Chapter 47

In the weeks leading up to going back to school I saw Jeff on weekends and a few nights a week.

I went out to dinner with Jen a number of times, but she was limited by seeing Rich ever more often. I was going to have to spend more time with him to see what drew them to each other.

Jeff and I established a new routine by going bowling Sunday mornings. There were no leagues and many potential customers were in church so lanes were available at a discount, though that was irrelevant to us.

Jeff kept saying we should invite Ebenezer and Joanne bowling with us. I didn't take him seriously.

At one point he said it would be effective if we made the offer with the correct wording in front of friends or business associates of my parents. It would put Dad on the defensive again, while appearing to be a sincere attempt to bring us all closer.

Nobody would be fooled, but it would be difficult to turn us down.

The strangest situation surrounded my wedding.

I discussed plans with my Mother. We talked about family. We talked about my Father's business contacts and some of the things we could do to accommodate that many of them.

She mentioned all the various pre-wedding events she thought would be appropriate.

I considered eloping.

What we did not talk about were my ideas for my fairy tale. I realized the reason was I hadn't thought about it.

There is a process women follow to plan for the "most important day of my life." It starts in childhood, but does not reach the detail level until we become aware it is a possibility. After all, you don't even know who he is going to be.

You've been dating him for a while and at some point you realize he will make an acceptable husband, maybe even better.

He hasn't even considered the possibility yet.

But you start to evaluate your friends. Whom do you need in the wedding party? How many can you pick?

Are his friends good choices to be in the wedding? Maybe you should encourage him to find better quality friends.

The relationship moves forward. One day he wakes up and realizes this has been going on so long you must have started to consider marriage.

He is instantly frightened. One day you're going to expect him to step up and make a decision. He has to be sure by that time, so he starts looking at you more critically. He doesn't just look critically, he becomes critical. He finds fault where before he found charm.

This phase is unmistakable, and it's time for you to start solidifying your fantasies.

Are you ravishing enough to stand on your own, or do you need to dress your bridesmaids in something outlandish to assure you survive the comparison?

Of course, that's not usually conscious. But it's what you do.

What can you afford to spend on flowers, invitations, the band, the photographer, the videographer, the biographer, the venue, the menu; how much pomp and circumstance can you muster to show that on the most important day of your life, you are the queen of the world?