Chapter 5: Moira

"Well, Moira?"

It was a pregnant question, that's for sure. I looked around the table. Gary had asked it, of course. Kate had her usual sourpuss face – she's always worried about things. Joanne was there too, and Henri, though I had no idea why he was with us. Last of all was Jake. He'd understand all of this the best of any of them.

I'd only had two days with her so far, since she'd woken up in my arms. Thank God she was talking. If she'd closed me out, I wouldn't be able to help her at all, I don't think. But it was still very early to say anything. I swallowed before beginning. This was going to be difficult.

"Gary – Saralinda tried to commit suicide, up there on that bridge, and earlier, with the pills. Now the first thing you need to realize is that most people who try to kill themselves are suffering from depression first. That is, depression is the cause. There may be triggering events, but depression is usually a prerequisite. From what I can gather, she's suffered from moderate depression for about the last ten years.

In this case, though, the triggering events are pretty severe, whereas I don't think the depression is. I think the decision was an act of desperation rather than being a death compulsion.

"About those triggers – Gosh, I don't want to say too much. I've been acting kind of like her therapist, you know? I don't feel right telling you things she's told me in confidence. But it's bad. Real bad. Her mother disappeared when she was thirteen. Saralinda has no idea if she's alive or dead, but she feels abandoned by the only person who ever loved her. Her father and stepmother have been abusive and controlling. And there's been violence. Sexual violence, even. Things came to a head the night you found her, but I haven't really gotten her to say all what happened that day.

"She should almost certainly be on antidepressants. I'd have some idea of the nature of her depression by observing how she does on meds. As for the rest, well, it's still way too early to say. I think getting her out of her situation has taken away the danger of suicide, but these things can be unpredictable. She's still very fragile. And this whole rescue thing is still unreal to her. I mean, she was trapped – and I mean that pretty literally – in a Hell of a situation. Gary, at the height of her despair, you snatched her from the one kind of escape that she was able to think of. In its place, you've presented her with an unimaginable, ungraspable, way out. She's in limbo right now – she can't process what's happening."

Having run out of words for the moment, I stopped talking and looked up at Gary. His expression was serious, as he thought about what I'd said.

He started to speak, then stopped himself and shook his head, considering further. But when he looked around the table, he saw all the faces looking to him. Gary always seems pretty good at knowing what to do. I watched his face, waiting. But when he spoke, he seemed a bit uncertain, which is unlike him.

"Moira – I wish I could give you more time, but we've got to figure out how to deal with this in the next couple of days. There are some issues – stuff that I really don't want to bother you with, nor Saralinda. But I need your input, and maybe hers as well. And it's all kind of delicate."

With that, he handed me a printout of an article from the Seattle Times that he'd gotten off the web. "Police Search River for Missing Woman". The article was short, and said little, but it was enough to piece together what had happened. A neighbor had seen Saralinda standing on the bridge rail. He'd gone to call the police, and when he got back to the window, Saralinda was gone. The cops weren't that interested, thinking the man was imagining things. So, giving up on the cops, he'd walked out to the bridge herself, and had found Saralinda's coat and wallet. That got the police's attention. They'd gone to her address, where Saralinda's father reported that she seemed to be missing. So the cops were treating it as a missing person case and a possible suicide. They'd sent divers down to look for a body.