Chapter 11: Moira

It was two in the afternoon when I got back to my room. I'd been on lunch duty, both preparation and clean-up. I was surprised that Saralinda wasn't in the room, and it left me wondering what to do with myself. I wasn't sure what I felt like doing.

It was a nice day, of course. I could go to the pool. Or I could get out my guitar. Or I could go see what Jake was up to, or Gary, or Joanne. I didn't mind my aimless life, but there were times when it made me feel somewhat superfluous in the universe.

I was startled from my musings by the door opening. It was Saralinda. She'd been at the pool from the look of her.

"Oh, hi Moira, you're back."

"Yup – done with my chores for the day. Did you enjoy the pool?"

"It's great. And Jake showed me how to do the pool cleanup. Looks like I'm going to be helping out around here soon."

"Yes, and tomorrow's cleaning day, remember? If Kate doesn't have you down on the list, you'll have to help me and Joanne."

I'd said it in a mock-strict voice, jokingly. But I saw Saralinda freeze up for a second.

"Sorry," I said quietly.

She shook her head. "It's okay, it's just that you reminded me of her, just for a second. But I know you're not like that." We stood, across the room from each other, in silence.

"I'm sorry about this morning," she said in a small voice. I looked at her questioningly. "I'm sorry I was acting so ... so needy. And so greedy. I..." and her voice trailed off.

I crossed the room and stood next to her, within reach. Her eyes dropped to the ground. She was so vulnerable it made me ache. I took my hand and gently lifted her chin up so I could see her face. She looked embarrassed and uncomfortable. I held my arms out to her and she rushed into my embrace. I held her, feeling the soft skin of her back under my hands. She felt small, but after she took a deep, calming breath, she felt stronger than she had at first. She was shorter than I, and her forehead pressed against my lips.

I suddenly had some very un-motherly, un-sisterly feelings towards her – definitely feelings inappropriate for a therapist. These feelings confused me. I'd never felt anything like that towards another woman before. Well, that's a lie. But never so strongly.

It made me pull back a bit, and when I did, she looked up at me questioningly. Her face was framed by dark curls. Her eyes were so brown and deep like holes; so completely opposite from Gary's startling pale blue ones, I thought irrelevantly. Her little nose. Her lips, with the tip of her tongue just visible between them. I looked down to her lovely neck and to her breasts, which didn't quite fill the cups in the bra of the bikini I'd lent her. My eyes drifted back to hers, and I fell in.

Our lips touched, not tentatively, nor fiercely. Comfortable investigation. Desire, but not desperation. I could not help myself.

Before long, we were sprawled on the bed, Saralinda mostly on top of me, We kissed, and she wasn't shy with her tongue, nor me with mine. My hands roamed her back, but they kept hitting the straps of the bikini bra.

"Take it off, please," she begged. I wasted no time. At some point soon after, my blouse came off too. She nursed on my nipples, her hands in my hair. She kissed my neck. My mouth found her breasts, much smaller than mine, and perkier. She liked mine, I liked hers.

We were kissing again, my hands caressing her back, hers on my breasts, when she pulled back a bit, with a bit of uncertainty showing on her face.

"I'd like, um, to do more, but I'm not sure what to do. I've never..."

"It's okay, Honey. I've never either... , not with a woman." That wasn't entirely true; I'd been in threesomes before, but we girls had always stayed mostly focused on Gary. "But I've had a bit more experience. If we roll over, I can show you some ... more."

I took my time, savoring her whole body from her forehead down to her navel. It was as I was kissing her there that she spoke.

"I, um, you know, I played with myself this morning, after you went to breakfast. I tried to be mad at you and Gary. But all I could think about was the two of you together, loving each other. And then I imagined I was there with you and with him, and I, um..." Her voice broke off, and she didn't continue.