Chapter 59

I try to think out every move to minimize my risk of injury. I know it sounds like I go into things hell bent and stupid, but I actually do consider all my options almost every time. I never considered the big ugly boyfriend option, so I held ice on my cheek and eye. Those were going to be ugly, but the cuts inside my mouth were the most painful. I was pissed at my own stupidity, to mention my lack of planning to allow that jacket to bag over the stun gun holder.

I tried to drink coffee by tilting my head to keep if off the cuts, but nothing worked. Every time I thought about the pain in my mouth, I decided that I should have gone for option three and planted the damn gun on the boyfriend.

Since I was smaller, the three kicks I delivered probably made us about even. The zap with the stun gun was just a bonus point for our side. The Mustang was in the impound, the Pros from Dover had their film. I had the swollen cheek, black eye and chopped up mouth. All was right with the world. Okay all except me, I was a mess. I had been there before, so I knew a couple of stiff drinks and a hot soaking bath were in order.

I didn't have a bathtub at the moment, but I did have the bottle of Canadian Club. The bottle had been a gift from Marty. Signing that stupid contract came with a bonus. "Jen," I said into the speaker phone.

"Yes Maxine,"

"I need to soak in a hot bath and get roaring drunk. It's all your fault, so it's one of your tubs. I'll bring my own liquor."

"What the hell makes you think that there isn't enough liquor in my house to float Bob's sail boat?"

"Good point, but according to your contract, where I go the Pros go. So prepare to be invaded."

"Hell, bring that cute Lucas and we will have a party." Jen suggested.

"I don't need a party, I need to soak my ass," I replied.

"You soak, we will party," she suggested.

"Well everyone here heard you, so now you are stuck with them all. Do you want me to bring more, or will this be enough."

"I could call Helen, to see if she and Jack would like to come over." Jen was thinking out loud.

"Why?" I asked. "I'm not opposed, but why would you do that? They are not your friends?"

"No, but if Helen knows you will be here, she will stop and pick up food."

"That's pretty shitty, even for you Jen," I suggested.

"Bullshit, she has my credit card number and uses it when she does dinners for me. I'll just have her pick up the stuff and whip up a dip. Maybe she will want to do one of those cheese things she does."

"If she comes, you are going to pay her, damn it!" I insisted.

"Oh alright, hey why do you need to soak and what is my fault."

"I got my ass kicked by the wife's new boyfriend." I snapped at her.

"Oh crap, I'm so sorry. Do you want to sue his ass."

"No I want to lay in your big tub and feel sorry for myself. Then I want to drink till I either pass out, or throw up and pass out. Besides I took the only thing of any value in their lives. What more is there to get?"

"Sound like the perfect excuse for a party to me." Jen said pretty much ignoring what I had to say.

"Do it, I'll be there to start soaking in an hour. You set up the party for anytime after that."

"Can you stop for ice on the way?" Jen asked.

"You are a real piece of work. I just told you I got my ass kicked, and you want me to bring ice for the party. Fuck no, but I will have Lucas get a bag."

"Have him get two bags, you never know who all might wander in."

"Goodbye Jen, I'll be there soon."

"Good use the bathroom attached to your old apartment. It is empty now. It will be a great place for the party. Hell we can leave the door to the bath open and you can be part of it while you soak."

"Bye Jen," I said exasperated. I turned to the others. "That woman is a real trip." I laughed.

"Gwen, I guess you better ride with me. If someone has to be in the room filming me, while I climb into a bubble bath, I think I would prefer it be you,

At Jen's, I used twice the recommended amount of Mr. Bubble." It was a kid's bubble bath, but it worked better than any of the really expensive bubble makers. Gwen had me move this way and that to hide my body while I stripped. Once I slipped into the bubbles, she knew what to do to show my body, while hiding my nipples and my bush, She also didn't show the crack of my ass and I appreciated that.

Gwen and I arrived before anyone else, so I soaked and she sat on the toilet lid and interviewed me. "You know Maxine, I have seen you in a lot of situations, and you always seem calm are you really?"

"Hell no, I swing from mad as hell, to terrified almost every time the shit goes pear shaped."

"Where did you hear that expression. That is typically a British expression," Gwen asked.

"We shared an NCO club in Kabul with the Brits. I guess I did learn some things but I never did learn to appreciate warm beer."

"When you shot that Russian a few weeks ago, did it bother you a lot? It didn't seem to."

"Taking a life, or even just being responsible for someone else taking a life, is not an easy thing to live with. It's easier when the alternative, is losing your own life. In the case of the Russian, I really felt that it was kill or be killed." I let her believe that I thought he was going for a weapon at the time, as opposed to I knew he really planned to kill me. Maybe not that day, but someday. I decided to do it to him, while I had the chance. So it was easy to tell her that I did it in self defense. It was easy because I felt that I was just defending myself. So yeah I was okay with it. Of course it was part of why I needed to get stupid drunk and lay in that bubble bath until I shriveled up like a prune.