Chapter 3

As soon as I sat up, dumping pine needles all around me, I felt the cold. First things first, though. I had to pee. I took stock of my body. The right leg felt tight where I'd pulled out the stick. I'd have to take it easy on that so I didn't open up the wound. My left foot felt dead. I mean, it wasn't numb, it wasn't the normal feeling of no feeling, it wasn't asleep, there was more nothingness there. I rolled over and crawled to the nearest tree. There was a stick on the ground that looked like it would work as a crutch. It even had a bend at the top so I could rest it under my shoulder. I used it and the trunk to get to my knees, then I watered the ground. It seemed to go on forever.

I stood up the rest of the way and hobbled out to where I'd laid out my clothes. The parka was still puffed up. Stupid thing probably wouldn't be dry until summer.

My two shirts were stiff. I put them on and felt some moisture but it was a lot better than standing there bare-ass naked. My jeans were a lot wetter but that's to be expected. They take forever to dry in the dryer so I figured laying them out on a freezing night wasn't going to do the job. I had one sock and that went on over the dead foot. The toes looked almost petrified. Not good. I tied the shoelaces of my remaining boot together and slung it around my neck. I had no idea what I'd use it for but I'd already lost almost everything and decided I was going to keep whatever I could.

I could get along without food but I knew I had almost no chance of surviving without water. I decided to follow the river. I might luck out and see some berries along the way. Plus, there was always the chance I'd get lucky and catch a fish or two.

It was slow going with the crutch. I couldn't really put any weight on my left foot and that slowed me down considerably. After five miles or so, there was a real shore, almost a beach along the river. I struggled down the four foot slope and walked near the river. Sometimes the forest would come right up to the edge of the beach, others there were ten or fifteen feet of open space.

It wasn't a white sand tropical beach by any means. There were lots of rocks, from skip along the water size up to mini boulders. They almost made it an obstacle course. Of course, before I got going, I spread out on one and took a good drink. Not as easy as it sounds. It's tough to get water from a river to your mouth with your hands. I tried putting my face in the water and drinking that way. For about a half a second. The water was colder than I remembered it being when I woke up. Probably because I had a chance to get acclimated to it after falling into it and being swept downstream who knows how many miles. I wasn't willing to put forth the effort to get used to it today.

I did find a little pond that had been dug out somewhere along the line. I could see four or five fish swimming around in it and they looked tempting. Kind of a fish rest stop, I guess. I stood near the edge of it and took aim, then shoved my crutch into the water. It bent as soon as it hit the water, going in one direction while the fish went in the other. Have to take refraction into account, Val. OK, I could do that. I waited a few minutes and a few more came in out of the rapids. I saw one out a little further than my hands could reach, plenty close for me to get with the stick. I took the refraction into account and aimed a little far, then pushed the end of the stick in the water. The fish just leisurely swam away a couple of feet while my crutch hit a soft spot and went in half way. I ended up in the pond and was lucky to get out before I froze to death.

I got up on the shore and sat down on a rock. The stupid boot had filled with water and was leaking on me so I reached behind my neck and pulled the shoelace up. I was all set to dump it when I realized there was a fish in there. Not huge, maybe half the size of my foot. But it was a fish and I was starving.

Where I was, there was maybe five feet of shore, then a wall four feet high, then five or six feet of clearing before the trees started. I hobbled over to the wall and set the boot with the fish in it on the high ground, almost as far back as I could reach. Then I looked around and got a couple of decent rocks.

One of them was kind of like a squashed football only the ends were more rounded. The other fit in my hand.

I tried to dump the fish out onto the big rock so I could smash it with the one in my hand. No such luck. He did stay up on the high ground, though he was flopping around like crazy. I gave up on trying to grab him with my left hand and tried pounding him with the rock, instead. I hit the body and must have broken his spine because he wasn't jumping. He was still trying to get away, though. I held him down with the rock, then grabbed him by the tail and put him on the big rock. I pounded on his head a couple of times and he stopped moving.

I went back near the river and sat down. I was able to get the head off after working on it for a while, then I got my hands down inside and opened it up. I scooped out all the guts and tossed it all into the river. I'm sure somebody in there had a good meal. I just wasn't that hungry. Yet.

The backbone was accessible now and I eased it and a good portion of its skeleton out. That went in the river, then I rinsed off the two fillets, took a deep breath and bit into it.

I've never had sushi so I don't know how this fish rated against the stuff they charge the big bucks for. The very thought of eating raw fish had made me a little ill when people would talk about it before. But I'll tell you, this stuff was great. I'm sure that the fact I was starving had a lot to do with it. I'll tell you one thing. You'll never have fish any fresher than what I had.

I ate all I could, then tossed the tail into the water. I put my hands in the water and washed them off, then did what I could with my face. I hobbled back to the wall, got my boot and dipped it in the water. I made a hell of a better cup than my hands. I don't know why I didn't think of it before.

The sun had passed its zenith before I started messing with the fish. It had to be after 2:00. I got my crutch and started walking near the river.

About a half hour later I saw some bushes up near the trees. I made my way up there and discovered that they were raspberries. I ate my fill, then put some in my boot for later. I was thirsty after eating and used my hands again since the boot was full. I was getting better or I wasn't as thirsty as before because it seemed a lot easier this time.

I kept going. I'd been keeping an eye on the sky and it didn't look good. There were some dark clouds making their way towards me and the last thing I wanted was to be caught in a storm. I wanted to find a place other than the forest to spend the night.

I came around a curve and saw a small mountain off in the distance. There were some dark areas that I was sure were caves. That became my goal. With a real sense of purpose, I headed that way, feeling good about myself. That's when I felt the first few drops of rain.

A little over a half hour later I was at the base of the mountain. It was no Everest, but the nearest cave looked about 500 feet up. The rain was coming down hard and I was soaked. The mountain was mostly dirt, which was now mostly mud. Most of the climb was made on my knees. I don't know how long it took but there were a couple of times I felt like rolling up in a ball and letting the elements have their way with me.

I had just slid thirty or forty feet on my belly in the mud. I was not looking forward to climbing it again when there was a flash of lightning. It was close enough that I could feel the sizzle in the air and the thunderclap that accompanied it was almost immediate. Shit! It must have been closer than I thought. It actually blinded me. All I could see was an image of what had been there at the moment of the flash. And what was there was an opening I hadn't seen before. Still blind, I felt my way over to it and I found my cave. Warm, comfortable, fresh smelling. My cave.

The storm was long forgotten as I took off my wet clothes and explored deeper until I found my alcove and my pond.

I smelled something rotting. I did some crawling around, trying to find it. Whatever it was was always behind me. I finally worked my frostbitten foot closer and realized that was the smell. The last step before death or amputation was gangrene. I reached back to the hole in my other leg. It felt hot. I knew it was infected.

There was room to sit up and I ate my berries, naked, in the dark. They might be my last meal. I reconciled myself to making this alcove my final resting place. It was almost as if it was designed for me. I dipped my empty boot in the water and drank from it. The water was sweet and warm, better than any water I could remember. I rolled over and poured the rest on the hole in the back of my leg, then scooted closer and let my infected foot soak in the water.

I could feel the hole in my leg doing something. It was almost as if it was sizzling, like when you pour peroxide on an open wound. It was too dark to see what was happening. Then my foot started burning, almost like I'd stuck it in acid. Good. Maybe it would burn the fucker off so it couldn't kill me. I didn't believe it but it was a nice thought.

I woke up with a start. I was leaning back against the wall. My leg and foot didn't seem to be reacting to the water. What I'd give for Jimmy's Bic so I could check them out. I moved back into the alcove and lay down on my back. The sand made a good cushion and I said a quick prayer, begging for survival before I fell asleep.

I was sitting on my first horse with my first .22 rifle in my hands. Jimmy was sitting next to me. He had a rifle too but it was holstered next to his saddle. I shot and killed the rabbit nibbling away in Mom's garden.

Bev was flying off the tire, her arms waving in the air, as if she was swimming or trying to catch hold of something, something to keep her from hitting the ground. "Help me, Val," she cried.

She came out of the barn with my sister and she gave me that look and that smile. She wasn't skinny anymore. Then I stumbled and she and my sister wrapped their arms around each other and walked away, laughing.

Dad and I were riding as our dog Henry herded the sheep back toward the corral. It was time for shearing.

Mom brought in an apron full of vegetables from her garden. "Come on, you two. Time to get to work." Vicky and I hurried over to the sink to prepare them for dinner.

Jimmy was laughing as he swung on the branch. It cracked and he started to go over the edge of the cliff. I jumped up and pushed him back and I went over instead. As I floated down toward the water, he shouted out "So long, Sucker. God, Val, you're such a wuss."