Thanksgiving at Dick and Jane's House - a Randy Reader

by Lubrican

Copyright© 2010 by Lubrican

Humor Sex Story: Thanksgiving is a uniquely North American holiday. The Great White North prepares the way in October, and then in November, here in America we take over and celebrate it a little differently. Come along now and let's learn how Dick and Jane have fun at Thanksgiving.

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   mt/ft   Ma/ft   mt/Fa   Consensual   Humor   Incest   Oral Sex   Pregnancy   .

Author's note: It might be helpful for you to know that the Dick and Jane Randy Readers do not consist of a running narrative about their lives. Each story is independent of the others. If it helps further, you may consider them Dick and Jane stories from alternate dimensions. Dick is, after all, going to grow up to become an expert in string theory. At least in one of those dimensions. That might be why, in that dimension, Jane prefers Spot. But that's another story.

Dick and Jane At Thanksgiving - A Randy Reader
by Lubrican

See Dick?

See Dick smiling?

Smile, Dick, smile!

Dick is smiling because it's almost Thanksgiving, and every year at Thanksgiving he gets to see his Uncle Bob and Aunt Jill.

Dick loves to see his aunt and uncle.

Why does Dick love to see them?

Because Dick loves to stare at Aunt Jill's breasts. Aunt Jill has big, firm breasts, and Dick is a horny teenager.

And sometimes Aunt Jill wears filmy, little babydoll pajamas to bed. Dick has stayed up before, bent over for hours, peeping through the keyhole in his door, just to see Aunt Jill walk from the bathroom to the guest bedroom in those filmy, little babydoll pajamas.

All that gives Dick a big hardon.

What's a hardon?

Well the boys reading this already know. That's when a boy's penis gets hard and long. It used to be called a hard-long, but that's hard to say. If you don't believe me just try and say that out loud ten times fast.

I told you so. So it just got shortened to hard-on.

What do you do with a hardon, you ask?

Well, you can put some lard on your hardon and rub it in really good until some different looking lard comes out of your hardon, at which point it won't be hard or long any more.

But let's not get all distracted by science, okay?

Dick isn't the only one excited about them coming for Thanksgiving.

See Jane?

See Jane smiling?

Smile, Jane, smile!

Jane is smiling because every time her aunt and uncle come for Thanksgiving she gets to sit on Uncle Bob's lap and get hugs from him. Jane loves hugs from Uncle Bob. His lap is always very lumpy, but Jane doesn't mind. His lump fits perfectly between her long teenage legs, and feels really good pushing against her down there.

Why does it feel good pushing against her down there?

Well, that's more science. Maybe we'll get to that later.

See Dick and Jane's mommy and daddy? See how flushed Mommy is? See how full the front of Daddy's pants look?

That's because they're looking out the window, watching Uncle Bob and Aunt Jill get out of their car.

They're here! Yay!

Why are mommy and daddy so excited?

Hear Daddy saying "Did you get a new tape? I can't wait to make another video."

That must be why they're so excited.

They have a new, blank video tape, and they want to make a new home movie with Aunt Jill and Uncle Bob!

I bet making movies is fun! Don't you? If it wasn't fun, then why would so many people do it?

See Uncle Bob and Aunt Jill come inside?

See Uncle Bob hug and kiss Mommy? They're glad to see each other.

See Daddy hug and kiss Aunt Jill? They're glad to see each other too.

Kiss, kiss, kiss!

Just look at those silly adults! They think they're dogs or something. See them licking each other's mouths? How silly. I hope they don't start barking at each other.

See Dick and Jane?

See how excited they are to see Uncle Bob and Aunt Jill?

See how they come running and wiggle their way between the two pairs of hugging and kissing adults?

Run, Dick, Run!

Wiggle, Jane, wiggle!

Dick and Jane want their own hugs and kisses. It's only fair.

See Jane rubbing herself all over Uncle Bob's front as she kisses him. She must really like her Uncle Bob.

Oh no! Uncle Bob thinks he's a dog again!

Oh well. Lick, Uncle Bob, lick!

See Dick hugging Aunt Jill and pressing his chest hard against those big, soft breasts he likes so much. See Aunt Jill rub her lower half against his lower half as she tells him how much he's grown in a year. That's called balance in nature. He rubs high and she rubs low, so everything evens out.

Boy! I just can't keep from talking about science, can I?

See Dick and Jane in the hallway.

What are they doing?

They are listening. That's what they're doing.

We must be very quiet.

What are they listening to?

Well, about an hour ago, Mommy and Daddy took Aunt Jill and Uncle Bob into the guest bedroom, to show it to them and help them put away the clothes in their suitcases. They closed the door and locked it too.

I wonder why they did that? Maybe Aunt Jill and Uncle Bob brought surprise presents for Dick and Jane, and Mommy and Daddy want to make sure the teens don't accidentally find out.

And why did Daddy take the video camera and tripod in there with them? Maybe they're going to make a movie of how happy Dick and Jane are when they get their presents, and want to teach Uncle Bob or Aunt Jill how to work the camera.

You think?

But wait! Now there are strange noises coming through the door to the guest bedroom. Rhythmic noises. Like squeaky bed springs when someone is jumping on the bed. And moans. Like when someone has a stomach ache.

Hear Dick say "I think they're jumping on the bed!"

Hear Jane say "I don't think so. That's not allowed."

Isn't that typical? Teenaged siblings never seem to agree on anything, do they?

Hear Dick say "It sounds like Aunt Jill has a stomach ache in there."

Hear Jane say "I bet she got car sick on the way here. Wanna go get some cookies while nobody's watching?"

Isn't that typical too? Teenagers are always eager to do something they're not supposed to do.

Hear Uncle Bob through the door, saying "I'm cumming!" kind of loudly?

Of course you don't. That's because it's our job to stay with Dick and Jane, and they're in the kitchen, sneaking cookies.

Besides, Uncle Bob is clearly confused. How could he be coming when he's already here?

Hear Daddy saying "Oh fuck, I'm getting my cookies!"?

Of course you don't. We're still in the kitchen, where Dick and Jane are wiping up cookie crumbs from the counter.


How can Daddy be getting cookies when he's not even in the kitchen?

I'm so confused!

See how dark it is outside. That's because it's nighttime.

See Jane. It's almost bedtime and she's all fresh and clean from her shower.

You can tell it's almost bedtime because she's wearing her pajamas.

Daddy got her "big girl" pajamas when she turned sixteen.

Well how about that? They look just like Aunt Jill's pajamas!

And why not? Aunt Jill is certainly a big girl!

See Jane sit on Uncle Bob's lap to kiss him good night.

See her wiggle on his lap.

Wiggle, Jane, wiggle!

That's because his lap is lumpy, like I told you about already.

Hear Jane ask Uncle Bob to tell her a bedtime story.

See Uncle Bob smile. He's so happy his niece likes him and wants to spend quality time with him.

Hear Uncle Bob tell her he'll take her to her bedroom and tuck in her while telling her a long bedtime story.


That sounded funny. Tuck in her?

I bet he meant "tuck her in." It was probably just a slip of the tongue because he's so excited about telling her a story.

How lucky Jane is to have a caring uncle who will spend quality time with her.

See Aunt Jill. She's all dressed for bed in her big girl pajamas too. She's coming out of the guest bedroom and walking down the hall.

Where is she going?

Probably to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

See the bathroom door open. Dick has just taken his bedtime shower and is coming out to go to his room.

Dick doesn't wear pajamas. He just wears a pair of jockey shorts to sleep in.

See Aunt Jill bump into Dick as he comes out of the bathroom. See them surprise each other.


What's that Aunt Jill is asking Dick?

"Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

What a funny thing to say to a teenaged boy dressed only in bulging briefs.

Uh oh.

Dick's briefs are bulging. We know what that means.

Dick has a hardon!

Right in front of his Aunt Jill!

I bet that's because he can see those big, soft breasts through the filmy fabric of her babydoll pajamas.

But Dick is a smart boy.

Hear him say "What pocket?"

Aunt Jill must be confused by bumping into him. See her slide her hand into the waistband of his bulging briefs. She thinks they are a pocket! How silly!

Dick must know she is confused. See him take her to his bedroom. I bet he's going to help her lie down on his bed to rest a while, so she can recover from her being-bumped-into episode.

How lucky Aunt Jill is to have a nephew who cares about her health and welfare so much.

See Uncle Bob.

He's sitting on the edge of Jane's bed.

See Jane.

She's lying on her back on top of the covers.

I thought Uncle Bob was going to tuck her in!

I bet she's cold in those jammies. You can see right through them!

And her nipples are all stiff and turgid.

That happens when nipples get cold. I could explain it, but that's more science.

Hear the story he's telling her. It's about Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.

I love that story, don't you?

See Uncle Bob wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

Hear him complaining that it's too hot in the bedroom.

That must be why he's stripping down to his boxers.

See him helping Jane strip down to her panties.

Now we understand why Uncle Bob didn't tuck her in.

He must be worried she'll get overheated too.

What's Jane asking him?

"What is Little Red Riding Hood afraid the Big Bad Wolf will do to her?"

Hear Uncle Bob saying he'll show her.

Jane is so lucky to have such an interested and helpful uncle.

See Uncle Bob lean over Jane.

Hear Jane say "What big lips you have, Uncle Bob!"

Hear Uncle Bob say "The better to kiss you with, my dear."

See him demonstrating how the wolf would kiss Little Red.

Hear Uncle Bob say "And the better to suck your luscious big girl nipples with, my dear!"

See him showing her how the wolf would suck Miss Hood's nipples until they were even longer and harder than before.

Who would have thought a warm sucking mouth would affect nipples the same way cold does?

Hear Uncle Bob say "And the better to eat your tasty teen twat with!"

See Uncle Bob taking off Jane's panties!

See Uncle Bob shove his big face, with those big lips, right up against Jane's sixteen-year-old pussy!

Oh my! Uncle Bob hasn't shaved since morning! His stubble must be very prickly!

I bet that's why Jane is writhing around and squealing so much.

Hear Jane squealing about how she's cumming?

I'm not surprised. Uncle Bob was confused earlier, in the guest bedroom, while he was putting clothes away. And Jane has some of Uncle Bob's genetic material in her body. So it's understandable how she can be confused in the same way he was.

Sorry. More science. sigh

What's Uncle Bob doing now?

He's taking his boxers off! He must still be hot.

Uh oh.

Uncle Bob has a big boner. That's another name for hardon.

Will Jane notice it?

If she does will she be embarrassed?

I sure would be if I saw my uncle's big boner.

But then I'm a man, so maybe that's different.

Uh oh.

She did notice!

Hear Jane say "Uncle Bob! What a big boner you have!"

Hear Uncle Bob say "The better to fuck you with, my dear!"

Uncle Bob sure knows how to tell a story, doesn't he! He's already teaching Jane a new word: Fuck!

Hear Jane express some concern.

Hear her say "Gee whiz, Uncle Bob. It's a big boner. Is it going to hurt when you fuck me with it?"

Hear Uncle Bob express amazement.

Hear him ask "Am I to understand you already know the meaning of the word 'fuck'?"

See Jane nodding vigorously to indicate she does?

Jane is good at non-verbal communication.

Hear Uncle Bob saying "So you're on the pill?"

See Jane shaking her head vigorously to indicate she is not?

Jane is so good at non-verbal communication!

Hear Uncle Bob being curious about his niece's welfare.

"Have you been letting those pimply faced boys fuck that sweet little pussy of yours, Jane?"

Hear Jane augment her non-verbal communication with verbal communication. "No way, Uncle Bob. I'm not allowed to fuck. At least I don't think I'm allowed to fuck. I haven't actually asked if I'm allowed, though."

Hear Uncle Bob caring about whether or not Jane's physical health is normal "So when was your last period?"

See Jane rise above being offended by an extended family member asking extremely personal questions.

Hear her say "About two weeks ago ... why?"

See Uncle Bob get all flushed and even more excited.

Hear him say "No reason," and notch the tip of his big adult prick in the opening of Jane's tight, teen pussy.

Hear Uncle Bob warn Jane that, while sometimes life can be painful, there is always hope.

"This might hurt for just a little bit, but I promise it will feel really good right after that."

Hear Jane being brave.

"Okay, Uncle Bob, I know you love me and I trust you."

This is a wonderful example of how a man can say one thing, and a woman can hear another. But that is psychology, which is sort of another branch of science, so we'll just move along.

See Uncle Bob sweating.

Sweat, Uncle Bob, sweat!

See Uncle Bob heave.

Heave, Uncle Bob, heave!

See Uncle Bob shove.

Shove, Uncle Bob, shove!

See his big old boner disappear inside Jane's tight, teen pussy!

It's like magic!

See a tear form in the corner of Jane's right eye? Poor, brave Jane.

See Uncle Bob's curly brown pubic hairs mesh with Jane's curly blonde ones.

I hope they don't get caught, like Velcro. They would be stuck like that forever!


Hear me heave a big sigh of relief. Whew!

That's because Uncle Bob just pulled his big, knobby boner almost out of Jane. Their pubic hair didn't get caught! Maybe he was worried about that too.

See Uncle Bob ram his long hardon back into Jane again. He seems to think there is some of his hardon still outside of her. Look at him push hard and wiggle back and forth!

I don't think Jane is feeling any more pain. See her smiling.

Smile, Jane, smile!

See her hugging her uncle tightly.

Hug, Jane, hug!

I think she's forgiven him for the pain he caused when he shoved that big thing inside her.

What a wonderful, forgiving girl Jane is.

See the evidence of how old people get confused easily. See Uncle Bob pulling his boner almost out of Jane and then shoving it back in, over and over. He can't make up his mind about whether he wants to have it in her or not!

See Jane trying to be helpful to the poor older man. See her starting to throw her pelvis up at him as Uncle Bob pushes into her pussy. See how she relaxes and lets her body fall when he is taking it out of her.

Wait! I just thought of something! Didn't Uncle Bob say he was going to fuck Jane?

Could this be fucking?

I bet it is!

Fuck, Uncle Bob! Fuck!

Fuck back, Jane! Fuck back!

Uh oh.

It sounds like maybe Uncle Bob is hurting Jane again. Hear Jane starting to whine and groan.

Careful, Uncle Bob!

Hear Uncle Bob being confused even more. Hear him saying "Cum for me sweet little Jane. Cum on my hard prick!"

Poor Uncle Bob. He keeps getting confused between coming places and already being places. As we can clearly see, Jane is already right there under him. And his big long boner is clearly in her pussy.

Now it's not.

Now it is.

Now it's not.

Now it is.

Boy, I'm getting dizzy!

Maybe he only said that to teach her another new word.


What a funny thing to call something that isn't sharp.

Then again, it certainly did poke inside Jane. So maybe it's a pretty good word after all.

Hear Jane sound like she's dying. All that groaning and screaming!

But she's not dying. I can tell.

Hear Jane yelling how much she loves fucking with Uncle Bob. Nobody loves dying, so I don't think she's dying.

Hear Uncle Bob groan that he's going to shoot.

Poor, confused Uncle Bob. Now he thinks he's a gun. Or maybe an arrow. Who knows?

Hear Uncle Bob say "I'm gonna fertilize sweet Janie!"

Poor, confused Uncle Bob. Now he thinks Jane is a plant.

See Uncle Bob get so confused he has a seizure! See him go all stiff! See him shake and shiver! What if he stays like that, with his big prick buried deep inside Jane? Will she be able to crawl out from under him and go get help?

Wow! Now Uncle Bob is so mentally unbalanced that he thinks he lives in New Zealand!

How do I know?

Hear him say "I'm knocking up my niece!"

In New Zealand when you "knock somebody up" it means you go to their door in the morning and knock on it to get them out of bed. You knock, and they get up, so it's called knocking them up. It's easy to understand.

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