Chapter 14

Amanda and I lay awake most of the rest of the night, only occasionally dozing off, worry about Kelsey's reaction making us both sick to our stomachs. We talked about what we were going to do, but without knowing just how angry Kelsey was at us, it was hard to formulate any kind of plan.

Amanda had wanted to go over to my house straight away, to assure my sister that we had no intentions whatsoever of deserting her, but I was buzzed enough from the wine we'd had that I didn't feel comfortable driving. Dad would kill me if I got pulled over for a DUI.

So we tossed and turned, cuddled and talked, and generally just waited for the night to pass. We finally got up at 6am, no longer being able to just lie awake in bed, and took a shower together. Normally the sight of Amanda naked, with water streaming off her perfect body, would have driven me crazy, and we'd have been fucking mere seconds after the faucet came on, but my worry over my sister overrode my hormones. I felt pretty fucking miserable, even after what had started off as the greatest night of my life.

Amanda was quiet too, lost in her own thoughts, her beautiful face lined with worry. I took her in my arms and held her closely against me; it wasn't long until she began to cry.

"Damon, what are we going to do?" she sobbed. "I don't want to lose her."

"We won't," I said resolutely. "We'll make her sit down, and we'll explain everything to her. She'll understand. She loves you; she doesn't want to lose you either." It sounded like scant comfort, even to myself.

After showering, we quickly got dressed. Amanda was wearing a pair of jeans and a thick, green turtleneck sweater to counter the cold weather outside, and she'd put the cheerleading outfit she was going to wear later into a sports bag. She quickly went inside her mom's bedroom to say bye to her mom, then we left in a slightly bigger hurry than usual.

We hardly spoke during the drive over to my house, both of us just lost in our own thoughts. Though I didn't express it, my main worry was that Amanda—if faced with the choice—would pick Kelsey over me in a heartbeat. Though it would make me very unhappy, I decided that I wouldn't fight against that choice or try to change her mind in any way; the last thing Amanda needed was for me to create any more drama in her life. I knew she loved Kelsey as much, if not more, than she loved me, and they'd been together for a long time before I ever came along. They deserved to be together if that was what they really wanted. Part of me hoped that it wasn't, and the other part of me despised it for feeling that way.

Pulling over into our driveway, I was relieved to see Dad's cruiser wasn't there, which would make the upcoming confrontation a little easier. I still wasn't sure if he knew about me and Kelsey or not, though he'd been giving off certain signs that tended to make me think so. Either way, our discussion with Kelsey would be a lot easier if he wasn't there.

Mom looked up from behind the counter as I opened the kitchen door, giving me a bright smile.

"Hey Mom," I said, putting on a happy face, hiding my troubles.

"Hi honey, I'm glad to see you again," Mom said, coming over and giving me a hug and a kiss. Then she went over to Amanda and hugged her as well. "Hello dear."

"Hi Mrs. Richards," Amanda said sweetly, fiercely returning the hug.

"Oh, honey, you can stop calling me that. You're dating my son, and you're my daughter's best friend; you're as close to a third daughter as I'll ever get. Call me Shirley."

"Okay, Shirley," Amanda said, smiling happily. She was doing a far better job of hiding her concern than I was.

"I'll be right back," I said, quickly leaving the kitchen and going upstairs. Kelsey's bedroom door was closed, and I knocked on it several times. There was no answer. I knocked again. "Kel, it's me. Open up, please?" I said softly.

The silence was almost deafening.

I sighed irritably and went into my own bedroom, digging through my closet and grabbing the clothes I would need later, throwing them into a sports bag not unlike the one Amanda had brought. I smiled briefly as I thought to myself that I shouldn't get the two bags confused. I doubted I'd look half as good in that skimpy outfit as Amanda would.

I dropped the bag on my bed and went into the bathroom, fully expecting Kelsey's bathroom door to be closed too. To my surprise, it was wide open, and when I went into her bedroom I saw why: she wasn't there.

I sighed deeply and felt a shiver ripple through my gut. Kelsey and I had been thicker than flies for the last five years or so, and we were each other's best friends. Or at least, she was mine. Now, because we had started to experiment with being more than just siblings and friends, there suddenly was a rift between us. The mere thought of losing my friendship with my little sister made me want to punch a wall. For the first time since it all began, I started wondering if perhaps she and I should never have begun fooling around.

I grabbed my bag and went downstairs, walking back into the kitchen to find Amanda and my mom talking quietly.

"Do you know where Kel is, Mom?" I asked, dropping my bag on the counter and reaching into the fridge for some chicken and a glass of orange juice.

"She left pretty early this morning. Stacey came and picked her up," Mom said. She was looking at me with a peculiar look, as if she was trying to figure something out.

"Did she tell you where she was going?"

Mom shook her head. "No, she didn't. I didn't get to talk to her even. Stacey showed up at the door, and Kelsey left without really saying anything."

I sighed, trying not to get desperate. I could try calling Kelsey again, but I was convinced she wouldn't answer anyways. I could ask Amanda to call Stacey, but it seemed highly unlikely that Stacey would do or say anything that Kelsey wouldn't want her to do. I violently tore into a chicken breast with my teeth, feeling myself get angry while I chewed.

"What's going on, Damon?" Mom asked, her tone deadly serious.

"Huh? What ... what do you mean going on?" I asked, stumbling over my words while chewing vigorously. Did she know about Kelsey and I?

"I mean that for the last week things have been strange. I have to yell at you kids for hours to come downstairs for school. You and Kel have constantly been at each other's sides, far more so than usual, and you're running around each other in your underwear, or even naked. Then last night I went to get myself something to drink from the fridge, and I found her sitting here in the kitchen, bawling like a baby. When I asked her what was wrong, she quickly got up and ran upstairs, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her. I followed her and knocked on her door, and she never answered."

My breath stuck in my throat as I listened to Mom rattle off her list. I fully expected her to fling the accusation at me: 'Are you and your sister fucking each other?'

I waited several long moments, unable to draw a breath of air, while Mom kept staring at me. Amanda was giving me a worried look, her face betraying her conflicting emotions.

"Well?" Mom asked, her voice betraying her impatience.

"I eh ... don't really know, Mom," I said hesitantly, trying to come up with a plausible lie. I silently wished that I had my sister's aptitude for lying; Kelsey would lie her way out of this predicament in an instant.

"Kelsey is worried that Damon and I dating is going to hurt her friendship with either one of us," Amanda said, coming to my rescue.

Mom turned towards my gorgeous girlfriend, frowning slightly at her. "Why would she think that? Have either of you given her any indication that that would happen?"

Amanda sighed. "We had promised her that we'd pick her up again last night and go do something together, like go out. And then Damon and I totally forgot about that."

"Why did you forget ... oh," Mom said, getting a faint smile on her face. "Yes, I can see how that would have interfered with those plans."

Amanda blushed brightly but kept staring directly at Mom, obviously not wanting to give anything away. I was praying fervently that Mom would accept Amanda's slight distortion of the truth.

"Well, that should be easily fixed then, right? You two just take her out for some fun tonight, and assure her that no matter what happens between you two, you'll still be her friends," Mom said, then she turned towards me. "Or, in your case, her brother."

I smiled at her. If only it were so easy, Mom, I thought to myself, but then I realized that perhaps she was right. "Do you think that will work?" I asked her as I mulled it over.

"Of course it will work! I know my daughter; she's just jealous and worried she won't be the focus of everyone's attention anymore. She craves that—especially in your case, Damon. She wants to know that she'll still be your little sister and your best friend. You just need to reassure her that you'll still have time for her, even if you and Amanda wind up getting more serious," Mom said, sounding so sure of herself that I allowed myself to believe it.

Amanda and I glanced at each other, our eyes speaking volumes about what we were thinking. Could it really be that simple? Did we just have to fuck Kelsey into submission, so to speak, to let her know we wanted her to be with us?

Amanda was the first to break our revery. "Thank you, Shirley," she said, leaning over and giving my Mom a kiss on her cheek.

Mom took the opportunity to wrap her arms around my girlfriend and nearly crush her against herself in a huge hug. "You're welcome, sweetheart. Trust me, this will work with Kelsey. Just shower her with attention, and you'll all be best buddies again before you know it."

"Thanks, Mom," I said gratefully. "But how are you so sure that this will work?"

"Because she's my daughter," Mom said resolutely. "And it sure as heck would work on me!"

Amanda and I stared at her in disbelief for a few moments, then we both laughed.

We pulled up into the pool parking lot a little after eight, both of us hoping that Kelsey and Stacey would be there. The talk with Mom had made us feel a little better since if there was one thing we knew we could do, it would be showering Kelsey with love and affection. If that's what it took to get my little sister to be happy again, I'd absolutely bury her with love, and I knew Amanda felt the same way.

Right as we were about to get out, Carynne pulled up beside me in her Spider, waving at us. Amanda and I couldn't help but grin; Carynne could put a smile on anyone's face no matter how down they were.

We got out, grabbing both our bags from the back seat, as Carynne locked up her car and ran over to us. "Hey, you guys," the gorgeous brunette said happily, giving Amanda a huge hug, then turning her attention to me.

"Hey Carynne," I said, smiling at her.

"Aww, don't I at least get a hug?" she pouted. I laughed loudly and engulfed her in my arms, squeezing her tightly against me.

"That's better," she said once I let go. "Where's Kelsey?"

"We don't know," I said softly.

Carynne frowned, her impossibly cute face scrunching up tightly. "You don't know? Why not?"

"We went to pick her up this morning, but she'd already left with Stacey," Amanda said.

"Why did you have to go pick her up? Why wasn't she with you guys?" Carynne asked.

Amanda sighed and explained what had happened after Carynne had left us alone yesterday. While she was explaining the details, I looked around the parking lot, trying to find Stacey's car. Though I saw several 4Runners, none of them had the distinct red color that Stacey's did.

" ... And now she's worried that we want to be together, and that she's become a third wheel," Amanda finished after several minutes.

"It wasn't very smart of you to promise you'd come fuck her again last night, then not actually do it, you know," Carynne said matter-of-factly. "You know Kel as well as I do; you knew that'd hurt her."

"I didn't mean to forget about it!" Amanda said, a little harshly. "It's just that after he told me he loved me, my mind went out the window."

Carynne looked a little shocked, then she wrapped her arms around Amanda's shoulders and pulled her close, kissing her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I didn't want that to sound as an accusation."

Amanda hugged her friend in return. "I know, it's okay. I didn't mean to snap at you either."

The two beauties hugged for several moments, then let go, even as Carynne smiled at Amanda. "I think congratulations are in order for you two, huh?" Carynne said, jumping topics so quickly Amanda and I both blinked.

"Why?"

"Because he told you he loved you! It's so awesome that you two are in love!" Carynne practically squealed, excitedly jumping up and down.

"Thank you," Amanda said, her smile lighting up her face. "I just hope that Kelsey won't break up with us because of it."

Carynne shook her head vigorously. "You three can't break up, I forbid it!"

"You forbid it?" Amanda said, giggling despite herself. "How come?"

"Because how else am I going to have more of those incredibly hot foursomes?"

Amanda and I burst out laughing, shaking our heads at a wildly grinning Carynne.

"There, that's much better," she chirped. "I hate it when you guys aren't happy! Come on, it will be fine. I'll give her a call and tell her to stop pouting, and then to come over here so we can all fuck her! That'll make her feel better."

"You're not the first one to suggest that, actually," I said, somewhat surprised.

"Oh, who else suggested it?" Carynne asked while she dug her phone out of her pocket.

"My mom."

Carynne froze, and her mouth fell open as she gawked at me. "Your mom told you to fuck your sister to make her feel better?"

"What? No! She said we needed to give her attention and shower her with love."

"Oh. Well, that too, but knowing Kel, I'd guess she'd rather you shower her with something else."

I couldn't help but grin profusely, much to Carynne's delight. We all started walking towards the main building, during which Carynne tried, several times, to call Kelsey.

"Nothing?" Amanda asked, her voice small.

"No, she's either out of range, or not answering. She's with Stace, right?" Carynne asked.

"Yeah. Or at least, we think so. Stacey came to pick her up this morning."

Carynne nodded and hit a few buttons, presumably calling Stacey. She let it ring for what seemed a long time, then sighed as she flipped her phone shut again. "No answer from her either. I wonder where they are."

"I hope they're alright," Amanda said quietly, while squeezing my hand.

"They're fine, they probably just have their phones turned off," I said, trying to remain upbeat, though I had to admit that I was getting pretty worried myself. I was also beginning to wonder how we were going to shower Kelsey with love and attention if she wouldn't answer her phone, and we had no idea where she was.

I held the door open for the girls, and we walked into the building, past a smiling Charlie.

"Give 'em hell, Damon!" the kind, old security guard said as he nodded at us.

"You bet, Charlie," I said, wishing I felt as confident as I sounded.

I gave Amanda a fierce kiss, then made my way over to the locker rooms which were not accessible to the girls this time around. A brutal looking security guard, with a neck made of what seemed to be spare tires, barred the way to anyone not possessing a Competing Athlete's badge. Fortunately I'd remembered to bring mine, and he grunted as he waved me through.

There were several other swimmers in the locker room, though each was lost in his own world, trying to build up concentration for the upcoming events. Judging by the amount of clothes actually left hanging around, as well as the number of lockers that were in use, I guessed that most of the competitors were already here.

I got changed quickly, stashing all my stuff into my own locker. I put the key into a small, waterproof wallet that I always had on me, then trapped that against my hip in my Speedos. It was small enough that it virtually made no difference in aerodynamics, and I'd gotten so used to swimming this way that it felt weird if I didn't have it there.

I made my way into the great hall, amazed at the amount of people that were already there. Quite a few of them were in the main pool, warming up and swimming a few practice laps, while others were sitting and standing around, either by themselves or while talking with others. There were perhaps a few hundred people in the stands, not a terribly huge crowd, but not small by any means either. I imagined there'd be a few thousand people at State.

I just had to make sure that I got an opportunity to see if I was right.

I dove into the water and did a few quick sprints, exploding to maximum speed for a few seconds, then slowing down to a crawl again. I felt my muscles slowly shed their lethargy from the lack of sleep and the phenomenal sex Amanda and I'd had. Thinking of Amanda's flawless body, shivering, moaning and sweating underneath my touch, brought a big grin to my face, and my stomach churned from the butterflies flapping through it. I loved her, and though I was worried to death over my sister and what she was thinking about us, I was glad that I loved her.

I swam over to where I saw Erik, Brian and Daryll talking and hoisted myself out of the pool near them.

"Hey guys," I said, walking over beside them.

"Hey D," Brian said, the others also greeting me. "Ready for today?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, man, to be honest. I'll go as fast as I can, and we'll see if it's enough."

He frowned at me. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, you look kinda like shit," Erik added.

"Thanks," I said wryly. "I'm okay, I guess."

Brian seemed to study me for a few moments, then he told me to follow him. I gave him a surprised look but did as he wanted, following him until we reached a somewhat quiet spot.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I didn't sleep well, and I—"

"Don't give me that bullshit. I'm willing to bet money this is about Kelsey, isn't it?"

I sighed and slumped my shoulders, giving him all the answer he needed.

"I thought so. So what's going on?"

"She's mad at me."

"Eh, that happens with girls from time to time. Why is that bothering you?"

"She thinks Amanda and I are deserting her."

"What? Aren't you having sex with both of them?"

"Yeah, but last night Amanda and I were by ourselves, and Kelsey thought we were abandoning her."

"Which isn't what you were doing, I take it?"

"No, we'd just kinda forgotten about her, because we'd gotten pretty emotional."

"Emotional? What were you so emotional about?"

I couldn't do anything but look particularly pleased with myself, even as I shrugged my shoulders.

He began to chuckle. "Let me guess, the L word?"

I nodded at him, grinning stupidly.

"Good for you, kid," he said, clapping my shoulder. "Still, if you're in love with Amanda, and she's in love with you, then why are you so upset over Kelsey? She'll be disappointed and even angry right now, but she'll get over it."

"She's my sister, Brian. I'm not going to just ignore her until she 'gets over it!'"

"She'll still be your sister, no matter what, and no matter who you wind up with. She'll forgive you. Why is this such a big deal?"

I drew in a deep breath, wondering if I should tell him. He already knew about us, so it probably wouldn't matter much anyways, but then I hadn't actually told this to anyone yet.

He raised his eyebrows as the silence endured for a few moments. "Well?" he finally asked.

"Because I love her too. And not just as my sister," I said decisively.

Brian whistled as he shook his head at me, though I didn't get the idea that he was judging me. "Wow, you're sure getting yourself in a pickle here, D."

"Yeah, I know."

He nodded and put his hand on my shoulder. "I wish I knew what to say, man, I really do. Katie should be here in awhile, perhaps she can give you some advice."

I shrugged. "We'll see."

Before he could say anything else, the announcer came on over the hall's sound system, welcoming everyone to the first of two State semi-finals being held, and after rattling off a list of sponsors he announced that in ten minutes we'd have the first heat of the 200 meters butterfly, which was mine. I was scheduled to start in lane five, right beside Wheeland in lane four.

"Good luck D. You can beat Wheeland, everyone knows you can," Brian said encouragingly.

I gave him a wan smile and nodded, walking over to my lane to get a final warm up going. Coach was waiting for me beside my starting block and gave me a grunt when he saw my body language. "Did you get enough sleep last night?"

I shrugged. "It'll do."

"That's not what I want to hear! I want to hear you say that you slept ten hours like you're supposed to!" he grumped.

I nodded, but didn't say anything else, staring straight ahead of me at the shimmering pool. The last of the swimmers were getting out, to prepare for the start of the events.

"How's your nose, kid?" coach asked, not unkindly.

"It's fine. I can dive with it without any problems," I said.

"And how's your head?"

I gave him a curious look, not quite comprehending.

"Mentally, I mean."

I sighed. "I don't know."

"Do you believe you can beat Wheeland?"

"I don't know."

"Goddammit, son, with that kind of attitude he's going to swim fucking circles around you! Now let me ask that question again; do you believe you can beat Wheeland?!"

I grinned at him and nodded. "Yeah, I can."

"Good. Now fucking prove it to me!" he snarled, right before stomping off.

I shook my head with amusement as I watched him leave. Suddenly my eyes crossed with Wheeland's, who was sitting just a few feet away, grinning at me.

"There is no way in fuck you can beat me, you little shithead," the asshole smirked. "It'll be a major fucking victory for you if you can stay within two seconds of me."

"Blow me, cunt drool," I growled, quickly turning away and taking a few deep breaths to try to calm my suddenly rapidly pounding heart. He always managed to get in my head, and I tried to psych myself up, imagining how awesome it would be to beat his dumb ass and be able to shove his bullshit right back in his face.

The announcer told us there were five minutes left, and he summoned all swimmers to their starting positions, then began to announce them one by one. I got a decent amount of applause as I was announced, and I could hear Carynne and Amanda yelling even over the noise of the crowd. I glanced over in their direction and grinned as I saw that they were, indeed, wearing the skimpy cheerleader outfits. My heart started beating faster as I saw a brunette stand beside Carynne, but I soon realized it was Mikaela, not Kelsey.

All three girls were managing to draw quite a bit of attention from the male crowd in attendance, which was apparently to Carynne's delight as she was constantly talking with one guy or another. I imagined she was flirting outrageously.

With one minute left, we all took our positions on the block, and Wheeland sneered at me. "Dead meat!" he said, pulling his finger across his throat. Rather than waste energy trying to come up with a reply, I just turned away and focused my thoughts on the water. Just swim fast, I thought. Stay with him and explode in the end.

We got set at the announcer's command, a resolute quiet settling over the hall, and my thoughts again turned to Kelsey. Slowly the shimmering water resolved into an image of her, smiling at me, and I stared at it aimlessly, marveling at how beautiful she was. The gunshot drew me out of my daydream, and I silently cursed as I was at least half a second too slow off the block, going eighth into the pool. I thrust my feet furiously under water, trying to make up some time. I came back up in the back of the pack, Wheeland and the guy in lane six at least a length ahead of me.

I settled in for a grim chase, determined to catch the fucker. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried, Wheeland easily stayed a length ahead of me, slowly starting to build on it. I took a quick peek around me, seeing that I was still seventh and not making up any distance either. I doubled my efforts, but only made up one spot over the next fifty meters; Wheeland was a solid two distances ahead of me, and I decided to save my strength since the race was lost anyways. I coasted almost leisurely to the end and finished last, a full six seconds behind Wheeland's winning time.

The fucker smirked at me with a satisfactory smile as he raised his hand in victory at the announcer's declaration of his triumph. Meanwhile, I quietly swam over to the ladder and wearily hauled myself out of the pool.

"What the fuck was that? Do you call that swimming?" Coach snarled as he walked up to me. "The dessicated corpse of my dear departed grandmother could swim faster than that!"

"I was slow off the block and couldn't make up the distance, so I decided to save my strength in the last fifty," I said, shrugging slightly. "I've got two more heats today, so what's the point in wearing myself out in a lost race?"

"Don't get snippy with me, kid! What the fuck were you doing on that starting block? Counting sheep?"

I sighed. "Yeah, something like that. It was a bad race, Coach. Can we forget about it and focus on the next one, please?"

He gave me a dark scowl, then turned around without saying anything further.

Wheeland walked past me with a smug, victorious smirk. I had to resist the urge to beat that goddamn grin right off his fucking face.

I stomped off towards the stands, figuring I'd go sit down with the girls for a bit since my next race wasn't up for awhile. Before I could get there, however, Brian intercepted me.

"What the hell are you doing, man?" he asked, his face pulled into a distasteful frown.

"Look, Brian, I already got a lecture from Coach, okay? Like I told him, it was a lost race, so why waste my strength just to finish seventh? I figured I'd be better–"

"I'm not talking about you slowing down, I'm talking about you freezing on the block and swimming like your heart isn't in it."

"Well, maybe it's not," I said softly.

He snorted. "So that's it? All your training, all your hard work, and you're just gonna piss it all away over some girl?"

"Kelsey is hardly just some girl, Brian," I said irritably.

"No, she is just some girl. Right now she is, because that's how you think about her, and that's why you're moping over her. You're not upset that she's mad at you as your sister, because if that was it you'd just let it slide, at least until after you're done swimming. But you're upset that the girl you love is mad at you, and that's why you're swimming like shit!"

I stared at him, wanting to reply, but his words were hitting so close to home that I just didn't know what to say.

He looked straight into my eyes, his own eyes hard as steel. "This has been your dream, man. To go to State, maybe even to Nationals. This is what you've been training for so hard for the last two plus years, and you might never actually get a better shot at it than you will this year. But if you keep fucking around like this, you're not going to make it. Don't throw away everything you've worked for, just because of some hot pussy."

I clenched my teeth, and I felt a wave of anger surge through me. I glared at him with flinty eyes.

"Don't get mad at me, D. This is simply the reality of the situation. If you weren't thinking with your dick, maybe you could see that!" he said tersely.

I ground my jaw together and bit back several furious remarks. Part of me wanted to haul off and deck him, while another part of me knew he was right, and that I wasn't thinking clearly. I drew in several deep breaths, letting them escape slowly as I began to calm down.

"You alright?" Brian finally asked, after I'd relaxed a bit.

"Yeah, I think so. I don't like the way you said it, but I have to admit you're probably right," I said, a little curtly.

"I'm sorry, man. I just hate to see you blow such a big chance like this."

I nodded at him, exhaling loudly. "Yeah, I know."

He gave me an encouraging smile, then perked up as the announcer requested the starters for the one hundred meters freestyle to go to their assigned lanes. "That's me. You think it over, okay? If you're not going to bother to concentrate today, then don't, but you're wasting a fantastic chance. You can beat Wheeland, and that's all you need to get into State!"

I nodded again. "Thanks Brian."

"Don't mention it." He was about to walk off, when he suddenly turned back to me. "Tell me something, D. Is it all worth it? What you do with Kelsey, I mean?"

I sighed deeply, pondering the question even while I stared at him. Was it really worth it? I asked myself. The sex and fun had been out of this world, but on the flip side, I'd had arguments with my friends; I'd been scared to death about Dad finding out; Mom had grown suspicious of me, and now I was in a messy love triangle situation which was hurting everyone. Was the great sex really worth all of that?