Chapter 286: Real Life Crap and Being Smuggled West

Jen had to be lied to just a little. She wanted to make reservations on a commercial airline, but I told her that the Admiral owed me a favor. He didn't of course, but I really did not want her to know that the farmers were our travel agents of record. We were scheduled to fly out Wednesday at noon on one of the company's planes. Since I could never walk through a metal detector or a body scanner.

"So, how many airlines do you have a finger in these days," I asked the empty townhouse as I made the morning coffee on Sunday.

More than you need to know about. There will be a small prop jet passing through your area on Monday. He will make a quick stop for you and your friend. I do mean a quick stop. It's a stol so be at the Aster general aviation airport at noon. That is not the same as the Tryon International, the voice in my head informed me.

"Can do boss," I mumbled.

I'm not your boss. I'm more like an old time telegraph operator, the voice suggested.

"Have you been watching classic TV shows again. Last time you thought you were Doc Holiday, if I remember correctly," I said with a smile in my voice.

Don't be rude or I will send you a jolt, he said.

I had no idea what he meant. Maybe it was something like a spanking, I thought. I half expected him to answer me. Maybe they couldn't read all my thoughts or maybe they just didn't bother, since there were so many of them. The human brain would be on overload with their own thoughts as well as mine. I just didn't know, but maybe I could slip something past them now and then.

Probably not, the voice said.

I heard running water, so I severed the link, at least I stopped listening and went looking for the source. What I found was a basement rapidly filling with water. I found water cutoff valve and turned it. The water stopped pouring from my water heater almost immediately.

To my untrained eye it looked like it was coming from a drain at the top of the water heater. A quick check of the on line layout for the hot water heater informed me that it was the pressure relief valve. Something was wrong with the new water heater which had been installed a few months before by the 'HLF' crew during the renovations.

Since it was Sunday, I knew that I wouldn't get anyone out on a small repair job. I would have to make do with cold water. Hell I realized that in the new body it didn't matter at all. Still hot water was necessary to cut the grease on dishes even though I used very few. I sometimes needed it to cut the grease on my hands. Actually I washed my hands a lot. I didn't like to leave finger prints in the inevitable oil I picked up in my normal activities.

I made a note to call the preacher's construction emergency number. It was not really an emergency, but the old Maxine would have thought so.

"You got anybody running service calls today?" I asked when I finally got a call back. Yes, I had left a polite message earlier.

"No ma'am but have you turned the water off in the basement?" she asked.

"Yes I have, I might be a woman but I can find the water shut off valve." I replied.

"Yes Ma'am I didn't mean that as an insult. It was just a question. We will not be able to get anyone out there till tomorrow. But I will put you on for 9AM without fail." she said.

"You do know how much business I do with you guys?" I asked. "I was being the old Maxine."

"Yes Ma'am, and you do know it's Sunday and that we are Church affiliated?" she asked.

"Yes, I do and honey, I feel like my ox is in the ditch. You feel free to put me off till Tomorrow, if you feel that is the thing to do. Just tell Reverend Archer that, if you don't stand behind your work any better than this, I will be looking for a new crew tomorrow. Have a blessed day," I said in the end.

I'm not a big religious person. I haven't been since I asked God to get me out of Afghanistan. I assumed that God's idea was a gut full of truck parts propelled by an IED. We parted ways and since then I had found nothing to change my mind.

I didn't object to others having faith and practicing it, but in my opinion you were either in business or not. If you were, then you needed to do it like everyone else, or expect them to find someone more suited to their needs. If I had my boiler go out in the middle of the night, I would expect someone to come fix it. Sure they would charge me like hell, but whoever came out would get my business from that point on.

In my mind it was the same with the hot water heater spewing water. If the guys who installed it wouldn't come out, then they wouldn't come out, even if it was gushing water into one of the townhouses across the street. Vlad or one of the civilian types probably would not be happy, if the homeowners association couldn't get their fucking heat back on in the middle of winter.

Geeze, I was getting ready to go to the Emmies for Christ sake, and here I was dealing with a faulty hot water heater. Life had a way of pulling my ass back to the real world. I really didn't mind. It was good for me to stay grounded I needed the everyday things to remind me I wasn't wonder woman or the center of the universe.

I guess that's why I was dealing in housing. It was a way to keep me humble and engaged with real people, not thugs and secret agent men. They given me a number and taken way my name. Okay, why the hell didn't I have a code name or number.

Oh you do, the voice came into my head. You just don't need to know it.

'Real cute," I replied to the empty townhouse.

Give your man an hour to get back to you. Then call a plumber, the voice said. You might want to start of list of people who will come out on Sunday.