Chapter 7

I'll be honest and tell you that I actually thought for a long, hard moment about what my brothers Scott and Steve had tried to tell me earlier. That I should start looking like a girl and maybe even acting like one. I mean, this was my chance, sort of. I was going to a party just so I could see Brian Hades, a boy I kinda liked, sorta. I didn't have any girl clothes though, even if I did want to change, and it felt like a betrayal anyway. Everybody always said "Be true to yourself" and then they were saying "Be what people expect" and now ... Well, I guess I was just mad at the world, you know?

So I changed quickly, wearing old jeans with holes in the knees, my old heavy work boots, and a dungaree shirt that had belonged to at least three of my brothers before me and looked like it. I pulled my Mariners cap backwards over my head and didn't bother with so much as a glance in the mirror. I am what I am, as Popeye says and it would be up to Brian to decide if he liked me or not. I'd almost gotten out the door when I had a wicked thought.

I knew I was a boy on the inside and Brian expected me to be a girl on the outside. Everyday that week he'd been feeling me up every chance he got during football practice, grabbing my ass, rubbing my little boobs. He'd even tried to feel my pussy, but that nut cup had turned out to be good for something after all. I didn't want anyone rubbing me down there, not even Brian. I wished my cup wasn't locked up in the school locker room. How cool would it be, I wondered, to walk around a party with a big ol' bulge in my jeans? And when Brian tried to feel me up, heh! Wouldn't he be surprised? Or maybe he'd think I was retarded. How many guys wear nut cups when they didn't have to? Those things sorta chafe, you know?

All that took about five seconds to flash through my little brain, but it paved the way for what I figured was a much better idea. If I had a dick ... I grabbed my backpack and dug down to the bottom, finding my brand new, hardly been used, strap-on dildo. It was big and sorta hard, but flexible too. It would bulge real nicely and if someone like Brian tried to get to third base with me, then by gosh he'd really be in for a shock! The thought of Brian kissing me and reaching down to rub my pussy and finding nine inches of hard cock was enough to make my tummy do flip-flops. I had no idea what would happen after that; I didn't want to think about it.

I dropped my jeans and my boxers and put on the dildo, finding it a hundred times more comfortable than that nut cup could ever hope to be. I stroked it a little, like I'd seen my friends doing when they jerked off, and felt my nipples hardening almost painfully. My pussy too was getting a little squishy; especially when the base of the thing rubbed against my little clit, so I figured I best not be jerking off too much. I could have probably just laid down on my bed and had a pretty good time with Brian all by myself! I'd save that for a later though.

Once I'd more or less pointed my new dick down, through the leg opening of my boxers, and pulled up my jeans, I felt pretty good about it. I could see the outline of the thing extending a good six inches along the inside of my left thigh. It looked awesome, I thought, and I walked around the room slowly, kinda pushing and pulling at it until I got it exactly where I wanted it. If someone happened to look, they'd see what appeared to be a pretty good sized cock just waiting for some attention. If a person wasn't particularly interested, well it just looked like my jeans were riding a little funny. I figured most people would know me anyways and not be looking for anything out of the ordinary.

It was getting later and later though and I still had to sneak out without getting caught. The good thing was that Daddy expected me to be at Matt's house, so I had the whole night to myself ... Depending on how Mark and David reacted to me being there. That was a big unknown. Anyway, sneaking out wasn't much of a big deal and I grabbed Henry's bike, since mine was still at Matt's house, and rode the half-mile or so into town quickly.

The party was at Josh Hoskins' house. He was an 18 year old senior and lived with his grandmother. I didn't know where she might be, but I guess she wasn't home cause she'd never let Josh have a party if she was, that's for sure. She musta been like 80 years old and spent most of her time going to church and complaining about her back. She couldn't remember none to well either, maybe cause she had a lot of years in her head, so she always called me Scottie, thinking I was my older brother before he grew up. I'd corrected her once or twice, but that had been a mistake because Old Lady Hoskins had some very strong opinions on how a young lady should dress and grow her hair. Mostly I just smiled when she called me Scottie.

Josh worked at a paper mill too, just a little one that turned out paper towels and toilet paper mostly. He drove an old Ford F150 that I'd spent about a hundred hours fixing all told. He couldn't ever pay much and my brothers didn't like him enough to do much more than pop the hood and tell him what was wrong. I liked him okay though, you know, he was just a guy. Josh seemed mostly unhappy most of the time and wanted to go someplace and do something, but he just didn't know what or how or where. We all know people like that.

"Hey, dude! Welcome to the party!" Besides, Josh treated me like a guy. He handed me a beer as soon as I'd dumped Henry's bike on the lawn. It was a cool September night and all the beer and quite a few people were sitting outside on the big front porch.

"Hey, man! Nice wheels!" Wade Stiles grinned at me. He was 16 and another kid from school I was cool with. We'd partnered up in shop to build a go-cart one semester and then a gun cabinet the next. His dad worked as a carpenter so Wade could handle himself pretty good with a saw and hammer, but he didn't know crap about machines. Now he had a decent cart and my dad had a nice rack for his hunting rifles.

"Hey, somebody was lookin' for ya, dude." The Boz held up his meaty hand for a high five.

He was big, like 300 pounds, and a senior. His real name was Chris Bozio, but everyone just called him The Boz cause he was the coolest guy in school. He just had one of those personalities, you know? Most people think charisma and looks are the same thing, like you can't have one without the other, but those people never met The Boz, all shaggy and fat and smiling and giving off waves of positive energy.

And there were a half-dozen more guys, all saying hi and asking me how I was doin' and if I could come by to look at their car or tractor or motorcycle. These were all good people, just hanging outside mostly because they didn't have a girlfriend, or maybe their girlfriend was working, or probably they just needed a break. All the girls were inside and I looked through the window as I drank my beer and talked to my buds.

They had the music going pretty loud, but not bad. Mostly you could do what you wanted until about midnight, then it had to be turned down some. I saw David and Mark were in there, sitting around on the floor with Jane and Sherry and a couple other high school couples. I saw Brian too, leaning in the doorway leading to Josh's kitchen, drinking a beer and smiling at Jackie Vale. She had long red hair, but really kinky like a big afro or something. She was tall too and like 16 or maybe even 17, which was way too old for Brian Hades, I thought. I felt something inside, jealousy maybe? It was something new and I didn't much like it, whatever it was.

I watched them talking and laughing and Brian even reached out to touch her, pretending like he wanted to look at some charm hanging from a gold chain around Jackie's skinny neck.

"Yeah, that's the guy," The Boz was saying. "Probably wants you to fix his moped or something!" He laughed and it made me smile.

"Put some training wheels on his new bike, maybe." I laughed too.

"Who are you talkin' about?" Wade handed me another beer, even though my first was only half finished. "Drink up, man!"

"That guy over there." The Boz gestured with his beer.

"Brian Hades," I said. "He's on the football team with me."

"He's gonna get his ass kicked if Mikey sees him," Wade shrugged.

"Mikey Thurmond?" I rubbed my cap back and forth over my head. Thurmond was the varsity quarterback and everybody figured he'd get a scholarship to play football at U-Dub or someplace. He was really good.

"Yeah, that's his girlfriend there," he nodded.

"She's hot though!" The Boz almost laughed. "It'd be worth an ass kicking to bone her."

"Yeah," Wade agreed and they both took a big gulp of their beers. I did the same, although I didn't think Jackie Vale was all that much.

"You gotta girlfriend yet?" Josh asked and I hadn't even realized he'd been standing behind us.

"Me?" I stared at him. "No!" I answered, making it sound like the dumbest question in the world. "Do you?" And that got Wade and The Boz laughing.

I figured Josh would get it, that I wasn't a lesbian or anything like that, but like I said before, most of the guys I hung out with figured I was. Some guys, like Josh, maybe really did forget that I was a girl underneath the clothes and manners I wore. I actually kinda liked that about him.

We drank more beer and talked and watched the people inside for a while longer. I'd more or less changed my mind about Brian, but that was getting to be normal in our seeming love-hate relationship. That's probably being over dramatic, but hey — he was my first crush, you know? And it confused the hell out of me! Part of me wanted to go in there and slap his face for no other reason than he seemed to have forgotten to even be looking for me. Another part of me wanted to ignore him altogether. Like face the fact that he wasn't my boyfriend and he didn't owe me a damned thing. That part was winning, but it wanted to spoil my mood too.

"I gotta go water the garden." The Boz turned away and walked to the end of the porch, intending to just piss over the railing, I guess.

"Hey! Don't piss on the rose bushes!" Josh yelled at him and that seemed funny to me.

Too funny and I realized the two beers I'd downed quickly had gone right to my head. I wasn't a lightweight like John, but being just a 14 year old kid had certain drawbacks, you know? I needed to use the bathroom too, but peeing over the railing just wasn't going to work for me and that's another fact of life I hated.

"Where's your bathroom, Josh?" I asked him and he gave me a funny look, maybe because I'd been to his house a bunch of times before. I'd never used the bathroom though.

"Oh, uh ... C'mon, I'll show ya." He pulled the screen door open, holding it for me, and I wondered if it wasn't some attempt to treat me like a girl suddenly. I felt a little bit of resentment, but shoved it back down. He didn't mean nothin' by it, I told myself. I was getting real sick of being so sensitive all the time.

It was louder inside and there were more people than I'd figured. Some guy played DJ with Josh's stereo, switching CDs after one or two songs. Other people, 4 or 5 guys I knew only vaguely at best, were playing quarters on the coffee table. About a dozen people, couples, were sitting around in what used to be the front parlor or something. The lights were softer, but I could see David and Mark still sitting close to the Hudson girls and obviously feeling relaxed. Other people, guys and girls, just seemed to be hanging out, talking and laughing and drinking happily away. It was a normal party, although most of the people were a lot older than me. They were high school juniors and seniors mostly except for the few I'd done work for, I didn't know them by much more than sight really.

Neither did Brian, I was sure, since he wasn't much older than me and didn't even have the benefit of having six older brothers. So far as I knew he was an only child, like his folks had spent every reproductive dime they had to build the ultimate kid. He was big and healthy and handsome, and if he woulda noticed me instead of that Jackie Vale's big tits, he would have been perfect. Instead I just turned my cap around so the bill covered my eyes and followed Josh right past Brian, into the hallway and towards the bathroom. I was just another guy at a party; doubtless Brian was waiting for something else.

Luckily the bathroom was empty and I slipped inside leaving Josh standing in the hallway. I wasn't sure what he was up to, really. He coulda just told me where it was and I hoped he wouldn't be waiting for me when I got done. It just seemed ... Weird.

I had to take off my strap-on, which was seeming like a really stupid idea anyway. I sat on the toilet, like the girl I am, holding my fake dick and frowning at it. I probably wouldn't have put it back on if I'd had any other choice, but it wasn't like I could stuff nine inches of molded rubber and plastic into my back pocket! I had to wear it now, and besides — it wasn't my dick's fault that I was so dumb. I strapped it back on and tucked it away and washed the taste of beer out of my mouth in the sink. I didn't really mind the taste of beer, and sometimes it was pretty good, but mostly I didn't like it nearly as much as I said I did. I don't think anyone does, honestly.

"Hi!" A girl stood outside the door when I opened it.

"Hi." I nodded and moved so she could get into the bathroom, figuring she must have been waiting to use it.

"I brought you this." She handed me a peach wine cooler and I took it out of reflex before I even realized it.

"Uh, thanks." I looked around and we were alone except for a few people hovering there by the entry to the living room.

"You're Ann, right?" She had a cooler of her own, but neither of us were drinking. I nodded and she smiled, "I'm Sandy Jordan. I go to school in Pullman."

"I, uh, go to school here." I felt a little sheepish and wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to be saying. I thought maybe I'd seen her before, but I couldn't be sure. I didn't usually pay a whole lot of attention to girls anyway.

Sandy laughed softly, looking at me and nodding. Or looking down at me, I should say. She was taller than me by a good six inches, not that I was very tall anyway, but I figured she must be at least 19 or 20, especially if she went to college. Maybe she wanted to hook up with one of my brothers, I thought. It wouldn't be the first time some girl had tried to get me to play matchmaker for her. I felt a little relieved, thinking I'd figured her out.

"You wanna talk a little?" she asked me and I shrugged, figuring I might as well get it over with. "Cool. Let's go in here..." She smiled and opened a door across the hall, walking in like she owned the place.

It must have been a spare bedroom, cause it didn't look really lived in, you know? It had all the furnishings, but none of the personal stuff a real person would have collected if they slept there every day. The only thing out of the ordinary was a Cougar backpack on the floor with some clothes half-folded over it and a purse on top of that. The only furniture was a made up twin sized bed and a couple nightstands with old fashioned Tiffany lamps glowing warmly.

I followed her in and Sandy closed the door behind us, then she sat on the bed, propping up some pillows and looking at me expectantly. There wasn't much else for me to do except sit on the bed too, so I did and finally took a long swallow of my wine cooler. It tasted pretty good, like juice more than anything, and sweet. Sandy had put hers on the nightstand, but I just held onto mine. She sat fully on the bed, leaning back against the pillows and the headboard with her legs crossed behind me. I'd stayed on the edge of the bed, looking over my right shoulder to see her.

"Do you know Josh?" I asked her, meaning how did she know him, since she was here at his party obviously.

"Yeah. He's my cousin, I just come up once in awhile. He said Grammy was gonna be out of town so..." Sandy grinned at me.

"So you're just here for the party, huh?" I grinned back. "That's cool."

"Come here." Sandy moved to her left. "Relax for awhile. I won't bite." She tilted her head to the spot next to her. "Much."

"Uh, okay." I thought this chick was pretty weird and sort of going a little too far just to get my brother's phone number. I put my wine cooler next to hers and slid next to her, not intending to get too close, you know, but it wasn't all that big of a bed.

"I'm 18, how old are you?" Sandy asked me. She'd turned slightly so we could face each other, but not like completely on her side. I looked back at her, but mostly I just looked at the ceiling.

"I'm fourteen," I told her, wondering what to do with my hands, and I looked down at them. "Oh shit!" I realized I had my boots on the bed and I started moving to get off of it. They weren't all that dirty, but they were boots, you know? "My boots, sorry."

Sandy put her hand on my shoulder and kind of pulled me back. "It's okay," she said with a smile and I sort of froze for a second. "I like your boots. I don't mind." She pulled me back to lie down once more beside her.

"I just don't wanna ruin your bed, you know?" I was lying down, but I kind of kept my feet over the edge as best I could. It all seemed pretty awkward.

"I know." She laughed and dismissed it all away with her hand. "I heard you fix cars and stuff. Even play football."

"Yeah, uh-huh," I nodded. "My old man owns a garage." I wasn't relaxing very much and laughed a little self-consciously, "Me and my brothers work there."

"You must be really good. Josh says you can fix anything." Sandy was still touching my shoulder, I realized, just kind of rubbing it gently through my shirt.

"Well, I don't know. I get a lot of help when I need it ... from my brothers, you know?" I really hoped she'd take the hint and start asking me about my brothers.

But instead she just seemed to turn a little more and get even closer. She smelled like strawberry baby powder, and I imagined I could even feel her warm breath on my ear. Sandy looked pretty cute, I'd give her that, and I knew my brothers would go for her. Well, most of them, I thought, remembering Scott with a secret smile.

Sandy was tall, but not skinny. She had some baby fat, but all of it in the right places, with large breasts under her pink halter top, really firm too from what I could tell. Not that I'd really stared or anything. And her tummy looked pleasantly round, like her hips and butt under her tight jeans. She had her belly button exposed and it had beenpierced with two gold rings. Sandy had hazel-green eyes, I noticed, and generous long brown hair that parted naturally down the middle and framed her pretty face. Yeah, Sandy was cute as hell and I wondered which one of my brothers she liked.

"You don't act like your 14..." Sandy said. "More like 17 maybe, or even 18, I think."

"Really?" I wasn't sure what to think of that. I knew it was a compliment, but I had a hard time believing her.

"Yeah," she sighed, making little circles on my arm with her fingernail. "Josh told me you were cool."

"He told you about me?" I decided I needed a drink and leaned over, but Sandy's finger just traced across my back. "What did he say?"

"Just that you're a good guy. Fun to hang around with," Sandy said, watching me drink and giggling as she took the wine cooler out of my hand. "I think this one's mine." She drank some too and put it down and we both leaned back against the headboard again.

"I like Josh," I said, thinking it was cool he thought of me like that. "He just needs a better truck."

"Yeah," Sandy's agreed quietly and I realized she'd gotten even closer to me than before. We were kinda running out of room.

"Ummm..." I tried to think of what to say, but my mind had gone blank the way it does sometimes.

"Do you have a boyfriend, Ann?" Sandy's voice was soft and I turned to look at her a little too quickly, so the bill of my ball cap caught her on the nose.