Chapter 19

The group gave Shelly a few minutes to redress and to compose herself but she was resilient. Shelly was happy to be a different situation – even if it was a situation she didn't know could possibly exist even a week before.

She was under no illusion that her old life wouldn't rear its head again in the future. She had ignored the messages her father and mother had left with her erstwhile dorm roommate when she stopped there the day before. Her roommate knew the score and didn't mind running interference, for which Shelly was grateful.

Sarah was also happy to find herself with new opportunities. She had hid out from life since she graduated and moved to L.A. The problem had been the company her boyfriend had kept. Daniel had not always been a loser. There had been a time – a not-so-distant time, she realized – when she had cared about him and supported his goals.

That was before his old goals gave way to becoming a pipe dream and he developed new goals – hanging out in bars with other rejects like himself. Sarah, maybe because of her relatively isolated social upbringing, was self-sufficient. She hated to admit failure and she thought returning to Washington like a beaten puppy would be giving up. She would make it L.A., even if it meant modifying her moral compass to do it.

Things were finally starting to turn around. For the first time maybe in her life, she had friends. There was something about Allie and Shelly that told Sarah she could count on them and they would be there for her. Allie tried to play herself off as a flighty dimwit, but she had street smarts and she understood full well how the world worked. Shelly was an extravert forced to be introverted. Now that she was free of the bonds, she wanted to explore every facet of life that she had missed in the previous 19 years – and she wanted to do it today.

Allie was the perfect foil for Shelly's exuberance, Sarah decided. Allie had made mistakes and had a few years worth of regrets. Some of the decisions had been forced on her but she had made other bad decisions, too, and she knew it. Allie would let Shelly get a sanitized look at the wild side but would keep her from the worst excesses of L.A.'s scene.

Sarah could ride the wave with them both. She was glad to have someone like Allie in her life because Allie had been through it. She was happy to have someone like Shelly in her life because Shelly wanted to see it all. Then there was Adam.

Adam shattered the stereotype she had of good-looking, well-endowed men. From the first moment she met him – in that modified storefront in Ventura only a week before – she liked him. The way he treated her during the shoot, first being such a gentleman to her and then taking the best she could give him without turning into an animal, made her feel a way she'd never felt before. She was sick that she had to go Miami so soon afterward. If she had her way, she would have asked Adam out on a date that very night and tried to get to know him as quickly as possible.

When she ran into Allie in Miami, it was like a meeting of two friends who hadn't seen each other in years. They clicked immediately. Sarah was gushing about the guy she had worked with and the shoot she had done for Holly Ball. Allie had been called by her former rep about the Daystar job but she hadn't called back. She had never heard of Derrick Driller and the last thing Allie needed or wanted was to fuck some over-endowed jackass who thought she should grovel at his feet and let him smack her ass and call her a whore.

That was the direction Sven had been pushing for a few weeks. The trip to Miami was to mollify him. She had seen the web sites. She knew neither guy had a huge dick or was a huge dick. They were rude, sure. They called the girl names and slapped her ass. They pulled her hair and tried to stick their cocks down her throat. But it was mostly a show. Both guys were happy as hell to be banging hot girls half their ages. So she did the scenes with a grimace and wished again she had another means of supporting herself.

Sarah had encouraged her to take the Daystar shoot and to call Adam beforehand. She had worried that Adam would look down on her lack of education and her past deeds but he hadn't. He accepted them as something that made Allie who she was. Sarah was really surprised when Allie answered Adam's phone. Allie disliked most men in general and every man in the industry. But she sounded happy. The young women had stayed up late talking several nights in Miami and Sarah decided if Adam made Allie enjoy life a little bit, she could share with her. Sarah wasn't going to back off. But she would make sure Adam had time for Allie too. In their business, jealousy was not something a girl could afford.

Shelly's appearance was another surprise. Adam said he didn't have a girlfriend but Shelly sure acted like a girlfriend. Sarah's first impression of her, before actually realizing it was the girl she spoke on the phone with earlier in the week, was that Shelly was some bimbo who wanted a shot at fucking on film and Adam was too nice to tell her no. As the day progressed, Sarah learned more about Shelly – and Shelly's feelings for Adam, which mirrored her own. She knew, even if Shelly didn't realize it, that Shelly had the inside track for Adam's affection. Sarah recognized instantly that Adam was attracted to all three girls. But it startled her a little bit when she realized she was attracted to Shelly, too. Allie was no surprise. First, Sarah had gotten to know her. Even though they did nothing sexual in Miami, they were intimate, nonetheless.

She understood that the offer to move in was meant as a way to facilitate a relationship and she wasn't opposed to it. Perhaps the biggest surprise was learning that Shelly knew Allie already – and she shared the same interest as the other two. Finding four other friends – and it was obvious that Walt and Co. weren't about to look down on them – was an added bonus. Sarah decided that things were moving in a positive direction but she would be aware of potential problems.

"Do you guys just want to stay here tonight?" Allie asked. She didn't want Shelly and Adam to feel compelled to sleep together – or with anyone else – although a fleeting image of all them together in one bed had hit her mind numerous times during the day.

"Uh, you're a little short of space," Adam said.

"We can all share," Sarah said. "Look, Shelly said she slept with you last night. Allie and I bunked in together one night in Miami – just for sleeping, so you know. I'm sure we'll probably share the same bed in the future."

"I hope so," Shelly said quickly. "I'm sort of torn, you know. I loved waking up beside Adam this morning – and have him kiss my pussy good morning. But I think I would be just as happy waking up beside either of you. Adam, what do you think?"

Adam was in the middle again. He had decided that he wanted no part of making decisions for this group. He was not going to be the catalyst as to whether it worked or not. Similarly, he didn't want to lose individual time with Shelly – or with the others, he grudgingly admitted to himself. He didn't want their whole lives to be intertwined. He wanted there to be times he was alone with Sarah and with Allie and with Shelly. He didn't want each night to be almost an orgy.

Well, he admitted, he probably did want that if he were truthful. But he knew he would miss out on the best parts of the women if he started to view them as a group rather than as a group of individuals.

"It's a shame we don't have a bigger bed," Sarah said, as she saw Adam pondering his answer. "I was thinking about that, you know. I guess I've been thinking about a lot of things. I don't want to put pressure on anyone, but I think we should be open and honest about where this is going."

Shelly smiled widely.

"As the matriarch, I'll give my opinion," she said. "I told Adam this but I guess you should be clued in, too. I think there is a significant possibility I'm bisexual. I have been hugely attracted to Allie the person for a while. I am hugely attracted to Allie the body now, as well. Sarah, we're just getting to know each other but I can feel the attraction building in me toward you, too. I can't say I love either of you yet. But I can definitely say that I can foresee that in the not too distant future."

She sat back, a little nervously, and awaited the answers.

Allie and Sarah glanced at one another but neither spoke for a moment. Allie gathered her nerve first.

"I would say that until yesterday, I have never enjoyed sex with a man," she confessed. "I did it because I was supposed to or because it paid the bills but I have come to prefer women as lovers. I invited Sarah to move in here because I like her. It was an impulsive move and I'm not usually impulsive anymore. But she was lonely and I was lonely. I could see myself becoming Sarah's lover and, potentially, her mate or partner. Now, I can't. It isn't that I'm not attracted to Sarah any longer. I am, probably more now than even before. The past two days of getting to know her better – in a different atmosphere in Miami – have been wonderful. If we had the chance to do that in Miami, I probably would have never agreed to be with Adam."

She offered a wry smile.

"But I'm glad in a way that we had to wait," she said with a sigh. "Lunch Wednesday was like another world for me. Adam and I talked for literally hours. We joked and talked about serious subjects. He didn't mock me because of anything in my past. When I got home on Wednesday afternoon, I was really confused. I wanted to be with Sarah but I wanted to be with Adam, too. Then Shelly appeared Thursday morning. I sort of knew she hung out up there. I mean, I knew the girl I rode with on the bus spent time in one of the apartments up that way. I didn't know much about her life but I could see from her bearing that she was struggling with the role in which she had been cast. The car ride to the airport was like nothing I've ever expected. Shelly was a completely different girl. Then I realized it was partly an act. She wasn't different. She was still sweet and lovely but she had gained an adventurous streak.

"I didn't mean for yesterday to happen with you, Shelly. I felt badly about it because I felt like I might have pushed you into it. It's nice to know that you didn't feel pressured and that you don't view me as some sort of predator."

Shelly vaulted off the couch and hugged Allie tightly.

"I don't," she said. "I wanted it and I knew I could stop it anytime I wanted to. I just didn't want to."

She kissed Allie softly on the lips and smiled warmly at her. She didn't return to the couch but sat close to Allie on a chair.

"Well, Sarah and I are smart enough to know that Adam will choose you if it comes to a contest," Allie said.

"Adam doesn't know that," he put in.

Sarah looked at him sadly.

"You should know that," she said. "You barely know us."

He nodded.

"But I barely know Shelly either," he said. "I care about the person I've seen in that body for the past few months. I'll admit that. I'm protective of her, probably over-protective. She is changing not by the week or month or even by the day. Shelly is changing by the hour. The girl I knew and protected is gone. It was the façade, not the real her. I like the person she is growing into as much as I liked the older version but she is as new to me as either of you."

Shelly nodded and frowned a little.

"I worried about that," she admitted. "Actually, I worried about both things. There are going to be things about me that Adam finds troublesome – for instance the fact he won't need to stand up for me and fight my battles all the time anymore. I need to learn to fight on my own. I'll expect my friends behind me but I won't hide behind my friends. I know a showdown is coming with my parents and probably with Eric, too. Adam will want to do what he's always done: stand in front of me and keep everyone from saying or doing anything hurtful to me. He won't have a problem with me standing up for myself. I know him well enough to know that. He doesn't think women are weak.

"But he will have a problem if someone says or does something spiteful. He'll have the same problem with you two. I can see that already. He wanted to strangle Sven – and he still might. I think he would batter Sarah's landlord senseless if he got the chance. We have to let him know we're all equal."

"My old landlord is already senseless," Sarah said with a slight giggle. "I think I can safely speak for Allie in this. Neither of has ever had someone willing to stand up for us. My parents were nice but they expected me to deal with things on my own. Allie lost any hope of that when her folks died. I sort of liked it when Rachelle and the rest of the guys got angry over things. I liked it when I saw how angry Adam was at Sven."

"Me, too," Allie said. She gave Adam a fond glance.

"But I am used to fighting for myself and so is Allie," Sarah pointed out. "I disagree a little with Shelly. I don't want you behind me – well, unless we're in bed and it goes that way – but I would like you beside me."

"And inside you," Shelly said with a chuckle. "That is more of what I meant, I think. In the future, I would expect all of us to stand together when something bad happens to any of us."

"Which is a really great plan," Adam said. "I like all of you. I really do. And I mean, like, like. Not just like. But none of us really knows much about any of the others. Sure, I'm pretty much an open book. I haven't changed much in probably 10 years."

"Bullshit," Shelly spat. "You've change a lot in the past few weeks, let alone from when I first met you. Sure, parts of you are the same. But you're different, too. I've watched you grow and mature. I saw the change in you when you came back from Missouri. I saw a bigger change after you got rid of Lisa. I've seen an even bigger change since you've met Sarah and Allie. You've always been a nice guy, Adam. But now you're more fun and much warmer. Even around Mary and the rest of them, you're more open and friendly. You're easier to talk to and be around. You have started to really come into your own as a person."