Chapter 2

Mel speaks:

Mike and I have been friends as far back as I can remember. We were good neighbors and close buds. He was never really my boyfriend. Neither of us had dated much. We usually went out with groups of kids to school events and ball games. Even though we were the same age, I thought of him more as a big brother.

It wasn't until our senior year that we actually had a date. It was kind of weird the way it happened. I was going to the prom with a friend named Brad. I guess I have had a crush on him for a couple of years but never dated him either. It was just one of the many crushes I had on different guys.

Anyway, Brad asked me to the prom. I was so excited and surprised. When I told Mike about it, he didn't really seem happy for me, but did say that it was nice that I was going. He said he wasn't planning on going. He couldn't think of any girl that he wanted to spend that kind of money on.

Two days before the prom, Brad's grandmother died. She lived in another state and he wouldn't be able to take me to the prom. I cried and my mom talked to Mike's mom. Mike came over and told me that since the prom meant so much to me he would take me.

I cried, and Mike gave me a hug. "That's what friends are for," he told me.

The day after the prom at our school a lot of the kids go to the beach and spend the day. It's just something most everyone does. Most of us spend half the day sleeping from being up most of the night before.

Mike and I had one of those big beach umbrellas and placed it on the ground nearly covering us up. We both got under a blanket to nap and it happened. Mike started rubbing my belly and it felt good. I know I should have stopped him but I didn't.

He kissed me and slid his fingers into my bikini bottoms. Instead of stopping him, I spread my legs further apart. One thing led to another and we had sex. It was the first time for me. Mike said it was for him too but I'm not sure. He carried a condom in his wallet.

He told me that all guys carry a condom hoping that some day he will get a chance to use it. It didn't take us long and really didn't hurt that much. Actually it felt kind of nice. I remember Mike telling me to try and be a little quieter seeing we were on the beach. Between laughing and having an orgasm at the same time it was quite funny.

It was a bit awkward after that but we just joined in with the rest of the group and went swimming. We just chalked it up to part of growing up. I know I'll always remember it.

The next time we did it was at a New Year's party at his parents' house. We kept taking other peoples drinks and we were feeling pretty good. We were the only two younger people at the party. I was an only child and so was Mike, so when his parents threw the party they asked my parents if I could attend so Mike wouldn't be alone.

I remember Mike saying he wanted to bring in the New Year with a bang. It sounded so funny. So shortly after midnight we went up to his bedroom and did just that. I should have realized then that we were more than just buddies.

It was two days later that he told me he had enlisted in the service. To say I was mad at him would be putting it mildly. I didn't see him much during the next month and then he left for basic training. I missed him, I really did.

Brad had started coming over to visit a few times. There really wasn't that much between us other than being friends. Yes, I had a crush on him but I had a crush on a lot of guys. It was just one of the things girls do, they have crushes. It doesn't mean they want to bed down every crush. It's just another way of saying we're interested.

I remember the day Mike came home from basic training. I thought he would be home the following day. Brad and I were standing in the living room and he told me he never got a New Years kiss. To me it wasn't a big deal and Brad leaned forward and kissed me.

He put his arms around me and kissed me hard. It was at that exact moment that Mike came into the house. I didn't know what to say. To say Mike looked surprised would be an understatement. I was at a loss for words.

We talked about nothing for a few minutes, and Mike said he had to leave and would see me later. God, I felt so bad. I remember asking Brad to leave. He argued for a minute and then left. I sat there wondering what in the hell just happened.

I went to Mike's house a few times but he always had relatives over. It's as though he didn't want to be alone with me. I just let it go for now. Maybe he was as confused as I was. We had always been friends but were we destined to be more than that?

I started nursing school and spent most of my time studying. I did go on a few dates but there was no one that I was serious about. My thoughts kept going back to Mike.

When we wrote to each other we each said how much we missed each other and it was months before we signed our letters with the word love. The more I thought of him, the more I missed him.

I was so disappointed when I found out he would be gone an extra year. I prayed every night that he would be safe. I really wasn't sure what would happen when he came home.

"She doesn't know what's right,

She doesn't know what's wrong.

She only knows the pain that comes from waiting for so long."

It took me two years to receive my nursing degree and I started working at the local hospital. I still wrote Mike, and told him what was going on in our small town. Often, I would send him articles out of the local newspaper about our friends and family. I figured it would make him feel closer to home.

Too many times, I sat by the window and thought about my life. I wondered if when the phone rang would it be something had happened to Mike. In my heart I realized I have always cared for Mike. It just took him not being around to share our thoughts with and joke around together to really notice it.

I had to wonder if he felt the same. I realized his letters were getting more personal, and when he told me how much he missed me it made me cry. Was he just lonely or did he really mean it? A crystal ball would sure help me to understand things. I didn't know if I should keep waiting for Mike or write it off to the past and go on with my life.

I often dreamt of his returning and the things that he might say. Would he really love me or would I always be the girl from yesterday.

My parents pressured me to date. They didn't know how I felt about Mike. Hell, I didn't even know. Could they be right? Was I wasting away my life waiting on a guy I cared about years ago?

After my first year of taking nurses courses I got a part-time job at the hospital as an attendant. It was a kind of learn as you go type program. It was mostly helping take care of the patients.

Another nurse, Julie, was getting married and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. The wedding would be in the following year. She set me up with one of the young interns. He was good looking and had a nice personality. He was also single. I accepted and he would be my date for the wedding.

I really liked him; what was not to like. He would be a doctor in a year, getting a residency. My problem was that even though I cared for Dan I often thought about Mike and couldn't get him out of my mind or should I say heart.

I wasn't writing Mike as much as I used to. Here I was dating Dan and writing an old friend. I did tell Mike that I went out with friends; I just couldn't get myself to tell him about Dan. I guess it was a kind of 'torn between two lovers' situation.

I would see Dan most every day for a few minutes. He had a very busy and hectic schedule as an intern. We really didn't spend as much time together as he would have liked. He asked me if he could move in with me and I told him no.

I was honest with him and told him I really cared for him but wasn't sure if I loved him. For some reason I always thought about Mike.

Time went by and Dan and I became closer, much closer. My parents and friends all said we were meant to be together. I know a lot of it was because Dan was a doctor.

Dan had to go away for a couple of weeks. He was going on a trial run to see if he wanted to be a resident doctor in Indiana. Before he left he asked me to go with him if he moved there. I was a bit shell shocked.

"Mel, I'm in love with you. I know you can get a position at the hospital. I already talked to them about it. I know you're not ready to get married but we can rent an apartment together. We'll call it a pre-marriage," he was smiling at me.

"Dan I just don't know, I care for you I really do. I need time before giving you an answer. Everything seems to be going too fast."

"I'll be gone a couple of weeks. I'll be moving a few weeks after Julie's wedding. I guess you can give me an answer at the wedding."

I told him it would only be fair to him and I would have an answer by then.

It was only a couple of days after Dan left that Mike came home. He was sitting on my doorstep when I arrived home. I could see tears in his eyes when he saw me. I knew I had tears in mine. He grabbed me and kissed me telling me he loved me.

I knew right then that it was Mike that I loved. It was just one of those things that women know and feel.

We went inside my apartment. He wanted to take me out to dinner. I told him I needed to shower first. As I was in the shower thinking about Mike he took off his clothes and opened the bathroom door and got in the shower with me.

"Mike, what are you doing in... ?" I didn't get a chance to finish as he kissed me.

He soaped me up and rubbed my whole body. "I'm not hungry now. All I want is to make love to you," he said to me.

I was nervous, but I leaned over and kissed him. It was a very passionate kiss. We half dried off and he carried me to my bed and we made love. It wasn't just sex, it was love. I could feel it in every part of my being.

We made love three times that night. The last was as good as the first. We ended up ordering a pizza. We did get hungry after all from the love making.

In the days he had left before he had to leave we saw each other as often as possible. I still had a job to go to every day and he had friends and relatives he wanted to see. We made love as often as possible but we didn't tell anyone.

He did tell me he would be going back to Nevada on Monday and would be shipped out to wherever he chose. When I asked him where he was going to be stationed he told me it depended on me.