Chapter 9

Damn! It was like my father threw a switch when he said that. My mind started going in a million directions at once.

There must been some indication of what was happening to me because as soon as things started whirling around, I could feel Bev taking my hand. I squeezed back, unable to say anything coherent as I sat at the table with my mind going a mile a minute.

The first thoughts were how I'd fucked up. I'd failed Dad in not curing him, I'd neglected to think of all the possibilities before I put my plan for healing him together. I was always thinking from all the angles before I made a wish and I didn't even think to destroy the cells I'd had retreat from the far areas of the original cancer. In fact, I wished it just that way — that the stuff that had expanded into the intestines and esophagus would retreat. I should have had them die off or turn into cells that would search out more cancer cells and turn them into cells that would search out more cancer and on and on and on.

Then I looked at making what I'd done wrong right. I could still do it. But what if it was too late like he said. He said it wasn't working. Was my ego so big that I was willing to put his life on the line to prove I could do this? The doctor gave him three to six weeks. Could I turn things around that quickly? Let's say I got rid of all the cancer in a couple of weeks. What shape would he be in by then? All skin and bones, hardly able to move? And what if I missed some little point this time and gave the cancer another way to survive. Up till now, I'd never actually attacked someone or something with my powers. I didn't go after Houston or his buddies, I provided a cell phone for my sister, just what she wanted at the time. Yeah, I told the guys to turn themselves in, but it was actually the best thing for them or they wouldn't have done it. Guilt and remorse can be pretty deadly, especially if they're allowed to fester and more things to be guilty about are piled on top of them. Why do you think people line up in church to tell some guy what they've done that they feel bad about? The one guy who didn't feel either guilt or remorse, the one who wasn't wired for it, Houston, didn't go along with the wish. And I was glad there was another way to get him. Because, that was the important thing — to get him.

Why would I fight taking my father back to the place that saved my life? Was it a sign of failure for me to admit that this adversary was tougher than I was? Or I wasn't smart enough or good enough or experienced enough to come up with something that would take every possible action of something determined to survive and destroy into account in my attack? Show me a general who can figure out every possible thing the opposing general could think of in a war and I'll show you a god. I'd already admitted I knew I wasn't God and was just in the learning stage. Maybe I wasn't good enough to stop the cancer. Was I so conceited I thought I could handle anything? Could I stop a plane from crashing or a bomb from going off or a volcano from erupting? I don't think so. Not today and maybe never.

Was I afraid taking him to the cave and letting him drink the water was going to give him powers in addition to making him well? No, I knew deep in my gut that if he was given something, he would be given something he could use for good, just as I had. Something he'd be able to control and handle that wouldn't take over him. Which made me realize that being able to wish things so might be what I needed at the time and might not be for him.

What if the cave wasn't there? Or the water only worked on me, or only worked on me at that particular time? So what? What would we lose? Right now they were talking three weeks. Not even guaranteeing that much. God, what if he died in his sleep a week from now? I would always wonder what would have happened if I'd done what he asked. Mom would try not to, but she'd blame me. Not for his death, but for not prolonging his life. I'd have kept him from trying the one thing that might have saved him. Then I thought about that old lady in the hospital. Could I handle my father looking at me like she did, begging me to end his life? Would I be able to assist him in his wish as I did with her?

I looked up to see Bev, Mom and Dad all sitting at the table, looking at me, waiting for me to join them. I could sense anticipation and not a little nervousness in the room.

Bev's hand was still holding mine. I squeezed it. "So, are you ready to take a hike in the woods?" I looked at her.

"Me?"

"Certainly you. I've got an idea if we go to that cave, we're going to need all the help we can get."

"What are you going to do about Vicky?" Mom asked me.

"I don't know. I don't want to take her with us. I..."

"I know you don't and I don't blame you. But you know if the three of you take off, whether you tell her or not where you went and why, she's going to have a tough time with Kyle. It's bad enough already and this is just going to make it worse."

"I noticed the way he was looking at me at the hospital. I can see he's aware there's something unique about me and he's definitely curious. Do you think she's going to let him know?"

"What do you think? She's got her first real boyfriend, a real hunk. It's obvious they're a lot more than just friends. What do you think she'll do if he starts badgering her? She'll crack quicker than a dropped egg."

"OK, I admit we have a potential problem. What can I do about it?"

All three answered at once. Bev said, "Zap her," Mom came up with "Shut her up," while Dad's contribution was "Make it so she can't tell him anything about it."

"But that's like taking her free will away from her."

"And you didn't do that with my brother?" Bev answered.

"Well, your brother deserved it. He'd done something wrong and was going to continue if I didn't stop him."

"Well, Vicky's all set to do something wrong, too. How is it going to make things if she does tell him? The least that will happen is he'll want the same thing. Whether he does or not, it's going to be all over school, then all over the state before you know it. Are you willing to have the guys in the black suits or the ones in the white smocks come banging on the door so Vicky can have the right to screw up your life when he gets her hormones boiling and threatens to break it off it she won't tell him?"

"He wouldn't do that."

Bev and Mom both snorted. Dad just said, "He is a guy, you know."

"Well, I need to really think about it. I'd hate to mess it up."

"Don't take too long," Mom said. "You know how your sister is when she has a secret. She has to tell somebody. She can't tell Bev because she already knows. He knows something's up. I could tell when you stopped talking and I told them to take a walk at the hospital. He's going to go after her about it and she's going to be ready to give it up."

"If you're worried about screwing up because of what happened to me, it's two completely different things," Dad said. "Just wish that she can't tell him anything about your powers. Don't get complicated about it."

"Can't tell Anyone," said Bev. "If anyone needs to know, you can tell them."

"What if it's an emergency and I can't tell someone?"

"Val, think about it. Can you honestly think of one scenario where you'd want your sister to tell someone else about your powers? And don't you dare tell me that you can have a talk with her and she'll keep quiet on her own. She's itching to tell somebody and it would just drive her crazy. If you make the wish, she'll never know."

"OK, Mom. If you say so. I wish that Vicky is never able to tell anybody anything about my powers or the cave."

I felt that little wrongness and more. I felt peace of mind. I hadn't realized how concerned I'd been about her.

Bev sighed theatrically. "Thanks, Val. Now I can sleep at night."

Mom and Dad just sat there holding each others hands and smiled at me.

"I think we need to do this as soon as possible. Are you going to be up for a hike in the woods, Dad? It took me a half day to get to the truck stop but I was really hoofing it. I'm sure we can drive in closer and cut that distance, but you're a lot weaker than I was. Hell, I think I ran half the way."

"I'm sure I'll be all right. I don't think I'll be able to carry anything. I assume we might have to spend some time there. Look at how long you were there, Val."

"That's why I'm bringing Bev along. I figured she could carry the heavy stuff." That earned me a punch on the shoulder. "We've got plenty of backpacking meals. I think we've got a bunch of four person meals that just take hot water. We just need to make a fire, heat up some water and we'll be set."

"Val, how far is the closest water from the cave?"

"There's water inside the cave."

"I'm looking at washing clothes and dishes. You might use the cave water to make food or drink, but looking at what it did to you with a few mouthfuls, we could overdose on it. Look at what it did to that sheepskin."