If you hate this story, see my other works here to hate them more:

https://storiesonline.net/a/Happenstance

https://storiesonline.net/a/rathskeller

Your comments are always welcome. Thank you.

Two days ago, my mom told me that she wanted to tell me something. When I asked her what it was, she said she’d tell me later. Then yesterday, she told me she wanted to tell me something.

Today, in the afternoon, when she again repeated that she wanted to talk about something, I snapped and told her to spit it out.

Around 10 minutes later, I was in my room when she opened the door, threw a diary, and said, “Read this. I am going to Lisa’s house.”

(Lisa was her friend.)

As I picked up the diary, I was totally unaware that the afternoon of June 16, 1876, would set off events that would change my relationship with my mother forever.

This is how the diary started: “I need to tell you something, but please read the whole thing before you start asking questions. I should have told you all this, but I kept waiting for the right time. Now that your aunt Caitlin is coming tomorrow, I need to tell you this.

“As you know, we were dirt-poor. My ma died when I was two years old, and my pa was always drunk as a skunk. Anyway, you know all that. The only person who cared about me in that godforsaken town was your father’s pa. The first time I ever wore a new dress was when he gifted me one on my 16th birthday. I still remember it was green with lacework all over it.

“One day, your father saw me in a market and told me his ma wanted to talk to me, so I went to her place. They were the richest folks in the town and had the biggest house.

“Your grandmother sat me down in her bedroom and gave me a beautiful gold pendant. She told me that your father liked me, but he was too shy to say it, adding that she knew I liked him, too. Though I was surprised when she said that, she wasn’t wrong. I liked your father. He was very handsome and was always impeccably dressed.

“She told me she thought of me as her own daughter. She said she wanted me to have my own house, especially as I was now alone with your grandpa, as your uncles and aunts had already moved out.

“She said I could move into their other house that was down the road, have all the beautiful clothes, and go on holidays with them.

“She, however, didn’t want people to claim that they had some ulterior motive or were taking advantage of my situation. She wanted everything to be above board. After all, they had an image to maintain in the town.

“She suggested that your father and I should get married. You should have seen how red my face turned and how my jaw dropped. I was dumbstruck. She urged me to think about it. But I wanted to shout, scream yes, yes, right then and there. Somehow, I managed to control myself.

“After three days, I went back to her and informed her that the answer was yes. She jumped with joy and hugged me tightly. Within three months, I was Mrs. McCarthy. The wedding was in St. Claire Island, and your father and I spent four days there. I got so many gifts. It was all like a fairy tale.

(St. Claire Island was a top honeymoon and wedding destination, especially among the rich folks.)

“We moved into the new house, which wasn’t as big as their own house, but it was beautiful. But the best thing was that it was my own. Everything was perfect except for one thing. Your father didn’t spend much time with me. I tried everything I could, but most of the nights he was out with Sean and Derek.

“Initially, I didn’t bother him much, because they were his old friends. But this went on for one month, which turned into three months, and then six.

“I was exasperated by then. I went to your grandmother and told her everything. She suggested we should temporarily move into their house so that she would be able to keep an eye on him. I thought maybe that would work, so I agreed.

“Two days later, we moved into their house. It was late evening, and I was in my bedroom alone when your grandmother came and handed me a bag. There was a transparent slip in it. She told me I should change into that. She said men liked it when women dressed like that. I got up and slipped into that.

“‘You are looking beautiful,’” she said as she peered at me from head to toe.

“I waited for your father. An hour later, he came back, but he didn’t even glance at me and went straight to bed.

“I lay down beside him and tried my best to get him interested, but again failed. As he slept, I sat on the bed and cried. In the past six months, he had come close to me only three times, and all for very brief periods.

“The one good thing was that I was carrying you. I don’t know how your father managed to do that ... maybe I got lucky.

“He was now helping his pa in his business, and I used to spend days either sewing clothes for you or taking walks in the gardens.

“In the morning, your grandmother asked me, and I told her that nothing happened, that he didn’t even look at me. She promised me that she’d talk to him in the evening.

“She called him into her room late in the evening and spoke with him, but nothing changed. Just like every night, he came to the bed, turned on his side, and went to sleep.

“The next day, your aunt Caitlin came to meet us. In the late afternoon, she offered me pomegranate juice. After drinking it, I began feeling very drowsy and sleepy. I somehow made it to my bedroom.

“I don’t remember much after that, but I do remember your grandmother sitting on the bed next to me and pinning down my arm. Your aunt Caitlin was holding my other arm, and your grandfather was on top of me.

“When I finally woke up, I was still on the bed, but without a shred of clothes. Caitlin was sitting there, feeding Connor.

“‘She’s up,’” she shouted.

“‘What happened?’” I inquired, looking at her.

“Your grandmother came, and, standing at the door, said, ‘Declan won’t do anything; he was always useless. I tried everything I could, but he likes chasing men; that’s the truth. I thought marriage would change him, you becoming pregnant would change him ... but nothing seems to work.

(Declan was my father.)

“‘A day before your marriage, after lots of shouting and screaming, he let me bathe him. She was there; she’d confirm it,’” your grandmother continued, pointing at Caitlin.

“‘I deliberately didn’t put on anything, and washed each and every part of his body, some parts more than once, but there was no reaction.

“‘Caitlin was feeding Connor, and she tricked your father by claiming that Connor wasn’t suckling properly and her chest was aching as it was full of milk. He agreed to suckle her. He drank nearly all her milk, but down there was no energy at all.

“‘What else could we do? I was ready to do that also, but that man turns into a statue the minute he sees a woman. I don’t know how he managed to get you pregnant.

“‘Forget Declan. Let him run after men. We will take care of you and all the babies you will have. Aidan will come to you whenever he wants, or you will go to him when he calls you. He, anyway, has always liked you. So many girls wanted to marry Declan, but Aidan always talked about you. He has had his eyes on you since god knows when.

(Aidan was my grandfather.)

“‘Now get up and wash yourself.’

“It was only when they left the room that I realized what they had done. I stayed on the bed for nearly an hour, thinking about everything. I thought about running from there, but where would I go? Pa was seriously ill and too old. My brothers and sisters had their own lives.

“Then there was the image of Caitlin pinning down my arm while her own father did me, and your grandmother trying to excite her own son. Unable to think clearly, I began pacing the room.

“At night, I was on the bed and knitting a sweater for you when your grandfather came and once again had his way with me. From then on, it became a regular thing.

“When we moved back to our house, he would come whenever he wanted, and if your father was there, he would ask your father to go to the living room.

“He usually came with your aunt Caitlin because he wanted her to wash him after he was done. She would stay in our bedroom, sitting in a chair, waiting for us to finish, then wash him. He loved that.

“One day, your father met a guy; he was five or six years older than him, and your father liked him so much that he asked him to move into our house after a month or so. Initially, he stayed in the guest room, but soon he started living like a family member.

“He began giving me tips on makeup and clothes. If I were taking a bath, he would come and bathe with me. Sometimes he would massage me, which I enjoyed as he was good.

“At first, they did their business in the guest room, then in the living room and kitchen, and soon in the bedroom. I would be lying on the bed, and he and your father would be doing their things beside me.

“I was so stupid. They would ask me to get oil, and I would get it. I felt anger at watching your father lie there on his stomach beside me, and the man pounding him like I wanted your father to pound me, but I slowly got used to it.

“After I gave birth to you, the man and your father would sometimes ask me to feed them. So, I’d feed you first, and then on one side would be your father and on the other side his ‘friend.’

“One afternoon, both of them wanted to be fed, but I was feeding you, and you were crying a lot. So your aunt Caitlin took you from me and started feeding you.

“After drinking my milk, they went to Caitlin, and she fed them while I fed your cousin, Connor. Feeding was the only time your father came close to me.”

“Their servant, Ian, was the only person who cared about me. The afternoon your aunt Caitlin drugged me, and your grandfather had his way with me, Ian took me to his room, which was at the back of the house, bathed me, and calmed me down.”

There were no entries after that. The diary ended. I kept staring at the page and read the whole diary again, and some parts again and again.

Leaving the diary on the bed, I got out of the house and began walking, and kept walking. I was overwhelmed with anger and sadness.

After walking aimlessly for well over an hour, I headed to a tavern where I stayed until it was dark, as I was too ashamed to see her face.

Sure that Mom would be in bed, I finished the drink and managed to reach the house without falling.

“I love you,” I whispered, lying down behind Mom.

Before she could respond, I pulled her close, draping my leg over hers and pressing my hand firmly against her stomach.

“I am so sorry, Mom,” I said as she snuggled into my 6’1” body.

“Sorry for what? We also got something in return, didn’t we? We have this house, you have your shop, I have you, and you have me,” she turned her head, looked at me with her blue eyes, and gave a smile.

As she said that, I embraced her more tightly and planted a long kiss on her cheek.

“Anyway, your grandfather and grandmother are no more, so getting angry won’t help. What’s done is done,” she commented, staring straight at the wall.

I wasn’t sure whether she was saying that to herself or to me.

“But Aunt Caitlin is,” I reminded her.

“Yes, she is, and she’s coming tomorrow.”

“It’s good that you left H.V.,” I told her, referring to the town where we lived.

“Well, you were growing up, plus by then I had saved some money, so leaving was the right thing to do. Though your grandfather wasn’t happy as the commute became too long, he continued to support us financially. Your father was already living with that man. I am happy that I left.”

“I am happy, too,” I stated.

“Why is Aunt Caitlin coming now? I don’t even remember when I last saw her.”

“She’s coming because I convinced her. We haven’t met in a long time, and I want to meet her,” she replied without turning her face or looking at me.

“Did it hurt?”

“What?” she inquired as she turned and lay on her back.

“I mean, did Grandfather hurt you?” I said.

My hand was still on her stomach, but my legs weren’t touching her. Though I couldn’t see much, as the only light coming in was from the window, I could feel the soft skin of her stomach under the slip.

“No, he didn’t. Come here,” she extended her hand and, putting it on the back of my neck, brought my face closer.

I placed my head just under her chin, with my face on the bare skin of her cleavage. I could faintly make out the shape of her nipples.

“Why did you write it in the diary? Why didn’t you simply tell me?”

“Why? You can read, can’t you? Give the diary back in the morning.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want anyone else reading it. I’ll burn it.”

“You should have killed Grandfather,” I told her, running my finger on her stomach over the slip.

“And they would have sent me to the gallows. And what about you? I’d have gone to the gallows with you still in my belly,” she remarked as she leaned forward and kissed the back of my head.

“Grandmother and Aunt Caitlin didn’t stop him?”

“Forget all that. How’s Edna?” she asked, referring to my girlfriend.

“I think you should marry her. Her parents aren’t happy that you see her. Marry her or stop meeting her. You are 16 anyway. Josh and Marty are already married,” she stated, referring to my friends.

Instead of replying, I bent my head a little and kissed the bare skin of her cleavage.

“Why don’t I have any brothers or sisters, Mom?” I queried.

She took a long breath, pushing her voluptuous boobs out, and said, “I got pregnant twice, but both times I had a miscarriage, which was good in a way, as I didn’t want his child.”

“Why did you feed that man?”

“He had never been with a woman, so I suggested that he could be with me, but only if your father was also with him. Both were with me, but it was obvious that both were more into each other, though both unloaded inside me. After that, your father only came to me if he wanted to be fed.”

“I love you, Mom,” I declared as I raised my head a little and again kissed her cleavage.

“Have you told Kian that you won’t be coming to the shop for the next four days?” she asked, referring to the boy who worked in my shop.

“Yes, I have. I’ve also told Edna.”

“Good. I want you here when Caitlin is here.”

We spent the next 20 minutes lying like that, talking about Aunt Caitlin.

In the afternoon, Caitlin arrived. She was 35, had shoulder-length blonde hair, blue eyes, and was 5’7”.

“How are you, Brenda? It’s so good to see you,” she said as she hugged Mom.