Chapter 54

I left for Jeff's at noon. I said, "See you later," as I headed for the door.

"Wait a second, Ashley," my mother called.

"I know. I'm going there now," I said.

My Father had an annoyed look on his face.

Good. I wanted to spend time with the rest of the family. Pissing off my Father was just a bonus.

Harri and Sam gushed over their trip. Sam was excited by what he learned about the cooking. Harri was amazed at the sense of community, the many similarities to living on their commune.

They replayed large portions of the trip and seemed as excited telling it as they must have been living it.

The mood changed as Harri intertwined the fingers of her left hand with my right. She put her right hand on top.

"Ashley, Jeff is terrific and he's only going to get better as he matures. But Jeff is the lucky one. Women with your mind and your heart are very rare. If I had the opportunity to magically pick out a woman for Jeff from all the women I've ever known, and I've known a lot of very wonderful women, you're the one I would pick. I feel as strongly about you for Jeff as I did when I picked my Sam for me."

"I'm still here, you know," said Sam.

I don't know when the first tear started to slide down my cheek, but I had a few now and felt on the precipice of a deluge.

"So you know how I feel about you when I say this," she continued. "Sweetie, your mom and dad are the only parents you'll ever have. I'm not saying they've done a good job. I'm not saying you should forgive anything they've done. I'm just reminding you: they're it.

"That's an important relationship for most people. They may not recognize it and they may not have any plans to repair it; I don't know.

"We just want you to remember that you have the ability to change it. You may not be able to change them, but you can change yourself and that will change the relationship."

"You don't have to do anything," said Sam. "We just believe that when a relationship is troubled, you don't have to wait for something magical to happen. You can talk about it. You can decide what you want from it and you can do something to make that happen.

"You won't always succeed. But you won't have to live with the regret you could have done something if you had only tried."

Harri lifted her right hand and ran it down my hair.

"We love you, sweetie. We'll help you any way we can. Just ask."

I started to cry and collapsed into her embrace. Sam's reassuring hand pressed lightly on my back.

When I settled down, Harri said, "It's time for Ashley and me to talk about a ring."

Sam got the message and left us alone.

"For a project like this, I like the ring to say something about you, about Jeff and about your relationship.

"Most people like to pick out their favorite metals, or jewels or symbols, but I feel if you're going to the effort of designing your own statement, it should be a statement about who you are - not what you like.

"But, it's your ring. I'll make suggestions and ask questions, but who cares what I think? In the end, it's up to you."

I guess it was like the way this family treated misbehavior: We talked about it. Next!

It would take some getting used to.

Harri left me to think about my ring. We'd talk again over the break.

I wandered out into the front hall. Louis was putting on a coat.

"Ashley, would you like to take a walk with me? I've got an exercise program now."

I considered it, nodded slightly and said, "Don't mind if I do."