I have to be honest; I was feeling a little glum. Mik was in his room playing Xbox. I just thought he should be out looking for a job; I couldn’t afford to keep him forever, not on my pension.

Mik’s Dad had passed a few years ago in an accident at work. I received life insurance that paid off the mortgage and left a nice sum in the bank for emergencies, and I get a widow’s pension from his employer, which helps with day-to-day expenses.

What I had now were lonely nights and a teenage boy that was still angry because he had lost his dad. He didn’t seem grateful that he had kept his mum. It did depress me a bit. I hadn’t had company since Paul passed; I hardly went out of the house, and I rarely spoke to anyone; even the supermarket checkouts were automated.

“Oh Mik, what am I going to do with you? You have to earn a living; you have to get money of your own.” We were sat at the table after eating dinner. I insisted that meals be taken at the table. Not in his room, not on the sofa in front of the TV, no, at the table.

“Why?”

“Mik, what do you mean, ‘Why?’”

“Why do I have to earn money? I don’t need much; you provide food and the house. Well, actually, the money from Dad’s death pays for all that, so why do I need money?”

“Because you might want to go out, meet people, girls, I don’t know, and then your own money means that you can do what you like.”

“I don’t want to meet people, and I already do what I like.”

It was like talking to a brick wall. How had I managed to turn him into this, this whatever he had become?

“I’m going to my room.”

And with that he was gone. There was no thank you for the food. There was no offer to clear up, no attempt at a conversation, nothing. I was at the end of my tether – well, perhaps not, but I was pretty close.

In a moment of desperation, I had joined a local gym. It was on a bit of a whim, but I decided I needed to just get out and do something rather than mope about at home.

“Mik,” I called.

“What?” came back. So rude.

“I am going to the gym in an hour. Do you want to come? I can take you as a guest, and if you like, I can join you too.”

“Kay. I’ll get dressed and come down.”

That surprised me; I expected him to stay glued to his games. Okay, that’ll be good. I went up to my room and stripped. What to wear for best. Knickers, with VPL? No, I would just wear leggings and then a leotard and my trainers. I looked in the mirror. Good, my reflection told me I would be able to get away without a bra. I went back down to wait for Mik.

He came down in a T-shirt, shorts and his trainers. He looked across at me.

“Bloody hell, Mum.”

“Bloody hell, what, Mik?”

“Oh, sorry that slipped out. Okay, I am ready, are you?

We went out; Mik sat in the car whilst I locked the house, and then we were off. It was about a ten-minute drive to the gym, and luckily it has its own parking area, so we were able to park up and go straight in. Mik went in first using my pass code, and then I followed. I put my bag in a locker, and we were ready.

“I am just going to do a few reps on everything, Mik; this is my first time, so I don’t really know what is what. I am not here to build muscles, so I won’t be going to the weights zone, just mostly on the machines. You can do what you like. I’ll come and find you when it’s time to go.”

“Okay, Mum, I may just sort of follow you around; I have no idea, and I would look stupid if I tried weights.”

“Okay, baby.”

I didn’t think he would look stupid; as I looked around, there was a real mix of oldies and youngers, some very muscled and some very flabby, and no one was looking at other people; they were just doing their own thing.

The first machine I came to targeted thighs. I sat on it and set it to a low resistance. What you did was press open the resistance bars to stretch your knees as far apart as you could. I found the low setting quite tough, and I thought, ‘Well, I will easily be able to tell if I am improving if I can increase the resistance in future.’

Mik went on a machine opposite me that did a similar thing but with your arms. I took a deep breath and started. Open my legs as wide as I could, count to ten, and then slowly close my legs, keeping the resistance on all the way. Phew, that was actually tougher than it looked. I looked across at Mik; he seemed to have his eyes focused on me as he stretched his arms open wide, his chest stretching out against his T-shirt, and then he relaxed. It looked as if he were finding it tough too.

I did another 9 reps on the machine, each time holding my legs wide apart for a count of ten. Oh my, they got tougher and tougher. Time for another machine.

“Swap” I called over to Mik. We swapped and I made sure the lettings were on the lowest. Similar to the leg machine, this one worked my arms and shoulders. Arms together inside the resistance bars, and then I pushed them as far open and back as I could; held for ten seconds; and then slowly closed.

Wow, that was also surprisingly tough. I looked across to see how Mik was doing; again, he seemed to be staring at me. As he held his legs wide open, I could not help but see his bulge. Good job his shorts weren’t tight like my leotard, I thought. ‘Good job I have nothing to bulge,’ I thought.

Another nine reps and my arms were pretty tired, so I thought I would work my legs again. There was another machine that was similar to the first, but opposite. On this one you started with your legs as wide as possible and then closed them. As I was setting the tensions, a woman walked up to me.

“Hi, not seen you here before.” She looked about the same age as me, perhaps a little younger. She was nicely toned, not muscled; I don’t like muscles on a woman, to be honest, they don’t do a lot for me on a man either.

“Oh, hello, no. It’s my first time. I brought my son as a bit of moral support.”

“I thought he probably was. How are you finding it?”

“Oh, it is so much tougher than I thought it would be. I have never been before, but goodness, I am struggling at the lowest settings.”

“Well, you will; most people only seem to use some of their muscles when they are in the gym. All the others get nicely toned just doing everyday stuff, like cleaning.”

“Believe me, my others get a good enough workout following after my son.”

“Ha ha, yes, I can believe it. Oh well, perhaps next time, if you are without your son, we can go and grab a coffee after and chat? I’m Sarah, by the way.”

“Oh, yes, that would be nice; I hardly seem to see anyone these days since my husband died. Yes, and I am Mica.”

“Nice name, Mica. Enjoy. Oh, here, I see you haven’t got any. Have this bottle of water. It is sealed so it’s safe, but you will dehydrate.”

Well, that was a nice thought. “Thank you, Sarah.”

She wandered off, and I was now recovered enough to try a different machine. There was a leg press to try. Basically you sit on it and push a board away with your legs. Again I set it to a low tension and pressed. This was tougher than it looked. I found I was holding on to the side handles as I pushed. It felt like more than just a leg workout.

“You know she’s a lesbian, right?” Mik said.

“What, who?”

“That woman that was chatting you up.”

“So, so what?”

“She just wants to get into your knickers.”

“And that is no concern of yours; no one else is trying, and anyway, what does it matter to you?”

“What about Dad’s memory?”

“Bloody hell, Mik, Paul is dead. I miss him terribly, but I can’t bring him back. I have to get on with my life, especially as my son doesn’t seem to care much about his or mine. Now, go away; you have upset me.”

He hadn’t really upset me, but I think he overstepped the mark, and since when did it matter what someone’s preferences were? It certainly didn’t bother me, and to be honest, I hadn’t even given it a thought that she may have been hitting on me. No one has done that for more years than I can remember; I wouldn’t recognise if she was carrying a banner saying ‘I am hitting on you.’

I worked my way around the gym for around half an hour, trying many different machines; some you pulled down from above, some you pushed, and some used your own body weight. All left me rather tired. I went and found Mik.