Chapter 4

During the ensuing week, Jenni struggled with her conscience. Part of her was saying ‘it’s none of my business’, another part was saying ‘several friends of mine are struggling.’

When it got to Wednesday, she decided to take a day off studying and went to see Amy ... in the morning so the twins were in nursery school.

She was greeted with a welcoming smile ... followed by “is everything okay? What are you doing here at this time?” This was accompanied by a slight frown.

“Nothing’s wrong ... can I come in?”

“Oh! Yes of course! You had me a bit worried for a moment. I’ll get some coffee on the go.”

Jenni followed into the kitchen. “I thought you were a tea drinker?”

“I am, but ... disturbed nights and trying to study ... I’ve got used to a caffeine fix in the morning.”

They settled with their drinks in the lounge.

“Well, come on ... give! It’s lovely to see you, but somehow I think you’re here for more than just social intercourse!”

“Well, yes ... but I’m not sure where to start.”

“Ah ... am I listening to Jenni the master manipulator of relationships?”

“Am I really that bad?”

“Not really. I’m grateful to you for Barry. Without you I might never have pinned him down. But ... come on, what’s this about.”

“Okay, I give in. James. Are you ... I mean, he’s a lovely chap ... shit.” Jenni stopped and shook her head.

Amy grinned. “What you’re struggling to ask without being intrusive, is ‘are we an item’? As in ‘might I want to marry him or just take him to bed’. Right?”

Jenni held up her hands defensively. “Sorry! I ought to know better, I know.”

“Jenni, don’t worry! I don’t mind. As it happens, Jamie and I agree, we feel about each other ... like siblings. I mean, I love him, but as a brother. Even if I felt more than that, he’s still ... fragile ... about Esther. But he’s wonderful with the twins, and they think he’s great. I ... could learn to love him, I suppose. I think we could maybe make each other happy, but ... no. He doesn’t ‘light my fire’ and ... I don’t light his either. Do I sound silly?”

Jenni smiled at her friend. “No, not silly at all. Very sensible, I’d say. No ... the reason I’m asking is ... that ... James and Beth are circling each other as if they can’t make up their minds whether to ... fight, or run away, or fall in love. I think they’ve both got issues, but I’m pretty sure the main problem’s with Beth and I’m not sure what, if anything, to do about it.”

Amy leaned forward and said seriously, “if in doubt, don’t. You helped me, but I asked for advice. You maybe overstepped the mark once, speaking to Barry, but no harm done. I wouldn’t be surprised if Beth cornered you one day soon anyway and asked you for help.”

“Except,” Jenni interposed, “that I’m pretty sure she thinks you and James are together, or moving that way. She’s the sort of person that doesn’t usually think about herself where other people’s happiness is concerned.”

“Yes ... I see what you mean ... Well, if the matter arises, feel free to say we’re friends and honorary sibs.”

That weekend, Beth and James did very well. They ended up first in the Wayfarer class and second overall on handicap, not to mention physically drained and on an emotional high. Amy had a word with James before the weekend, giving him some strict instructions, so as they were unwinding in the sailing club bar, he spoke.

“Amy’s invited us to eat with her Wednesday night.”

Beth raised her eyebrows. “That’s ... nice of her,” thinking, ‘what’s all this about?’

“She’s suggested, since there will be wine involved, you stay the night with her, or with Jenni and Marty; she’s discussed it with Jenni. I can get a taxi home.”

“Oh...” She was silent, not knowing what was going on, not sure what she wanted, knowing only that she felt very insecure and uncomfortable.

“Beth... I don’t know what’s going on. You know Jenni better than I ... do you trust her?”

She thought about it. “Yes, I do. I might not approve of some things she might do, but I don’t think she’d do anything to hurt me ... or you, for that matter ... not deliberately, anyway,” she added, thoughtfully. “What about Amy? I don’t really know her except at second hand.”

“I trust her,” he said definitely, “absolutely.”

Beth was still uncomfortable. Why invite both of them, together, for a meal? Was there any way she could avoid this? There wasn’t, was there?

“Okay,” she agreed, very reluctantly, “yes ... I’ll come. I’d rather stay with Jenni, though. I’ll give her a call when I get home.”

The interval between Sunday and Wednesday went quite quickly for James; he had work to do, and no reason to be anxious – that he knew of, anyway. The same was not true for Beth. The time for her was both too short and interminable. She kept telling herself there was nothing to be afraid of, but it didn’t stop the sinking sensation in her middle – you know, the ‘why have I been summoned to the headmaster’s office’ feeling, made worse by the delay. She had plenty of time to worry. Wednesday did come round, eventually and she found herself on Amy’s doorstep, knees shaking in anticipation of she knew not what.

Amy answered the door and cheerfully welcomed her in.

“Come through to the kitchen and talk to me ... have a glass of wine. Jamie’s upstairs reading to the twins.”

Beth followed her.

“Red or white? I’m no connoisseur of wine so I tend to stick to white, but there’s a bottle of Chianti open for later.”

“White’s fine, thanks.”

She accepted the glass Amy handed to her and sipped.

“I’m going to be nosy and interfering,” Amy began, “which I don’t normally. But feel free to tell me to mind my own business.” She looked at Beth and cocked an eyebrow.

Beth just stood for a moment before taking a stool and sitting down. “Ask away,” she said once she had her voice under control, “as long as you leave me free to refuse to answer.”

“Fair enough. So ... the question is ... where are you going with Jamie?” She held up one finger to forestall an immediate response. “I need to say that the ... love ... I feel for Jamie is platonic. Our friendship has been good for both of us, and especially good for the kids, but neither of us feel the need or desire to take it any further. I care for him, though, and I’d like to see him settled in a satisfactory relationship. I’m secure enough not to be threatened.”