Chapter 4

Mary met me at the door and fell into my arms crying. I hugged her and held her as tightly as I could. Finally she uttered one word, "Coffee." She had evidently poured it when she heard my car pull into the driveway, for it was setting on the table steaming.

We sat across from each other knowing we had to speak, but neither knowing where to start. I said, "I understand that you're pregnant. How do you feel about that?"

"Dirk, I feel bad--terrible in fact. Terrible because it's not yours. One minute I hate what's inside of me and the next I feel like I always do when I'm pregnant. I am always amazed that this thing can happen to a woman. You know, first I am one person and then I'm two. I would be so happy if it were ours. It's not though, it's mine and God only knows who the father is. I am so worried about you asking me to leave. I sure have messed up our life." Mary burst into tears again.

I ignored the tears and asked, "What are you going to do about the baby? Do you want to abort it, or do you want to keep it? To be honest with you, I don't even know what I want you to do so I'm not going to be any help in deciding. I'll listen to what you decide and then we'll go on from there, I guess."

Mary sat there staring at me. I knew then that she didn't want to abort the fetus. She wanted so bad to tell me this, but she figured that I would kick her out because that product of rape and passion meant more to her than I did. "Mary, I know all about what happened. That's what makes it so hard for me to tell you what to do. I know the minute you gave into Bob and the rest of them. I know what happened when they reached the point with you when you didn't want them to stop."

"You can't know that."

"Mary would you go freshen up a bit. Come back to the living room when I tell you." She went down to our bathroom without saying anything. I went to my briefcase and got out the disk. I went down into the basement where my computer equipment was. I loaded the disk and cued in to the section where Bob had Mary lower her top down and was running his hands up her legs. I transferred the feed to the monitor upstairs and called Mary as I sat on the couch.

Mary came back puzzled, as I patted the seat next to me. When she sat I flipped the switch on and said, "Watch."

The action was all there in its pornographic detail. I thought I could watch this again, but two minutes into Mary performing for these guys was more than I could take. I said, "Keep watching and you will see that I've seen it all. When I put the security lights on, I have a camera set up to record what is going on in the house." I went out into the kitchen where I could hear it, but wouldn't have to see it.

When I heard Bob threaten Mary as he was leaving, I came back in and clicked the feed off. Mary was sitting with tears rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't look at me and I don't think I wanted to look at her either. I gave her a little hope when I reached over and held her hand. Then she turned her face into my shoulder and started sobbing. "Dirk, you must hate me!"

"Okay Mary, say I do hate you? What am I going to do with you? We have two kids. How am I going to treat you so they don't hate me at some point? I'm going to tell you something and I want you to hear me out before you say anything at all."

I collected my thoughts before continuing. "Paul has made out divorce papers and I was going to tell you about them when I got off from work tonight. The papers, themselves, were going to be served Tuesday morning when the city resumed work after the holiday. Now I think I have moved too fast and I'm going to ask Paul to hold off on having them served. You can thank Max for that.

"You sit here and let me go down and set up another section that I have on tape. This is something different than what you just saw and you might not even remember some of it." I rushed down and started the disk at the beginning where Mary was being half carried into the house.

I went up and started it. We watched it, skipping the part of Mary acting the slut. This I fast forwarded to where Mary was spent and laying on the floor. I started it there again and we watched it with Mary lying hopelessly on the bed that same night. Suddenly it switched to where Bob and his cohorts pushed into the house two weeks later. It showed them starting to hassle Mary until the cop knocked on the door. I let it play through my phone call before shutting the monitor off.

"Max pointed out to me that if the sex scenes were removed from the disk, this would show rape of the most graphic nature. Not only that it showed these men coming back and trying to repeat the rape. If the authorities ever saw this disk and you made a complaint, they would be in prison so fast their heads would spin. But other things have bothered me. Sure, we would be even for the rape, but their families would pay dearly and horribly for their crime.

"Maybe those guys all have a tendency toward rape, but maybe they saw a woman that was teasing them to do just what they did. You definitely are the victim here, but so am I. I counted thirteen kids that are victims. Max pointed out that there was the one growing inside you and that one should be counted too. Please help me decide what we are to do.