I think that would be the one and only word that could describe how I was and had been feeling for the past couple of weeks. On and off, sleep and then abrupt awakenings ... tossing and turning, my mind just seemed like it wouldn't shut off. I just couldn't stop thinking about him.
Brian was my boyfriend of seven years, and I couldn't get him off of my mind. I loved him dearly but I was starting to feel that after a sexless seven years, he was starting to fall out of love with me. You see, we are both practicing Mormons, and we both agreed that we wouldn't have sex until marriage.
I am still a virgin, and I believe that he is too, but I know how men are especially once they start masturbating and get a feel for that orgasm. I am starting to feel the same way, but I feel as long as I still have an intact hymen, and no man has entered me, I won't be tempted to have sex. But that doesn't mean that I haven't and don't masturbate.
My cousin's favorite line is "no one can love you like you can!" And if I may, I fully agree with her. I love the feeling that clitoral orgasms give. I love the way tremors rack my body until I almost black out in euphoria, and I know that once I feel my boyfriend slide inside me for the first time, I will probably lose consciousness for sure.
But that's the whole problem! I want this so badly, and I want everything to be right the first time, but I am totally not sure if Brian feels the same way. I hear the words come out of his mouth when he whispers in my ear "I love you Angie," and kisses my neck and sticks his tongue in my ear when we are making out, but I just feel this emptiness inside. Maybe it's because I want to feel him inside of me just as much as he wants to feel my hot cunny wrapped around his hard cock.
Just the mere thought of Brian entering my hot wet pussy makes my juices flow like lava down my legs, but every time I want to say something to him about it, my beliefs get in the way, and I can't do anything! My tongue gets completely tied, and I get a knot in my throat.
All of this thought about sex is making me tired, so I think a nap to cool my jets would be the more than perfect way to get all of this off of my mind.
Sleep felt so good for a change. I peeled my jeans down my legs, and left just my panties on, along with an over sized T-shirt that I had acquired from my older cousin that I often slept in, and I laid down on my queen sized bed. My bra was never comfortable to sleep in, so I threw that in the pile with my pants, and I left my anklet socks on, and let my hair down, and before I knew it, I was counting stars, and my mind completely left me, and I had the most comfortable sleep I had encountered in ages!
I couldn't tell you how many hours, minutes, or seconds had passed, but I could tell you that when I woke abruptly from sound sleep...
My hands ... my feet ... what the hell was going on? I couldn't move. My limbs were bound to all four corners of the bed and a bandanna had been tied around my mouth as so I couldn't scream.
No matter how hard I tried I couldn't move one inch from the center of the bed. Totally bound and tied and left exposed to who ever wanted to see me. And that's when it happened.
A warm rough hand touched my left ankle. I turned my head to see who it was and just that quickly, my t shirt was being pulled over my head. It wouldn't come completely off, but it was pulled up enough for me to be blinded by the black cotton material, and I could no longer see what was happening around me.
The hand was replaced onto my ankle and now was slowly traveling up my calf and the back of my thigh until it reached the v in my legs where my hot musky pussy was flushing hot juices despite the fact that I was scared for my life. I was so scared, and I wanted this to stop, but the more I fought it, the hotter and wetter my pussy got! Scared as I was, I was twice as excited.
That's when I felt the cold harsh feeling of steel on the inside of my leg. I started squealing against the gag and started bucking and wreathing frantically against my restraints. The hand was very genteel and calming when it landed on my back and I felt the presence of a warm body very close to my head. "Shh, I am not going to hurt you. I promise! Calm down, I just want to make you feel good." The male voice whispered.
It took a couple seconds for his words to resonate through my mind, but when I realized that this person could have already killed me by now, I calmed down a little bit. And as soon as I stopped flopping around I briefly felt the steel again, and by the time I realized it was a knife, my blue cotton panties had already been sliced open at the crotch leaving a cotton belt around my waist and my hot pussy exposed.
Soon enough, I felt the caress of warm fingers at the opening of my vagina and I started to moan. It felt so good because I hadn't touched myself intimately in about a week. I also heard the knife fall to my carpeted floor and I breathed a bit easier. But my exhale was only short lived because before I knew it, those same caressing fingers were now diving under me and reaching for my clit.
I pushed my midsection towards the caress, as I silently begged for more. I needed more, I needed to feel who ever this was placing their fingers deep inside me. I wanted more, needed more, yearned for more!