Chapter 2

Okay, this is becoming weird, and not a little uncomfortable.

After my sexy little late-night encounter with Dirk, I'd gone back to my room. J.T. was still up, while a half-sober Ray had stumbled in only moments ahead of me. Being somewhat shitfaced, Ray wasn't exactly shy in whooping it up over my tiny shorts and skimpy tank top.

"Whoa! Where's the party, and how come I wasn't invited?" He literally burped it out.

I just smirked. "Nice. At least your eyes still seem to work. I'm not so sure how much longer we'll be able to say that about your liver."

"Fuck my liver! He's no fun! That's fun!" he said, pointing to my dramatic camel toe. Glancing down, I realized I'd never bothered to pull my thin shorts from my pussy before returning to our room. I also noticed that at least my lips weren't still peeking out.

A laughing J.T. smacked my ass, then he yanked my shorts up to give me another thong wedgie. When I slapped at his hand, he pulled me down beside him on his bed. "Screw it," I giggled, leaning back against the wall to face them. After I'd wrapped my arms around my raised knees, Ray pointed between my legs while sloshing out, "Didja have yourself a little accident there?"

J.T. and I looked to where Ray was pointing. I smirked again, and J.T. gave me an accusing grin when we saw what was plainly a large wet spot on my shorts, right over the mouth of my pussy. Due to the way I was sitting, those tiny shorts were sucked directly into my drenched pussy. This time it was more like a g-string, with definite lippage peeking out on either side of the narrow strip of nylon.

Deciding to tease them, I subtly spread my legs.

"Ray, I know you're drunk and all," I smiled, "but you might want to learn to develop some sort of edit function between your brain and your mouth. It's really not polite to point at and talk about a girl's body like that."

"Huh?? Since when? You've been running around here naked every night, and now I'm not allowed to talk about your body?"

"Yeah, what's up with that?" laughed J.T. "And what's up with that?" he added gleefully, going right back to the sight of my obviously drooling pussy.

"What can I say? It's a hot book," I said, holding up my vampire novel. I really didn't want to get into the whole Dirk thing with them.

Not then, and maybe never.

After peeling off my top and shorts, I climbed under the covers, laughing to myself over the hungry-dog looks they gave me when I bared my breasts to them. "Good night, guys," I grinned.

A few minutes later the lights were off, and for the first time I let J.T. fuck me with Ray in the room. I was facing Ray while J.T. took me from behind, but it didn't matter since Ray was already sawing logs.

Really, though, none of that was the uncomfortable part. I'd quickly adjusted to doing whatever I wanted in their little dorm room. Although I wasn't blatantly flaunting myself to Ray the way I had that first day, I did simply begin to dress and behave the same whether Ray was there or not.

No, the uncomfortable part came when we did our auditions for the play. First off, I quickly discovered that this wasn't merely an Off Broadway play, it was a way Off Broadway play! Talk about low-budget, and what a crappy theater! Here I was, imagining myself in a slightly smaller scale "Phantom of the Opera." Instead, this place was off of some alleyway in Times Square. The theater only held maybe a few hundred people. Still, it was a professional play, and if I landed the part I would at least have that on my résumé, along with a little extra spending money.

The initial thing that made it difficult was when Katherine politely let J.T. know she wouldn't be able to use him in the play. He was definitely bummed about it, though he seemed genuinely happy for me when Katherine said she was excited about my potential.

Things really got weird at my second audition, a couple of days later. J.T. came along again, and holy shit but was his face something to behold when Dirk walked through those double doors.

Poor J.T., he looked like someone had just run over his dog.

Katherine waited until we were all together before telling us the game plan. "Jen, I want to try having you do a scene with Dirk here. Dirk, this is Jen. Jen ... Dirk."

"No need for introductions," Dirk said. "We went to the same high school. We've already done a couple of plays together."

"Excellent!" said the always bubbly, hyper-enthusiastic Katherine. "You guys should already have some familiarity with each other!"

Long story short, I got the part, and so did Dirk. During the cab ride back to our dorm, that's when things really became uncomfortable.

"I fucking can't believe it. I just cannot believe it. That asshole!" said J.T., fuming.

"What's the big deal? It's not like you really cared about being in this play anyway," I said, playing dumb.

"You're right, I really don't care. I never thought I was gonna get the part anyway. I'm no actor, and I don't look anything like Clapton. I know that. It's him! Dirk! You know how much I hate that guy! Goddammit, I can't believe it! No matter what, I just can't seem to get away from that fucker! First he gets my position on the football team. Now he's going to fuck my girlfriend again!"

This was the angriest I had ever seen J.T. It was also the most honest I'd ever seen him.

I tried to soothe his ego a bit. "Again? J.T., you're the only person I've ever fucked. What's this 'again' stuff? It's a play. It's only acting. Whatever they have us do, you know it won't be real. Come on, we're not really going to be fucking."

That's when J.T. broke down and told me his side of what happened in high school with his girlfriend, the one he said Dirk stole from him. I have to say, it was really nice to see him being a little honest with me for once.

"How come you never told me this before, especially after Dirk moved in right next to you at the dorm?" I asked. "No wonder it drives you crazy to hear him constantly fucking all those girls."

"Yeah, you're telling me. That guy is beyond lucky."

"J.T., please, as if you've ever been lacking in the frequent-fucking department. You've been having just as much sex as he has, ever since I've known you. Before you started fucking me you were doing a different girl every week, and we both know you haven't stopped now that we're together. Even after I let you fuck me - even after I let you turn me into a total slut - you still fuck plenty of other girls. You have nothing to complain about."

He continued silently fuming, until eventually his expression softened. "I know he's going to fuck you, Jen. You know it, too."

Hoping I was gauging his mood correctly, I grinned mischievously. "Maybe I should just let him fuck me. I should at least encourage him with a little teasing and flirting, don't you think? Seriously, would that be so bad? I mean, god, you're always getting on me about loosening up and becoming more flirty and adventurous. You can't deny you love it when I let Ray see me."

"That's Ray, not Dirk. Ray's my friend, and he's not trying to fuck you."

"How do you know he's not?" I asked coyly, feeding the fire.

J.T. just looked at me.

Damn it, I couldn't keep it going. First my lips curled into a shaky little grin, then I tried to suppress a giggle, and finally we both laughed.

"Okay, fine, Ray isn't trying to fuck me ... at least not yet, anyway. He should be, though, so why isn't he, especially after I practically offered him my pussy on a silver platter! Aren't I hot enough?"

"Jen, please. Ray would fuck you in a heartbeat. That's about how long he would last, too, if you ever let him. He's absolutely in lust with you, and you know it."

Grinning evilly, he was back to being his usual J.T.

"Sounds to me as if you kind of like that idea," I said. I was fishing; deflecting and fishing.

J.T. thought about it for a few moments. "Do I actually want you to fuck Ray? No, I can't fully say that. I'm not sure there, but yeah, I do like the way you've been acting so much sexier with him lately."

"Oh, come on, who do you think you're kidding? When I was naked and wrestling with Ray, you totally got a huge boner. You got another one when you saw him staring at my pussy in my little shorts. I know you like the idea."

Letting that one hang there, I flashed him a teasing grin.

By saying nothing, he admitted I was right. I took another chance...

"What if Ray had fucked me that first day I got naked for you guys? I was right there on his bed, totally spreading my legs for him. I pooched my bare ass way up high, and I even pulled it open to let him look. Most guys would've considered that an obvious offer, so what would you have done if Ray had gone ahead and fucked me?"

J.T. quickly deflected. "Would you have let him?"

"As turned on as I was, and if you didn't mind? Yes, I would have let him fuck my brains out, but that's not the point," I said, volleying it back. "We're talking about you and the way you like to show me off, and how far do you want to go with it? Would you have let Ray fuck me? Does that get you off, the idea of your friends seeing me naked and fucking me? I know on some level it does. Your hard cock always says so."

Noticing the conspicuous silence, it suddenly hit me that we were having our lurid discussion in the back seat of a moving taxi cab! I glanced forward, and the leering cabbie was scoping me in the rearview mirror.

'Whatever, ' I thought. 'This is my life now. These things are going to keep happening to me, so I'd better just get used to the idea.'

I looked over at J.T., my impatient stare pressing him for an answer. Truthfully, I didn't even care about his answer. I just wanted to avoid having him turn it back on me.

I guess I really am learning more and more every day. As I become more openly sexual, I'm learning about these little verbal deception games. I'm even beginning to understand how J.T. must feel all the time, since he's always having to lie, spin, and change the subject!

"I don't know, Jen," he finally said. "I like the idea of you being so hot, especially the way you go naked in front of us and all that, but I don't know how jealous I would be if you really did it with someone else."

"You might be okay with it if it was Ray, but probably not Dirk," I offered.

"Yeah, I guess," he said, not very convincingly. "I hate Dirk. The more I think about it, though, fuck, maybe I do like the idea of him seeing how hot you are ... you know, how amazing you've become lately. You're way better-looking and much sexier than any of his girlfriends, so yeah, I guess I like the thought of showing you off to him. I'm sorry, I know that's 'shallow' of me or whatever, but it's the truth. The more you make me think about it, the more I like the idea of him seeing what I have, okay?"

"But you're still not sure that you want me to fuck him, just like you're not sure whether you want me to fuck Ray."

"Yeah, maybe. Fuck, I don't know. I don't even think I care if you fuck Ray. He's just ... Ray. It wouldn't mean anything to you, so it wouldn't mean anything to me either."

"J.T., you seem to be forgetting something," I said, a little shocked by his cavalier attitude. Oddly, though, I also realized I wasn't angry, and that surprised me. 'I'm really starting not to recognize myself, ' I thought.

He gave me a challenging look. "What's that? What am I forgetting?"

"Uhhh ... duh! Hello?! You're the only person I've ever had sex with ... remember? I may be loosening up about how I dress and flirt around the dorms, but it's not like I've suddenly started fucking tons of guys! Sex is still a big deal to me, you know. I was a virgin just a few months ago, or have you already forgotten that too? Jesus, J.T., not all girls are like your porno sluts!"

"So you're saying you'd fall all in love and stuff with Ray just because you had sex with him? If I ever see you two in bed together it would mean you've fallen for him, and you're gonna dump me?"

That one actually stopped me in my tracks.

"Umm ... maybe," I said, hesitantly. "I don't know! Isn't that what it's usually supposed to mean when a guy finds his girlfriend in bed with another man? If I'm having sex with someone, isn't it supposed to mean that I feel something for him?"

"It's just fucking, Jen. It's just sex."

"Is that all we do?" I asked pointedly. "Just sex ... just fucking? It could be anybody, and it wouldn't matter?"

"You know what I mean."

"So, okay, if it's 'just fucking' with Ray, why would it be any different for you if I let Dirk fuck me too? I barely even know him. By your logic, it'd be 'just fucking' with either one of them. As long as I don't have strong feelings for the guy, I can fuck anybody I want, and you shouldn't care."

"It's different with Dirk," he said.

I noticed his responses were becoming clipped. Also, his voice was losing its confidence.

"Different, how? Ray or Dirk, either way it ought to be 'just fucking' for me, according to you. If it's 'just sex, ' why would you care? That's what you do, right?"

"Not with you, Jen. You know that," he said, his voice at least rising in pitch.

"Uh-huh. Okay, so if I have this straight, you don't mind at all if Ray and I have sex, but you're not sure how you'd feel if I let Dirk fuck me. On one level you like the idea, while on another it scares you."

"I never said I was scared. I said I hate the guy, and I'm just not sure what I think, other than it would be cool for me to have him really see how hot you are. You being with him that way, you know, in the play, I like the idea of making him jealous, okay?"

"You just aren't sure yet about the idea of us having sex."

"Yeah."

"Okay, what about just fooling around, though, even if it's only acting? This all started with you saying he's going to fuck me, but right now that's neither here nor there. What we know for certain is that he and I are going to be performing simulated sex in front of a live audience - including you at some point, I would hope. Watching us, how are you going to feel? Sweetie, we're going to be fully making out and fucking. Sure, we'll only be pretending to fuck, but we have to make it look good, and we're going to be making out for real. We can't fake that. So, knowing all this, do you want me to tell Katherine I can't do the play?"

"No, don't do that. It would be totally shitty of me to make you quit. Even I'm not that big of a jerk. I know you want to act, and being in this play could turn out to be a really big deal for you. Whatever happens, I'll just have to live with it. Do me a favor, though."

"What kind of favor?" I asked, impressed by his sudden change of attitude. 'Wow, ' I thought. 'He actually can be a little mature sometimes. Who knew?'

"Just don't let him enjoy it too much, okay?" he grinned. Pinching my nipple, he made me squeal with laughter.

"Look, if I do let him enjoy it, I'll make sure to tell you all about it," I said, returning his grin. "Will that work? Come on, you love it when I turn other guys on. In fact, wouldn't it be better for you if I went out of my way to turn him on as much as I can, every chance I get? He'll be all crazy horny, totally dying to fuck me, but he'll know I'm yours. Wouldn't that be super hot for you?"

J.T. just smirked. "This is about to get weird, isn't it?"

"Uncomfortable too, maybe. I don't know whether I'll be able to handle it."

"Oh, you'll handle it just fine," he smiled, squeezing my hand. "You've always been weird. I'm the one who's about to become uncomfortable."

We'd reached a détente. Again ... wow. He was right, though. The weirdness was just beginning, and the level of discomfiture would only treble from here on out - for both of us.

As the taxi made its way through our sprawling campus, I stared out at the mottled gray sky. The rolling grounds were an explosion of leafy colors, and kids just like me were everywhere. I saw groups of students laughing and gesturing wildly to each other. Girls were scurrying around, chatting excitedly on cell phones. Stealing a moment of intimacy beneath a blooming cherry tree, a cute couple kissed while making love with their eyes.

They were all just like me. They were kids struggling to grow up; kids trying to forestall ever having to grow up. Knowing how uncertain we were about the prospect of life beyond the safe cocoon that was our insulated little college world, most of us wanted to hang on to being kids as long as we could.

Then it dawned on me that no, most of them probably weren't much like me at all. I'd only just turned eighteen, and already I was throwing myself into the deep end. Things were about to become really intense.

Watching the last vestiges of my innocence reflected in the faces of all those carefree students, I thought, 'Welcome to growing up, on stage in New York City. You wanted this, Jennifer, and now you're going to get it.'

Wooo, a professional play is nothing like our old school plays.

'Hectic' would be the word. Everything's hectic, with everybody always seeming to be in a huge hurry. Everyone is constantly drinking coffee, and practically every last person smokes. There sure are a lot of bitchy people, too. I guess it's the fact that this is how they're making a living. There's more pressure, so the petty jealousies and competitiveness go through the roof, at least compared to how it was in school plays. Those were just fun times; little more than extended slumber parties.

This is obviously serious business.

It's not all bad, though. Katherine, the director, is just an absolute doll. She's so sweet and friendly, and always totally supportive. While everyone else is running around pissing and moaning, she's this wonderful flat sea of calm in the middle of a raging storm. Of course I tend to hang out with her most of the time. She immediately seemed to take me under her wing, and I was more than happy to let her. Whatever she wanted me to do, I was going to do it. I just knew she would look out for me.

The first full rehearsal was kind of fun. The producers showed up, and all they wanted to see was Dirk and the band perform an actual song. That was their big thing. They didn't want the play to get trashed in the press for something as obvious as a poor performance by the band, or the Clapton character sounding horrible. It took a while, but Dirk was right, he does a fairly awesome Clapton. With the way they did his clothes, hair and make-up, along with his nailing of Clapton's body language, yeah, he was pretty deece, despite being ten years younger than Clapton was during the "Layla" era. His singing voice even sounded a lot like Clapton's, and I was shocked at his British speaking accent. It was really good!

I swear to god, once Dirk belted out "Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad," I became totally wet. I had never heard that song, but he showed me the lyrics before rehearsal. When he actually sang it that day, staring at me as he cried out like he was in real pain, I knew I was in trouble.

I'm having fun, though, especially since they always have me wearing "period correct" clothes. What that means is I get to wear real hippy chick stuff! Cool! They usually seem to dress me up in a poet's shirt and a long, flouncy peasant skirt, though sometimes I'll be in a micro-mini dress or pencil-thin leather pants, like I'm some posh Londoner. They're adamant that I never wear a bra either, which is so killer!

"Jen, you're a lot more stacked than the real Layla, you know," Katherine grinned one day before rehearsal, then she giggled, saying the critics would probably be willing to overlook that fact in my case.

I love working with Katherine. She's just so great to be around. Right off the bat she became like a big sister to me, and my new best friend. I think she likes me, too. I mean she likes me. The way she sometimes looks at me, I can tell.

I don't mind. Actually, I love it.

One evening Katherine took Dirk and me aside to go over the script.

Wow. I mean ... wow. There was certainly a lot of nudity, that's for sure. I was to be completely topless for three scenes, and in another we were supposed to trade off giving each other oral sex! There was also one where we climb into bed together and fuck, and not just missionary either. They wanted us to do it in a couple of positions, including having me on top, riding him like crazy.

Katherine explained that for some scenes the lighting would be really dim, or almost completely dark. Either that, or we'd be covered by the bed sheets. Or both. She said the lighting would be super important during this one scene that had us ending up in a "sixty-nine." I didn't want to tell Katherine, but I didn't even know what that meant.

Reading the directions in the script, I soon figured it out! Jesus! I hadn't even done that yet in real life!

"This is all supposed to be faked?" asked Dirk. He seemed dubious as to how we could possibly fake some of this stuff without looking totally lame.

"Yep," she said. "Actors perform simulated sex scenes every day, even in live theater. Most of the time, they're simply covered with a sheet or whatever. When that's not possible, it's usually just a matter of lighting and positioning. The point is to make it look like they're really doing it, without showing the audience too much."

She explained that some of the scenes required Dirk to be fully nude, though he probably wouldn't be facing the audience then. She was still debating that one. She added that although I would be topless, and the audience would see my bare breasts, I would always at least be wearing panties.

Okay, I was prepared for that. I knew there would be partial nudity, and for a woman that usually means going topless, but I was pretty shocked that Dirk would be totally naked.

One of the first scenes she had us rehearse was an argument that ends with the two of us flinging ourselves into each other's arms for a long, hot kiss. She wanted to see how convincing we looked together. "Okay, that was great. Now let's do it again. Make it real," she kept saying, almost like a mantra.

She always wants us to be more convincing. Above all else, that's her biggest concern. No matter what we do, her comments follow that same theme. "Dirk, that's not how you would do it to her in real life, is it? Do it the way you'd really do it!" Or her favorite one: "Jen, you want this man like crazy, but you're conflicted. Show it. Show him. Show the audience. Show us how desperately you want him!"

'Now isn't that ironic?' I thought, smiling to myself.

She's always so wildly supportive, constantly saying things like, "Jen, I know you can do it! This is a piece of cake for an actress like you!"

She is just totally awesome. Not only does she always make me feel like I can do it, she absolutely makes me want to do it. She shows so much confidence in me, I never want to disappoint her.

Telling J.T. and Ray about the script and the first rehearsal was ... interesting. Ray couldn't believe I was going to be giving a "blowjob" on stage. He thought it was the coolest thing ever, especially once I told him that Dirk would be returning the favor by going down on me. Slobbering like an excited basset hound, he begged me to sneak him into the next rehearsal. He was only half kidding, and I think the half that was kidding was only kidding. J.T. actually grunted when he found out that Dirk would be fully nude with me, at least for one long sex scene.

He asked, "If you're always supposed to keep your panties on, why does he have to be naked?"

"Maybe Katherine just wants to see his big dick!" laughed Ray, which made me laugh too. Even J.T. couldn't help but snerk over that one.

"I don't really know," I said to J.T. "All I know is she thinks it's important for believability, which is always her big thing. She said it would mainly be important for the sixty-nine scene. Or maybe it was the morning sex scene? I'm not sure, actually."

"You're gonna do a sixty-nine scene?!" exclaimed J.T. "Do you even know what that is?"

Since Ray was listening, I was going to lie, but I decided not to. "No, I didn't, not at first," I admitted, blushing. "Then I read the script some more, and it was pretty easy to figure out."

"You always were a smart girl," Ray quipped.

J.T. had a pained expression, as if to say, "We haven't even done a sixty-nine yet!"

I just shrugged. What could I say? What I did manage to offer was that it was only acting; it wasn't as if it would be real.

J.T. finally blurted out, "Why is all this crazy sex stuff necessary anyway? I thought it was supposed to be a musical, with just some occasional nudity and a little playing around beneath the sheets."

I told him what I knew. "They want something exciting and different; something that will scandalize an audience and create a stir. They say this hasn't been done before; this story, told this explicitly. They think it brings these people down to earth, these gods, Eric Clapton and George Harrison. Rather than be so polite about it, the way people always are when they approach these kinds of subjects, the writer and the producers and Katherine all agree that by showing the real human element of the lust between Clapton and Layla it will make the story much more believable. They also figure it will be a whole lot more exciting for the audience. They're banking on the Perv Factor to help put 'butts in the seats, ' as they put it. Anything to get more publicity, really."

Before the next rehearsal, Katherine took Dirk and me aside again. "Okay, let's start getting you two used to being with each other without any clothes on. We're going to have to do it eventually, and I want you guys to look natural when you're together. You need to be able to move around on stage without looking like you're terrified of being seen naked, either by each other or especially the audience."

The first thing she had us do was go to our dressing rooms and change. She wanted me in nothing but panties and a little silk robe, while Dirk was to slip into a pair of matching silk pajama bottoms.

When we came back out, she cleared the stage except for one lighting guy.

"Ignore him. Get used to ignoring him, and everyone else too. It's just you two, always," Katherine said.

She had us recite our lines to a scene that comes to a climax when I cry out to Dirk, "You know I love you, but we just ... can't!" This was to be followed by Dirk pulling me in for a smothering kiss, silencing my protests. That's exactly what he did, and he sure dove in with gusto! While crushing our lips together, he held me close, forcing my breasts against his chest. Our kiss was only supposed to last about ten seconds, but Katherine must have lost track of the time because she let us go on for what seemed like forever!

When we finally broke the kiss, she smiled with a look of obvious satisfaction. "That was good. Give me more."

He kissed me again, and this time I felt his tongue trying to slip between my lips. When I tentatively parted them, he slid right in; from there I couldn't help myself. Opening all the way, I moaned into his mouth, then we simply started tongue-lashing each other. As we were kissing, I could feel his huge dick pushing into me. He moved his hands down to my barely covered bottom, pulling me against his cock. I pressed my breasts to his bare chest, and we basically just made out in front of Katherine.

It wasn't long before his hands slid beneath my robe and directly onto my ass, then he began squeezing my bottom and grinding his hard cock right into my pussy. Finally Katherine said, "Okay, stop. That was excellent. That's what I want. Always, guys, exactly like that. Jen, that was perfect. At first you seemed a little uncertain, then you gave your mouth to him, and your body totally softened. Dirk, you couldn't help yourself. You just want to devour her! Again ... perfect! You two look gorgeous together!"

I was fucking flying. That was so hot!! I just wished she hadn't stopped us. I absolutely loved when Dirk slid his hands onto my ass. Katherine didn't even tell him to do it, which only made it that much hotter. It was like making out at a drive-in movie, with my best friend watching from the front seat.

God, it was so sexy. My pussy was screaming.

As soon as Katherine had us stop, her eyes and mine immediately locked on to Dirk's enormous erection, which was making just a crazy tent in his silk pajamas. He tried to turn away from us to hide it, and Katherine laughed, "Awesome! You two are so awesome together! That's the kind of passion I want! See what you did to him, Jen?"

Oh yeah, I sure saw. I felt, too.

When we went to change back into our normal clothes, Dirk came to my dressing room. He was still wearing his pajamas, and I was sitting at the vanity in my little robe. I couldn't help it; I had to check out his cock again. Though he wasn't fully erect anymore, he was definitely at least semi-hard, which I could clearly see in his skimpy pajamas. As I watched his long, thick shaft bob and sway beneath the thin silk, the circumcised head looking like a ripe apple just waiting to be plucked from the tree, my mouth watered. I think I even bit my lip.