"Larry. I'm sorry, I just don't understand."

"Angie, It's really simple. I am moving out. By the time you get home from work tomorrow I will have my things."

"But where are you going?" I asked it, even though I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"You can reach me through my mother," the voice of my soon to be estranged husband came through my cell phone...

The phone went dead before I could understand exactly what it all meant. I fought to maintain control of my emotions. I had to hold on, since I was riding on the interstate highway in the back of an ambulance. It was true that the woman on the stretcher wasn't going to know what a wreck I was. She wasn't dead, She was just in a semiconscious state. A lot of our weekday runs were what we called 'granny totes'. Someone had to carry the nursing home patients to the hospital. If they were too out of it to sit in the facility's van we usually got the call.

The private ambulance and rescue service, which employed me, was 25% cheaper than the County EMS service, so we were the carrier of choice for Medicaid and Medicare. Every third day I carried somebody's granny to the doctor or hospital during the day. On the overnight part of my 24 hour shift we assisted the County EMS guys. Most evenings until 11PM, we watched TV or played cards between the few calls which came in. Some night we worked the whole shift but most shifts didn't get busy until 11PM. Then we often stayed busy until 3AM. During those hours we uduslly rolled on several minor injury calls. Usually those were drunks, who convinced themselves that they were dying, or some drunk who beat up on some other drunk over a drunk chick. The worst of all was when a drunk driver who ran into a sober person. Some poor smuck on the way home from work. Generally the smuck got the worst of it.

If it sounds as though I had very little empathy for my clients, it was from the two years of experiences which I had already endured. High ideals and the desire to be of service didn't last long in the real world of an EMS worker, even the privately employed ones.

"What's going on Angie?" my partner asked. She had heard me talking to Larry. All of us were nosy as hell. It came with the job, I think.

"I'm not sure Lois. That was Larry on the phone and I think he is moving out," I admitted through the small sliding window which connected the front and back workers. Lois had to drive, since she had the lesser degree. I had to attend to the patient, it was protocol.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't have any idea why he is leaving or what I did. I thought everything was fine." I didn't expect her to have an answer, since I was just mumbling out loud. They say a baby puts stress on a marriage, but I can't see that Lucy changed anything at all. There might be a few less dollars around for toys, otherwise she didn't make much difference to Larry. I was the one who did most of the work. I had never supposed the one night in three that he had to care for her could be a problem.

I was deep in shock, so trying to figure out the why of it at that moment was a waste of my time. Still I couldn't help trying to get a handle on it. I have always been one of those take charge people, so leaving it be was impossible.

"You two seemed so perfect for each other. At least from what little I know." What she didn't say thankfully was that Larry and I were exactly alike. Larry is an accountant and a bit of a nerd. Everyone who ever knew me, used the same terms to describe me as well. Probably why Lois thought we were a perfect match. Most of the time I felt that Lois would rather have had a different partner. One a little less straight, but she had been assigned to me in lieu of being fired. Lois was a leather lesbian, at least that is what I had been told, when Julie paired her with me. Since I was stable and hardly her type, she was put with me as a last resort. All the other female EMS workers were afraid of her. Julie insinuated that some of the men were as well. Everyone said Lois had a bad temper. I had personally never seen it.

"Julie told me that, if I go off on you, I am fired. I will honestly try to put up with your freaky personality, if you will do the same for me." She suggested on our first day. The deal had worked for almost a year. She had been offered a permanent change of partners while I was on maternity leave the month before, but she decided to wait for me to return. I guess we got along better than I thought. Even so, I was surprised at her level of concern about Larry leaving.

I was shaky all afternoon, but I managed to keep the old folks alive until they reached the hospital. It wasn't nearly as hard as it sounds. Most of them needed nothing more than monitoring while their oxygen tanks forced gas into their lungs. After five when things slowed down I called my mom.

"Hello mom," I said when she answered her phone.

"Hello Angie, is everything alright?"

"Why do you ask?"

"What do you mean, I always ask. Is something wrong?"

"Has Larry called you?"

"No, Angie is something wrong?"

"Mom can Lucy sleep over with you tonight?"

"Well I was planning an orgy, but I can postpone it. Of course she can sleep over, I never do anything since your dad died." What she said was true enough mom didn't have a life since Dad had an early heart attack two years earlier. At least that is what I have though when I asked her to sit with Lucy while Larry worked. "Now what is going on?"

"Larry called, he dropped a bomb on me. He said he would be moved out by morning. I assume that means he won't be coming for Angie after work."

There was a long silence then Mom said, "If that son of bitch does try to take her, he will get an ass full of bird shot. I haven't sold your dad's guns yet and I knew how to use them."

"Easy there Dirty Harriet. I don't think he wants Angie. Hell that might be what this is all about. I have no idea why he is leaving me."

"Because he is an idiot asshole, that's why," Mom said. "We are going to need a new plan. I'll give it some thought tonight. We will talk in the morning."

"Well, I'm sure we can count on Larry doing the right thing," I said trying to calm her down. She was speaking in a louder, and higher pitched voice than usual.

"Oh, you bet your ass he is going to do the right thing. Your Uncle John will see to that."

Uncle John was arguably the best criminal lawyer in the state. He was part of the Adams Mafia, as my mom referred to her family. She had three brothers, each meaner than the other, in his own way, she was fond of telling people.

"Your Uncle John will see to it that Larry never has enough money to buy a pizza for another woman." I laughed and a second later she joined me. "That does sound a little spiteful doesn't it." she added.

"Just a little. I needed the laugh though so don't worry about how it sounds. I have to run, I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay and don't you worry about Lucy, we will work something out."

"Thanks mom, I appreciate all you have done for me so far. I know I'm going to be even more of a pain now."

"Don't worry honey, this will all work out. You have a great family and lots of friends behind you." With those words the phone went dead. I could just imagine her making phone calls and scheming the rest of the evening. There might not be a gathering of the Adam's Mafia, but there would be plenty of telephone consultations. After all I was the only female child in my generation. The Uncles would fall all over themselves to help me, that I could count on. Their father, Jonathan Adams, had preached to all his children, that it was family first, then the weak, who were the ones worth helping. But it was always family first.

That evening at work was pretty much the same as every other one Well they are never exactly the same, but there were the lulls and the spurts of activity at more or less the normal intervals. I cried a lot during the lulls and cursed some during the spurts of activity. It was a roller coaster ride that night for sure.

When I hit the bed at 3:30AM, I was totally exhausted. I shed a few tears, but only a few before I drifted off to sleep. We had a 6AM call the next morning. One of the patients at a nursing facility was almost finished. Lois and I loaded her into the Ambulance. I barely kept her alive long enough to make it to the hospital, but I managed to deliver her still breathing, even if it was shallow and labored. I didn't want the lady to die in my ambulance, any more than the facility wanted her to die in their care.

After the delivery, Lois and I stopped for breakfast. We often did that if the shift ended within an hour of clearing the hospital.

"So are you alright?" Lois asked over her runny eggs.

"Define alright," I said with as much of a smile as I could manage. "If you consider not suicidal as alright, then yeah I'm alright."

"Good, then I won't worry about you."

"You can always worry, it can't hurt," I said with a real smile.

Just like most days, when we went out to breakfast on the clock, we managed to finish the meal then check out without anything else happening. I drove to my mom's small frame ranch style house. I was planning to pick up Lucy, then drive to my rented townhouse style apartment.

"Come on in, and tell me how you are," Mom suggested.

"I'm fine and I should take Lucy and go. You have been busy with her long enough."

"Lucy is a joy. She is much better behaved than you were." It was meant to needle me, then she realized it wasn't the right time for it. "She is better behaved but you were more animated so more fun. That wasn't right either," she said.

"Don't worry, I understand what you mean."

"Good, you look tired. Did you have a rough night?'

"It was a little busy." I admitted.

"Why don't you take a nap in your old bed. If you do, when you awake we can discuss our future."

"I'm too exhausted to argue. I'll be in bed, but I need to feed Lucy."

"You go on to bed, I'll bring her along."

I expect all children leave a few things at their parent's house. In my case I had a drawer filled with clothes. I didn't need anything at that moment, but I might need a top before I left. One of the extras of breast feeding is a wet top, when one least anticipates it.

I fell asleep with Lucy trying to empty my engorged breast. The sheet was down to my waist when she finished. I felt her lifted from the bed at some point but I was too sleep drugged to remember it in any detail. I do remember the sheet suddenly covering my over sized and naked breasts. Even that is just a vague recollection.

When I finally did wake up it was in stages. It might have been only a few seconds but it took me a bit to remember everything. It was as though I tried to blot out the unpleasant memory. As I looked around to place myself in the foggy universe, I noticed that mom had left the bedroom door ajar when she removed Lucy. Walking around in just my panties was no problem, since mom had seen my boobs just a few hours before.

I walked down the hall to the bathroom in just my panties, but carrying fresh underwear and a clean blouse in my arms. I was more than a little surprised to run into my Uncle John in the hall. He was exiting the bathroom as I stood trying to hide behind the stack of clothing. He just smiled, then nodded and walked to the kitchen,

I am sure my face was red even before I stepped into the hot water of the shower. I was suddenly very turned on. I suppose it was natural to be a little excited at having been seen almost naked by a man who obviously approved. Yes I washed my labia a little more than I usually do. I even gave my clit a good lathering and massage. Finally I washed inside my vagina and up behind my pubic bone. When I orgasmed I was seeing my Uncle John smile down on me. In my fantasy he watched me get off for him. I almost fell in the shower so intense was my orgasm. I barely managed to hold myself up while I weakly finished my shower.

When I emerged from the bathroom, I was dressed in panties a nursing bra and cotton top. I did not have my trousers, since they were still on the floor by the bed. At the time I headed for the shower, I hadn't decided whether or not I would wear them home.

I ran into Uncle John in the hall again. I am sure I blushed and averted his eyes. He could not have known that I thought of him as I came so hard. I went to the bedroom to finish dressing then checked on Lucy in mom's room. Mom had one of those big straw baskets with a pillow for Lucy to sleep inside. Even jaded old me had to admit it was a beautiful sight. It was also a sight my Uncle Charlie found fascinating. He had photographed it at least a dozen times in in that first month of Lucy's life.

Lucy was quietly playing with her toes, so I left her alone to contemplate the universe. I wandered into the kitchen for coffee. Uncle John was on his phone talking to his office I presumed. I filled my coffee cup while I waited for mom to look up at me. She was busy reading some papers with a blue cover. It was the kind of paper lawyers like to use for a cover sheets.

Uncle John said, "Right I'll be back in about an hour or so, just tell him to reschedule if he really needs to see me personally. Otherwise pass him over to Eddie." Eddie being John's son and of course my cousin. After a hasty goodbye he put the phone into his brief case.

"Now Angie, whats this I hear about that no good Larry leaving you high and dry."

"I don't know about high and dry, but he called me last night at work to tell me he would be moved out by this morning."

"Did he make any arrangements to pick Lucy up from your mother?"

"No, but I wouldn't have allowed it anyway."

"Be that as it may, it shows a disregard for parental responsibility. I think we can use that." Uncle John stopped to think a moment before he went on. Did he propose any financial arrangements?"

"No, we really didn't get into all that."

"Do you know how to reach him?"

"At work I suppose. He also said that his Mom would know where he was staying."

"I have a standard demand for temporary support I need you to sign. Then we have to decide where to serve it. I can serve at his mother's house or I can have it delivered to his office. I like the office personally," He said with a wicked grin.

"Do what you think is best," I said vacantly.

"Now that we have that out of the way, how are yo u doing hon?"

"I don't know yet. I'm still in shock."

"I can imagine. Well if there is anything your Aunt Ruth or I can do let us know."

"I don't have any idea what I am doing Uncle John, I have to trust you to do the right thing for us all."

"Honey as you Grandfather would have said, "it isn't about all. It's all about family." Don't worry, Larry will do the right thing." He paused a few minutes as if organizing his thoughts then added. "I have to get back to the office. Sis, thanks for calling to let me know. This one," he said it nodding to me, "Is far to independent to call asking for help."

"Thanks for coming over on such short notice John. I know it was inconvenient."

"About as inconvenient as the things the rest of the family has done for me and my family."

"True we do pull together, daddy would be proud." It was all my mom said, and all she needed to say.

John hugged us both then walked out of the kitchen door. "You know he kept the richest man in town waiting to come here. I didn't ask him to do that, I just told him you needed some help. If Larry doesn't do the right thing, there is a high degree of probability a drug deal will go bad around Larry."

"You are being dramatic Mom," I said.

"Of course," she replied simply. "Now what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean we?"

"We, as in the two of us. Look you are going to have to change jobs or we have to figure out what we are going to do about Lucy."

"I don't want to change jobs but I guess I will have to. I can't find a sitter to take her that long at one time."

"Sure you can, if you know where to look."

"What are you saying."

"I'm saying, I can take care of her one day out of three."

"That would be massively inconvenient," I suggested.

"Yes it would but I do have a plan. You know I have your dad's pension. It isn't much, so I've been thinking about going back to work. Sitting for Lucy would be an ideal part time job for me."

"I don't know what to say," I admitted.

"While you are thinking it over, think about this. You could move in here with Lucy. It would make it easier for us to work out the details of Lucy's care."

"Mom, I love you but I'm too old to live at home."

"It won't be like that. You would consider getting a roommate, if you had to wouldn't you?"

"Yes but it isn't the same thing at all."

"It can be, if we work at it. I won't ask you to explain your personal life, and you don't ask me to explain mine."

"I will think about it, but I don't know."

"You can write your own rules and I will live with them," Mom said quietly.

"You know I'm not the party type, and even if I try it, I wouldn't do it around Lucy."

"That's fine, but you could have visitors without any questions being asked by me."

"That's something that is pretty far down the road I think," I suggested it with a giggle. I was surprised that I could find humor in anything. Probably the shower episode had helped me to release some pent up tension.

When I got home, I found lots of gaps in the apartment's furnishings. Larry had taken away everything he wanted without regard to my wishes. I didn't really need any of the stuff he took. For instance he took the larger screen TV, but since it wasn't paid for I didn't mind. He left me the smaller bedroom TV which was plenty large enough.

I spent the day with Lucy. I was trying hard to understand what had happened. In the end I gave up. I just watched TV in a kind of fog. The house seemed especially empty that night. The more I thought about Mom's proposal the more I liked it.

And that is how two weeks later I became my mom's roommate. As she had said it just made sense. I loved coming home from work and taking a nap with Lucy. I had never been able to do that while living with Larry. Since Larry was usually at work when I got home, I have no idea why that was. It just worked out that I always seemed to have something that needed doing right away.

I met mom's new boyfriend the first night I stayed with her. They had been dating for months it seemed. According to her she just hadn't wanted to tell me until she was sure there was something real going on. Once I moved in she had no choice but to tell me. According to her, she still wasn't sure what was going on between them.

Our first rule was that he would not come over on nights I worked. I didn't want Larry to have even the smallest thing to say about my new living arrangements. Mom understood and so did her boyfriend Edward. Ed, as he liked to be called, was close to my mom's fifty years of age. He was a good looking man who owned his own business. He imported home decorator items from China. Items that he later resold to small stores who could not buy in large enough quantities to deal directly with the manufacturers. From his demeanor business seemed to be good at that moment.

Neither of them told me but I quickly figured out that he was married. I had no idea in what position that left my mom, but it was none of my business either. She was a grownup and I assumed, able to take care of herself. Besides our agreement was we were not going to interfere in each other's lives.

The first test of our non interference came when Ed stayed over. It wasn't me and Lucy going to bed with him, but still him being in the house bothered me. His presence didn't really bother me it was listening to them make love. I had no idea my mom was that loud. Most of what she said was incoherent but I caught a few words and they make me gasp. I also began to get tense at the sounds.

Lucy was nursing at the time and I was getting really turned on. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feelings racing through my body. I could hear my mom moaning and feel Lucy pulling at my nipple. When I could stand it no longer, my fingers moved to my vagina and finally to my clit. It took only the shortest of time for me to explode into a huge orgasm. I continued to rub myself until I came two more times. I was embarrassed when I calmed down enough to realize what I had done. I had never had an orgasm with Lucy nursing. But then I had also never listened to my mother screwing either. Even the thought of it turned me on again. I ached to feel Larry inside me. He always said that I didn't act very enthusiastic, but I loved the feeling of his penis inside me. I felt complete somehow with him there.

The next morning Ed was gone before I awoke. Mom had Lucy's basket moved to her room before I left the house, so all was right with the world. Especially since mom and I avoided discussing her behavior the night before. God I was beginning to think as if I was her mother. My only lingering problem was that every time I remembered the events of the night before my body shot a charge of electricity through my genitals. It was maddening but also a little pleasurable.

The 24 hour shift passed easily. Nothing of any real interest happened but that was okay. Time was allowed to pass slowly, just so long as it passed. As a matter of fact a week passed before anything of significance happened. Then it was in my personal life, not the job.

Larry's first child support check arrived. I had not heard a word from him previously, so I was a little surprised that I didn't have to chase him down. The check was for 900 dollars. It was all child support, since I had a job. Uncle John assured me that I would do better in the long run by going for the larger child support rather than alimony.

Mom and I had agreed that I would pay her the full child support and she would do all the shopping, pay the mortgage, and utilities. I just signed over the child support and then I had all my salary to spend on Lucy and myself. It was a really good deal for all concerned.

When I awoke from my morning nap with Lucy, the door was open. I was covered with a sheet which was a good thing since Ed was visiting. He had come to take mom to lunch. Lucy was hungry again so I lowered the sheet and she began to nurse. I was turned away from the door just in case, and it was a good thing. When I glanced over my shoulder Ed was standing in the door watching me. He smiled as I turned away from him. Someone closed the bedroom door, I was not sure which of them did that.

When the bedroom door closed I got even more turned on. I suppose I felt safe because I began to rub my labia. Up and down with my finger slipping inside to lubricate the movements. My muscles tensed as I worked myself toward an orgasm. I was fighting the urge to vigorously rub my clit, when I heard the moan come through the wall. Oh shit, I thought, they are doing it now.

"Dear god fuck me," My mother's voice came through the wall. "Yes fuck my pussy."

It was at that moment that I reached my own orgasm. I came over and over while my mother's words spurred me on. I could only guess the effect they had on her lover.

It took me another half hour before I felt prepared to move my ass to the shower. Fortunately Lucy fell asleep right after she finished sucking on my nipple. I was beginning to change the way I thought about things. It was subtle, but I hadn't been at all shocked when I heard my mother say "Fuck my pussy." It seemed almost the natural thing to say at a moment like that. I ran that around in my mind, while I showered before beginning my day.

Since Mom and Ed were in her bedroom, I carried my clothes with me. I didn't want to accidentally run into Ed while half dressed. On the way from the shower I noticed that Mom's door was open. Ed was not to be seen but mom was laying naked on the bed. Mom looked like a fifty year old woman laying on her back. Her breasts, which were usually moderate in size, were flattened against her chest. The deflation and sag were evident for anyone to see. Her hips were a bit wide as were my own. She had a bit of a tummy when she was standing, but it wasn't as noticeable when she lay on her back. All in all I would say she was average for a woman her age. Just as I was average for a woman my age.

A breast feeding woman my age would have only slight boob sag. My breast were a full cup size larger than before. I had also gained some weight, so how much I would shrink after Lucy was weaned was questionable. For the first time in my life I had a tummy, so that was a bit of a concern to me. All in all though I wasn't bad for my age, just as mom wasn't bad for hers.

I walked by her room without making any comment. I went into the kitchen where I began heating left over soup for my lunch. I had the kitchen TV turned to the national new channel when she came into the room.

"So what are you planning to do this evening?" Mom asked from the door. She had at least

slipped into a knit top and jeans.

"I don't have any idea, is there something you want to do?" I asked.

"We could take that fancy new baby carriage and go to the park. There is a concert there this evening."

"Since when are you a music lover?" I asked.

"Let's say a little birdie told me that Larry would be there."

"Why would you want me to see Larry?" I asked

"Not Larry sweetie. He is going to be with his new friend. She plays in the university's faculty classical sextet or something. I thought you might like to get a look at her." I expected that it was mom's way of helping me put a period at the end of that part of my life.

"How the hell do you know that?"

"The Adams Mafia of course. Mark saw him out with her and did a background check on her." Mark was my cousin. He was the son of my Uncle Fred. Uncle Fred was a real estate developer of some kind. His son had opted to be a Deputy Sheriff instead of entering the family business.

"Well, what time?"

"If we stop by the Pizza Shack on the way we can have dinner there. If that is the plan, then we need to leave here about five."

"I expect that the cobwebs will be clear by then, sure why not," I agreed.

Larry's new lover was very attractive but in a different way than me. She was well groomed, but she moved in a more sexual way. His new girlfriend had an easy sexuality about her. She might dress like the lady of the manor but she had the moves of the stable girl. I would have been skeptical of my own judgment if my mom hadn't whispered "Slut," in my ear.

Larry's girlfriend was the attraction for me. As her group placed classical music I could not help but run my life against the world around me. My mom who was twice my age was getting more of a life than me. My husband had a sexy new girlfriend. Even my partner at work who was gay had a better life than I did. The only really positive think in my life was Lucy. Everything else was just an existence

I began at that moment to change the way I saw things. The way I thought of myself and my life was forever changed. I couldn't tell, if it was the shock of Larry's new life, or the loss of my old life. Whatever caused it, I knew my life would never be the same. It might take a long time to change, but I was determined to do it. Not change it just to change, but to change my life into something I could enjoy not just walk through. I could never be the 'screw anybody' type slut, but I could be more open to new things. If the right man or men came along, I could learn to be more open to new experiences. That was the decision I made sitting under the stars that night.

When Lucy decided she wanted to nurse, I just pulled down my top and put her to my nipple. I forced myself not to care if people watched. Seeing both men and women look at me actually turned me on. If I had been alone, I would have masturbated. Since I wasn't, I tried to enjoy the feeling of arousal for what it was. I found to my surprise that just being hot was a nice feeling. It was a sort of fog that softened things. Wounds weren't as raw and people seemed to act a little better. I approved of the feeling.

Mom smiled at me as I breast fed Lucy. I didn't even want to know what that was about. Larry saw us but made no move to speak, so we didn't either. During the drive home mom said, "So now you know why he left. It had nothing to do with you. Larry is just like every other man."

I almost said something about him not living a lie, but decided that it would do no good to hurt her. Mom and Ed had to work out their own problems. I would not get involved and that was my final decision on the matter.

The second of my two days off was really my only full day off, since part of the first day was spent recovering from the 24 hour shift. I slept late, then took Lucy shopping. I did the shopping while Lucy rode in her laid back stroller. I noticed that I was more relaxed somehow than I usually was when in public. The men around me seemed to notice me more. I got a lot of smiles and even a stare or two. I couldn't tell if their reaction were different or if how I perceived them was. Either way I left the mall feeling mildly aroused.