Chapter 1

"Are you out of your mind?" Dan asked his wife. "You can't be serious, Amy!"

"It was just an idea, Dan," Amy replied. "Relax. It was just something Dr. Sutcliffe suggested."

"Your therapist said that? Your therapist suggested that you have sexual fantasies about your father?"

"Not ... not exactly, Dan."

"What do you mean, not exactly?"

"Well, he knows all about my issues with my dad, how I've never been close to him, how it's affected my self-esteem."

"Right, I know all that too."

"I know you do, Dan. Anyway, he said that I had missed out on an intimate relationship with my father. And even though I've tried over and over to get him to acknowledge me, nothing has ever worked. I still feel worthless because he doesn't..."

Amy was suddenly halted by a wave of emotion. Dan put his arm around her.

"It's O.K., Honey. I know how hard this is for you. I know you've been working on accepting your father for who he is, despite how he's treated you. It just seems that what Dr. Sutcliffe was suggesting was really kind of ... way out there."

"I know, Dan," Amy said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "But it really wasn't that big a deal. He just said that, sometimes when I'm being intimate with you, I could think about what I'm feeling, emotionally, and project that onto my dad. Like, when I'm feeling closest to you, I just imagine some of that warm emotion coming from him."

"Oh," Dan replied. "Well, that doesn't sound all THAT bad, I guess. It's not that, you're going to imagine sexual feelings for him, right?"

"No! Of course not, Dan! Don't be ridiculous. Dr. Sutcliffe would never suggest that."

The truth was that this was much closer to what Amy's therapist had actually suggested. She was just apprehensive about admitting that to Dan after his initial reaction to the whole idea. When her doctor brought up the idea, Amy herself thought it was kind of 'out there, ' but she had been so plagued by her emotions in this area that she was open to most anything.

"What did you say, Dr. Sutcliffe?" Amy had asked. "Maybe I didn't understand you."

"I simply suggested that you try and transfer some of the feelings from the most positive male relationship in your life, that which you have with your husband, to you father. Dan is loving, caring and supportive. He's all the things you would have liked your father to be."

"Well, that makes sense. But, what was the ... sexual part again?"

"The way you most intensely feel love from Dan is when you're making love, right?"

"Um ... right."

"So, if while you're having sex with Dan, you imagined that the emotions you were experiencing were actually brought about by your father's love, you might be able to absorb some of those feelings. It just might help to heal some of the wounds you have from that relationship."

"So, I would be having sex with Dan, but pretending it was my father?"

"Yes, but only the emotional part. Obviously the sexual part would be coming from your husband. But if you could make yourself think that the emotional part was coming from your dad, there's a chance it could touch your inner-self in a way that he was never willing or able to."

"What would Dan's part be, Dr. Sutcliffe?"

"Other than physically making love to his wife, his role would be to try and make you feel loved, cherished and valued in the process. Let's put it this way. Dan would be standing-in for your father emotionally and hopefully penetrating your wounded heart with loving, nurturing emotions. And at the same time, he would be your husband who was ... well, penetrating you physically."

Dan's love for Amy made him want to do whatever he could to help her become emotionally whole and healthy. So despite his reservations, he agreed to go along with her therapist's suggestion. That night at bedtime, Dan and Amy gave it a try.

"So, how do we start this?" Dan asked.

"I don't know," Amy replied. "Just like we normally would, I guess."

"And what am I supposed to do?"

"Well, other than the obvious, Dr. Sutcliffe said you should be very loving and caring for me while we're doing it. Nurturing. You're supposed to act fatherly."

"While I'm screwing you ... this is the weirdest thing I've ever heard of, Amy."

"I know, Dan. But you said you'd give it a try."

​"I will. I said I would and I will. I just want to go on record as thinking this makes no sense to me."

"O.K., Honey. You're on record. Now kiss me already!"

​Part of Dan's hesitation in acting out the doctor's suggestion came from the fact that he and Amy already had a strained sexual relationship. They had been married five years, and their sexual intimacy had been on the decline since the beginning.

Ironically, Amy's therapy pointed to her issues with her father as being at the core of her difficulty in giving herself to her husband sexually. Her father had never been abusive in any way. Rather he had been extremely emotionally distant from his only daughter. She had desperately wanted but never received his approval.

Dan felt like Amy's father was the culprit that had derailed their sex life. And here Dan was, making love to her and having to act like her father. He wasn't the least bit fond of the idea, but he gave it his best shot.

"Amy, you know I really love you, don't you?" Dan said softly into his wife's ear.

"Yes, I know," she replied. "Thank you."

Dan unbuttoned his wife's pajama top and began kissing down her chest.

"You have such a beautiful body, Amy. I love to be close to you."

Amy gave no response at first, but by the time Dan had her top unbuttoned and was kissing her stomach, she spoke.

"That 'loving to be close to me' thing was nice."

Dan cataloged the comment as he continued undressing his wife. Meanwhile Amy was trying to do as her therapist had suggested, accepting Dan's sexual advances, which brought challenges of its own because of her emotional baggage, while at the same time attempting to feel his comments as fatherly love.

Within a few minutes, Dan's erection was sticking out of the front of his pajama bottoms. He gently took Amy's hand and attempted to guide it there. In the process he momentarily forgot about the dual roles he was playing.

"Mmm ... Amy Baby ... touch my cock. I need you to touch my cock so badly."

This was too much too soon for Amy, who had felt she was starting to accept Dan in the role of her dad.

"My father would never ask me to do THAT!" she said.

"Ugh!" Dan grunted. "Amy, I'm trying, O.K.? I don't know what I'm supposed to say and what I'm not supposed to say."

"I'm sorry, Honey. That just sort of, took me by surprise. I was starting to make a little progress, I think. I ... I don't know, Dan. I'm sorry."

Dan stopped what he was doing and sat up in bed.

"I don't know how to help you, Amy. This just feels crazy. Sex for us is hard enough without adding this little game to it."

"It's not a game, Dan! It's serious! And I've told you that one of the big reasons I have trouble with sex is because of my father!"

"I'm sick of it, Amy! I love you, but I'm sick of it! We hardly ever have sex anymore. You seem unhappy all the time. And it's always about your father! Maybe you should just go ahead and bring him into your bed. Because you obviously don't want me here!"

"Dan, don't get so angry. I don't know what the answers are. I just thought maybe this was something we could try."

"I know, because Dr. Sutcliffe said so! I can't handle my marriage being run by your father and your therapist anymore!"

Dan moved toward the edge of the bed and put one leg on the floor.

"Dan, don't leave, please?"

Dan froze and was silent for a time. He then turned back to Amy with a look on his face she had never seen before.

"I think you really do want your father in your bed, Amy," Dan said quietly. "Is that it? Just say so. You said this isn't a game. Is it serious to you? Is that what you really want? You want to really BE with your father? Fine. You got it."

"Dan, you're worrying me. Please stop it."

Dan did not reply. He lunged toward Amy and roughly pushed her back on the bed. He quickly wriggled out of his pajama bottoms and got on top of his wife.