“Hey Ruby, it’s been a minute, how are you doing?”

“Hey Zoey, sorry to call you so early, but I really need a huge favour.”

“Awesome, I’m so bored at the moment, I can’t wait for the new year to start and we can meet all our friends again.”

“Yeah, I’m bored too, which is why I’ve got myself into a massive pickle. I need to speak to you about it, to either straighten me out, or help me go through with it.”

“This sounds serious...” Zoey replied quietly.

“It kind of is, Zoey...”

“Is it cocktail serious or coffee serious?”

This is why I loved Zoey, straight to the point.

“Cocktails I think...”

“I’m always up for cocktails, Bentley’s in half an hour?”

Zoey is my best friend at university. Bizarrely, even though we live in the same town, we didn’t meet until freshers week at university at the other end of the country. We’re on the same course, and were assigned to the same halls.

Apart from being the same height, we don’t look alike. I’m slim, with a great arse, a natural blonde with pale skin. Zoey has curves to die for, with the most fantastic boobs I’ve ever seen, she’s perma-tanned with wonderful auburn hair that she wears long, usually in a Lara Croft style Dutch braid.

She’s also gorgeous.

We struck up a friendship immediately, due to our mutual love for Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo and Billie Eilish. Zoey became my wing-woman during freshers week. Helping me pick up guys, and girls, and between us, we slept with practically everyone on our course, and almost all the girls on our floor in Halls.

Zoey likes her men muscular and girthy, I like nerdy types, and length over girth. We have similar tastes in girls, liking shy, introverted girls, who often turn wild in bed, usually sharing our female conquests if they’re willing.

We sometimes share our male conquests, although we’ve found Zoey’s type of guy often runs away when faced with two strong women.

Bentley’s is a wine bar on the prom, it has plenty of outdoor seating with a great view across the bay.

Zoey was already there, at a table with a great view, a jug of Pornstar Martini waiting.

“This is why I love you,” I gushed, kissing Zoey long enough for a guy on a nearby table to reach for his phone. I gave him the finger and “accidentally” knocked his glass into his lap as I walked past.

“Go girl!” Zoey laughed as I slid onto the bench beside her.

“If this place has one fault,” I said after taking a sip of my drink, “it’s that they use too much vanilla syrup.”

“Yeah, but it’s half-price cocktails today, so I think I can live with it.”

“I guess I can too ... Do they have pizza on today?”

“It’s Wednesday isn’t it... 6 weeks into the summer recess and I’ve lost track...”

“I think so...” I replied, pulling my phone from my handbag to check, “yes, it’s Wednesday all day.”

“So they have half-price sharing pizza as well.”

“Cool, I’ll order one with the next jug,” I replied, “yeah ... way too much vanilla,” I added after another sip, “but I’m sure I can learn to live with it.”

We hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks, so the first jug was spent catching up on gossip and general small talk.

“So, Ruby, what’s so important that you made me get dressed before noon?” Zoey asked as I returned with the second cocktail jug.

“You know my stepdad?”

“Dishy Damon?” she replied, “of course I know him ... has he tried it on with you or something?”

“Mmm...”

“He has!” Zoey cried, her eyes aglow with excitement.

“No ... he hasn’t ... ahh shit ... this is going to make me sound weird ... I was watching some porn online the other day.”

“That’s not weird...” Zoey replied, “ ... unless it was weird porn, like clowns or furries ... tell me it wasn’t clowns, those fuckers freak me out.”

“No, it wasn’t clowns,” I replied and Zoey relaxed, “it was stepdad porn.”

“Ahh...” Zoey replied, gripping my hand.

“And ever since, I’ve thought of little else but fucking Damon ... Mum is away on a course with work, so I’ve been walking around all week in my skimpiest clothes ... the clothes that never fail at university, but Damon barely gives me a second look ... it’s like he doesn’t even notice me.”

“So, what do you need me to do?”

“I need you to seduce my stepdad, then I’m going to catch you at it ... preferably before penetration happens ... but it’s not a problem if you do fuck him before I get home.”

“And you think he’ll fall for me, when he’s not interested in the supermodel that lives in the house?”

“Stop it, I’m not a supermodel...”

“Look, we proved it with that survey of the boys on the rugby team, they all put you in the same class as Rachel Pizzolato...”

“Yeah, but back to the real world, Damon will fall for you because you’re armed with the one weapon I’m lacking ... tits.”

Zoey looked down, smiling, “yes, I do have tits.”

“The best tits I’ve ever seen,” I replied, giving one a quick squeeze until I saw the guy reach for his phone again.

“Touch that phone and I’ll throw it in the sea,” Zoey warned him.

“You owe me a pint,” he groused.

“There was barely an eggcup of beer left in it,” I told him.

“Still, it looks like I’ve pissed myself.”

“I’m sure it’s not the first time,” I laughed, “anyway, it’ll teach you not to take photos of girls without asking first.”

“Would you have let me if I’d asked?” he replied, hopefully.

“Nope, but I wouldn’t have knocked your drink over.”

Further debate was halted by the arrival of our pizza.

I’d forgotten how big their sharing pizzas were, so I appeased the guy by offering him a slice. This made him happy, and he slipped his phone into his jacket pocket.

“So, you’re serious,” Zoey said through a mouthful of stone-baked wild mushroom pizza, “you really want me to seduce your dad?”

“Yes, it’ll be just like that time I wanted to fuck Steve, but he only had eyes for you...”

“Ahh, Steve ... I found him a little disappointing, well-equipped, but lacking skill.”

“Yeah, I felt the same ... almost the perfect cock, but no finesse, slammed it in a few times then that was it...”