Chapter 15

Friday, September 14 morning {Bob}

Everybody knows that some days start better than other days. Friday was one of those days for me. Finding out that I wasn't persona non grata with Chris after all had made it a pretty good Thursday night too, for that matter. The only deleterious comments were made by my penis when I grabbed him to celebrate the fact that I still had a pretend girlfriend.

"What? Again with the hand?" he complained.

"Shut up!" I barked at him. "At least you still have a breath of a chance of possibly being lucky enough to be touched by her hand some day."

"Promises, promises," my ornery member gasped as I started stroking.

He gets over it pretty quickly, though, and within a minute or two of imagining Chris being there, naked, saying we needed to practice having sex too so Bandit wouldn't be jealous, he was saying, "Here's cum in your eye!" and happily spurting.

And now, Friday morning, in the afterglow of all that, I stretched and saw it was sunny, and put food in Bandit's dish early. I usually didn't feed him until evening. But since I was feeling so good, I thought he should get to celebrate too.

The more I thought about how forgiving she had been, the more I began to think that maybe she liked me enough that it was a possibility for me to worm my way into her heart. I wanted to confess my love right away, but I also knew that was a double edged sword. If it scared her off I'd never forgive myself. And things seemed to have been going pretty well with me just being myself, though I knew it was possible she just felt sorry for what she perceived as a pathetic schlub.

Except that women who feel sorry for a pathetic schlub don't suggest that they might kiss their way down ... there.

"Whup! Hello!" said my penis, jerking to attention. "I'm definitely down for that," he said.

"I thought I dealt with you last night," I said.

"Been there, done that, got that T-shirt," he quipped back. "I'm ready to move on to luscious blow jobs."

"That's a crude name for it," I growled. "She has class."

"Okay," my penis twitched. "I'm ready to move on to luscious suck jobs. You've felt her tongue in your mouth. Now it's my turn."

"Ohhhh damn," I groaned. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Other way around, Sport." I don't know how a penis can sound superior, but mine did. "It's your thoughts I work off of, in case you've forgotten."

Just to spite him I pulled him out, thought about Chris' tongue, and started choking my particular verbose chicken.

It was right in the middle of that that my phone rang. I would have ignored it, normally, but nobody called me that early in the morning unless it was important. With cock firmly in grasp, I lifted the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Bob!" came her voice. "I'm so glad I caught you before you went to work."

My hand started stroking again, and I looked down at it.

"What are you doing?" I asked it.

"Giving you an update," said Chris. I realized I had spoken to my hand out loud.

"She's on the phone!" said my penis. "Don't stop!"

"I must be crazy," I muttered.

"What?" Chris sounded concerned.

"I'm just not completely awake," I said. "Did you say you wanted an immediate date?"

She laughed. "No, silly. I said I was giving you an update."

My prick started oozing. "Oh man, I love that woman," it panted.

"Oh," I said into the phone. "Okay then, go ahead, I'm all ears."

"Why are you panting?" she asked. "Are you having another asthma attack?"

"Just a tiny one," I said, trying to make the good feeling last, while feeling like a complete pervert for beating off to the sound of my non-girlfriend-who-I-was-non-the-less-in-love-with's voice. "I'll be okay in a minute."

"All right," she said. "I worry, but you know how to self treat your problem, so I'll have faith in you."

"I'm definitely self treating," I gasped as my prick spat a stream of spunk in an arc that left a stripe of white on the kitchen floor. It added two more and started shrinking. I saw Bandit sitting beside his food bowl. He wasn't eating. He was just looking at me like he was thinking, "You poor, pathetic schlub."

"Good. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that John was very appreciative of how much we spent on him. He sent roses this morning, with a note that he's taking me to Le'Shey tonight."

"Fancy place," I said, my voice normal now. Finally my penis was limp and uncommunicative, and I could concentrate on talking to her.

"Yes. I'm sure it will be nice. But I wanted you to know that, while that will be nice, I'm looking forward to Saturday night."

"Me too," I said. "I have to warn you, though, with me you're much more likely to see the inside of Stuckey Bowl and Harry's Hot Dog Heaven than something like Le'Shey."

"I love hot dogs," she said, her voice seductive. "Especially when they're long ... and firm ... and tasty."

"I fully approve," I said, except that somehow it came out as "Urgh."

She laughed. "You are so cute; I could just eat you all up."

"You could?" I croaked.

"I sure could, Lover Man. I -- Oh shoot! Someone's at the door." She sighed. "I'll call you when I get in tonight. If you don't mind, that is."

I assured her I didn't in any mind her calling me no matter what time it was and she giggled and said she'd talk to me later.