Chapter 24

I saw a lot of the Goldbergs during winter break.

Sandy was back in school, but Jeff and I didn't have to be back until the 16^th. It seemed like I was at their house all the time.

We also spent some quality time in my bedroom.

You might have thought my parents would notice my comings and goings. But they were as oblivious as if I had been a transient in their hotel.

I carefully avoided having them meet Jeff and they seemed to avoid it too, although I suspect it took very little effort on their part.

I didn't know exactly what the criteria were, but whatever they were, I was pretty sure Jeff would not meet the lofty requirements to be adjudged a "fine young man." I think it was code for it would be okay for their family and our family to associate together.

I enjoyed the vacation. I welcomed the opportunity to renew old relationships, acquaintances, whatever they were.

I loved my time with Jeff's family. Louis had a quirky sense of humor and I enjoyed it almost as much as he did.

I had a couple opportunities to share in phone calls from Sam and Harri.

Life was sweet. And then it was time to return to school.

Jeff seemed more relaxed about spending so much time with me. Of course, he had a logical explanation.

"I could probably benefit from dating a variety of people. That part of my education is deficient.

"But I realized I have no experience in a serious relationship either and I'm going to have to do it eventually, so this seems as good a time as any."

"You silver-tongued devil. You sure know how to sweep a girl off her feet."

"Well it is logical, isn't it?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

I knew what he meant and I knew how he felt, fortunately for him, or I would have tossed him out on his ear long ago.

Don't get me wrong. He didn't come up with the grand gestures women wax poetic about. I didn't get a pearl necklace. I got a goat.

He came up with the meat and potatoes of romance. He noticed and appreciated everything I did for him. He supported everything I wanted to do and went out of his way to try to make my life easier.

If this was how Louis acted with Sunny, she was the lucky one, not him, and I considered him very lucky.

It would have been nice if Jeff had at least a little flirtation in him, but he was so painfully earnest about honesty and understanding in relationships he forgot what an amazing sense of humor he has.

I asked him about it.

"I barely talked to girls about anything except academic and political topics until just a few months ago.

"Even when I started meeting girls at school, I had no idea about using any lines. I was just sincere. It seemed to be enough."

"I gotta get you some movies to educate you," I said.

"You want me to flirt? I have you."

"You could flirt with me. It's fun. Loosen up. Flirt with other girls. Show them what I have."

"I could do it if I wrote it in a letter."

He could see my obvious confusion.

"I helped mom with research one summer. I read some scorching letters from Thomas Jefferson. He was after a married woman. He tried to get her to come over from France and travel with him.

"Franklin was a hell of a flirt, too."

"I bet you didn't even notice it when girls were flirting with you."

His brow furrowed.

"Who flirted with me?"

I shook my head. Then I had a sudden inspiration.

Can you have an elongated inspiration? Is sudden inspiration redundant, like extremely unique?

Anyway, I did have an inspiration.

"Have you ever read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?"

"Yeah, when I was four."

He said it casually; no big deal.

"Fourth grade?"

He shook his head in disagreement.

I shook mine in disbelief.

"Gee, I'm not going to win the books-I-read contest, am I?

"Okay, have you watched any of the old Saturday Night Live reruns?"

"Again, yes."

"Did you ever see any of the Mr. Bill segments?"

"Yes. And I didn't much care for them."

"I'm sorry to hear that, because after you were so completely clueless that you were being flirted with, I realized, William Jefferson Goldberg, there is only one thing I can possibly call you when I'm not using Jeff."

"I'm pretty sure I don't want to hear it."

"I'm pretty sure you don't. But every time I say it, it will remind me of how much I love you, Dr. Goldberg and Mr. Bill."

"Oh, God, no." It was definitely a groan.

"Dr. Goldberg is the savant. Yes, they were flirting with you like crazy at that party after Thanksgiving, Mr. Bill."

"Oi. Why were they flirting with me? What did I do?"

"You were with me. You're such a virgin."

"Figuratively?" he asked.

I nodded, and smiled.