Chapter 4

The housekeeper let me in and escorted me to the doctor’s den/office again. I thanked her and went into the outer office. Dawn smiled and said, “Right on time!”

For some reason I blushed. I guess I blush a lot. I replied, “I meant to be here early but time kind of got away from me.”

I’m apologizing for being on time!

She smiled as if she understood what I was talking about and knocked on the door to Dr. Carter’s office. She opened it without waiting for a response and held it open for me.

I thanked her and entered as the doctor got up and came around his desk to greet me.

We exchanged greetings and he asked me how I’m feeling. I told him I’m fine. Then I asked if I should be feeling anything after taking the pills he gave me.

He smiled and, as I’ve noticed he’s prone to do, he answered my question with one of his own. “Are you?”

He went to the refrigerator and poured me a glass of water without asking. He handed it to me and told me to take a few sips. Then he guided me away from his desk to an intimate little seating area in the corner of the room.

I drank nearly half the glass of water and then I started to take a seat. He stopped me. “Don’t sit down yet, Rebecca.”

He took the glass from me and placed it on a coaster on a nearby table. He sat down and made himself comfortable. He looked up at me and said, “Answer the question please.”

It took me a moment to remember the question. I blushed again, remembering the vague, hard to define changes in the way my mind seems to be functioning since I left here yesterday. There’s the constant tingling emanating from my crotch which is pleasant but distracting. And, of course, the embarrassing condition of my panties when I took them off last night. Then there’s the way my body reacted to the spray of the shower this morning! Yes, I’m definitely feeling something. But if I admit that to him he’ll want to know what I’m feeling. And if he asks, can I tell him all those embarrassing changes I’m going through?!

But I didn’t have to answer. He knows. I see it in his amused smile. Then, in his rich, soothing, hypnotic voice he asked, “Do you remember my warning to you yesterday? Do you remember I told you that you’ll be embarrassed, shocked, humiliated and offended?”

He didn’t give me time to answer. He pinned me in place with his steady gaze and said, “It starts today. Before you say another word I want you to remove your dress.”

There’s no question in my mind that my heart came to a complete stop at that moment. I know I can’t do what he asked. Since my preteen years I have never removed my dress in front of anyone. Not my parents or my husband, not Dr. Defoe, not even my OB-GYN, and my OB-GYN is a woman!

But even as I stared down at Dr. Carter in shock, knowing full well that I can’t do what he asked, my fingers are fumbling with the buttons holding my dress closed.

It seemed to take me a very long time to unbutton my dress, and not nearly long enough. I unbuttoned the last button and stood before him trying to catch my breath. I noticed that even over my rapidly beating heart and my shallow, raspy breathing I can still feel the effects of the drug he gave me. I feel the tingling. I feel the way my stiff nipples are pressing against the material of my bra. I swear I can feel my skin!

I don’t know about him, but I shocked the hell out of myself when I pulled my dress off and dropped it on a nearby chair. I’m still more than adequately covered by my slip and my underwear. But the idea that I just removed my dress in front of a man, a man I met for the first time yesterday, a man I know not at all, embarrasses me just as much as if I were now standing naked in front of him. He has certainly achieved his first two goals. I’m definitely embarrassed and shocked.

Dr. Carter smiled and despite my embarrassment I was moved by the enthusiasm in his voice when he said, “Very good, Rebecca! I’m proud of you! Now, while you remove your slip I want you to tell me about your reaction to the capsules I gave you.

“Keep in mind that it’s in your best interest to be brutally honest. We’re doing this because you need my help. You need to trust me. You need to believe that I know what I’m doing. Take a couple of sips of water. Calm down. Then you may begin.”

I turned and picked up the glass with shaking hands. I’m more convinced than ever that there’s more than water in my glass. I finished off the contents and quickly began to calm down. That isn’t to say I’m calm. But I’m at least calm enough to function.

The question is, can I make my body do what he wants me to do? Can I strip down to my underwear in front of a man for the first time since I was a toddler? The tingling which I attribute to that pill he gave me has intensified. My nipples feel like they’re going to explode, but in a good way if that isn’t as clear as mud. But most notable of all the symptoms, my entire vulva feels swollen and hypersensitive. I have no doubt the crotch of my panties is soaking wet once more.

I took several deep breaths and began to slowly ease the bottom of my slip up my thighs. He held his hand out to stop me and said, “That’s only half of the task I gave you to perform, Rebecca. Tell me how you think the medicine is affecting you.”

My voice trembled when I began to speak. But as I inched my slip up over my thighs I mumbled, “It makes my skin tingle.”

I slowly uncovered the crotch of my panties and my nude pantyhose and paused, not quite able to believe I was able to get even that far.

Dr. Carter cocked his eyebrow and prompted, “And...?”

I eased my slip up to my waist as slowly as possible. As I did I heard my trembling voice say, “My nipples became sensitive after the first dose. After the second pill they seem to stay hard almost all the time.”

He smiled and said, “Good! Excellent! Go on.”

“My underwear was soaking wet when I took it off last night. And I think that it must be again.”

He watched as my slip edged slowly up over my stomach before he prompted, “Go on.”

I didn’t know what else to say. After a brief pause he asked, “What excited you last night?”

Oh god! How can I explain?! How can I tell him I became excited watching my son and daughter out by the pool!

But I did! I heard the words come tumbling out of my mouth. My surprisingly detailed and highly erotic explanation continued long after I pulled my slip over my head and dropped it on my dress.

Dr. Carter indicated to me that he wants me to continue my narrative but I’m to remove my pantyhose while I talk. I was soon standing before him in only my bra and panties, describing in vivid detail what I saw and how I responded to watching my children massage suntan lotion into each other’s sexy young bodies.

He listened carefully. But his expression never changed. He nodded from time to time as if to let me know he’s listening. But his demeanor was always professional.

When I finished telling him about my kids and stopped speaking he nodded and asked, “This is the first time you have stood before a man in your underwear, isn’t it, Rebecca?”

I shuddered and nodded.

He smiled and said, “You’re making remarkable progress. You should be very proud. Now remove your bra and continue.”

I almost fell to my knees! No man has ever seen my breasts. Not my husband, not Dr. Defoe. No one but my female OB-GYN has ever seen them, and she only briefly.

He saw the turmoil I’m in. He got to his feet and refilled my water glass. He came back across the room and handed it to me. In his rich, somehow comforting, almost hypnotic voice he said, “Here, have some of this. It will help to calm you.”

I gulped down half the glass. The tingling of my skin seemed to increase but I didn’t notice any calming effect. I put the glass down and closed my eyes. Somehow I found the strength to reach behind my back and struggle with the clasp on my bra.

Dr. Carter spoke and his soothing voice actually seemed to help. He said, “You’re doing very well, Rebecca. You can do this. You want to do this. It’s important to you. You’re doing this to save your marriage. You’re doing this to be whole for the first time in your life. You’re a good person. You deserve that. Now open your eyes and take a deep breath. You’re going to remove your bra for me and when you do you will feel a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. You will feel more free than you have ever felt in your life.”

I didn’t believe that for a moment! But his soothing voice seemed to calm me. I finally managed to unfasten my bra and my arms fell to my side for a moment.

I looked into his eyes. I don’t know what I expected to see. Lust. A lascivious leer at my nearly naked body. Some stereotypical male reaction to a nearly naked woman.

Instead, he looked at me compassionately and exclaimed, “Very good, Rebecca!”

He looks very calm, very professional. That seemed to calm me and make what I’m doing slightly easier. I reached up and slowly pulled my bra off. I was watching his face. It didn’t look like his eyes ever left mine. He didn’t stare at my exposed breasts, he didn’t gasp. He didn’t even smile. And as strange as it seems I did feel a kind of freedom. Maybe not more free than ever before in my life. But a strange feeling of relief washed over me. I think I’m starting to think this man can actually help me. There may soon come a day when I can be the woman my husband deserves.

He gave me a moment to catch my breath. Then he said, “I know this is difficult for you. But you are progressing wonderfully. You should be very proud of yourself. Now, you know what comes next. You need to be brave. Do it, Rebecca.”

I can hear the blood pounding in my ears as I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my panties. I have no idea where I got the strength to do what he’s requiring of me. But somehow I found myself slowly sliding my underwear down over my hips and down my thighs.

I looked down as I did and saw my nipples sticking out farther than they ever have before. My breasts seem swollen. They’re so sensitive that when the flesh from my inner arms brushed against them I nearly gasped out loud.

I dropped my underwear to the floor and stepped out of them. I carefully bent down and picked them up. I can’t help but notice how wet the crotch is. It’s soaked all the way through! I would have blushed but I’m already blushing so hard I know I must be giving off a red glow.

I dropped my panties on the pile of clothing I’ve built near my feet and stood with my hands crossed demurely in front of me. Dr. Carter smiled and calmly ordered me to drop my hands to my sides.

I sighed in resignation and obeyed instantly. I’m standing naked in front of a man for the first time in my life and he doesn’t even seem to notice!

His soothing voice calmed me slightly when he said, “Very good, Rebecca. I’m so proud of you. You really are trying to get better. Now, where did you leave off?”

I’m confused by his question at first. I have nothing else to take off! But then I realized he’s referring to my reaction to the pill he gave me. He wants to hear more about what went through my mind last night.

It’s hard to think. I had to struggle to remember where I left off. I thought I was finished. He saw that I was at a loss and asked, “Did you dream last night?”

I actually moaned out loud. He knows!

I nodded almost imperceptibly. I’m so distracted by the prospect of sharing that embarrassing dream with him I almost forgot for a moment I’m standing before him naked.

I tried to clear my throat. I picked up the glass and gulped down the rest of the water. He waited patiently.

Before I told him about the dreams I admitted touching myself for the first time last night after Jeff went to sleep. I stressed that it was just for a couple of seconds. I didn’t masturbate. But I had felt something. The most incredible feeling had gripped my body for a second. It was so exciting it scared me.

My admission pleased him. He seemed excited. Not excited like a man lusting after a woman, though. He seems genuinely excited for me as if I accomplished some kind of breakthrough. I’m struck once more by how professional his demeanor is under these strange circumstances.

Then I told him about the dreams. They’re the same dreams I admitted to yesterday. The difference is that they’re fresh. Until the night before last I haven’t had those dreams in many, many years.

I’m thirteen again in the dreams. I saw myself entering my neighbor’s home just as I imagined it more than twenty years ago when I first experienced them. I vividly recalled the excitement I experienced as I imagined getting undressed for him and standing there naked, just like I’m doing now for Dr. Carter. I remember being prepared to do any embarrassing thing my neighbor ordered me to do.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I’m actually living that fantasy with Dr. Carter! Was that his intention? I thought at first that he was doing this to force me to be able to stand before a man while I’m naked. It didn’t occur to me that I’m living my fantasy until just this moment.

Where do we go from here, I wonder? This was as far as my fantasy ever went.

I became aware that Dr. Carter is watching me closely. It’s as if he’s reading my mind again. He waited until our eyes met. Then he said, “Tell me about this morning.”