Chapter 5

I don't know how often you've had a sexual fantasy about a woman, or a COUPLE of women, masturbated to completion while engaged in those fantasies ... and THEN sat down to eat with them.

It had never happened to me, and I almost couldn't figure out how the heck to act. It showed too, because Lynne stared at me, frowning. She couldn't look at my lap, because I was sitting down by then, but I got the distinct impression she would have, if she could have.

Jill seemed completely unconcerned and wolfed down her grilled cheese sandwich as if she had places to go and people to meet. It turned out she wanted to go for a ride after lunch. While we were moving the hay, I had left early because of my boner, so we didn't get it all moved. Instead of blaming me for that, she just said she was going to get it done after lunch so she could go have some fun.

"That's fine, Dear," said Lynne.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Now that I'm sixteen, I can start going on dates ... right?"

Both Lynne and I stared at Jill. She had stopped inhaling the sandwich and was now nibbling at what was left. This was the first time a derivative of the word "date" had come out of her mouth, and it surprised both of us.

"I suppose so," said Lynne carefully. "Has a boy asked you out on a date?"

"No," she said. "Not since last year. Robbie Whitlock asked me out, but I told him I wasn't allowed to date and nobody's asked me since."

"Oh," said Lynne. "So are you going to ask Robby out now?"

"No," said Jill. "I don't want to go out with Robby. He's not my type."

"What is your type?" asked Lynne.

"I'm not sure," she said. "Except I know it's not Robby."

"Well before you go out on a date, we have to have a talk about ... things," said Lynne, in full mother mode now.

"I'm not going to have sex with anybody, Mom," said Jill, rolling her eyes.

"I know you're not," said Lynne firmly. "But you need to be aware that sometimes a boy will try things with you, and you need to know how to respond when that happens."

"Oh," said the girl. "Well ... OK then."

"You two can get the rest of the hay moved tomorrow. You can go for your ride after lunch. When you get back Bob and I will be ready to have that talk."

"Me?" I asked. I wished it wouldn't crack like that.

Lynne looked at her daughter. "Bob will help with a man's point of view," she said calmly.

Lynne asked me to help with the dishes when Jill got up to go saddle her horse. We stood side by side at the sink, with her washing and me rinsing and drying.

"You want to tell me about it?" she asked.

"Tell you about what?" I asked.

"About what was going on in your pants ... before lunch," she said calmly.

Busted! Damn! I tried to bluff.

"Oh that," I said, trying to sound like it didn't matter at all. "Happens sometimes. It's a guy thing."

"I know all about that kind of guy thing," she said. "I had a husband who loved showing me his when it got that way."

"Oh," I said, trying to get past this. "Well you don't have to worry about that. I won't try to show it to you."

"Thanks," she said, so dryly that I looked at her. "I don't know why this keeps coming up," she said. "I mean I know we've had this conversation before, but I've never seen you like THAT, Bob."

"It just kind of happened, and as soon as I realized it, I made an excuse and left so Jill wouldn't see it," I said.

"It just kind of happened," she said. She sounded unconvinced.

"OK look," I sighed. "We were moving hay and she started asking me questions. She's been watching Duke breed that stupid stray female. She wanted to know how often I had sex, and if men could do it as often as Duke does." I told her.

"You're kidding!" gasped Lynne.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" I shrugged. "When a pretty girl asks you how often you have sex ... well ... nature kind of kicks in."

"Was she teasing you?" asked Lynne.

"No, it was nothing like that. She was just curious, that's all. She sees things and she's trying to make sense of them. I think that's all it is."

"Well I don't want her being curious with boys on dates," said Lynne sternly.

"Well then tell her that," I said.

Now imagine being a man, in your forties, and suddenly being cast as the father figure to a sixteen-year-old girl you've already had fantasies about. And you're talking to her in partnership with her mother, who you've ALSO had fantasies about. You've had erections caused by both women.

Oh yes, and you're trying not to get another erection.

Actually, I did OK, but it was only because I was thinking about her being groped in the back seat of a car somewhere by somebody who was definitely not me. I didn't find that thought sexy at all.

Lynne was busy telling her that there would be all these feelings she hadn't felt yet, but WOULD feel, and they would happen without warning sometimes, and she'd be confused, at which point she'd be vulnerable to...

She turned to me. "Tell her, Bob."

"Guys will try to cop a feel," I said, rather bluntly. "Lots of feels," I added.

Lynne frowned at me. I think she expected something a little more academic. But she adapted and went with it.

"Yes," she said. "And sometimes when they touch you, it feels nice, but if you let them do that they'll try other things, and THOSE things feel nice too, and it can get out of control very quickly."

"So don't let them cop feels," said Jill, as if she were taking notes.

"Right," said her mother. "And keep kissing to a minimum. I wouldn't even let a boy kiss you at all until the third or fourth date."