Epilogue

I couldn't have fallen asleep that night if my life had depended on it, thinking how horribly wrong everything had gone.

The next day I gathered up all my books and study materials, and camped outside Kendall's dorm to wait for her, hoping she would eventually come out. I hadn't thought to bring anything to eat or drink, and I didn't want to leave my post to get anything. I was relieved when she emerged before I had to start begging passersby for food.

When she saw me hurriedly stuffing my books into my backpack, I could see her body tense up, her face briefly contemptuous. I hustled after her to fall in step beside her, though three or four feet away.

"Kendall, I'm so sorry about what happened last night," I began cautiously. She walked on stonily. "I had no idea those assholes were going to spy on you guys like that."

She looked at me briefly, her expression softening fractionally before she nodded.

"I didn't think you did."

"Oh thank God!" I exclaimed in relief.

"And I haven't forgotten that you warned me about dating Wes."

"Uh ... well ... I don't think Wes..."

My voice tailed of as her face hardened.

"I was his date, Randy. His date," she repeated pointedly. "He was responsible for me; for protecting me when he took me to that party. Was that too much for me to expect - that I would be safe from 'those assholes' as you call them, when I was with him?"

"No..."

"And he laughed at me. I was humiliated, and he was laughing at me!"

I started to say something in his defense, that he was completely bombed. That he wouldn't have done it if he was anywhere near sober. But she cut me off.

"And you," she said with a glare, but then she seemed to reconsider saying something. I probably should have let it go, but I had to ask.

"What?"

"Do you and Wes enjoy bragging to each other about who you screw?"

She snorted at my startled expression.

"That 'Oh baby oh baby' thing? You've said the exact same thing when you were with me, Randy. The ... exact ... same ... thing."

"It's ... I mean ... it's something that Wes says all the time when he's talking about girls," I stammered. "He says it so much, and I felt so lucky to be with you while knowing how bad he wanted you ... I don't know. It just popped out. So ... I'm sorry. I've never talked to Wes about sex with you."

She shrugged, and I was offended that whether I was telling the truth or not didn't seem to matter a lot to her.

"It's all part of it," she said dismissively.

"Part of what?"

"Part of the Greek system."

"What do you mean?"

"The whole thing is set up so little rich boys can chase little rich girls, and they can screw over anyone else for fun along the way and get away with it."

"I'm not a rich boy. You know that."

She looked at me shrewdly. "But Hayley is, isn't she?"

"Uhmm, I don't know..."

"And Wes, and Gerri, and Cynthia?"

"Yeah."

"Randy, you're part of something I've known about since I came to UT. The first time I walked past Greek row, the frat boys yelled the vilest things you can imagine at me. And nothing happened to them. No consequences.

"They can talk about my boobs in any lecture hall on campus, as much as they want. Even when you made them stop in that one class, you didn't think to do it until you talked to me. They'd been doing it for weeks before that."

"I'm sorry, Kendall, I should have..."

"I don't blame you Randy. And I don't want to talk about it, but I know it was Wes and Hayley that set me up, not you. But I learned a lesson yesterday. I will never... ever ... put myself in any position where I can be hurt by the Greeks again. Even you are dangerous to me."

She could see that upset me, and spoke quickly to head me off.

"You're dangerous because you're part of the Greek system, Randy. There are evil people there. And in the Greek system, there are no protections against those people. Because there are no consequences for anything they do. And the good people that are there can't protect someone like me from them."

I didn't know what to say to all that. My shoulders sagged against the heavy backpack. With no sleep and absorbing all the damning things she'd said, I felt like crap. I was surprised when she reached out to touch my shoulder.

"We can go to the same classes and maybe even study together, Randy — in the library. But that's it," she said with finality. Then her eyes blazed out at me. "And tell Wes to stay away from me. I never want to speak to him again. Make him know that. Understand?"

I nodded dumbly. "Okay."

And with that, she turned to walk her way, while I walked mine.

I could never prove that Hayley had assembled the crowd on the balcony over Kendall and Wes. But the chance that a group that large could spontaneously gather over them in complete silence was pretty unbelievable.

Eventually, I had to leave it to the Chi O's to decide, within the sorority, on what if anything to do about her involvement. Even Gerri wouldn't tell me what followed, saying it was sorority business.

But even if I could have proven it, it would have come too late to matter for Kendall. As she'd said, she learned her lesson and moved on. I was frankly grateful that she allowed me to be her friend, even if it was within strict boundaries.

And as much as I tried, I couldn't prevent the rumors about what happened that night from ultimately swirling around campus. I'm sure that only further cemented Kendall's hatred of all things to do with fraternities and sororities.

Gerri and I became a couple again after all that, and were together until I moved to Seattle to attend medical school at the University of Washington. The separation after being together so long was one of the most painful things I have ever had to go through.

But we knew there was no way a long distance relationship could have worked for years on end. She couldn't follow her career dreams anywhere else but in Nashville. I could have gone to UT med school, but UW is the best family practice school in the nation. Once accepted I eventually decided I simply couldn't turn it down.

Rather than wait for things to happen along the way to break us apart, we let each other go.

We stayed in touch, never 'losing track' of each other. We may have released our love, but our friendship was too deep to fade.

I knew she must have had boyfriends, though I never asked about it in any of my letters or rare phone calls. Her letters never touched on that subject at all, though I didn't shy away from mentioning the several girlfriends I went through. Med school is tough on its students, and tough on their girlfriends and boyfriends, too.

I subscribed to some entertainment industry magazines, so I could relate to her career and have stuff to write about. Not the tabloid kind, the kind about the business side of things. She knew I did that, and I think she enjoyed writing back about how things really worked.

It was in my last year of school, while I was thumbing through one of those magazines, that I got an unwelcome surprise.

A columnist had written a piece about an industry convention held in L.A., which was accompanied by a photo spread of the movers and shakers that attended. There wasn't exactly a red carpet, but there were still a lot of shots taken of people arriving.

And there was one of Gerri, holding the arm of a tall dark and handsome guy, smiling at the camera. The caption said it was her and her long time companion, Dr. McNabb.

Perhaps selfishly, I was upset. Gerri was always the rock that I could mentally cling to when another girlfriend broke up with me, tired of the boyfriend she never saw ... awake, anyway. Gerri was the girl I could always count on being there, somewhere in a fantasy future.

So, I stopped writing. I didn't intend it to be permanent, but I felt foolish for expecting her to be parked at the curb waiting for me. She was a flesh and blood woman, not a character in a play. Of course she wouldn't be alone all that time.