Chapter 34

Jennifer was still trying to arrange for me to visit her class, but wasn't getting much cooperation so I decided to use my business skills.

My family contributed lots to money to all kinds of things so we were known in the community. I called the Mayor's office.

He referred me to the Superintendent of Schools.

I called and told him I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life, but I wanted to explore teaching. I may have stretched the truth just a bit beyond recognition.

I told him about Jennifer's efforts and how much I would like to be able to view teaching from her enthusiastic eyes.

He gave me the go ahead and told me to give his regards to my parents. I didn't mention that he might see them before I did

So, armed with his blessing and his Letters Plenipotentiary, I arranged to spend an unspecified amount of time with her and her class.

There was a bit of a roadblock I had to negotiate first. The director of the project, Elaine Hickman, had visions of additional funding from the Fine family and insisted on showing me around.

She took me into a seventh grade class and the problem was immediately obvious.

The boys didn't even hear the sound of my voice. The girls weren't much better. I don't even recall what I tried to speak to them about, but all I got in return were obsequious noises not much better than gibberish.

I gave Mrs. Hickman a story about suddenly feeling ill and arranged to return the next day, health permitting.

I needed to find a way to downplay my looks, no easy task. I had the disadvantage that I didn't wear much makeup so I couldn't just go without. I also needed something to hide my sensational body.

My clothing collection is so large it's obscene for one person to have that much. I had more clothes in my wardrobe that I never wore than most women ever own. I owned clothing for every occasion. I was sure that if I needed it, I could find clothing appropriate for the first landing of aliens on earth in one of my walk-in closets.

For this occasion I located a straight blue skirt ending below my knees and a matching blue blazer which gave no hint of any curves. Under it I wore a pointlessly ruffled white blouse. It looked out of place beneath the stern blazer.

I considered granny heels but they would have made my efforts too obvious. I tried on quite a few pairs until I was satisfied with how little flats did for my legs.

I overdid the makeup. I put on rouge until it was pretty obvious that couldn't possibly be my natural coloring. I went overboard with eye shadow, though that tawdry display fell far short of the clownish makeup of Mimi on the Drew Carey Show.

I considered putting on additional layers to appear a bit chunky, but when I looked in the mirror I decided this was as bad as I ever wanted to look.

I let myself into Jen's room without an escort. She turned to me and said, "Can I help you?"

I knew I didn't look good, but I didn't think I was wearing a disguise. I walked towards her. "Jen, I'm here to observe your class."

"Oh, my God, Ashley." She was so stunned she couldn't think of anything further to say.

"Where should I sit?" I asked her.

"I'm sorry. Here, sit at this desk in the corner. I didn't recognize you."

"How could you?" I asked as I took my seat.

I was able to observe the children in their natural habitat. It wasn't pretty. Had we been like this just a few short years ago? Yuk.

It wasn't that they were rowdy or unmanageable, though they were that some of the time. It was the way they had set up their own caste system, without any guidelines to follow.

At the top, they were beautiful, a jock or wealthy, though the categories could overlap. Below them were ordinary looking people who could look nice when they cleaned up. This was the largest group.

Further down were the nerds. It wasn't a strict category. You could attain membership just by looking or dressing a little strange. At the bottom were the losers and freaks.

Anyone below the favored caste could attain temporary status if they had something to offer, even the losers. Perhaps one of them had a location for a party. He would be invited to the party, maybe at his house, and be treated well until the party was over. Then he reverted to loser.

Character, loyalty, intelligence and empathy were factors which didn't count at all in their social structure. We had been like this. Why is it so easy not to see when you're the one doing it?

I had been successful disguising my looks. While they all treated Jen with reverence, they avoided me like a bag lady. She was gorgeous, mature and ran with a crowd they aspired to. I was inconsequential.

This was the breeding grounds that led to Columbine. Sure, it was important to improve their reading skills. But who was going to teach them to be human beings?

If I'd ever had this kind of rumination in the past I'm sure I handled it with a simple, "Let's party." This was further confirmation, as if I needed it, that I had changed.

"What's with the look?" asked Jen when we sat down for lunch.

"Have you noticed the way your kids fawn over you?"

"Yeah," she said with some disappointment.

"I was actually here yesterday with the director. I met another class. Fawning would have been an improvement. It was like I was a freakin' pop star."

"Did you have to go this far?" she asked.

"I didn't know what it would take. You can rest easy. I don't think I'll be using this look again."

"Did Jeff like it?"

"He may see my hair in curlers, my face covered with cream and my pregnant belly out to who knows where, but he won't see me like this."

"Too bad I don't have my camera handy," said Jen, probably forgetting her phone.

"You'd be risking your life taking that picture."

"So how is Jeff? Is that still going well?"

"Jeff is fabulous in every way," I said.

I'm not sure I said it so much as gushed it.

"You should double with us," I said.

"I don't have anybody to take at the moment."

"I'll see if Jeff can find somebody from work."