Chapter 8: Fall 1996 (10th Grade)

I didn't get out of bed except to use the bathroom for three days after learning the woman I loved was pregnant, was getting an abortion, and planned to completely hide and lie about it. Natalie stayed with me much of that time. After the first night of crying, when I wouldn't tell her what was wrong, she asked if she should call Rachel and ask her what was wrong.

I told her, "I don't want to hear that name again. If you know what's good for you, you won't call her, you won't write her, and you'll forget she ever existed."

Only when she told me that our parents were considering committing me to mental hospital for observation did I finally agree to at least get up, shower, and do something other than lay in bed. I'd missed two days of football practice, but Ray assured me that the team would welcome me back on Monday if I was ready.

After sitting in front of the TV for about twenty minutes that morning, I couldn't sit still anymore. I went and found Ray and went back to work on the farm. I worked until nightfall and did the same thing on Sunday.

Monday, I went to practice, I worked on the farm, practiced in the afternoon, ate dinner, and slept. I didn't talk much, and when I told Natalie I wanted to be alone that night, she slept in her own room. I wasn't crying at night anymore. My sadness was turning into anger. A deep and powerful anger that was worse than the hatred I felt for my biological father. This anger was so strong, I could only hold it inside myself.

I know that if let it out, it would only be harmful. I felt like if I let out this aggression on the football field, I'd end up beating some kid to a bloody pulp. I was perpetually filled with rage and I didn't know how to deal with it.

A full week went by and I'd only spoken perfunctorily to my friends and family. So when Michelle called on Sunday and asked if I wanted to go see a movie, I first thought, 'Hell no.'

But, I was also so mad, so caught up in my own misery, I didn't care anymore about her feelings. I didn't care that I didn't think of her as more than a hot female friend. So I said, "Sure. I'll pick you up in about an hour."

We didn't make it to a movie. When she got in the car, I asked, "Do you really want to go see a movie, or would you rather go somewhere and fuck?"

Michelle gave a tiny gasp, but then she grinned and said, "Screw the movie. No. Wait. Let me rephrase. Forget the movie ... screw me instead."

I laughed. It was a forced laugh, but I was angry, horny, and Michelle had always been happy with a nice angry fuck.

Now, many places across America have local scenic overlooks, secluded parks, lakes, and all sorts of places where teenagers go to park a car and steam up the windows. Where I lived, the most popular thing to do was to find a new subdivision of half-finished homes, take a mattress or a blanket inside and there you go—a cheap hotel. In the winter, teens couldn't use this method, but most summer and fall nights, it was plenty warm enough.

After driving around for only about twenty minutes, we found a new subdivision of homes where there were walls and roofs, but no windows or doors—perfect for a teen-fuck-den. I still had the tent, air mattress, and sleeping bag in the back of the car. For only half-a-second, I thought, "I can't do this. The last time I had sex on this mattress, I was making love to a beautiful woman. I can't turn around and fuck another girl in this sleeping bag now."

But the moment was fleeting, and Michelle and I happily found a house out of sight of the crossroads, parked our car in the newly paved driveway, and set up a mini-camp in the living room.

Once the air mattress was inflated, Michelle and I wasted no time in tearing off each others' clothes and climbing onto the sleeping-bag covered mattress. Michelle did all the kissing. I returned her kisses, but I never instigated them. When I felt she was warmed up, I grabbed her and flipped her over onto her stomach. She cried with glee.

I fisted my cock to test its hardness, and found it plenty stiff. I made to push my cock into her tight cunt from behind, but I found that in the months since I'd last fucked her, she'd begun to tighten up again. All that stretching we'd managed last Fall and during the occasional party-threesome during the Winter was now gone. She was nearly as tight as a virgin again.

I delighted in slowly forcing my prick down into her wet puss. Michelle groaned throatily, almost like an animalistic growl. When I bottomed out, Michelle gasped, "Oh fuck I missed this."

Her pussy muscles quivered like a musical instrument. Or maybe her spasmodic squeezing was her way of playing my skin flute. Either way, it was beautiful. And after a moment of basking in her glorious Kegel workout, I began to feel sad. I was feeling sad because I didn't need beautiful sex right now. I needed fucking. I needed animalistic rutting towards a hard fast orgasm.

So that's what I started doing. With probably the most energy I'd ever given, I began thrusting my whole body down into Michelle's elfin body. Without spanking or hitting her, I knew that her ass would have bruises the next day just from where my hips were slamming into her. Yet, despite my brutal assault, Michelle was screaming out for me to fuck her harder.

"Oh God! Fuck me harder Nathan! Fuck my tight little cunt you bastard! Harder! Harder!"

In the span of only five or six minutes, I was sure I felt her have at least two orgasms, possibly even three. I really couldn't tell with her though, because once she'd had her first, her pussy was like a river of juices that didn't stop flowing and she screamed throughout the entire fuck like it was all one long orgasm for her.

But still, I knew she wasn't faking anything. She liked it rough, and I was all too happy to give her what she wanted, because in that moment, it was what I needed.

When I finally shot my load into her, I rocked back on my knees and felt her pussy trying to clamp down and hold me inside. But my cock popped free with a nasty slurping sound. I watched, entranced, as Michelle's pussy hole visibly was contracting open and closed with each gasping breath she took. With each exhale, her hole opened a little wider and more of our combined juices began to flow out onto the sleeping bag.

My cock was still hard though after a minute of rest, and I wanted to fuck her some more. So without much warning, I pulled Michelle's ass up off the mattress so her weak knees barely held her up so I could fuck her from a slightly different angle. Still sitting back on my own ankles, my knees bent, I lifted Michelle's tiny ass up and lowered her sloppy pussy back down on my cock.

Michelle was conscious enough to move her legs further apart and plant her knees outside my own, but she was still lying face down and panting. I was truly using her as a fuck-doll now. I began to lift her ass up and down my rod so I could fuck her. After a few strokes, Michelle seemed to feel her own excitement rising again and she began to use her legs to do much of the work this time.

Within moments, she was lifting her ass up and down so her pussy was fucking my cock and I wasn't doing any of the work except guiding her motions. Though I'd fucked her in the ass several times, had threesomes with her and Rachel before, and made her do degrading things before, this was probably the dirtiest and most erotic sex we'd ever had. Because no matter what, if anyone were to come in and see us fucking right then, anyone would think she looked like a complete slut, wantonly fucking me like a dog in heat.

We weren't making love, we were fucking, and while I was certainly enjoying myself. A small part of me was also dying inside with each thrust. I felt it tearing inside me, but I ignored it. I pushed it away and locked it deeper inside me where it couldn't bother me anymore. I gave myself over to the lust flooding my body, and for the next three hours, Michelle and I became the rutting animals I needed to become.

We fucked, and fucked, and fucked. When it was time to clean up and drive her home, Michelle looked absolutely exhausted, but completely fulfilled. She also smelled like a fucking whore. I gave her my t-shirt to clean up with and resigned to going home bare-chested. I also knew I needed to clean the sleeping bag the next day. Luckily, it was made of thick nylon on the outer layer and I knew that most of the mess could probably just be washed off with a washcloth and some soapy water. No real need for a machine wash and hours of drying.

When I pulled up to Michelle's house, she kissed me dreamily and said, "That was awesome. If you don't give me a repeat performance—soon—I'll never forgive you."

Then I watched her limp into her house. I couldn't help but happily smirk as she could barely walk straight after what we'd done. She looked like she was drunk, but we hadn't had a sip of alcohol. Her clothes were a bit disheveled, and her hair was not exactly in the same pristine form it had been before. Combined with the smell, if her parents got close to her, they'd know she wasn't just a bit out-of-order from making out.

Hell, if I didn't know the truth, I might have thought she'd just been gang-banged from the way she was walking and the way she smelled. Not that I minded her smell. It was like I'd marked my territory. I still didn't feel anything towards her, except friendship, and maybe a bit of possessiveness, but I didn't return the much stronger feelings she had towards me.

When I got home that night, I was feeling better. The sadness and anger were still there, deep inside me, but I'd found a way to let a small portion of it out—through lust-filled rage-sex, animalistic fucking.

My family seemed to notice a difference in my mood, so they also seemed to back off a bit. Natalie was the only one who continued to subtly pressure me for more information. But I pretty much just ignored her. I didn't want to take about what happened. I didn't even want to think about it.

Michelle and I continued to see each other regularly. Our relationship blossomed into what would nowadays be called 'friends with benefits' or 'fuck-buddies'. We still occasionally hung out and went on dates which often led to sex, but we also regularly hooked up for purely physical sex. It was these encounters which actually did more for me on an emotional level. While Michelle enjoyed the dating and hanging out as much as the sex we had, it was the rutting like wildebeests that actually was doing the healing in my heart.

After our first week of school, Michelle found me after the first football game of the season and we ended up in her car headed to a party. While I'd showered and changed, she was still wearing the short skirt and tight top of her cheerleader uniform. Her face had glitter on it and her skin was flushed and glowing. She was basically a walking wet-dream. Even though I'd seen her like this at least a dozen times before, it was still a complete turn-on.

We parked about a block away from the party, as most of the streets were already full of cars. When I opened my door to get out, Michelle grabbed my arm, "Can we talk for a minute?"

I pulled the door closed, "Sure. What about?"

"About us. Are ... are we ... um ... exclusive?"

I thought about it for a moment before saying, "I guess ... I don't really plan on pursuing anyone else right now. I think you know I care about you, but my feelings don't really go beyond that. I know you have stronger feelings for me, but I don't return those feelings, at least ... not now. You ... you're ... my girlfriend, I guess, though. We've become more than just friends, and we both care about each other, we have fun together—"

"A lot of fun," Michelle grinned.

"Yeah. So, are we exclusive? Yeah. If you want to be. I think we both know I'm ... I'm not doing well. But what we've been doing lately—it's been helping."

Michelle nodded, "Good. Because I don't want to go through the trouble of arranging the occasional threesome if you're going to be cheating on me behind my back." She gave me a sly grin when she saw my eyes widen.

"You don't have to do that Michelle. I can honestly say that while it sounds fun, I don't need to have threesomes to be happy or anything."

Michelle raised her eyebrows questioningly, "Oh? Then why did ... well, why did we end up in a threesome?"

I didn't really want to talk about this but she deserved an explanation, "It started as a fantasy I told... her about. After she first made it come true, she ... well, she enjoyed it as much as I did. I think she enjoyed exploring that side of her sexuality with me present for safety."

"Ahh! A bit ... curious, you think? So you're not interested in threesomes anymore?"

"No. I'm still interested, but you don't have to make them happen just for me."

Michelle smiled, "And if I happen to enjoy them as well?"

I grinned back at her, but then my smile faded when Michelle opened her door, "Wait, Michelle!"

"Yeah?"

"Listen, I ... I care about you, so you should know ... I'm not sure I'm even capable of falling in love again—at least not in the foreseeable future."

Michelle leaned over and kissed me, "I know she hurt you. I also know there's more to it that just her leaving. But I'm not going to pry and I'm not going to pressure you. I'll take what I can get and I'll wait to see what happens."

"Just promise me something—don't do anything you're not comfortable with in some pursuit of my affection. I ... I don't think I can handle it if it goes bad and I lose you as a friend right now. I can't really deal with losing more friends right now."

Michelle smiled and kissed me again, "I promise. Now, let's go have some fun."

We did just that. Michelle and I actually ended up hardly drinking all night, and we stayed late so she could hang out with her friends. The party's host, Molly Simmons, was a fellow cheerleader and one of Michelle's best friends. Two other cheerleaders and their boyfriends as well as Molly, Michelle and I all ended up in our underwear in the hot tub after the party had died down and everyone else had left.

I'd love to be able to say that everything led to a wild orgy in the hot tub, or even some naughty game of 'Truth or Dare'—but it didn't. When the two cheerleaders and their boyfriends began getting frisky, Michelle pulled me out of the tub and we began a search for a bedroom that didn't already have messed-up sheets.

The first room we checked smelled like beer, puke, and sex. We didn't stay longer than the second it took to get a whiff. What we found in the next bedroom was far more surprising.

Michelle opened the door and gasped. I was a few steps behind and couldn't see what she was reacting to.

"What? Does it smell worse than..." as I turned and looked in, my voice trailed off completely. It seems that seeing your twin sister half-naked on top of a half-naked guy can have that effect on a person.

Natalie looked over at the doorway and her eyes met mine for half-a-second before my eyes were staring at her bare breasts. They were gorgeous. They looked like they were soft to the touch, but the way they rode high on her chest meant they were probably very firm inside. Each breast was tipped with a small brown nipple that stood out, erect like a Hershey's kiss.

For at least a couple seconds, neither one of us really reacted. Then Natalie gasped and jumped up from the guy in boxers that she'd been straddling while wearing only a thong. When I saw that he was hard and tenting his boxers, I couldn't help but be filled with anger. It's not something you ever want to see—your sister getting hot and heavy with some guy. Hell, we went to a fairly small to average sized high school, but I didn't recognize the guy. This meant, based on his size and the fact that I didn't know him, he was probably older than her.

With Natalie now covering her naked breasts with her hands and trying to hide behind the bed, I said sternly, "Natalie, put on your clothes. We're going home. Now."

She looked like she was going to protest for a second, but she must have seen how serious I was.

"If you're not dressed and at the front door within two minutes, I'm coming back in here," I said before closing the door.

Once the door was closed, I moved back to the hot tub and found the three cheerleaders and two boys engaged in a bit of an orgy. Currently, Molly was riding one boy while his girlfriend was getting fucked from behind by the other boy. The last cheerleader was sitting on the edge of the hot tub with her friend's face buried in her snatch. So it turns out, Michelle and I would have probably ended up as two additional characters in this hot tub orgy if we hadn't gotten out when we did.

I grabbed my clothes and began dressing. I noticed Michelle was doing the same. We met Natalie at the front door and I kissed Michelle goodnight.

"I'll call you tomorrow," I said.

"Bye," she sighed. I could tell from her sigh that I was leaving her horny, but she understood why I was leaving her like that.

I followed Natalie to our car. From the way she was walking, I could tell she'd been drinking more than I had, so I told her I was driving.

After a few minutes of driving in silence, I finally said, "Who the hell was that guy anyway?"

Natalie shrugged, "I dunno."

"What!? You don't even know his name?"

Natalie shook her head.

"Are ... were you prepared?"

"Huh?" she said.

"Did you have a fucking condom?!"

"Oh. No."

I slammed on the brakes and pulled the car off onto the shoulder. I turned to her, and yelled, "Are you fucking insane!? What the hell are you thinking!?"

"Screw you! Like you give a shit."

"Oh come on, Natalie! You know I'd do anything for you."

"Anything?!" Natalie asked sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Never mind."

"Never mind!? You were about to fuck a guy you didn't know without any kind of protection! You're not even on the pill are you?!"

Natalie shook her head and started to cry.

"Jesus! Natalie, what the hell were you doing in there?"

"I ... I don't know."

She was crying, and I did the only thing I could think of. I simply held her until she stopped crying. I couldn't understand why or how she could have gotten herself into that situation—Natalie had never been impulsive or reckless before. When she finished crying, I drove us both home. She followed me to my bedroom and we both climbed into my bed.

Other than those first days after Rachel had left, we hadn't shared a bed since I'd started dating Rachel. It was a bit weird now for me. Those days after Rachel had left, I'd welcomed the company, just for someone to hold onto and to hold me when I cried, but now, it took me quite a while to get comfortable enough to fall asleep.

The dream girl was back. It had been over two months since I'd dreamed of her. We were in the meadow, both of us naked, and we were lying against a tree, lazily. It was warm, and only the sides of our arms were touching each other. She looked at me sadly every once in a while, but when I tried to hold her and comfort her, she moved further away.

Then, suddenly, the sky darkened and it grew colder. I reached out for her, and this time she complied, but she was different. She morphed in my arms and the setting changed as well. Now we were in my bedroom in the darkness, and she was fondling my hard cock. I groaned in pleasure. Never before had the dream girl done something like this—it was always more of a tease.

When moved to put her mouth on me, I caught a glimpse of her face—it was Natalie!

I awoke with a start. Natalie was sucking my cock in the dream. With a gasp, I realized someone was sucking my cock in reality. Memories of last night flooded my brain and I realized my dream had been more reality than warped fantasy. Pushing the sheet aside, I saw Natalie's face in the moonlight as she had about four inches of my hard cock inside her mouth.

I tried to push her off of me, but she squeezed my balls almost painfully and sucked harder with her mouth. The pleasure was intense. I'd never felt such strong suction from the three girls who'd given me head before.

I whispered, "God! Natalie, what the fuck are you doing!?"

She hummed happily and slurped on my cock, bobbing her head repeatedly so that my cockhead never left her mouth and it was hitting the back of her throat on each down stroke. She was gagging a little bit as it hit the back of her throat each time, but she continued anyway.

"Natalie! Stop it!" I cried weakly.

Whether it was the weakness in my voice, or her own desire to continue that overpowered my cries to stop, it only served to spur Natalie on further. Either she'd actually been at it for a while before I woke or this whole incest thing was really a turn-on despite what my brain was telling me, because suddenly, my cock was spasming out thick ropes of cum into the back of my twin sister's throat.

Natalie coughed at first, spraying cum and saliva out onto my stomach, but she recovered quickly and happily took my firing rod back into her mouth to capture the other hot volleys of cock-juice I was unloading. Only one stream managed to escape her completely, hitting her in the jaw and neck.

When my cock finished firing, I watched in the pale moonlight as my gorgeous twin swished my cum around in her mouth, tasting it for a second before swallowing me down. She then scooped the rope on her chin and neck into her mouth and cleaned my stomach as well. The sight was so beautifully erotic, I felt my cock twitching back to hardness before me.

Natalie did not fail to notice either. Her eyes were gleaming in the beam of moonlight that was cast over us from my window. Unless it was winter, the nights were fairly bright here far away from the city's lights and haze. I had shades for my windows, but I preferred the strong moonlight at night. It was usually very pretty and it gave nights a very eerie calm.

"Natalie. Please!" I pleaded. But again, my words were empty and weak. I'd never been filled with desire like this before in my life. I wanted to please her in any way possible. I wanted to fill her with my seed, impregnate her, and—'Holy shit! What the hell are you thinking?!' I thought suddenly. For a brief moment, my mind actually managed to take control of things, even if it was just to be sensible.

"At least get a condom out of my drawer," I pointed. Natalie smiled at me, and crawled all the way out of bed. She was still wearing the t-shirt and panties she'd been wearing when we went to sleep. Once she had the condom from the drawer I'd pointed to, she turned back to me.

In the most sensual voice I'd ever heard in my life, my sister said, "I've wanted this for so long. I love you Nathan. I don't want to marry you or anything. I'm not dreaming of running away and living forever with you. But I want you to be my first, well ... my real first."

She slowly raised her shirt over her head and bared those astounding breasts to me. They were perfect globes of pale flesh, and I ached to taste them. But I couldn't move. I was completely enchanted. She then bent slowly and pushed her panties down, wiggling her hips slightly to get them down. The slight wiggle was not intentionally meant to be sexy or seductive, it was practiced and involuntary, like she always did it when removing her panties. Therefore, it was the most erotic sight of all.

My cock was literally drooling pre-cum. Normally, my cock didn't produce an overabundance of pre-cum. I knew that many guys only produced enough so that the skin of their cock smoothly moves over the outer layer of flesh where most of the nerves were. I was one of those guys. Rarely did I produce enough pre-cum that it actually flowed out of me. But tonight, seeing my twin sister shimmy out of her thong, my cock was in overdrive.

My brain desperately wanted to stop this before we went any further. A small voice in my head warned me that I was going to regret this if I didn't stop right now. But another part of me wanted only to please this goddess before me. If I were to compare the two loves of my life up to this moment to Greek Goddesses, Rachel would have been Aphrodite, the goddess of love, lust and beauty.

But Natalie was standing before me, naked and breathtakingly beautiful. She reminded me of Artemis, the goddess of the hunt, of wild things, and of the moon. Maybe it was because she was acting wild, or the way she had pursued me relentlessly for years until this moment, or maybe it was the way her skin glowed in the moonlight, but even today, of all the Greek Goddesses, Natalie still reminds me more of Artemis than any other.

Of course, at the time, I was enrolled in Western Civilization class and we were currently reading all about the Greek Pantheon and their tales. I quite enjoyed it all, and it was easy to compare my love life to that of a mortal being pursued by two goddesses. In that moment though, I tried to quickly dismiss the thoughts as I suddenly remembered the story of Adonis, who was a mortal whom Aphrodite had specifically encouraged a mortal princess to conceive by sleeping with her father, a mortal king.

The incestuous child, Adonis, was so beautiful a specimen of man that not only Aphrodite desired him. In fact, many of the goddesses of Olympus desired him. But Adonis himself had eyes only for Aphrodite. One story behind his death was that the virgin goddess, Artemis, was so enraged by his lack of love for her that she sent a giant wild boar to kill him. Then, Artemis also swore off men forever—mortal and immortal.

With those thoughts, I didn't like the idea of being Adonis. Yet, if I was, I was certainly about to change mythology. Because I definitely had eyes for Artemis now, and she would no longer be a virgin if I had anything to say about it—though, technically this Artemis wasn't a virgin, though in her mind, and my mind, she was.

Natalie, naked and lust-filled, climbed back onto the bed. She held the condom out and said, "You'll have to put it on for me."

Without thought, I took the condom, ripped it open, and slid it on my cock. Natalie watched my actions like she was studying them. And in retrospect, I'm guessing that's exactly what she was doing.

Once my cock was covered in lubricated latex, Natalie straddled my midsection, reached behind her and grabbed hold of my dick, and pointing it in the right spot, slowly sat down on me. I felt each glorious millimeter slide inside her, slowly. She was painfully tight. Her face was a mask of concentrated lust. Every breath was an ordeal, every agonizing centimeter of her voyage downward, a successful conquest.

She never closed her eyes though. Natalie stared deeply into my eyes. The intensity of our twin connection somehow grew exponentially in those moments. I could feel everything she felt and she could feel everything I felt. I felt like I could almost read her thoughts, and I was pretty sure she thought she could read mine.

The moments that passed while I first entered her were like nothing I'd ever experienced before. The physical sensation of sexual penetration was similar in most respects to every other tight penetration. But the intimate exchange between us was transcendent. I barely felt the physical sensations. My mind shut down completely when it came to processing my own feelings and instead I was awash in the feelings of Natalie.

I felt such love for me. I understood how she truly did adore me, not as a sexual partner, an object of lust, or even in as a potential mate. Instead, Natalie adored me as a gallant knight-protector, a best friend, a soul mate, and as a partner for life. It was the last aspect which I was completely entranced by.

Natalie understood wholeheartedly that we could never truly fall in love. We could never be man and wife. We could never raise children together. Not because of society, or what our parents would think, but because we weren't meant for each other like that. Natalie believed that she and I were destined to forever share our lives in every way.

She knew, our relationship was at a crossroads—we were either to be split apart forever, or become soul mates forever. It was the outcome of this sexual union that would either divide us forever, or bring us closer than any normal brother and sister. But it wasn't the incestuous sex that we should fear, I realized—it was the intensity of this connection. After tonight, I realized, we would share more than our souls, but our hearts and minds as well, at least to some degree.

After tonight, if we chose to continue down this path, I would share an intimacy with Natalie that was beyond that which I shared even with Rachel. Natalie would forever be a part of the major decisions in my life, and vice-versa. Not just decisions like, where to go to college, but who to love, who to marry, and who to become.

All of this information flooded into me with startling speed. It was only a matter of seconds, and when Natalie's tight pussy came to fully rest against the base of my cock and I was fully buried inside of her, I knew the decision was upon us. If we continued, we would forever be linked beyond that of a normal twin relationship. We would probably even share this experience again on occasion.