Remembering Fear

Honey knew that her younger sister was struggling at school. On several occasions, she had tried to tell her parents that they needed to take an interest in Becky's schooling; but they were both so self involved, that her advice was never heard.

She got back home from work on the Monday afternoon to find the house in total silence. She walked into the living room to find Becky sitting looking totally dejected on the sofa.

"What's up love? And where is everyone?" Honey felt the first twinge of unease.

"Mum and dad have decided that they needed a little holiday." Becky murmured in a subdued voice. "They went out this morning and booked a last minute trip to Spain; and they're due to fly out in the next hour or so."

"For how long?" Honey asked in the same flat tone as her sister.

Becky looked up at her with wide blue eyes. "It's one of these golden years' trips, you know for the retired folks. Go and spend the winter in some sunnier climate."

"How long?" The shock left her numb.

"Three months, maybe longer."

Honey dropped down on the sofa next to her little sister. She stared unseeing at the wall across from her, her thoughts in chaos for a moment.

"Of all the rotten... , selfish... , inconsiderate... ," she trailed off as the blind impotent fury engulfed her.

Her sister gave a little sob next to her and Honey turned to hug her.

"Oh love." She murmured consolingly.

"I tried to tell them..." Becky half sobbed.

"Tell them what ducks?"

"I've got this letter from my teacher." She sniffed tearfully as she waved the envelope in front of her big sister.

Honey took it from Becky with a sinking feeling of inevitability.

She tore open the envelope and opened up the hand written piece of paper.

'Mrs and Mr. Bird,

I think that it is imperative that we meet as soon as possible regarding the problems your daughter Rebecca seems to be having in class.

I therefore propose that you meet me here tomorrow (Tuesday 28th September) at four thirty.

Yours most sincerely.

M J Bea.'

It took Honey several minutes to decipher the terrible scrawl across the page.

"Oh dear!" she sighed as it finally made sense to her.

"What does he say?" Becky asked with a kind of doomed 'I already know so please make it a quick death.'

"He wants to meet up with mum and dad tomorrow."

"Well at least that's one humiliation I don't have to live through." Becky half sobbed, half laughed.

Honey gave a sigh of resignation and then stood up. "Come on love," she said grabbing her sister by the hand and pulling her to her feet. "Let's go and get some dinner then we can talk about what's worrying you at school."

"But what's the point? You can't get mum and dad back, so that they can go to that meeting, so why worry over it?"

"Because in the absence of mum and dad," Honey said through gritted teeth. "I'm your legal guardian, so I shall have to meet with your teacher tomorrow and..." She looked at her sister firmly. "I want to go there armed to the teeth with everything that's troubling you so that we can sort it out between us."

Her younger sister looked at her with something like wonder on her face. "Oh Honey! Do you mean it? You'll be the one to take care of me? You'll go and talk to my teacher and CARE about what he tells you?"

Honey gave her fourteen year old sister a big hug as the tears rolled down both of their cheeks. "I care pet," she whispered softly.

Honey finished work early the following afternoon on the pretext of a dentist's appointment. She rushed home at three o'clock and dove straight into the shower, then with a fluffy towel wrapped around her torso she scanned her wardrobe anxiously for something suitable to wear.

Honey worked at the local animal sanctuary, where she worked in the admin centre, but she also spent a lot of time out and about the site, and her daily work outfit was casual old trousers or casual old jeans; with the emphasis on the 'old' part.

She settled reluctantly for her one 'good' outfit; in the form of a fitted pencil skirt that finished just above her knees and a silken type blouse that clung to her shapely curves.

She pinned her long fair hair up into, what she hoped would be a no nonsense look; and prayed that the finished affect would make her look older than her twenty four years.

She wanted to look responsible and capable in front of Becky's teacher. She didn't want to give him any cause to start questioning Becky's home life.

Between them Becky and Honey had decided that their parents had been called away to mum's sick mother. Grandma lived in Cornwall and mum and dad had gone down there to take care of her while she was feeling under the weather.

Honey gave a sad little sigh as she dusted on a light makeup.

All of her life she had known that her parents hadn't really wanted her; that her parents had a life and each other to the point where ANYONE else just got in the way.

Honey didn't begrudge their self-indulgent love for each other. She didn't even blame them for their carelessness at getting pregnant in their thirties and having a child they KNEW that they didn't want.

She did start to get annoyed though when ten years later at the age of forty three Mrs Bird had become pregnant AGAIN.

Honey hoped and prayed that this time it could be different, that they could love their new baby as parents should love their children.

It wasn't. They didn't, couldn't. Wouldn't even try.

The knock on her door caused her to turn with a confident smile.

"So babes; how do I look?" she asked lightly as she held her arms out so that Becky could get a good look.

"You look beautiful Honey." Becky smiled sincerely.

"Ahh! Get away with you," Honey laughed dismissively.

Becky looked Honey solemnly in the eye. "You ARE beautiful Honey."

Honey smiled, as she reached out to give Becky an affectionate hug. "So are we ready to go and face the dragon?"

"Oh I wouldn't call him a dragon exactly." Becky smiled mysteriously as they left the house.

Honey frowned suspiciously. "What would you call him?"

"Well, sir to his face." Becky giggled suddenly, and for the first time in Honey's memory her little sister sounded like the teenage girl she was supposed to be.

"And what did SIR say about me going instead of mum and dad?"

"Oh he was very sweet and understanding and thought it was the sensible thing to do." Becky gave a dreamy little sigh and Honey shot her another suspicious look.

They pulled into the deserted school parking lot and the sisters walked hand in hand through the empty corridors.

"I remember when I came here." Honey murmured distantly as she travelled back in time to HER school days, remembering some happy times, and some not so happy times.

"Did you love it?" her sister asked curiously. "I'll bet you were dead popular?"

Honey looked at her sister in surprise. Was that envy she heard in Becky's voice?

"Not really, why would I have been?"

"Well... , you're so, beautiful... , so clever and, confident." Becky stammered.

"Beauty isn't everything Miss Bird!"

Honey turned in surprise at the sound of that rich masculine voice. She swallowed the lump that came to her throat and silently willed her heart to start beating again.

He was gorgeous. He was the knight in shining armour; the hero - come to save the fair maiden. He was big and strong and just way to sexy to be a teacher of teenage girls.

"Hello," she whispered huskily.

His deep brown eyes narrowed on her for a moment.

"Miss Bird." He nodded coldly to Honey as he swept past them carrying a steaming mug. "This way if you please ladies."

His long legs carried him quickly down the long empty corridor and the sisters; with their much shorter legs had to scurry to catch up.

It wasn't so bad for Becky who was wearing her traditional jeans and sneakers.

But for Honey in her fitted little skirt, her steps were shorter still; and with her necessary stiletto shoes...

Honey was painfully aware of her shoes and that noise; the tippy, tip, tip as she ran.

Judging by his little snort of disgust; Mr. Bea was none too impressed either.

"Becky if you could sit out here while I talk to your ... sister?"

He had thoughtfully placed a chair just outside his class room door so that Becky could sit while she waited.

"Thank you sir!" she sighed dreamily.

He shot her an absentminded smile; totally missing her look of adulation.

He led Honey to the chair next to his desk and invited her to sit. His voice, as before was cold and courteous and faintly disapproving and Honey shot him a look.

'Now what the hell have I ever done to you?' she wanted to asked in confusion.

He sat in his own larger chair with a small sigh of satisfaction and Honey had to bite back a little giggle as she pictured the king sitting on his throne.

He gave her a suspicious glance as he picked up on her quickly choked back laughter.

"This is a serious matter Miss Bird." He reprimanded solemnly.

"That is why I am here." She agreed with a nod and a polite little smile.

His eyes narrowed on her lips and he scowled irritably.

"Your sister is not doing well in class and I think that you may be the cause of it."

Honey looked at him in shock. "Me!" she exclaimed. "What did I do?"

He frowned again at her outraged innocence.

"I heard you both, in the corridor." He jerked his head in the direction of the classroom door.

"Yes I know where it is." She agreed tonelessly. "I just don't see your point."

"She envies you," he said accusingly. "She worships the ground that you walk on." His eyes narrowed as though she was on trial and he was the chief prosecutor. "All she ever talks about is her big sister Honey. How pretty Honey is how smart and clever and good Honey is." He sneered.

Honey felt a tightness forming in her chest. The two of them had always been close, had had to be since there was no one else around who might be even vaguely interested in their wellbeing.

But Honey hadn't realised quite how much Becky had come to depend on her.

"Oh you stupid fool!" she hissed savagely. "Why didn't you see it?"

"I beg your pardon Miss Bird?" Mr. Bea looked at her quizzically.

She gave a little sigh of resignation. "All right, I agree that there are things that I need to discuss with Becky – at home, that are private." She nodded firmly. "But that has nothing to do with what is going wrong for her here in YOUR classroom." She leaned forward and poked him accusingly in the chest.

He sat back in surprise at her unprovoked attack. "I think that you are very much mistaken if you think you can just put the blame of Becky's distraction at the feet of the school."

"Not the school," she denied quietly. "I blame you."

His eyes widened in surprise and Honey had to fight the sudden desire to 'dive right on in' to those deep mysterious pools.

"I don't know what you're referring to Miss Bird."

"Oh please!" she laughed in disbelief. "You have to realise that probably half – if not all the girls in your class are deeply and madly in love with you?"

The colour swept up his cheeks and Honey realised with shock, that he genuinely had no idea of the effect he had on the females around him.

"My sister is failing in class because she is distracted by her 'dishy' teacher." She arched her brows and looked him straight in the eyes. "And I'd be willing to bet my month's salary that she's not the only girl who is slipping."

He stared hypnotised into her deep emerald green eyes. The first thing he'd noticed; along with that silky blond hair scooped up; he suspected, to try to make her look a little older – which it didn't. That satin blouse that just clung to those luscious breasts that he just wanted to feel in his hands.

He'd noticed the little fitted skirt that showed off her tiny waist and curvy hips. Short enough to REALLY show her long silky smooth incredibly sexy legs.

But it was the eyes that had hooked him; bight green with the shadow of – something, in that incredibly beautiful, impossibly kind face. Her pale skin and little button nose over those kissably pink lips.

He imagined how it would feel to hold her in his arms. She'd said he was dishy!

"Mr. Bea?"

Those beautiful green eyes were now narrowed in impatient puzzlement.

He came back to the here and now and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Forgive me Miss Bird; I was suddenly struck by a thought." His voice sounded husky and he was surprised as the colour came to her cheeks. Dear god she hadn't picked up on his wayward thoughts!

"Oh?" She sounded so calm! How could she sound so calm and collected when her insides were going into fits in response to this man?

"Yes I believe that if I can give Becky some extra tutoring, and help her get back in line with everyone else, then..." He glanced at her pointedly. "Once you've had your 'little talk' with her and resolved her personal issues..."

"You'll give her extra lessons then?" Honey stood up suddenly and nodded in satisfaction. "What evening shall I tell Becky to meet with you?"

He looked at her blankly for a moment as her breast suddenly came in line with his eyes and filled his vision – along with any thoughts.

"I'm afraid we can't do this here," he murmured in a distracted tone. "The school has rules about pupils being on the premises after school hours."

"So where then?" Honey frowned down at him impatiently.

"Well obviously my home is out of the question, so I think it best if it's at your home, at a time where you can be sure to be there."

A look of panic came to Honey's eyes, which she quickly masked by the simple act of looking away from him.

"Thursday?" she asked abruptly. "After six thirty?"

"Fine."

He nodded, standing as well, so that now he towered over Honey; forcing her to tilt her head if she wished to look into his eyes once more.

"I'll tell Becky what we've arranged for her." Honey pulled her hand bag on to her shoulder and turned to leave.

"Good, and tell her to have her maths books to hand."

He fell back into his chair and watched as Honey strode across the room, almost as though she was running away from him.

His eyes fixed onto the sway of her hips and slid down to the curve of her legs.

"Goodnight Mr. Bea." She called out softly as she opened the classroom door.

She didn't wait long enough for him to respond so he never even bothered to open his mouth.

In truth though; her soft voice wishing him goodnight had set off a chain of fantasies in his mind that rooted him to the chair, for a little while.