Chapter 32

I had met him when I was younger, but I was again introduced to Pietro Cohen. He wasn't as pretty as me, but what a hunk.

When I might otherwise have had the inclination to swoon, what I was thinking was, "Bask in the warmth of your presence as a rose resumes its growth when revived from the chill of the night by the morning sun, and be nourished by the sound of your sweet voice."

Pete who?

Pietro was rich, charming and supremely confident. Even his posture said he could buy anything, get anything, do anything and have anyone he wanted.

His confidence was topped with just a soupçon of arrogance. I recognized it easily. It used to be me. The difference now was I was starting to think perhaps I had earned it.

He was fun to be with. He flirted, he charmed, he flat out hit on me. And he danced as well as Jeff. This time around the party circuit, I could follow.

He was so disappointed I wouldn't leave with him it nearly broke my heart.

Nah, I was just amused. Last summer I would have bestowed on him the gift of my company, not because he deserved it, but because it would have been fun and, why not.

My Father was delighted I was having such a good time. He saw a possible match. He was so seriously deluded.

When I returned to England, I reported in to Jeff. "I met Prince Charming at the ball."

"How fortunate for you, and especially for him."

"Why would I want Prince Charming when I have Beast?" I wrote.

The reply didn't come back quite so fast.

"I'm not really sure why, but I take it that is a compliment?"

Your sister thinks so. I could picture his smile as he wrote it. I had one of my own.

"Oh, my."

Jeff had nothing of particular interest to report. He was working long hours and having the time of his life doing it.

He had not been cut off completely from social contact with members of the gentler gender. He had taken his sister out to dinner a couple of times.

This was pretty unusual behavior for a brother his age, but I understood. It was Jeff. It amazed me that a single action by Jeff could simultaneously be both surprising and expected.

I had my friends and my parents had theirs.

Just like at home, though we lived under the same roof, we didn't cross paths very often.

I did cross paths with their friends' children every year. We hadn't exactly grown up together, but I had known them for some time. They had not seen a change in me prior to this summer, and probably didn't notice it now unless they were paying careful attention.

It was unlikely they were. Of what importance could it be to them?

I had seen the growing sense of entitlement, the growing ennui. It was difficult to envision these people as the leaders of tomorrow.

The final stop on the Pick-Your-Future-Husband Tour was the Riviera. It featured a different cast of characters playing the same roles.

Etienne Roth was playing the role of Pietro Cohen. He played it brilliantly. He had the money, the looks, the confidence and the presence without the arrogance Pietro had shown. It may well have been there, but his thespian skills were much more subtle.

Or perhaps he was more genuine. He was truly appealing. Why hadn't I noticed before? I probably had. But this time, I was different.

All my relationships before Jeff had been based on what they could do for me. They might get something they wanted, but there was no real reciprocation. My concept of a relationship had not included mutuality. Now that it did, I was able to look at a man differently, even though nothing about him had changed.

Etienne was charming and I could see that with all his qualities, he could be someone it would be possible and even reasonable to care about.

That was it; that was what had been missing. When the entire focus of a relationship is what he can do for me, it isn't possible to develop feelings for someone who is, essentially, a tool. Adding the concepts of what can I do for him and can I care for him, it's not clear you can have one without the other.

Nonetheless, Etienne was not someone I cared for. He was too far behind to ever catch up to Jeff.

If somehow Jeff had not been a part of my life, Etienne would have made a perfectly acceptable husband.

He would cheat on me, he was French, but I would be financially independent of my parents. I would rarely see them which suited me just fine.

I could party to my heart's content. Little would be asked or expected of me.

I would provide him children, though I would only need to be involved to the extent I supervised hiring the people who actually raised them.

I would be admired and praised in polite society. What formerly might have been acceptable now sounded revolting to me.

I danced with the older gentlemen as well. I was really getting into dancing and they had a lot of experience. I even danced with my father a few times after he noticed I seemed to like dancing. It was good to know he would be able to dance with his little girl at her wedding. He just would not be happy with my choice of the groom.

And the night ended.

We returned to England the following day and started to pack. I don't ever remember having this level of anticipation and excitement. I worked very hard to tone it down so I wouldn't attract my parents' attention.

I recall Jeff telling me Sun Tzu said when the enemy knows your plans, you will not be successful. When the enemy does not know your plans, you will be successful.

He seemed to say everything in pairs. Sun Tzu, not Jeff.