Chapter 1

Always an outsider, or at least that's how I saw things as I was growing up. Unlike my older brother Paul, who our parents seemed to dote on. An unseen barrier appeared to be between us, a barrier that had existed from my earliest childhood memories.

The question of why they treated me as they did had me curious. It wasn't until I was sixteen, that quite by accident, I discovered the reason. I was not their daughter. I was my mother's daughter. Dad had contracted mumps soon after my brother was born, which left him sterile and disinterested in bedroom pursuits. Mum out of desperation took an occasional lover, and as a consequence of one of her dalliances, became pregnant with me.

The knowledge helped a little. Things began to make sense. Not being of dad's blood, emotionally he kept his distance, although in his own way I guessed he loved me. To mum, I was a constant reminder of her carelessness.

I didn't make things easier. With their apparent lack of feelings towards me, for self-preservation, I distanced myself. My brother Paul, un-aware of my roots, treated me as any older brother would treat his sister. He constantly teased me, offering me to his mates for dates, aware of my embarrassment around boys.

His friend Scott was different. Tall, blonde, with an athletic physique and sparkling blue eyes that gave the impression, he was always happy. He and Paul had gone to school together, and now worked for the same firm. For years, he was like a part-time brother.

Scott's parents had died in a car accident, and he'd been living with his Aunt. Now she too was dead, leaving him without family, living in rented rooms not far from our place. Through his friendship with Paul, he'd adopted my family as his own.

We were growing up. Now I blushed every time he called in. He and Paul delighted in teasing me. For Scott though, the way he looked at me was no longer brotherly, his teasing had become a reason to touch. I was thrilled when he did, but my shyness soon had me running to the safety of my bedroom. To lie panting on my bed, trying to understand my runaway emotions.

With time, things changed. My shyness vanished, as did the need to hide from him. Now I let Scott hold me when he grabbed me, and it was his turn to become bashful, not quite knowing what to do with me. I guessed he was in the same quandary I'd been earlier.

With mum and dad away on one of their frequent trips, Paul took advantage of it and had an almost constant stream of friends visit, some with girlfriends, some without. Those without were the one's, he tried to get me interested in. I was, but knowing what they expected, and my growing feelings for Scott kept me saying no.

Paul's bedroom got a workout when his friends called. The constant comings and goings of couples, never gave his bedsprings time to cool. Paul, with his latest conquest, really tested its metal.

One day, returning from shopping, I saw his car in the driveway. He had gone to pick up his girlfriend Sue, and now he was back. I didn't have to be very bright to know what they'd be doing.

After putting the shopping on the kitchen table, I went to the lounge room door. A surprise greeted me. There was Scott in a recliner, his eyes closed, while he played with himself. My first reaction was to scream at him to stop it, and put himself away. But I didn't. I went to walk away and leave him to finish what he'd started. But I didn't. The fascinations of seeing him do it held me there. For the first time, I saw an erect penis in all its grandeur.

"Nice?" I asked as he opened his eyes.

"Oh, shit." The shocked look on his face when he heard my words, made me smile. That and the hurried way he put himself away, something that almost caused him some damage.

Watching him relieve himself removed the barrier that had been holding me back. "I wasn't meant to catch you doing it was I?"

"I didn't know you were home." He got up to leave, his face crimson with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have watched, but it is the first time I have seen it done. Paul does it, but he thinks I don't know."

Scott became even more flustered, looking at me, wondering how he could escape. Masturbation was not something that came into his usual conversation.

"Would it surprise you to know some girls do it as well?"

"Do you?" He asked hoping attack was his best defense.

"Sometimes," m reply shocked him as much as it did me.

Why was I being so forward? Was I just stirring him for all the teasing he had given me over the years? I thought not. What I had seen had triggered something. The fact h mouthed my name as it happened meant he was thinking of me. That thought delighted me.

With our embarrassing conversation at an end, Paul came into the room, followed by his sheepish little friend, both still flushed from their exertions.

He looked at the still flustered Scott, then at me, wondering why the pregnant silence. "Having some time to yourselves I see."

A million smart comments went through my mind. Luckily, I kept them to myself. "Yes" the best I could manage, and then left the room to put away the groceries.

With Scott and Paul working together, it was natural they shared the driving. Every second week Scott would pick Paul up, always coming in for a coffee before they left. I hated him seeing me in my school uniform. It made me look drab and unappealing. Not exactly the way I wanted him to see me. Other times I tried to look at my best, hoping he would ask me out. The more I thought about what I had seen, the urge to be with him gained impetus.

With mum and dad out of town, the house reverted to a drop in centre. As most of Paul's visitors were old enough to drink, from Saturday afternoon it turned into a party. Again, his bed became the centre of the couples' attention. I often wondered if his mattress would hold up under the constant use. Scott was with us, although keeping his distance. I guess he was worried I would say something about what I'd seen. He needn't have though. While the sight was always on my mind, I would never have said anything to embarrass him.

Ten o'clock and things quietened down. The boys with girlfriends were leaving, after having slaked their immediate lust. The ones without, decided they would go looking, on the off chance, they could find a girl of their own. By ten thirty, there was only Paul and his friend Sue, Scott and I in the house. I knew where Paul would disappear to, the moment he could.

"Can I get anyone a drink?" I asked as I went into the kitchen.

"I know. I bumped one of the glasses, and it went all over me. I'll have to change."

Standing in my bedroom, I stripped off the damp clothes, wondering what I could put on. Leaving on only my panties and bra, I looked in the wardrobe. Skirt and top seemed logical. While putting on my top, I noticed my bra was wet, so off it came. I could have put on another, but decided against it. Tonight I was going to make Scott pay for the years of teasing.

Returning to the lounge, I found Paul and his playmate had vanished. "He's left you alone again I see."

His eyes took in the clothes I was wearing, his tongue subconsciously licking his lips. "Yeah, I really should be going."

"No, stay and talk to me. Would you like another drink?"

"One more, then I really should go."

"Okay, I might have one with you seeing Paul will never know."

I went back into the kitchen and poured us a drink. As I placed the glasses on the coffee table, I made sure my top gaped open. His sharp intake of breath as he saw what I offered was a pleasing sound.

"What do you think they're doing in there?" I asked as we sat and sipped our drinks.

"I think you know what they're doing."

"Yeah, I guess I do. Do you do it?" My question caught him off guard, and he spluttered in his drink.

"No, not yet."

"Me either."

We sat quietly, Scott's eyes roaming over my body. Casually, I parted my legs and gave him a glimpse of my scantily covered crutch. He'd been hard from the time I came in with the drinks, now that area had taken on a life of its own, moving uncontrollably in his trousers.

"It looks as though part of you wishes it was in the next room."

"Yeah, I have to go before I do something silly." He stood, preparing to leave.

My heart sank. I had pushed him too far. "No. Stay. I don't want you to go."

What did I want? This had gone beyond teasing. The poor chap was in full lust, and I was being cruel. "You could always do what you did the other day, and I could watch."

"You really didn't mind. You know what I was thinking about when I did."

"Yes I know."

"And you don't mind."

"Sort of flattering and sexy."

"I'll do it if you will, we can watch each other."

That was something I hadn't expected. My fingers were no strangers there, but to show him was something different. Even so, wasn't I asking him to do it for me? My heart beat faster and I became clammy at the thought. Countless feelings ran through my mind. For the first time since puberty, I would be showing myself. As kids, Paul and I played Doctors and nurses, but as we got older, we stopped that little game.

My own desire was beginning to take hold. "Fair's fair I suppose."

Somewhat shyly, Scott took himself out, stroking it the moment it was free. "Your turn now," he whispered, barely able to speak.

As I slid down in the seat, my skirt rode up, my feet on the coffee table, exposing myself. Scott stroked faster as his eyes took in the delights, I was almost showing him. My fingers moved between my legs, moving aside the last of the covering. He smiled as he saw it, his hand moving faster as my fingers worked between my already slippery folds.

As a finger moved inside, it became too much for him and his built up desire flowed freely from him. With his urgency sated, I stopped what I was doing, and handed him some tissues.

"Was that nice," I asked as he put himself away.

"A little too nice. Would you like to do it if there is a next time? Would you like me to do it to you?"

"Yes, and yes." I hadn't thought about my answers, but to touch him there, and for him to touch me, was something I wanted. I couldn't wait for the next time we could be alone.

Paul with his little friend in tow, joined us. He sensed the change of mood in the room, but said nothing. He looked at Scott. "Are you ready for home?"

I got up, stretched and yawned. "It's my bed time as well." Scott shot me a quick smile, knowing the job I had to finish.

For the next two weekends, mum and dad stayed home, giving Scott and me little chance to be alone. He called in as usual, to see Paul, but it was different now. Gone was the teasing, as was the brotherly warmth, replaced by something deeper. We knew it, and it was obvious Paul noticed the difference, but being a good big brother, he said nothing.

My girlfriends from school were always around, mostly to see Paul and his friends. Giggling when he or they looked at them, and then rushed to my bedroom to talk about what they were like. Who they would like to go out with. What they would do if they had the chance.

I knew enough about sex to tell from their talk which of them had truly taken the final step, and who said they had, but in reality, hadn't. The majority though, just wished.

It was during these girly talks I found out what boys liked. For now, orgasms were only something they read about in girly magazines. I was lucky; I found I could do it myself, although it wasn't something I wanted to share with them.

With the anticipation of what I was going to do, I thought it was time I began grumbling to mum about my period pains. Not that I had any, but schoolyard gossip had it that the Doctor would put me on the pill to stop them. All through our sex lectures at school, they rammed home the point of using condoms. That thought seemed gross.

The mother daughter chat went off without any problems. Mum perhaps sensed the real reason for the request. Bless her, she didn't say anything. I an an inappropriate pregnancy in the family would be too much.

With mum and dad out of town again for the weekend, by late afternoon we were having another party.

Scott was hovering over me, attending to my every wish, flirting with me. His attentiveness wouldn't go unrewarded. Each look and gesture excited me.

As before, I drank a little alcohol when no one was looking, making sure not to have too much. Tonight I wanted to feel relaxed, but still in control of my emotions. This was a step into the unknown.

Paul and Sue had been going steady for over a month, something of a record for him. This one was nice, and from the sounds that came from his bedroom, she must be a real performer. Tonight I suspected she would spend the night with him.

What about Scott. His car was in for repairs, and Paul had brought him over. Surely, Paul wouldn't get out of bed to drive him home. I guessed he would have to sleep on the couch.

With the last of the guests out of the way, Paul, with a knowing smile, disappeared to his bedroom.

I looked at Scott, giving him my best sultry grin. "I guess that's the last we see of him for the next couple of hours."

"I guess so."

Now I needed to display my wares to this hunk of manhood. "Would you like me to go and change out of these jeans?"

His eyes wandered over my body, lingering on my breasts, and for a moment, between my legs. "If you'd feel more comfortable."

I made it to my bedroom, my heart pounding, the fire in my belly now an inferno. I'd been looking forward to this for three weeks, but now doubts began to creep in. Would Scott be happy doing what we said we would? Would he want me to go further? What if I wanted more?

My clothes, including my bra, ended up in an untidy pile on the floor. The skirt I had worn the last time we were together seemed inappropriate, perhaps something shorter tonight. As I wriggled into the skimpy thing, my breasts moved enticingly, something I knew Scott would appreciate. I put on the most revealing top in my wardrobe, hoping he'd take advantage of what was on offer.

With a racing heart, I went back into the lounge and sat down, the coffee table between us. As planned, the almost nothing skirt rode up, exposing my thighs, and if I didn't keep them together, my panty covered crutch as well. Poor Scott, he was almost drooling, his eyes darting from mine, to between my legs, then to my breasts. He was hard before I left the room, but now he seemed to have taken on even greater proportions, and it seemed to be alive.

We seemed to be stalemated. "Would you like another drink?"

"Yeah, one more. Do you still want to do it?"

I looked back at him as I reached the door. "Do you think I'd have dressed like this if I didn't?"

"I thought you might be teasing."

"No more teasing. Unless it leads to something better of course."

'One small step at a time', I said to myself as I poured the drinks. 'Tonight we'll just do what we said we would.' Already I knew it wasn't going to be enough. I wanted him, but not tonight.

Returning with the drinks, I went to sit beside him, but he stopped me. "Sit where you were, I like to look at you."

Why not, I liked it when he ogled me. I could almost feel his fingers following the course of his eyes, leaving goose bumps in their path. The funny thing was, to this point, we had never touched in an amorous way. He hadn't even kissed me. That was something I was looking forward to.

I did as he asked, being none too ladylike when I did. My legs parted as I leant forward to get my glass, which caused my top to balloon open. Again, the sharp intake of breath when he saw what was on offer, rousing us both. When would he move on me? I was ready, and from what I could see, he was more than ready. Stalemate.

I picked up the empty glasses and took them to the kitchen. I needed to get away for a moment. If I had stayed, I might have done the unladylike thing and jumped on him. He was supposed to be the predator. I was his prey. Surely, I'd done enough to show him how willing I was. But still he sat. Only his eyes and the swelling in his crutch showed interest. How to speed things up. My breasts were almost uncovered, and he could see my pink panties, what more could I do. Then it came to me, and I removed my knickers. If the sight of me naked down there didn't stir him into action, then nothing would.

The moment I sat down, I had his attention. His eyes riveted between my legs. "See something you like?" I asked somewhat innocently.

"I haven't been playing the game right. Have I? Would you like to come and sit with me?"

That definitely was not the brightest question Scott had ever asked. I had all but thrown myself at him. Now things were moving in the direction we both wanted. I became nervous. The questions I'd had in the kitchen came back. Would we be able to do what we said we would? What would I do if he wanted, or even demanded more? In this, he was still an unknown.

As I sat, he moved closer, his arm going around my shoulder, gently drawing my trembling body to him. His hand tilted my head back, and he looked into my eyes. His laughing eyes weren't laughing now. They showed tenderness and longing, the dark blue pools drawing me in. Our eyes still locked. Our lips met, tenderly at first, then firmer as our passion flowed. My arms pulling him to me.

Our kiss became an oral assault, each vying to give and receive all we could. As his fingers began the delicate job of undoing the few buttons that had kept my breasts covered, my excitement surely outweighed his. My lips urged him to hurry. The first touch of a hand other than my own sent warmth to my belly and I felt my excitement flow.

Scott stopped for a moment. "Paul won't come out?"

It seemed to take ages for me to get my tongue working, and my breathing under control. "Not for ages, listen to them. They can't get enough of each other."

"I'd hate him to catch me groping his sister."

I snuggled into his manly body, urging him to continue. "You grope away. I like it."

Surprisingly, Scott knew exactly how I wanted to be touched, where to touch, and for how long, before finding another place I liked. I glanced at the surging thing in his pants, wondering if I should touch him. His head moved to my breasts, his hand gently supporting one, his nose nudging the erect nipple, then the warmth of his mouth as he took it in. If I thought I was in heaven before, now I really was. He was exciting my nipple, yet the feeling had centered much lower. I wanted him to touch me there. I wanted to touch him. To at least in part, give him the pleasure he was giving me. My hand went to his crutch, and for the first time I felt the harness of him. The thing in my hand stirred, pushing against my palm. I felt its strength and the urgency in it.

"Take it out for me," I whispered.

Without relinquishing his sucking hold of my nipple, he got himself out, his hand guiding mine to the throbbing thing. This was what I wanted, yet a mixture of anxiety, lust, fears and desire swept through my mind. I was going to touch him. Do what I'd seen him do.

Then it happened. I was touching it, my hand wrapping it in its warmth. It twitched, and then relaxed a little, content to be held, throbbing eagerly. I was surprised at the heat, the hardness, how wet the head was, the softness of the skin, its inherent power. Slowly, I began to stroke it, Scott moaning quietly as I did. The hand on my breast moved, relinquishing its hold, beginning the journey to where I wanted it.

No words were needed. We knew what we wanted, and the slow pace was perfect, enabling us to take pleasure in each new and exciting step.

He touched me. His fingers searching between my folds, probing for my pleasure centre. I slid down, my legs parting. My skimpy skirt riding up around my waist. Hands that seemed to have a mind of their own pulled his head harder to my breasts. Gone was the need for tenderness, my more base desires were now coming to the fore. Scott followed my lead and became more forceful, only his searching fingers still gentle with me.

God how I wanted him. I wanted him to go all the way. I wanted to feel the wondrous thing in my hand force its way into me. I wanted to feel the exhilaration of becoming a woman. 'Not tonight, ' a voice said. 'Not tonight. You knew this would happen. Not tonight.' Oh how I wished that voice would shut up. Yet I knew it was right, I hadn't been on the pill long enough to let him. The thought of covering the wonderful thing with a condom was not what I wanted. I wanted to feel him inside me, not some manufactured protection.

As my willpower weakened, the thing in my hand began to pulse, and then with little warning, my hand flooded with his slippery nectar. His fingers took on new life as it happened; finding just the right place, helping me join with him in the pleasure of orgasm. The two of us struggled to curbed the urge to cry out with the magnificence of it.

Gradually our ardour cooled. What I had in my hand, had no resemblance to what I had in it earlier. Then we kissed. Our second kiss was as far removed from our first as it could possible be. Gone was the awkwardness, the lust and the longing, replaced with love and tenderness.

"Bathroom for you my boy."

Without bothering to try to put him away, we made our way to the bathroom. With the door shut, I dropped to my knees, sponging away the leftovers of our brief time together. With him clean, on impulse, I leant forward and gently kissed it, then felt its softness against my cheek.

"You had better not do that again. It might come back to life."

I looked up at him, wondering if he was right. Out of devilment, I kissed it again, then stood and kissed his lips.

"I should go and change before Paul catches me dressed like this."

"At least put your knickers on. He might get suspicious if he saw you without them." Then changing the subject. "Would you like another drink?"

"That'd be nice. Something to help me sleep." I walked to my bedroom to change, putting on what I'd worn earlier.

Scott and I sat as we had been earlier in the night, opposite each other. Gone was the awkwardness. We talked about his work. We talked about my schooling. What I wanted to do after I left at the end of the year. The friends we had in common.

Then Paul came in. "Oh, good you're still up."

He was wearing his dressing gown, and by the way he held it, I could bet that was all he was wearing. Sue followed him, wearing his spare. She held hers the same way, and I knew she was as naked under it as he was.

"Would it be alright if Sue stayed the night?"

"What am I? Your mother? If she wants to stay, then she stays."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't say anything?"

"Of course not. What about you Sue, do you want to spend the night with my big brother?"

She looked up at him. Besotted with the hunk of manliness. "I'd like that."

"What about you Scott, will you be okay sleeping on the lounge, or should I take you home?"

"I couldn't possible drag you away from Sue, now could I. What sort of a mate would I be if I did?"

"I'll get some blankets and a pillow."

With Paul fussing around getting Scott's bedding, I looked at Sue. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Love one, he makes me thirsty."

"I suppose he'd like one as well."

The ever-attentive Scott came to help me. "Bugger, now I'll be serenaded by those two all night. There's no way that brother of yours is going to let an opportunity like this go begging."

"Or her. She likes it as much as he does."

"And you? Do you think you'll like it?"

I looked into his beseeching eyes, holding his hand, knowing he wanted me the same way I wanted him. "I know I will. I wanted you when we were alone, playing with each other. I want you now. After my next period, we go all the way."

Scott smiled at me, and I saw the love in his eyes. Yes, he would wait; he would wait until it was time. A time I hoped in the not too distant future.

"Best we take the drinks in. We don't want Sue dying of thirst." That broke the intimate mood.

Paul was fussing around making Scott's makeshift bed, Sue helping him.

With the drinks in hand, we found a seat, Scott and I sitting together. Sue sitting in the chair I usually sat in. As she picked up her drink, she crossed her legs, and for a moment, I saw I'd been right, she was naked under the gown. I had the briefest glimpse between her legs, the sight sending a burst of warmth through me. She blushed when she knew I had seen her most intimate part.

There was no conversation, just four people sitting having a drink, a feeling of awkwardness in the room. Paul broke the mood by taking Sue by the hand, leading her to his room. "See you guys in the morning," his final words as he closed the door.

"It's late, I should be going to bed." I said as I stood.

Scott stood with me, immediately wrapping me in his arms, his lips seeking mine. "It's going to be a long night."

I stripped and got into bed. I was happy, I was sad. Every emotion imaginable ran through me. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, and I wanted Scott. Oh, it would be so easy to go to him and not bother waiting. 'Not tonight, ' the voice kept repeating, 'not tonight.'

An hour later and my bed was a mess. I had been tossing around so much the sheets were tangled, the quilt on the floor. 'Is this what love does to a girl, ' I wondered. 'I wonder how Scott is sleeping.' I put on my dressing gown and went to the lounge door. He looked uncomfortable, his feet hanging over the edge, most of his blankets on the floor.

"What are you doing up," he whispered.

I moved into the room and knelt on the floor. "Couldn't sleep."

"Me either."

I leant over and kissed him, rekindling the smouldering fire inside me. God how I wanted him. "Would you like to come to bed with me?" a voice I didn't recognise said.

"But what if... ?"

"You won't, I think we know how we can please each other, other than that way."

He looked at Paul's door. "But... ?"

"I don't care if he knows, he'll never say anything. He can't, seeing we know he's got Sue in there."

I stood and let my gown come open. Scott was off the lounge in an instant, his arms around me, holding my nakedness against him, his lips searching for mine. They met, and what began gently, soon became passionate, open mouthed, our tongues vying for each other.

"Come," I said as I led him to the place no male had been.

With the door closed behind us, I dropped my gown and stood looking up at him. The little light coming in my window doing nothing more than highlighting my feminine curves. That and the hardness that had formed in his boxer shorts. I felt him, as again his arms wrapped around me. Stroking it, feeling the renewed power, feeling it slide in the confines of the silky material.

"I think you know where to put those," nodding to his shorts as I lay on the bed, making room for him.

We lay together, our arms around each other, feeling the warmth of our naked bodies, the desire slowly building, silence our companion. Our lips and fingertips doing our talking. I pressed him against my belly, and he began a slow wonderful thrusting. My hand and belly soon wet with his excitement, doubling the sensations he caused. Two in a single bed didn't allow much movement, and he was having trouble getting his fingers where I wanted them. His mouth though had plenty of room, and he was soon sucking and nuzzling my breasts and nipples. The fire in the pit of my stomach now an irrepressible yearning. I wanted more.

I turned on my side, moving up the bed a little, as I did. The thing in my hand didn't miss a beat, nor did it, when, still holding it, I allowed it to slide between my legs, the tip nudging my clitoris. For now, we were happy.

Without warning, Scott began thrusting harder, and I felt the warmth of his seed flow from him. "Shit, sorry."

"Don't be, it's nice," I said, and meant it.

Unlike before, this time he didn't subside, and he kept going, pushing further back, getting close to where we both wanted him. True to his word, he made no effort to enter me, content to keep doing what we had been. Confident now he wasn't going to do anything silly, I took my hand away and allowed him to continue.

Again, with little warning he erupted, covering me with his offering, this time taking me with him. His thrusting slowed, and then stopped as he began to soften, but left it where it was.

"Surely the real thing can't be better than that." He managed to say as he gasped for breath.

I grasped him tight between my thighs. "We'll know soon enough."

Now began the oral assault, words of endearment flowing freely. Our fingers never still, finding places the other liked. For me having his mouth on my breasts was great. For him it was my long nails gently scratching his back and buttocks. Sleep, the last thing on our minds.

"I really should go back out on the couch," he said but made no move to leave me.