Chapter 4: The Pursuit

My days were filled with preparation for my United Nations assignment. Governments had paper-shuffling down to an art-form, and my task was to insure that the ambassador, his immediate lieutenants, and several lesser minions had all the proper papers at the proper time. Within a month I was questioning myself whether this was a career or a job. Until now, I had not been asked to use any of my language skills and saw no near-future opportunity on the horizon. I began to think of private practice once more.

In the evenings I would call Jocelyn and we would talk about our day and I would invariably ask about the children. She was eager to tell me all about their activities and the joy she found as they discovered new friends and learned new things in school. I took pleasure in her happiness.

Lawrence had the children once a month, but seldom took them anywhere other than Central Park and lunch. According to Evan, the maid, or sometimes the driver, would escort them to an appropriate movie, but little else was done to entertain them. More than once, Lawrence had begged off with one excuse or another for being unable to take them. It didn't upset either the children or Jocelyn.

On the weekends, I would ask Jocelyn if I could escort them to the zoo, or perhaps some other activity they might want to enjoy. At first, she was reluctant, but after a few attempts, she finally relented and we had a fine time at the zoo. Her sons were delightfully well mannered and we seemed to hit it off quite quickly.

Both Evan and Trevor wanted to hear about my exploits during the war. Evan had a somewhat bloodthirsty interest in how many "bad guys" I had killed, while Trevor wanted to know what kind of plane I flew. I had to carefully explain that I didn't kill anyone, and I wasn't a pilot, but I flew in several kinds of planes. That kindled their interest and I found a book with all sorts of military aircraft pictured and we would literally spend hours looking at them while I pointed out which ones I had flown in and where I was at the time.

It took months of courting, always including the boys, for Jocelyn to begin to accept that I was serious in my intentions. While we had kissed and held each other when the children weren't present, we had no physical contact otherwise. I think that and my persistence provoked the thaw that led to her accepting me. I was happy that I had taken the time and the effort to convince her. Although we had not yet resumed making love, I wasn't discouraged. Just being with her was comforting and reinforced my resolve to make her my wife.

It was on a weekend that Lawrence had the boys that everything changed. We had arranged to meet for lunch, and I was to pick her up at her apartment. When I arrived, she invited me in and took my coat. I saw that the dining room table had been set for two, and I realized it was her intent to provide our lunch.

"This looks very nice, Jocelyn. You've surprised me, but it's a pleasant surprise."

She graced me with a demure smile. "You've been very patient, Trevor. I've decided to reward you for that patience." There was a hint of mischief in her voice.

"I'm very grateful for your trust. But I wonder ... just what my reward might be?" I hoped I hadn't sounded too bold.

"I'm hoping you will enjoy this lunch and want to spend some time with me."

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do." We were dancing around the obvious question, but I wasn't about to press the issue.

She looked at me, trying to settle on something, I thought. Then, having made that decision, she stepped to me and wrapped me in her arms. Her kiss was so much more than loving. I remembered the passion we had shared with our kisses all those years ago and I knew then what she had decided.

"I'm in love with you all over again, Jocelyn. These past weeks have only confirmed what I already knew. I fell in love with you when we first met, and now, here in your arms, I know that has never changed. I love you."

"I know. I could see it in your eyes. I could hear it in your voice. I had to be sure, Trevor. I had to be certain this time. Now ... I have to trust again. That is the hardest part. I love you too. I've had my share of experiences to tell me I know what that really means. I've decided to trust you, Trevor. Please don't let me down."

"I can't imagine ever doing anything to hurt you."

I was holding her close to me, almost whispering my words of love between placing light kisses on her cheeks and neck. It was all it could do to quell the feeling of excitement that had built in the pit of my stomach. I was frozen into inactivity. Jocelyn would have to be the leader now. I was happy just to hold her near.

"Let me get our lunch, Trevor. Then we can talk about what comes next. We have lots of time. The boys won't be home until tomorrow afternoon."

We reluctantly parted to allow her to serve the food. I was only partly in control of my mental faculties. I was about to change my entire life, and the idea that I had done so without a backward glance didn't faze me in the slightest. I was that certain of my decision.

I have no real recollection of the food Jocelyn served. It was wonderful, but my mind was on my lovely hostess. I was so completely besotted with her that I wonder if I could have found my way home if I needed to.

"I gave the maid the weekend off, so we won't be interrupted. Unfortunately, that means I'll have to do the dishes," she grinned.

"Not without my help. I consider myself quite expert in the matter."

I took only a few minutes to clean up the kitchen and return to the living room. Jocelyn made some tea, and we sat beside each other on the sofa.

My mind was whirling like a Sahara sandstorm, blotting out all rational thought for the moment. I struggled to say what I most desperately wanted to say.

"Jocelyn, will you marry me?" I finally managed, almost stuttering my way through the request.

She looked at me, and for a moment I thought she might say 'No, ' but when a small smile graced her lovely face, I knew my fate was sealed.

"Yes, Trevor, I will marry you."

"Oh, my God, I don't know what to say now. I love you, darling, and I'll never let you down ... I promise."

We kissed again, and this was again different. If there was a difference between passion and loving, our kiss defined it.

"May I tell my parents and my uncle?" I asked.

"Yes, Trevor. You may tell them. I will be calling my parents and telling them as well. I'm sure my mother and father will want to meet you again. They won't remember you from our brief meeting that summer, but I doubt they will object. I think they were very disappointed in Lawrence, and you, my handsome man, will convince them that you are the right choice."

We talked for what seemed like hours about finding a ring and when we should marry, as well as where. We decided that since we were both Canadian citizens, we would marry in Canada. We would search for a ring on the weekend, marry in four months time (October), and do so in church.