Chapter 76

Jeff was always thinking. It wasn't limited to his work or the things he read. He was always analyzing something in his spare time like when he brushed his teeth or took a shower. There were so many times he would come out of the shower and say, "I just had an interesting idea." He used the word interesting because he didn't want characterize his thoughts as amazing. But often they were.

To my regret, I had not picked up the thinking habit.

He told me about his bachelor party with less detail than had been supplied by Jen.

"I still think your father had something to do with this. Those two clods couldn't come up with an original idea."

I waited for him to finish the thought with if their life depended on it, until I realized he had come up with an original way to express their ineptitude by not qualifying it.

"Would you just give it a rest, Jeff? All you've got are the vaguest suppositions about what might be going on. There is nothing even remotely concrete. If there is something there, we'll deal with it."

"I'll have to remember to tell the Boy Scouts their motto is bullshit. Why be prepared when you can just react and hope for the best?"

I later realized I was back to doing what Jen had yelled at me about and about which I had apologized to Jeff.

We did not communicate very well the next few days and it was my fault. If we could make it through Sunday afternoon we would be fine.

I'm not sure of the origin of the wedding rehearsal dinner. I'm pretty sure Jeff could give me the history, but I suspect I would want to scream before he got done.

We don't have a rehearsal. After that, we have the rehearsal dinner. I can't explain it; that's just how it is.

Jeff's parents invited all of his family, all of my family and everyone in the wedding party. Jeff said they should have invited a few armed guards. He thought he was being amusing. I did not.

Sunny told me what would be happening at the dinner and when I seemed confused, she explained.

"There are two main reasons to have the dinner and you can fashion it to accomplish either or both.

"There are guests coming in from out of town. They may not be familiar with the area. They may have no idea where to go or what to do while they are in town. One of the purposes of the dinner is to thank them for traveling to be with us. It also avoids the need for them to find someplace to go for dinner that night.

"Many of them are family. Some are friends. They probably have not met the other side of the family to be. This offers them the opportunity to meet under comfortable circumstances to get to know a little about each other.

"The second purpose of the dinner is to bring in the wedding party and acknowledge their contributions and relationships to the couple. Some of them may be from out of town as well.

"We decided to bring both groups together.

"We're having hors d'oeuvres to start so people will have a chance to mix and meet those they don't know. After that opportunity we'll have a buffet so people can choose with whom they would like to sit. That also makes it easier to sit at more than one table over the duration of the event so they can pursue those new relationships or simply visit with those with whom they are comfortable.

"That's why Louis and I decided to do it this way."

Who knew?

She also explained that, since the groom's parents hosted the event, typically the groom's father would offer a toast or say some words. The bride's father would have his opportunity at the wedding, at which her parents were the hosts. The bride or groom might respond at the dinner, but at the wedding were customarily limited to, "Thank you for coming."

"Is there a handbook?" I asked.

"Of course, there is. In fact, many places you might choose to host the event have their own handbooks," Sunny said.

"No way."

"Yes way."

The evening did not play out the way Sunny anticipated.

The dinner was held on Friday night instead of Saturday to give us some extra time to relax and prepare for the wedding.

The hors d'oeuvres and cocktails did give everyone the opportunity to mix and meet. Jeff's family went out of their way to try to establish some rapport with mine with not much success. It was as if my family knew they were better and didn't need to be bothered to get to know anybody else.

There were some exceptions, but it was like being back in high school with everybody divided up into cliques which could intersect only briefly when they met on some common ground.

My focus was moving away from being annoyed with Jeff to feeling sorry for myself to be related to these people.

My spirits were buoyed by getting to spend time with Hari and Sam and with Sunny and Louis. I enjoyed talking with Jen and Rich as well. I had been growing increasingly fond of Rich independent of how happy he made Jen.

But it was absolutely impossible to remain in a funk around the irrepressible Sandy. Her energy and enthusiasm could have powered the entire city of Philadelphia. She was just barely shy of giddy.

I talked with my family as well, but tried to get through it as quickly as I possible so I could remain cheerful.

Unsurprisingly, the food was good. Quite surprisingly, the atmosphere and the food combined to put almost everyone in a good mood, including my family.

I hadn't seen Sabrina, which was strange because she was not accustomed to letting her presence go unnoticed.

After the buffet started I found myself seated at a table with Jeff, Jen, Rich, Sandy and Barb, Barbie and Naomi from my twenty-first birthday intoxication party.

Cousins Tyler and Malcolm stood nearby almost salivating over the unattached women at our table.

"So, Rich, does this give you any ideas?" asked Jeff.

"Jeff!" I scolded.

Everybody else at the table just laughed.

"Yes, it does," said Rich.

He rose from his seat and got down on one knee. Jen's eyes bulged with shock.

"Jen, would you do me the honor of helping me figure out how to make these cocktail franks come out so perfect?"

The reaction at our table was enough to draw the attention of most of the room.

Jen smacked Rich's arm.

He pointed at Jeff and said, "It was his idea."

"I just innocently wondered aloud what would happen if..."

What was most important about this to me was that Jeff was playful. That meant we were no longer arguing or fighting or out of synch or whatever.