Chapter 9

When we got down to camp we found Jeff and Sarah sitting by the fire talking. They looked up as we approached.

“Hey- did you all have a good afternoon? We could see you talking up there”, Sarah asked.

“Yeah. It was a nice time. Matt’s pretty talented with a pencil”, said Jen.

“Really?” said Sarah.

“Yeah, I’ve seen some of his sketches. He’s good, and he can do them pretty quickly. I wish I could do half as good”, Jeff said.

“Aw- thanks, you two. I’m not all that good, but I have fun.” I replied.

“Can I see some of them?”, asked Sarah.

“Sure, here’s my journal.” I said, as I got the journal out of the waterproof cover and handed it to her.

“Thanks!”

“So, Jeff- how was the fishing?” I asked.

“Pretty good! I caught a couple big Char. I thought we could bake them in the reflector oven for dinner”

“Sounds good! Is everyone getting hungry? How’re you feeling, Sarah?”

“I’m better. I think the Ibuprofen helped a lot. I must have been more feverish then I realized.”

“Want to help me get stuff going, Jen?”

“Sure, Matt.”

Jen and I got dinner going while Sarah looked through my journal. Jeff set up the reflector oven while the fire finished burning down to coals.

The soup heated nicely while the char baked in the oven. The smell of fresh fish filled the air.

“Matt- these are really good! I never was much good at drawing anything. I’m enjoying your journal, too”, said Sarah.

“Thanks! I didn’t draw much until I got out of school, and for some reason, I got interested in it. I took a short course at the community center, and got some books, too. Then it was just practicing.”

“These last two, of Jen, why did you do two just alike?”

“Well, now there’s a story to that.” I laughed.

“Matt!” Jen warned with a glower.

“Just the facts! Jen thinks that I “dolled up” the one I did of the two of you by the fire when we first found you. I didn’t agree, and told her I’d do one of her as straight-up as I could, and another one “dolled up”.”

Sarah took a closer look, and Jeff leaned over her shoulder to look, himself.

“I don’t think you dolled up the first one, Matt. It looks pretty much like I remember it”, said Jeff.

“I didn’t have that view, but it looks fine to me”, said Sarah.

“Hmmmm- now the others ... I can see what you did there, Matt, almost like you used makeup on her face ... Ok, I see what else you did. It’s sort of like a glamor shot photo.” This from Jeff.

“I really didn’t do a lot. If I were going for sexy, I could do the full Vargas Girl treatment.”

Hey you guys, I’m right here with you! You don’t need to talk about me like I can’t hear you!” Jen chimed in.

Sarah laughed. “We were talking about the sketches, not you. I think he did a really good job capturing your looks, Jen.”

“OK- I surrender! I still think he’s too kind, but I can see I’m heavily outnumbered.”

“I’m not one to say “I told ya so.”, but...” I grinned at Jen and gave her an exaggerated wink.

“Grrrrr! OK Mister! Rub it in!”

I did my best Groucho leer and eyebrow treatment (admittedly not really all that good). “Of course my dear- anytime, anyplace!’’, I sniggered.

“Oh, you ... you ... GUY!”

I was laughing too hard to make a comeback. Jeff and Sarah were laughing too.

Jen could see she was losing, so she said. “All right- I think you all have had enough fun for a while. I think dinner’s ready anyhow.”

Dinner was good. We demolished the fish, and the soup didn’t last long either. I made a chocolate-cherry dump cake in the Dutch Oven for dessert, and we polished that off as well. Sarah’s appetite was better, which was reassuring. Jen and I cleaned up and made a pot of coffee, and sat around the fire chatting and sipping it.

I could already see a dynamic had developed between Sarah and Jeff. They sat almost, but not quite, within each other’s personal space. There were lots of little glances and and the occasional half-smile when they thought no one was looking. I found it rather amusing. Jen wasn’t quite so amused, more like somewhat exasperated.

Eventually, we all ran down and trooped off to our tents. It had been a long day for Jeff and I, and I’m sure Jen and Sarah were even more tired.

I laid there for a while, but couldn’t seem to get comfortable enough to sleep. Finally I got up and took my pad and sleeping bag out by the fire. Jeff didn’t even stir.

It was a beautiful night and I figured to just sleep under the stars when I finally wound down. I could always sleep under our canoe if need be

Trying to be reasonably quiet, I scraped around a bit to get any sticks and other debris out from under where I was going to put the pad before lying it down. I sort of folded up the bag against the canoe to use it for a backrest.

The fire was low, and I tossed a couple of medium-sized sticks into it to build it up a bit, then sat down on the pad, propped my back up a bit against the sleeping bag, and looked up at the stars. It was a moonless night, so there was nothing to block out the stars. I picked out a few of the constellations, but then just watched the stars, and thought about nothing in particular.

I don’t know just how long it was before I heard the zipper on the door of the girl’s tent slide. The door opened, and Jen slipped out.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” I said quietly.

“Jen jumped like I’d goosed her and made a little squeak. She spun around looking for where my voice had come from.

“Matt? I thought you were asleep! What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, I couldn’t fall asleep. I thought I’d just come out here where I wouldn’t disturb Jeff with my tossing and turning ... although he didn’t even stir when I got up and got my stuff.”

“I dozed a bit, but I woke up and had to use the bathroom. I guess I had a little too much coffee so close to going to bed. You startled me so much, I’m surprised I didn’t pee already!”, she glared at me across the fire.

I laughed softly. “Well, I guess I’ll have to apologize for that. Don’t let me keep you from it.”

That earned me another glare. “Be right back.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

She went up the slope to the privy and out of sight. She wasn’t gone very long.

“Well, I guess I ought to try to sleep.”

“G’night then, Jen.”

She turned to the tent, then back to me. “I’m really not sleepy. Could I sit with you and talk for a while?”

“Sure thing. Let me turn this pad sideways and we can brace against the canoe.”

I moved the pad around and used my bag to pad our backs, before sitting down again. Jen sat next to me, but almost as far away from me as was possible on the pad. I tossed a few more sticks into the fire.

“Jen, have I done something to offend you or upset you?”

“No, why?”

“I don’t know, you just seem to oscillate between friendly and standoff-ish. If I’ve done something you don’t like, please tell me, so we can get straight. We’re going to be basically living in each other’s pockets for a while, so I’d rather not have any misunderstandings between us.”

“I honestly don’t know what’s going on, Matt. I think what happened this morning did something to me. I’m just unsettled and edgy all the time. I’m not sure how I’ll be when we get back on the water.”

“Look, Jen. Things happen- they happen to you, me, Jeff, to everyone. You can’t let a mishap destroy your confidence. I admit that I don’t know you hardly at all, but I think it’s not just that. You and Sarah had done great up until now. You had stayed at almost a constant interval ahead of Jeff and I for over a week, and now you’re wondering If you’re up to it?”

“Okay- I guess it’s not just this morning. It’s ... I don’t know ... everything...” Jen stared into the fire for a bit “You remember this afternoon, I told you about the guy that walked out on me?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it was more than that, at least to me. We were actually talking about moving in together, making plans ... then I went to his place earlier than he obviously expected. I had a key (that’s how far we’d gone), and I opened the door to find him and this red-headed Barbie doll who tended bar at a place we hung out at fucking on the couch.”

“Ouch!”

“Yeah, well, I was stunned, but I just walked past them, picked up the few things that I’d left there, tossed the key on the night stand, and walked out. He was gabbling away that this wasn’t what it looked like, until I flipped him the bird as I stood in the door on my way out. That’s when he called me a stick woman, and so on.”

Jen picked up a stick and stirred the fire. She had tears on her cheeks. “Matt, I thought he loved me. I know I was more than half in love with him. That was a huge blow to my self-confidence. Not just what he’d said, but to my sense of judgment. I haven’t let myself get close to any man since then, and that was nearly a year ago. In a way, I think that was what got me interested in doing this trip, when one of the women in the club started talking it up, so I could prove just how tough and adventuresome I was. Now, I don’t know ... Matt, everything is all jumbled up. I like you, and I enjoy talking to you, but then I get all tensed up and push away. I think of getting back on the water, and my stomach knots up. I know in my head that I can handle it, but then I flash back on this morning and I’m not sure...”

“Jen- first off, I know that you can handle the paddling. You did everything right today, no matter what you think! You both had your emergency kits with you. You held on to your paddle, and stayed close to Sarah until you could help her ashore. Once you got there, you made sure she was warm and comfortable. Like I said this afternoon, and you admitted, you were already starting to think of a plan to find your canoe and retrieve it, or get your supplies. That’s all anyone can do in those circumstances! Don’t go beating yourself up because you took a spill and your canoe got hung! I’ve had that happen in lots milder water than this.” I turned to face her. “Secondly- you’re letting this guy live inside your head rent-free. Nearly a year, and he’s still fucking with you! You don’t have anything to prove to anybody! You’re strong, smart, attractive, and any man should feel lucky if he has your attention.”