Chapter 21

It's more difficult when you have almost unlimited money to spend on gifts. It can rob you of your imagination and distract your focus from what the recipient will really appreciate to how much you can acquire.

I made a conscious effort not to think of gifts in terms of money. For my family I would tap the bank account. But for Jeff's family I would tap my imagination.

At my house, we lit the Chanukah candles, whipped through the prayers and tore into the gifts. No sentimentality was wasted on this holiday.

My gift was in a very small package. It was a sizeable gift certificate to Bloomingdale's. However thrilled I might have been, and I wasn't, it wouldn't do to show too much enthusiasm.

"Thank you. How thoughtful."

There was no possibility whatsoever that they would suspect irony. I lacked the depth.

I left as quickly as I could and headed over to Jeff's.

I was bubbling over. I had never been so excited to give gifts.

I don't even think it would be spoiled for me if they weren't perfect because I had put so much thought into them that I would be the beneficiary of my giving.

I got hugs from everyone, even Louis. Sandy attacked me again.

Jeff gave me a yummy kiss and he wasn't even embarrassed to be doing it in front of his family, at least until they started making noises. Then he blushed.

They had waited for my arrival to light the candles.

Sam stood with his arm over Harri's shoulder. Her arm was around his waist.

Sandy leaned against Jeff, her arm around his waist. The body language was, "This is my big brother and he is the greatest." It made me want to hug them.

We sang the same prayers, but this felt more in the moment, part of the celebration of the holiday, not some activity to be gotten out of the way so we could move on to better things.

"I want to go first."

I was like a kid on Christmas morning, making a beeline for the tree, except there was no tree.

"Louis, I know you the least well of this family, but I hope you'll get a kick out of this."

I handed him a small package.

He tore off the paper.

"A DVD. My favorite movie?"

"I don't think so," I said.

"Revenge of The Nerds." He laughed. Yes! "I don't think I've ever seen it, although my kids tell me it is an important part of my education. Thank you, Ashley."

He kissed me on the cheek, reserved even in his excitement.

"Sunny and Sandy, you two are joining me for a day at the spa."

Sandy squealed. Sunny had a big smile. I don't know whether it was because she was delighted with the gift or delighted that Sandy was so delighted with the gift, but she was obviously happy.

"Harri and Sam," I handed them a brochure.

"Oh, my God," said Harri. "She's given us a Wagon Train vacation at the Harbaugh Ranch in Montana. How did you even think of this? Oh, My God. I didn't even know there was such a thing."

Sam was pawing at the brochure. "That is going to be so much fun," he said.

"It's a three-day minimum, but you can go longer if you want," I said.

"I hope the cooking is authentic. I could learn so much," said Sam. "Look, the train goes to neighboring ranches and we help them brand their calves. We can sleep in tents if we want." He said it with wonder.

"Not a chance," said Harri with no wonder at all.

Jeff just stood there with his mouth open.

"I finally found a way to shut you up," I told him. He just shook his head slowly forgetting to shut his mouth. "Jeff, I'm afraid I didn't spend anything on you." I reached into my purse, withdrew a card and handed it to him.

"You registered to vote. She registered to vote." Tears were dripping down his cheeks. "You're incredible."

He wrapped his arms around me and it didn't feel like he ever intended to let go, which was fine with me, but he eventually recognized this was not a position we could maintain forever.

I had been excited about this, but I was also relieved. This gift had been a big risk. I had put my heart into it, but there was always the possibility I could be viewed as cheap and my gift interpreted, therefore, as thoughtless. I had gambled big and I had won big.

Sunny came over, ran her hand over my hair and gave me a long kiss on the cheek. "You're very special."

"Yes, she is," said Harri, who came in for a kiss of her own.

"You're a real sweetheart," said Sam.

Louis just beamed. Sandy had a big smile and she was fidgeting, barely able to contain her enthusiasm.

I was floating.

Sunny stepped back, put her arm around Louis and leaned against him. Sam and Harri leaned into a passionate kiss. I guess it wasn't that out of the ordinary here.

"Get a room, you two," said Sandy. They broke apart.

"You, wow, I still can't believe it," said Jeff.

"You were very difficult to get a gift for, Ashley.

"You don't seem to have any hobbies or passions. You can afford anything you want. You can go places. You can buy things.

"We spent a lot of time talking about it and, especially after what's happened here, I think we made a good decision.

"One of the special things we've noticed about you is you seem to like to do nice things for people." He glanced at Sandy.

"You got us the tickets to the Fifths, even though you thought you wouldn't like it. You took me to that dinner where, uh, that wonderful dinner."

Don't be bashful, Jeff. Tell the whole family about my night of foreplay and seduction.

"And these gifts tonight prove you have an immense capacity for caring and giving. So we got you the gift of giving."

Come on, be a little more cryptic, you're making it too easy. What the hell was he talking about?

"Sam and Harri and Mom and Dad each got you a nanny goat from Heifer International."

"What?"

"They got nanny goats in your name to be donated to two desperately poor families in a village where most families don't have enough to eat, let alone go to school or build a life.

"I have information from Heifer International you can look at to understand the incredible effects this will have for the two families and the whole village.