Please note that I am a British woman, and I write in British English and vernacular, so for me a fanny is the correct term for female genitalia, a pussy is a pet cat, and the ass is a bum or arse.

My sister Mica has come to stay with us. It seems her husband Paul was playing hide the sausage with their neighbour, and the neighbour’s husband caught them when he came home early. So, Mica has come to stay with Jackie and me whilst she figures out what is what. Jackie and Mica get on quite well, and so it was apparently Jackie’s idea that she came to stay; the first I knew was when Jackie asked me to go over and pick Mica up.

“He is a prat,” Mica said as we were driving back, the back of my car and the boot filled with suitcases and bags containing her ‘stuff’. “Why do men cheat?” She asked.

“Sometimes it is because the wife isn’t giving out,” I answered. I mean, we mean, we have a million reasons for cheating. Men cheat, but so do women.

“What the fuck do you mean isn’t giving out?” Mica asked, venom in her voice.

“Oh, you know, not having sex often enough, or just doing boring lay-there sex, not being adventurous or varied enough.”

“Oh, and how is a woman supposed to know what enough is?”

“Honestly? I think probably once a day is the starting point, but often twice, you know, in the morning when you wake up, and then again before bed in the evening, and then of course there is the afternoon time at weekends.”

“You are fucking joking?” She gasped.

I smiled, of course I was joking, but sex on most days of the week is normal. I shrugged and carried on driving.

“And what do you mean varied enough?”

“Well, crikey, hand job, blow job, anal, doggie, cowgirl, just not lying on your back with your legs open. Look, my guess is that this neighbour of yours must have done something that you don’t for him to risk it.”

“I did not do anal, and why men want that is beyond me.”

“Why didn’t you do anal?”

“Disgusting.”

“I bet your neighbour did. Look, I am not criticising; it could be that she simply came on to him because she wasn’t getting enough herself. I don’t know; I am not either of them, and I don’t know what they did.”

“Have you cheated ever, I mean, not just with Jackie?”

“Well, I went with Jackie whilst I was still with Pauline, so I guess that technically was cheating.”

“Why did you do that, cheat on Pauline, I mean?”

“Well, it was simply that I fancied Jackie more; Pauline was okay, we had fun, but when I met Jackie I realised I wanted more, and I sort of started with Jackie before I had quite finished with Pauline.”

“So, you were shagging them both in the same time period?”

“Yes.”

“And since, have you cheated on Jackie?”

“Why would I do that?”

“That is not answering the question.”

“Don’t be daft; even if I had, I wouldn’t admit it now, would I?”

“You might, to me, I am all vulnerable and stuff at the moment.”

“Mica, there is one thing that you are not, and that is vulnerable. You are one of the strongest women that I know.”

And she is, I mean, I was surprised that she moved out rather than kicking her husband Paul out. Perhaps she was bored with him, and this had turned up as an ideal excuse, I didn’t know. To be honest, I didn’t really care enough.

Back home I helped Mica carry her stuff up to the guest bedroom and left her to it. I went back down into the office and got back to work; there were some financial calculations I needed to build a spreadsheet around for one of my clients. Mica could potter around and do what she liked, but I did tell Jackie that I couldn’t let Mica get in the way of my, of our, life.

By that I meant that I didn’t want Jackie saying, ‘No, we can’t not with your sister here.’ Yes, we could; we would shag as often as we did before Mica came to stay, and I wasn’t going to be Mica’s taxi. There were buses at the end of the street, and there was always Uber. Mica had a room; she could eat with us in the evenings or not, her choice; she could sit and watch what we watched on TV or not, she could get her life together or not, but she wasn’t going to mess up ours.

“Don’t,” Jackie said after we had sat in the lounge all evening half watching TV, half listening to Mica and how Paul was a prat, “I am not in the mood; Mica has killed that.”

“And what if I am in the mood?”

“Have a wank, I am going to sleep. Be quick and don’t disturb me.”

“I told you that she mustn’t affect our lives.”

“She is your sister; you can wait a day for God’s sake.”

As it happened, I wasn’t in the mood either, but Jackie didn’t need to know that; it wouldn’t hurt her to be under the impression that she owed me one. It would have been good to let Mica hear us and let her know that our life was still carrying on normally. Oh well. I didn’t wank; I just spent longer in the bathroom than usual as if I were having one.

“Better?” Jackie asked as I got back in the bedroom, my dick sporting a supporting semi.

“Yes, thank you,” I said as I got into bed.

The next morning Mica went off with Jackie. I didn’t know if Mica had time off from work; I didn’t really want to get too involved. She was simply my sister; I wasn’t our parent, nor was I her keeper. What Mica did was up to Mica.

I had a couple of hours before my first Zoom meeting and decided I would have a shave and a shower. In the bathroom I stood before the sink and spread shaving gel around my crotch. It had been a few days since I had given the place a trim, and it was beginning to get spiky. I used an electric razor for my face, but for some reason it didn’t work well down there; only a wet shave came close.

I ran the hot water tap and began, stroking the razor in each direction, down and then up, left and then right. My dick co-operated and grew to full hardness, enabling me to remove the few hairs that grew on my shaft. My balls I had to do very carefully; I nearly always managed to nick them no matter how careful I was; it was as if the skin was paper-thin.

Fully done, I used a flannel to wipe the residue away before I finished cleaning in the shower. As I moved my head, I caught sight of Mica on the landing; she was standing watching. I mentally shrugged. So what? Probably all she could see was my bum, and anyway, I didn’t care if she saw more; she was my sister, not a lover. She must have come back early after leaving Jackie.

Ignoring Mica, I turned to the shower and started the hot water and stepped under, washing myself perhaps more thoroughly than usual. Everywhere got soaped and rinsed twice; I didn’t mind the audience; perhaps I was a bit of an exhibitionist at heart.

I got out of the shower, rinsed the shower walls down, turned the water off and stood in the bathroom drying myself, my dick waving around as I sawed the towel across my back. I wondered if my sister had stayed around to watch me shower or if she had decided that she had seen enough. I didn’t really care, and acting as if I was alone in the house, I left the bathroom and walked naked to my bedroom, leaving my bedroom door open as I dressed.