Chapter 30

Jeff was asleep.

I snuggled in beside him and it woke him up. He turned to me, took me in his arms and kissed me. It started out as an it's-nice-to-have-you-here kiss, but the level of passion increased rapidly.

"Not with your sister in the next room."

"I know. I wasn't thinking of that. I was just thinking of how happy I am to have you here with me."

Great. It was a blessing and a curse.

The relationship would fall apart within days if I kept thinking about how bad it was that it was so good.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied.

"I can feel it. Your body tensed up in a something's-wrong way."

"You can't possibly tell that just from holding me."

But I knew he could. So I told him about my conversation with Sandy and my fears.

"It's a triumph of hope over reason. I've never been seriously hurt by someone I trust. If it happens, I won't be a virgin anymore. I'll learn to deal with it. I just won't have my innocence intact."

And that was it.

My body relaxed and he chuckled, his point confirmed. He would learn to deal with it. He would be okay.

I would try to avoid it, but it didn't have to drain all my energy.

We walked around the campus.

We had coffee at the Student Union even though it was nowhere near as good as what we could have gotten at Starbucks. This place had ambience. Okay, it had an authentic college feel and that was more important to Sandy.

We went food shopping so that after dinner we could make our own desserts: big, nasty sundaes with nuts, jimmies, chocolate syrup, maraschino cherries and Jeff and I had bananas.

It took a lot longer to make them than to eat them, though we did try to savor what could not possibly be mistaken for a delicacy.

We turned in after the 11:00 news. His family would be here in the morning.

Graduation was no big deal to Jeff, but it was to his family so he gathered the appropriate level of enthusiasm to make them happy.

I watched the way he did it and his attitude. It wasn't a task he resented. It certainly wasn't something that was expected. He did it because it gave him joy to make them happy.

Sandy was so thrilled to have been included by us that it spilled over when the family arrived into unbridled enthusiasm to see them. Everybody was delighted to see everybody.

Sam and Harri took me aside to tell me of their week-long wagon train adventure. Harri told me that, even though it was almost as far from luxurious as possible, it felt like a second honeymoon to them, despite the fact that they had already taken a second honeymoon, and a third.

Listening to them gave me hope. They had been together for over 40 years and were clearly devoted to each other, maybe even stupid in love.

Sam picked up a few authentic trail recipes and promised to showcase them for me. I experienced the joy of giving all over again.

Louis was kind of warm and friendly if still a bit awkward. He was clearly sincere, he just wasn't that comfortable expressing it. He was an enigma. It would probably take a long time get to know him.

Sunny was the essence of loving. If a picture is worth a thousand words, the way she hugged you and the noises and rubs that accompanied it were worth an entire chapter.

We headed to the stadium. No other place on campus had nearly enough room to accommodate friends and family. We were fortunate to have a pleasant day topping out at 72 degrees with very few clouds in the sky.

The graduates numbered nearly three thousand and we didn't expect to hear Jeff's name in the ceremony. His grades would have made him valedictorian, but he wasn't even really in this class and the deal to allow him to graduate had been made within the last few weeks. So we were surprised to hear his name announced as recipient of a newly created full scholarship for grad school.