Chapter 1

And then the one thing I never expected happened. I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick being sucked. My first thought was that Bev or Barb had snuck into my room and were just going to take what I would not give on my own. I tensed and was gathering myself to rise up and push whichever twin it was off of me when a voice said:

"Relax baby; we both need this."

The voice was Kari's and she swung over me, took my cock in her hand, lined it up and pushed down on it. It had been a while for me and I did not last as long as I would have liked to, but it didn't bother Kari.

"It has been a while for me too baby, but don't worry because we aren't done yet."

She went back to work on my cock and I responded to her ministrations. The second time was a lot longer and more satisfying and when it was over Kari said:

"I want to stay and cuddle. I want my girls to see me leave your room in the morning."

I opened my arms and she snuggled in.

I woke up when she got out of bed. "It's early" she said, "You have another hour or so until your alarm goes off. I just heard one of the girls go into the bathroom so I'm going to leave your room as she comes out into the hallway. I want her to see me."

She bent over and kissed me and said, "Until tonight baby." She moved over to the door, hesitated until she heard the bathroom door open and then she stepped out of my room into the hall.

I got a call at work from Kari asking me to meet her at Miller's Bar when I got off work. When I got there she was sitting at a table and two guys were standing there talking to her when I came in. She saw me and waved me over and when I got there she stood up and kissed me and then sat down.

"Guys, this is my boyfriend Rob. Rob, this is Stan and Jerry."

The guys shook my hand, said "Nice meeting you," and then told Kari that they would see her around and walked away. She smiled and said:

"That worked out well."

"What worked out well?"

"Killing two birds with one stone. One, I needed to talk with you away from the house and two, those two will spread the word about my boyfriend and that will shut down some of the assholes who keep bothering me."

"I'm your new boyfriend?"

"You are if you want to be."

"What do you need me to talk about away from the house?"

"Last night. I need to explain it."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know if you are okay with it and if you aren't I need to explain why so you don't throw us out on our butts."

"Did I behave like I was unhappy about it?"

"No, but how you feel when Mr. Happy is busy is not an indication of how things are when he is resting."

"So what is to explain?"

"I was super horny and I needed to get laid. I've been trying to find someone who would turn me on since I've moved in with you, but I haven't had much luck. A lot of horn dogs like Stan and Jerry, but no one I could really get interested in except you, but I stayed away from you because you didn't seem all that interested in me other than something that could piss off DJ."

"What changed your mind?"

"Barb and Bev."

"How did they change your mind?"

"I was in the laundry room folding clothes and they thought that I was up in my room so they were talking unaware that I could hear them. I heard all about their plans to get you to do them and I knew that the only way I could stop it was to get to you first and then let them find out about it so they would leave you alone."

"You didn't have to worry. They have been wagging their butts at me for two weeks now and I have avoided them. Believe me, I wouldn't have touched them."

"Oh yes you would have. What I did last night was what they had planned on doing. They were going to flip a coin to see which one of them was going to be the one to sneak in and wake you with a blow job. If one of them had gotten you up and hard there is no doubt in my mind that you would not have stopped."

"I've been expecting them to pull something and I have a great sense of self preservation. My fear of going to jail over having sex with a minor would have me putting a stop to it as soon as I realized what was going on. You saw it yourself. You felt me getting ready to push you away and that is why you told me to relax. It is only because I recognized your voice that you didn't end up on your butt on the floor."

"But you didn't push me away and I'm glad. I enjoyed myself and I'd like to do it again. In fact I'd like to do it on a steady basis. How do you feel about that?"

"As I recall you kissed me and said "Until tonight" when you left my room and I don't believe I said "No way! Not gonna do it."

She smiled at me and said, "It has been a while for me. Early night tonight?"

Outside of the nasty looks the twins gave me and a bi-weekly phone call from Audrey saying that she knew we could work things out if I would just talk to her the next three months passed by uneventfully. Work was going well, Kari and I were having sex three and four times a week, the twins were doing well in school and had gotten involved in girls volleyball and field hockey.

And then Audrey reared up and threw shit into the game.

She had saved up enough money to get an attorney and she had filed for a legal separation. The judge — a different one — ordered counseling and we started all over again. It was a different Audrey at the first of the mandated sessions. It was a different marriage councilor and so it was all new to him.

I told my side the same as I had done in the first go round and Audrey didn't try to interrupt me. When it was her turn she calmly said:

"I filed for a separation rather than a divorce because I don't want a divorce and my attorney said a separation would be the best way to get court ordered counseling and I believe that if I can just sit down with Rob and explain things we can work things out.

"First, I need to clear a couple of things up. Rob accused me of being a cheating whore and that is not true. I have never cheated on him and I'm perfectly willing to take a lie detector test on that. DJ was there with me that day to help me if you got violent and before you explode on me for saying that I will admit that never in our marriage did you ever raise a hand to me, but then I had never told you that I was walking out on you either. I had no way of knowing how you would react and that is why DJ was there. The other thing is that I was called a thief and I deny that. The way I explained it in previous sessions is just the way it happened. I would have given half of it back, but I never got the chance and I'll take a lie detector test on that also.

"I made some errors in judgment. I should have handled things differently and I know that now. I should have sat down and explained why I wanted a trial separation and then discussed it with you, but as we all know, hindsight is twenty twenty."

Then Barry, the councilor, said "Now that you have brought it up suppose you tell us just why you wanted that trial separation."

"I wanted some excitement in my life. Marriage to Rob was dull and boring. We never went anywhere or did anything. I love Rob and our sex life was good, but I wanted a little more than that. I talked with my girlfriend Anna two or three times a week and she was always telling me about the fun things she was doing and after a while I started wanting to do some fun things too. One of the things I've always wanted to do was try pot, but Rob has always been a rabid anti-drug person. I wanted to drink and dance all night long, but while Rob drinks he doesn't dance and so he never took me anywhere where I could dance with someone else if they asked me. Of course, knowing Rob, I know he would never let me dance with anyone else even if he took me to a place where it could happen.

"One afternoon Anna talked me into going out and spending an afternoon with her. We went to a bar on the other side of town and she introduced me to some of her friends. We drank and danced to the music on the juke box and a couple of guys asked us if we wanted to go for a ride. It was my first time on a motorcycle and I loved it. I started spending one or two afternoons a week with Anna and her friends.

"One day DJ was there and he asked me if I'd like to take a ride with him and I said yes. We rode for almost an hour and then he pulled in and parked at a picnic area and he asked me if I would like to share a joint with him. It was something that I had always wanted to try and I said yes. I liked it. I liked the feeling that it gave me. When the joint was gone we rode back to the bar. After that DJ always seemed to be there whenever I went with Anna and he always asked me if I wanted to go for a ride.

"Most of the time there were a half dozen bikes on the run and we always ended up somewhere where we did a little smoke. I always made sure that I was home in time to have dinner ready for Rob when he got home from work. One day DJ made a pass at me and I shut him down. I told him that I was married and that I loved my husband. He didn't push it, just shrugged, but he was always the one offering the rides and he was always the one who was sharing his pot with me.

"I was having a ball, but I wanted more. I got the dumb idea of telling Rob I was going to leave him for a while to try and find myself. I discussed it with Anna and she suggested that I have someone with me to keep Rob from going off on me. I asked DJ if he would do it and he said that he would. Then he asked me if I really expected trouble from Rob and I made the mistake of saying probably not, that Rob was usually a pussycat. So he said that what I was telling him is that Rob was a wimp and to my everlasting shame I didn't say no to that. I just shrugged my shoulders and said that Rob probably was. The only reason I did that was so that DJ wouldn't change his mind about going with me. If he thought Rob would be no trouble he wouldn't back out.

"Anyway, it all went to hell when Rob came home and I told him I was leaving. He surprised me by just saying "Have a nice life" and that is when DJ went all stupid on us and here we are."

She turned to me and said, "I love you Rob and I don't want a divorce."

I just shrugged and said "Okay Audrey, I've listened to what you have said. Some of it or maybe even all of it may be true, but it changes nothing as far as I'm concerned. The day you told me you were leaving me for whatever the reason is the day our marriage died. I wrote you off then and I see no reason to change my mind. By your own words here I wasn't good enough for you then. I wasn't exciting enough for you then. Well I have news for you Audrey; I'm still the same un-exciting guy that I was then and I'm never going to change. Taking you back would be the dumbest thing I could do. I could never trust that some day you wouldn't go off again to find your so called excitement."

"You say that you that you never cheated on me with DJ or any of the others you had your excitement with. It could possibly be true, but I will never believe it. Assholes like DJ and the guys he ran with don't waste time on broads that don't put out. So there it is. You can force counseling all you want and you can fight any divorce I pursue, but you and I are done. There is no — I repeat, no — chance that you and I will ever get back together."

Barry looked from me to Audrey and then said, "Counseling only works when both parties want to work at saving a marriage. I can see that isn't the case here. I will file my report with the court stating that I see no chance of reconciliation in this case. Audrey cried out:

"Damn it Rob, I love you. You have to give me a chance."

"I gave you six years Audrey and it wasn't enough."

I got up, shook Barry's hand and thanked him for his time and then walked out of his office. As I headed home I made up my mind that I was not going to restart the divorce. Why waste the money just so I could give money and other assets to Audrey. Any divorce would be because she went for it.

The next six months went by quickly. Kari had moved into my bedroom much to the dismay of Bev and Barb who seemed to still have designs on me. By then I was treating them like daughters. They had both taken Driver's Ed in school and had their temporary permits and I spent a lot of time out on the road with them. When we were away from Kari they flirted shamelessly with me, but I still wasn't having any of it. Finally I sat them both down and told them flat out that they were wasting their time.

"You are both underage and I will not risk going to jail so give it a rest."

"So what I'm hearing" Bev said, "Is that if we were eighteen it would be a done deal?"

I threw up m hands in exasperation and walked away from them.

They got all As and Bs on their report cards and they were heavily involved in girls sports and except for their obsession with trying to get in my bed they were great kids.

They took their drive tests and they both passed and got their permanent licenses and I sat down at the dinner table with them a week before their seventeenth birthday and told them that their mother and I had worked out a deal. I was going to give their mother my ex's car which was only two years old in exchange for her ten year old car and then I was going to give them their mother's car as a birthday present. There were squeals of delight and they jumped up, ran around the table and kissed and hugged me.

That night as Kari and I were relaxing in each other's arms after making love she said:

"Thank you lover."

"For what?"

"For being the man you are. You are the closest thing to a father that the girls have ever had."

"You're kidding me?"

"No I'm not. The men I've hooked up with have tolerated them, but only because they wanted me. And there were some like DJ who tried to hide it from me, but saw them as fresh meat. I know that doesn't say much for me, but you can't always tell what kind a man is when you first start out with him. I wish I'd met you fifteen years ago."

"No you don't. Fifteen years ago I was a horn dog running around trying to stick my dick into anything female."

"What changed you?"

"I grew up."

"Oh well, better late than never" she said as she fondled my cock.

It seemed that my life was destined to be full of surprised. The twins had several friends over on their birthday. We had cake and ice cream and then I handed them each a twenty and handed Bev — she was the oldest by three minutes - the keys to Kari's old car and told them to make sure that they were home by eleven. After they and their friends were gone Kari and I curled up on the couch and she said:

"I talked with your wife today."

"You what?"

"I was in Safeway picking up the cake and ice cream and she walked up to me and said hi. I didn't know Audrey was your wife."

"Sure you did. There isn't a week goes by that she doesn't get mentioned."

"Yes, but never by name. It was always "That bitch I was married to" or "My whore of an ex." You never mentioned her by name."

"Why does it matter?"

"It doesn't I guess; it's just that I knew her when she was hanging around the Diablos with her friend Anna."

"Then you know what a whore she was."

"Actually I don't. The whole time she was around us all she did was some drinking, dancing and pot smoking. She liked going on rides, but she never did anything else. She might have wanted to, but she never did."

"So what did she want?"

"She heard that I was staying with you and wanted to know why I was trying to steal her man."

"Her man? That's a laugh."

"She thinks she can get you back if only I will get out of the way."

"Not a chance in hell of that."

"I told her I was not in her way, that I was just a boarder and that I got room and board for being the maid and cook and I told her that the only reason you let me move in was so you could rub DJ's nose in it."

"And she bought that? That doesn't sound like Audrey."

"I told her I tried to get you in bed, but you pushed me away and said it wouldn't be right and that you couldn't do anything like that until you were divorced. She really does plan on trying to get you back."

"You should have told her we were bed buddies and maybe then she would have gotten the message that I'm done with her."

"I might have if it had been anyone else, but I know she never cheated on you at least not with our group so I didn't think it would be fair. I liked her. I think she got stupid there for a little bit and now she's trying to get back what she knows she should have never given up."

All I could do when I heard that was shrug.

I started getting weekly phone calls from Audrey. The first one set the tone for all that followed.

"Kari tells me that you don't make love because you aren't divorced yet. I'm never going to give you a divorce so the question is how long can you go without sex? Knowing you I'm surprised that it has been this long. You don't have to go without baby; I'm here for you. Any time at all, just call me."

"Why don't you just go away Audrey?"

"I can't baby; I love you. I know I fucked up and I'm sorry, but I do love you and I'm going to get you back. It may take some time, but I'm going to get you back."

What the hell was with that woman I thought as I hung up the phone. She couldn't wait to bail out on me and now she's all hot to come back. Why? She was out there. She was free to do whatever she wanted. She was a good looking and sexy looking woman and I knew she has to have plenty of guys sniffing around. So there she was. Man bait, free to smoke pot, drink, dance and have all that excitement that she was leaving me to experience so why the fuck was she bugging me to take her back? To me it made no sense at all.

On the home front even though Kari has staked her claim the twins still took shots at me whenever Kari wasn't around. They thought nothing of walking naked in front of me and they would come into the bathroom and try to catch me with my dick out and in my hand as I was taking a whiz. Once Bev came in and asked me if she could hold it and aim it for me. They did it even though I had a lock on the door. The knob was one of those you could open from the outside with a dime or even a long fingernail. I heard it was designed that way so little kids couldn't get accidently lock themselves in the bathroom. I finally had to replace it with a keyed lock.

That was my life for the next six months. Work, make love to Kari three or four times a week, cut grass, do household chores, get a phone call from Audrey every two weeks or so and fight off the attentions of the twins. They almost got me once and it was a close call.

Kari had gone somewhere to do something and I was sitting in the easy chair watching something on the TV and I nodded off. Suddenly I felt something on my chest and I woke up and saw Barb wrapping clothesline around me and the chair. Bev was doing the same thing to my legs and the chair legs. When they were done they stepped back to admire their handiwork and then Bev said:

"Who gets him first?"

They did 'rock, paper, scissors' and Barb won. She was just pulling at my zipper when they heard the garage door start to open.

"Shit! Moms home."

They hurriedly unwrapped me and then ran off to their rooms before Kari got into the house. I had thought that with me and Kari involved I would be okay, but apparently I wasn't. I resolved never to let myself be alone with them again.

Audrey's phone calls were sounding a little more desperate. "Please baby, you have to let me come home. I don't know how much longer I can hold out."

"What do you mean "hold out?"

"I'm a healthy girl Rob and I haven't had sex since the last time with you."

"So go get yourself laid."

"I can't baby. If I do I know for sure that you will never take me back."

"Why didn't you think of that way back when you decided to bail out on me?"

"I wasn't thinking Rob. I was just thinking of the fun I could have. I didn't wake up until I found out what DJ had planned for me. I'm sorry Rob. I messed up big time, but I will make it up to you. Please baby, please let me come home."

"Why Audrey? Just so I can spend my time wondering when you would get bored with me and go partying with Anna again?"

"I don't even talk to Anna anymore. She knew what was likely to happen to me and she never warned me. She was a fucking Judas goat."

"I'm sorry Audrey, but I just can't see it happening. Bye."

Kari got a call from one of her friends who told her that two of the Diablos who had gone to jail and who had gotten a year each were out on early release and I started carrying my Beretta ... About three weeks after getting the call Kari and I were at the mall and I saw one of them. He saw me at the same time and he saw me open my coat and reach for the Beretta in the shoulder holster. He turned and ran in the other direction so I guess he got the message that I had passed that day in the prison visiting room,

It was a week after that that disaster struck.

I've gone back over it in my head a dozen times and the only way I can see that it could have been prevented would have been if I had just ignored DJ when he called me a wimp and turned and left the room to let him and Audrey leave.

It was a Monday night and I was in the upstairs bathroom changing a burned out light bulb when I saw three guys come over the back fence. As they moved to the house I noticed that one of them had a bad limp. I hurried to my bedroom and got the Beretta and moved quietly down the stairs. The stairs ended on a landing that led into the living room on the right and the dining room on the left. Kari and the twins were on the couch where they had been watching TV. The three men were facing them and apparently had not heard me coming down the stairs. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard DJ saying:

" ... three of you whores making money for me, but first I'm going to settle up with the fuck face who lives here. Where is he?"

"Right behind you sperm breath."

He spun around and I saw that he has a gun in his hand. I already had mine up and I put three rounds in the center of his chest. As they drove him backwards he threw his arms out wide and his gun went off. The two men with him put their arms up and cried, "Don't shoot, don't shoot." I heard Bev and Barb screaming. It took a second or two to register that they were screaming "mommy, mommy." I took a quick look and I saw Kari slumped on the couch with blood running down the front of her. I hollered "call 911" but both girls were hysterical. I kept the gun on the two men and hurried over and slapped Bev and when she shook it off I told her to call 911.

I walked over to DJ and kicked his gun away. He looked up at me and gasped:

"I'm hurt bad. Call an ambulance man; for God's sake get me some help."

I leaned down and whispered in his ear, "I told you if I ever saw you again I'd kill you. No ambulance for you cocksucker. Lay there and die."

I told the two guys to le down on the floor on their backs and spread their arms and legs like they were making Angels in the snow.

"If you move I will kill you. Raise your head, twitch, any movement at all and I will shoot you dead. I swear to God I will. I'm sorely tempted to do it anyway."

"Don't man, please don't. We was only supposed to help him get his bitches back. Wasn't supposed to be no shootin. We don't want no part of this shit man."

While holding the gun on them I got Kari on her back and ripped open her blouse. I grabbed a throw pillow and put it over the bullet hole in her chest and pushed down to try and stop the bleeding. Her eyes fluttered open and she managed to lift her arm and her hand grabbed my wrist.

"My girls" she said weakly, "Take care of my girls. Promise me Rob; take care of my babies."

"I promise."

Her grip weakened and then with a little cry she was gone. Bev and Barb were crying and Barb looked at me and asked, "Momma?"

All I could do was shake my head no and that set off more wailing.

After all of the flashing red and blue lights were gone and the girls and I were alone I tried to calm them down, but how do you do that to two girls who have just seen their mother shot and then die in front of them? All I could do was put my arms around them and hug them as they cried into my shoulders. After a while I led them to my bedroom and the three of got on the king size bed and with Barb on my right and Bev on my left and one arm around each of them I held them while they cried themselves to sleep.

The next three days were busy with interviews with detectives and assistant district attorneys and making arrangements for Kari's funeral. There were only a dozen or so in attendance and one of them, a hard looking redhead, came up to me and introduced herself as Matty, shook my hand and told me that she was sorry for my loss.

"You were good for her. She was really happy for the first time in the eight years that I knew her. She was hoping to marry you if you ever divorced Audrey. It was the first time I ever heard her talk about marriage."

"You know Audrey?"

"She ran with us for a while until we clued her in on what DJ had planned for her."

"Why did you clue her in?"

"It was obvious to the rest of us that she didn't belong there. She was getting a taste of wild for the first time in her life and it was turning her head. She wouldn't have lasted a week on the street and we knew it so we told her what she was getting herself into in time for her to get out."

"I heard she was pulling trains with the guys in your club."

"I don't know who told you that shit, but she never gave it up for any of the guys even though nearly all of them tried. Not even DJ although he did brag about what he was going to do with her when he got her broke in. Anyway, I kept Kari up to date on what the Diablos were planning and if you want to give me your number I'll call you if anything about you comes up."

I gave her my number and she left. It was a sad day for the twins and they were not yet cried out so I had my hands full trying to comfort them. Since that first night we had all been sleeping in my bed, but I was going to have to put and end to that soon. I didn't expect anything to happen until we got a ways away from their mother's death, but given their track record in the past it was likely that one day in the future I was going to be a target again.

At breakfast the day after Kari's funeral both girls were sitting at the table with their eyes downcast. I assumed that they were grieving so I didn't say anything. About halfway through breakfast Bev set her fork down and said:

"When do we have to leave?"

"Leave? Why are you leaving?"

"Mom's gone. None of her other boyfriends wanted us around even when she was there and now she's gone."

"Yes she is, but I'm not. The last thing your mom said to me was "promise me that you will take care of my girls" and I promised her that I would. You are my girls now and you aren't leaving unless you want to."

"You mean it?" Barb cried, "We can stay?"

"As long as you want."

They both jumped up and came over and hugged me and there was more crying only that time it wasn't caused by sadness.

The next two nights they slept with me and one morning I woke up with Barb's leg thrown over mine and her left hand on my thigh about three inches away from home plate. I started getting stiff and I knew that it was time to send them back to their own rooms. It was also time to step back and look at what I had promised Kari and where it was going to lead. There were no two ways about it. I was going to need protection from the twins and to brutally honest with myself they were getting very close to needing protection from me.

But what to do?

Almost as I had the thought a possibility occurred. The fact that I even remotely considered it shows how desperate I was. Audrey called.

"Are you ready yet?"

"Am I ready for what?"

"Are you ready to let me back into your life?"

"Why do you keep bothering me Audrey?"

"Because I love you Rob. I've told you and told you that and why you won't believe me I'll never understand."

"It should be very easy for you to understand Audrey. Just think back to that day in the living room when you stood up and said, "God. Now we can get this over with." Remember that Audrey? Remember your next words? I believe they were "I'm leaving you." Remember that?"

"I screwed up Rob. I admitted that I screwed up. I also said that I would take a lie detector test on the cheating and the money. Give me a chance Rob. Let me prove to you that I love you and want to be with you."

"A chance? Just how bad do you want that chance?"

"I'll do anything Rob, anything at all."

"I doubt that Audrey, but I guess we will just have to see."

"You'll do it? You'll give me a chance?"

"We need to talk Audrey and not on the phone. Meet me at Augie's tomorrow night at six and we will talk."