Who Is the Chump? an Essay

by Sir Semega

Copyright© 2010 by Sir Semega

: Just a short, probably heavy handed essay on giving love to a partner that doesn't give it back.

Tags: Ma/Fa  

Just a short essay on the situation we read about so often about the cheating spouse that laughs as they put one over on their partner. Who do they really hurt in the long run?

Who is the chump?

The one who loves fully, or the one who pretends, lies and cheats behind the other's back?

Always searching for something they already have, if they only opened their hearts and minds. It takes courage to open yourself up, to be so vulnerable, while the closed, protected shield cools the heart, keeping the stoked flames from catching and igniting the all inclusive passion of body and soul.

There is the fear that one day, you can come home and find out that your life was a lie, a shambles of deceit perpetrated by your partner, the one person in life that you trusted, who in turn has dashed your hopes and assumptions, who mocks you with their actions, and reveals the mask of a stranger you have shared your life with.

Who is the fool then?

The surprised supposed victim, or the devious, nefarious liar? Have you as the giver of your heart and trust all this time together really lived a less full life compared to the partner that has died each day a death of cowardice and lies? They rest their heads next to a person they haven't the guts to be honest with? Is ignorance truly bliss? Is pride that comes before the fall bitterer?

We live this one life only once. Perhaps at the end of our mortal veil, once removed, we disappear out of existence forever. One chance only to "be" the person we could be. Forget heaven and hell, forget reincarnation, forget karma, your awareness is this one life, nothing more, what happened before is forgotten, what happens after is anyone's guess, for now you choose how you life this life, no one else gets to do that unless you give that choice away.

You enter the partnership with lust, perhaps blooming into love and trust and you give that love and trust to someone you have chosen to bestow this upon. They are seen as "worthy". If they fail you, then who is to blame?

If they agree to love and trust you back, tell you this and then do the opposite behind your back, are you any lesser? What is in your control? You and you only. This isn't blindly trusting someone, but an agreement has occurred and with that agreement, trust is given until that trust is revoked by you. You try hard to hold up your trust and love, thinking that the other is trying just as hard.

The years go by and part of the agreement should be that you two communicate and work to staying close and intimate. Nothing stays the same and relationships are very much an evolving, living organism that needs care and feeding, for neglect withers it and kills it.

Looking back in your past together, after the trust has been shattered, you feel the fool, the blind soothsayer that couldn't read the bird's entrails properly, to see the signs of dishonesty, of lack of respect, of cowardice, but I ask you, are you the fool?

Certainly the fool is the coward not living the life they should be living.

The coward that recognizes that they have chosen wrong, and must end it.

The person who "has their cake and eats it too".

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