other."

I thought about that for a while. "I'm not sure that I could take seeing my gal so rarely."

Julia smacked me on the arm and said, "You forget that we were both drowning in school work. I had to do well and college was overwhelming. Besides, I felt a little like I was in a romance novel, you know, the trials of true love."

I thought a bit, then said, "OK, I'll buy that. So, what happened?"

Julia looked down, then away with a sad wistful expression. "Did you know that I was injured in a hit and run on campus?" I vaguely remembered hearing about it. "Well, I no longer can have children. Darren was gracious, but bowed out about a year ago. He wanted kids of his own too much."

Where we were working you could see through the window an old swing set in the back, probably one she had used as a child. Julia put down her sanding block, hugged herself while staring at the swings. It was obvious to even me that she was somewhere else. After several minutes she silently began to shake, then sob. I felt like a real jerk. So, Andrea had broken my heart. I still had tomorrow. Maybe I could get her back. Julia's tomorrows died in that accident.

I stepped over and wrapped my arms around her. Still hugging herself, she turned and buried her head on my chest. We were silent except her uncontrolled sobs. I couldn't find anything to say, she was immersed in her grief. I now know that silence was exactly what she needed from me. Slowly she calmed down, then pulled away. Wiping her tears, she said, "Well that only took three years to come out. Sorry that I embarrassed you."

I pulled her back into a gentle hug and said, "You didn't embarrass me."

After a few minutes Julia was back in control of her emotions. She pulled away again and said, "Anyway, I guess you now know that there are girls out there interested in you. Please don't mention to any of them what I said."