Chapter 10

Julia sat, red-eyed, still sniffling after breaking down in sobs. She had been rushed by tiny people, all telling her not to cry, and that Bob would be nice to her. Somehow she had been required to admit that her tears were of happiness, and that she loved Sergeant Bob too, at which point things began to calm down a little bit. Bob re-established complete order by saying "All right, now I want to hear from each of you what's happened in your life since I stopped writing." As seven-year-olds generally aren't all that sophisticated in terms of ordering their own history, most of them just said a few lines about whatever came to mind first.

While this happened another man appeared at the door of the class. He and Tom spoke in whispers and then watched and listened as the children finished telling Bob what was important in their lives at the moment.

Tom stepped forward.

"What do you say Mr. Zelch here finishes the day for Miss Miller? She and Sergeant Bob have a lot to talk about, if they're going to get married. I think we should give them the rest of the day off so they can get started." He held up a hand as children stirred. "I know Mr. Zelch is a fourth grade teacher, and that this is only second grade, but I think you can handle him. What do you think?"

He got shouts of agreement. Julia's eyes shot daggers at both him and Bob, but she pasted a smile on her face. She was fully capable of reading the handwriting on the wall.

Outside, though, in the parking lot, was a different matter.

"You sneaky, underhanded bastard!" she yelled.

He held up both hands, palms out. "Hey, you said seven after two. It's not my fault that the kids were there at that time. You should have thought things through a little more thoroughly."

"I didn't think you'd show up in my classroom, you ... you ... you man!" she shouted.

"I love you," he said simply. "What else could I do?"

"And now I have to say yes!" she yelled, stamping one foot. "Those children will be devastated if I don't!"

"I'll be devastated if you don't," he said softly.

"It's not fair," she moaned.

"All right then," he sighed. "You wait here. I'll go tell the kids I changed my mind and withdrew the offer." He turned and started walking.

"Bob!" she screamed. He turned. "You get your ass back here this instant!"

He backtracked, careful not to smile. He wasn't worried, really. But if she thought he was making fun of her it could get dicey.

"You can't take it back," she said, her teeth firmly clamped closed.

"If you don't want to marry me, then of course I can take it back."

"You think you're so smart, asking me in front of the kids like that ... making it so I don't have a choice. Well I'll tell you something, smart guy. I'm pregnant. So you have to marry me!" Then she put her hands on her hips and grinned. "There, Mister I'll-just-ambush-her-in-front-of-her-children. How does it feel?"

"Pregnant?" His eyes looked like they belonged on an owl.

"I used a home pregnancy test in the faculty bathroom this morning before class," she said. "I wasn't going to say anything about it until I was really sure, but you forced my hand, now didn't you."

"You're pregnant?" His voice sounded like he might be in the second grade.

"The test was positive, and I'm a week late. I've never been late in my life," she said patiently.

"With my baby?"

"Who else's baby do you think it would be?" she yelled.

They were both distracted by the figure of Judith French almost running toward them. She arrived, flushed and panting.

"The windows of every room on this side of the school are plastered with children and staff watching you," she gasped. "We can hear what you say when you shout like that, Julia. Please just say yes and take him home."

"You're limping," said Julia as they approached her car. She had said "Yes" through gritted teeth, whereupon her principal said "You may now kiss the bride." Bob hauled Julia into his arms and kissed her soundly. She fought at first, but not for long. They could both hear cheering from inside the school. Judith had then shooed them toward Julia's car.

"My leg is a little sore," he said. "I decided to walk to school."

She stopped and stared at him. "But it's five miles!"

"I guess so," he said.

"Why didn't you call a taxi?"

"I needed time to think. You think I'm doing this impulsively, but it's not like that at all. I know how serious this is. But I love you, and the whole way here all I could think about was how miserable I'd be without you in my life."

"Idiot," she muttered, opening her door. "Get in!" she called. "We need to look at your leg."

"I'll be fine," he said. "It's just a little sore, that's all."

"Let's get you home and get it taken care of," she said.

"I'd rather go get some ice cream," he responded.

"I suppose you want a pickle too," she said, straight faced.

"I'm not into pickles," he said. "I like those little sweet ones, but that's it as far as it goes with pickles."

Ice cream turned into an early dinner somehow. There was still enough tension in the air that neither talked about the two elephants that seemed to follow them into every room they went. Slowly, though, the tension faded, and by four both were ready to go home.

Back in the house she was all business, telling him to get his pants off. She removed the prosthesis herself.

"It's inflamed," she said.

"Well, duh."

She went and got some Vaseline Intensive Care and spent five minutes working it into his stump. Her hands smoothed the cream up over his knee, but didn't move higher, towards his loose boxers. They were tented, and moved occasionally as his penis stiffened inside them.

"You got a squirrel in there?" she asked, looking at his lump.

"Actually, it's a Muff Weasel," he said. "They're very loyal pets."

"A Muff Weasel," she said, unable to keep from smiling.

"They're used to clear tunnels ... you know ... make sure the tunnel is safe."

"We could have used him a few weeks ago," said Julia. "Apparently my tunnel wasn't very safe back then."

"You said we'd worry about whether or not you were pregnant when you got pregnant," he said. "Are we worried now?"

She stared up at him, her hands still moving gently, without thought, over his stump.

"I was this morning. I'm not now."

"Me neither," he said.

"Really?" she asked, her voice suddenly full of passion. "Do you mean that?"

"Please marry me," he said softly. "I can't live without you. The baby is just frosting on the cake."

"You don't know much about babies if you think they're like frosting," she said.

She finally slid her hand into the loose leg of his boxers, and gripped his penis.

"This made me pregnant," she whispered.

"We hope," he amended.

"We do?" She looked thoughtful.

"I do."

"And if it's a false positive?" she asked. "Will you still want to marry me then?"

"I've wanted to marry you ever since you wrote to me."

"You can't remember when I wrote to you," she said.

"True, but I know I loved you. I've always loved you. I can't conceive of a world in which I didn't love you. I loved you when I was a teenager. I just hadn't met you yet."

"Are you trying to get into my panties?" she asked, one eyebrow arched. "Because if that's what you're trying to do, you're going to be successful. That silver tongue of yours is just amazing!"

"I'm trying to get you to marry me," he said.

"I already said I would."

"That was coerced."

"Maybe. It's my opinion that I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't meant it."

"Why is this so hard for you?" he asked.

"Because it scares me half to death!" she blurted. "So much has changed, in so little time. How do we know it's real?"

He was quiet for so long she began to feel jumpy. Finally he said something.

"All you can do is have faith. I never felt like this about any other woman. That's not just a dream. It's how I feel."

"And I want us to be together forever, and happy," she moaned.

"Then let's work every day together to make that come true," he said.

Her hand squeezed his manhood, almost idly. Just as her mind hadn't been on the tenderness with which she massaged cream into his stump, she wasn't thinking about what was in her hand. She just let her love flow through her fingertips.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" he asked.

"You know what I mean," she said. "Don't be a bigger ass than you already have been today."

"Yes, what?" he asked again, patiently.

"Yes, I'll marry you," she whispered. "There. Are you happy now?"

He smiled. "Are you trying to get into my shorts?" he asked, one eyebrow arched. "Because if that's what you're trying to do, you're going to be successful. That silver tongue of yours is just amazing!"

Her eyes filled up, but she smiled as she flowed up into his embrace. Their kisses were tentative at first, tasting each other's lips as if they were tasting fine wine. Passion washed over them, though, and clothing was scattered everywhere as they consummated the agreement to love each other forever, no matter what happened.

It was right in the middle of that passionate lovemaking that something did happen.

The phone rang.

It just so happened that Julia was lying splayed out on the couch, her pregnant vagina full of the penis that had made it pregnant, when the phone which was positioned on the end table rang. She had just had a bone jarring orgasm, and Bob was moving in her with long, leisurely strokes while she caught her breath. It was only because that orgasm had used up most of the nervous energy that had been plaguing her all day long that she decided to answer the phone.

"Don't stop," she said, panting lightly. She reached for the handset and brought it to her ear. "Hello?"

The voice on the other end was deep and male. "May I speak with Staff Sergeant Robert Hickory, please?"

"Oh!" yipped Julia, both from surprise at the request and because Bob had gone in deep and rotated his loins, delighting her clitty. She held the phone away from her face. "It's for you, Bob!"

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