Epilogue - Saralinda

It was raining – no surprise there. Seattle rain. The drops on my face reminded me of the other time. I wondered if the same neighbor would be watching, and if he'd call the cops again. I hoped not, since what we were doing probably wasn't exactly legal, according to Jake.

Two years — hard to believe that much time could go by so quickly. Hard to believe it took two years to do this, too, but I wanted everyone here with me, and that meant it didn't happen right away. I wanted my whole family here, and my family is a lot bigger than I expected.

I reached down and stroked my belly. I was a lot bigger than I expected. I looked over at Jake just as he looked over at me; it was like he could read my mind. We shared our special smile, but I also felt a bit sad. Our little girl would never know her grandmother. Mamma. Damn, I was not going to cry.

So there I was, at the railing of the Brick St. Bridge, on a dark and rainy night. Only this time, it wasn't Gary who was grabbing me. Instead, my ringmate Jake was on one side of me, giving me his unconditional support as always. On the other side, my other ringmate Moira was using me for a bit of support, for she was way more pregnant than me. Gary would keep her upright, I knew. He was there too, of course, and with him was Kate, though her baby boy was back at the house with Burt, Joanne and their twins.

The surprise was that Jake and Moira had managed to convince Dr. Anna to visit from Maui, so I had my obaachan with me, which filled me with as much happiness as I'd had despair the time before. Unfortunately, my "sister", Malia, was doing field research, so she was only with us in spirit.

And then there was Mamma, or at least her ashes.

I looked around at my family and friends and tried to think of something to say.

"I was reborn on the Brick Street Bridge in Gary's caring arms. I've found boundless love with Gary, and with my two ringmates Moira and Jake. I've gotten a sister, Malia; an aunt, Kate; and an awesome obaachan, Anna. My second life has been so amazingly wonderful, and seems to get better every day. And I thank every one of you so much for everything you've done for me.

"In my first life, though, I had only Mamma. But she was as good a mother as a girl could wish for. She tried so hard, and I loved her so much." The tears really began then.

"Tonight, I'm not, like, trying to say a final goodbye to Mamma. I'm just trying to let her finally get away and be free forever."

I couldn't say any more, because I was trying not to sob. So I turned to the railing, and carefully removed the lid of the urn. Mamma. I slowly turned the urn upside-down, and her ashes drifted down to the stream below; a stream that would flow into Elliot Bay, and from there through Puget Sound and the Strait of Juan de Fuca, to the Pacific Ocean. I hoped she'd like the sea as much as I did. As the ashes fell, I felt my family gather around my sides and my backs, all of them touching me and hugging me as my tears fell. And it seemed as though I could hear Mamma singing to me.

Hushalinda, Saralinda, Don't you cry
You're gonna turn into a butterfly
Pretty, oh so pretty that it makes me sigh
Hushalinda, Saralinda, Butterfly